Lunch with the Loveologist Podcast

Anything you think you have understood about sexuality deserves to hear this remarkable conversation with Christopher Ryan, PhD., co-author of Sex at Dawn with his wife Cacilda Jetha, MD.  Without question two of the most educated and well researched thinkers explore the origin and evolutionary nature of human sexuality with a convincing array of interdisciplinary scientific evidence from anthropology, archeology, primatology and a bevy of cross cultural psycho sexual studies which took them 10 years to collect.   Gracefully and with compassion they end up debunking almost every belief about human nature and our intimate relationships that most of us hold dear.  I guarantee that you will think twice on what it means to love sexually and at least wonder how to expand the nature of loving relationships in your own life.   Genius,insight, provocative, funny and enlightening. Christopher Ryan received a BA in English and American literature in 1984 and an MA and Ph.D. in psychology from Saybrook University, in San Francisco, CA twenty years later. He spent the intervening decades traveling around the world, living in unexpected places working at very odd jobs (e.g., gutting salmon in Alaska, teaching English to prostitutes in Bangkok and self-defense to land-reform activists in Mexico, managing commercial real-estate in New York’s Diamond District, helping Spanish physicians publish their research). Somewhere along the way, he decided to pursue doctoral studies in psychology. Drawing upon his multi-cultural experience, Christopher’s research focused on trying to distinguish the human from the cultural. His doctoral dissertation analyzes the prehistoric roots of human sexuality, and was guided by the world-renowned psychologist, Stanley Krippner. Based in Barcelona since the mid-1990s, Christopher has lectured at the University of Barcelona Medical School and consulted at various local hospitals. He speaks about human sexuality to audiences around the world (in both English and Spanish). His work has appeared in major newspapers and magazines in many languages, scholarly journals, and a text book used in medical schools and teaching hospitals throughout Spain and Latin America.   Cacilda Jethá, M.D. Cacilda Jethá has an Indian face, a European education, and an African soul. She was born in Mozambique to a family that had immigrated two generations earlier from Goa, India. As a child, she fled civil war to Portugal, where she received most of her education and medical training before returning to Mozambique in the late 1980s. A young physician determined to help heal her country, Cacilda spent seven years as the only physician serving some 50,000 people in a vast rural district in the north of the country. While there, Cacilda also conducted research (funded by the World Health Organization) on the sexual behavior of rural Mozambicans in order to help design more effective AIDS prevention efforts. After almost a decade in Mozambique, Cacilda returned to Portugal, where she completed her medical residency training in both psychiatry and occupational medicine. She and Christopher currently reside together in Barcelona, Spain, where she is a practicing psychiatrist at Hospital San Joan de Déu and in private practice. She speaks Portuguese, French, Spanish, Catalán, English, and some rusty Tsonga.

There may be no bigger paradigm shift in a long term relationship than the discovery or disclosure of an affair.   Listen as Dr. Tammy Nelson explains the healing and recovery process after infidelity that has the power to bring love back into focus and redefine the erotic agreements defining your monogamy.   Author of the best selling "Getting the Sex You Want" Tammy brings her unique and in depth insights to creating a new level of empathy and connection in your relationships.  As a certified trainer in Imago Therapy, her work with couples brings them the opportunity to give meaning and new intimate connections in their relationship.   Don't give up on your relationship until after you have listened to this show.  It will surprise you. Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC is a licensed psychotherapist and author with over 20 years experience working with individuals and couples. In her private practice she helps couples increase the passion in their relationship using empathic dialogue and other forms of intimate communication. She holds a PhD in Sexology from the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists, and a Masters of Science Degree in Art Therapy and Psychology, she is a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Certified Sexologist, a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexologists, a Registered Art Therapist, and a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor as well as a Certified Imago therapist, an Advanced Clinician and Certified Imago workshop presenter. Tammy is the founder and Director of the Center for Healing in Connecticut, a holistic psychotherapy center providing psychotherapy, massage, hypnosis, as well as groups, workshops and classes that support a balanced, holistic lifestyle. She has been a featured expert in Glamour Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Mens Health and a source in Time Magazine. She has written for Psychotherapy Networker as well as several other major websites. Tammy is the author of several books including “Getting the Sex You Want” and "Whats Eating You?" She travels world wide to train therapists, doctors and health practitioners.  Her passion is to help couples increase their connection regardless of boredom or conflict. Tammy works with clients of all genders, sexual identities and ages to re-charge their relationships and create long term connection.

Learn how to give up insecurity and self recrimination in this tender conversation with Kristin Neff, PhD and author of Self-Compassion. Compassion is one of the most misunderstood yet life changing skills in our emotional toolkit. It connects us deeply to all of humanity and in doing so offers us access to true open-heartedness.  In practicing self compassion we give up the painful judgments that turn normal human suffering into failure and replace it with a self soothing voice of kindness.   By applying the Buddhist tradition of loving kindness to our own experience, we can learn to heal destructive emotional traps and become our own best friend. Kristin Neff, author of Self-Compassion got her Ph.D. at the University of California at Berkeley in 1997 in the field of moral development. She then spent two years of post-doctoral study in the field of self-concept development at Denver University. Her current position is in the Human Development and Culture Program, Dept. of Educational Psychology, at the University of Texas at Austin.  She started at UT in 1999 and was promoted to Associate Professor in 2006. During Kristin’s last year of graduate school in 1997 she became interested in Buddhism, and has been practicing meditation in the Insight Meditation tradition ever since. While doing her post-doctoral work she decided to conduct research on self-compassion – a central construct in Buddhist psychology and one that had not yet been examined empirically.  The scale she created to measure self-compassion was published in 2003 and is now being used by hundreds of researchers worldwide.  She is widely considered the world's foremost expert on self-compassion. Kristin lives in the countryside in Elgin, Texas with her husband Rupert Isaacson – an author and human rights activist – and with her young son Rowan. She and her family were recently featured in the documentary and book called The Horse Boy, which chronicles her family’s adventure to Mongolia to search for healing for their autistic son (www.horseboymovie.com).

Ever wonder about the twilight years of human sexuality?   Listen as Joan Price, senior sexpert and author of Better than I ever expected and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex dispels the myths of aging sexuality and replaces the current medicalized notions of  sexual dysfunction with a candid conversation about how sex lives and intimate relationships can change and heal us over time.   Inspired by her own late life love affair,  Joan offers a candid look at the challenges and surprises of re-discovering and connecting with your erotic self, which is ageless. Author and speaker Joan Price calls herself an “advocate for ageless sexuality.” At 61, Joan wrote Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty (Seal Press, 2006) to celebrate the delights of older-life sexuality—especially her spicy love affair with artist Robert Rice, who became her husband.  After Better Than I Ever Expected came out, hundreds of senior readers sent her questions and comments about the problems in their own sex lives. Joan’s follow up guide, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex (Seal Press, June 2011)  is a self-help guide for both men and women dealing with the challenges of older-age sexuality. Formerly a high school English teacher, Joan is also a fitness professional and author of The Anytime, Anywhere Exercise Book: 300+ Quick and Easy Exercises You Can Do Whenever You Want. Joan teaches contemporary line dancing in Sebastopol and Santa Rosa, California.

Ever wonder about the other side of the adult entertainment industry?  What motivates women to strip for money?  Are they used by the system or using it to create the life of their dreams.  Listen to Bad Girl Liz,  a provocative voice who is shifting the paradigm for dozens of female strippers and helping them to use their adult entertainment earnings to create a future of their choosing.   A former stripper, and one of the few adult entertainment female business owners, Liz has turned her expertise into the first coaching and mentoring program for female strippers. Bad Girl Liz is an entrepreneur and a life and business coach for female strippers.  Trained as a yogini,  shaman and a Reiki healer she offers a special blend of spirituality and business savvy to help young women use the adult entertainment industry instead of being used by it.     As an empowerment coach, she is dedicated to help those women avoid the traps of  the adult industry and achieve their dreams and fabulous education goals using stripping to get there. In response to the many stories she has seen through her own career she has set her  mission to shed a positive light on this industry and raise the bar of what the adult entertainment industry can offer its star talent.    She is an expert  and has helped many women in developing and creating Marketing Ideas, Entrepreneurial Concepts, Investment Opportunities, Educational Pursuits, Building Resumes, Creating More Wealth, Finding Your Job Transfer Skills, Finding Your Purpose and helping ease fears, depression or anxiety.

Join best selling author and sex educator Lou Paget share the secrets of a great sex life which she has learned in her world wide sexual seminars.   With a keen ability to listen for the questions under the questions, Lou provides not only the tips and techniques that can improve your sex life right now, but is able to provide the assurances and calm that allow for a deeper look into the mystery of sexual pleasure.   From orgasm to vaginismus,  listening to Lou will surely intrigue you into discovering your own questions, which is the real leap necessary to finding the answers. Lou Paget is a Certified Sex Educator, an international best selling author and entrepreneur of five books, translated into 28 languages, represented in over 60 countries with over 3 million copies sold.  Paget is an in-demand international speaker, presenter and sought after multi-media expert with countless TV appearances, her work has also been the focus of shows like HBO’s ‘Real Sex’, C4’s ‘Sex Tips for Girls’ and WE’s ‘Making Love Happen with Lou Paget’. By blending her vast general knowledge of all things sexual with her hard sciences background she delivers with her trademark calm fearless intelligence a clearer, more demystified body of information used equally by the general population and her peers in the fields of sexuality research.   Her brand is known for delivering information about sexuality and relationship sans the sleaze factor while retaining all of the accuracy, fun and the "You're kidding!!" factor.  Techniques and Tips are her specialty, she delivers bite-sized chunks of information you can use right away, that work! Sexual Health is a major focus of her professional mission, she was one of 13 members of the National Advisory Council convened by the 16th US Surgeon General Dr. David Satcher, she is on The Leadership Council of the First Endowed Chair for Human Sexuality at the University of Minnesota Medical school and is a continuing expert to numerous blogs and a Redbook Love Network expert.

Discover the convergence of sex therapy and tantric practice with Dr. Sally Valentine. Sexual issues have a soul and learning from them as you would a spiritual practice brings depth and meaning to every aspect of your relationship.   Sally shares insights and easy to adopt practices of breath and attention that will transform your intimate relationships into one of greater consciousness and joy.   Her unique perspective which brings the best of sex therapy and tantra together will inspire you to embody love in a whole new way. Dr. Sally Valentine has a doctorate in clinical sexology, is a licensed clinical social worker, and tantrika. She is an AASECT certified sex therapist and supervisor, certified in  hypnotherapy and EMDR (eye movement desensitization & reprocessing) and a Sivananda Yoga Teacher. She has a private practice in Boca Raton, FL, and specializes in relationship/intimacy issues, sexuality concerns, phases of life transitions, trauma, and stress reduction. Sally Valentine facilitates a program in Personal Transformation Intensive which focuses on codependency, releasing addictions, sexual abuse, mind/body issues and improving relationships. Sally is a national presenter to professional associations and workshop facilitator, speaking on sex, relationships, and the mind-body-spirit connection. She teaches mental health professionals ways to incorporate Tantra practices and sacred sexuality as a healing modality in the psychotherapeutic setting. Additionally, she offers weekend Tantra/Sacred Sexuality workshops for Couples, locally, as well as across the country.  

All couples deal with the painful process of initiation and mismatched desire in the course of their relationship.   Listen as Dr. David Schnarch, author of Intimacy and Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship and The Passionate Marriage offers time tested wisdom to make your relationship the people growing mechanism that it is.   Through insightful case studies and helpful exercises,  Dr. Schnarch unravels the gridlock that common sexual issues of boredom and low libido create.   Developing deep and meaningful intimacy with your partner starts with growing yourself.  Don’t miss this enlightening and helpful discussion on learning the basics of loving. Dr. David Schnarch is a licensed clinical psychologist, internationally recognized expert on relationships and sexuality, and best-selling author of Passionate Marriage, Intimacy & Desire, Resurrecting Sex, and Constructing the Sexual Crucible. He is the founder of Crucible® Therapy, an integrated treatment for sex, intimacy, and relationship problems, an approach which is studied by clinicians around the world. Crucible® Therapy differs from conventional couple’s therapy by emphasizing personal growth (“differentiation”) rather than communication skills, empathic listening, or compromise and negotiation. Differentiation-based Crucible Therapy teaches couples to tolerate the anxiety of communicating difficult things, while soothing one’s own emotional state which results in the ability for each partner to grow individually and becoming more skilled at growing a relationship. Dr. David Schnarch has been the subject of feature articles on NBC-TV Dateline, Town and Country Magazine, and CNBC-TV Real Personal. He has appeared on Today, and Good Morning America, and in USA Today, The Washington Post, Associated Press, Family Therapy Networker, Psychology Today, Self, Shape, and Mirabella. His work has been cited in Mademoiselle, Cosmopolitan, Ladies Home Journal, McCall's, Glamour, Redbook, and other magazines. He’s been featured in television, radio, and print media around the globe.  

Explore the "Slow sex movement" with Nicole Daedone, Founder of One Taste and  author of "Slow Sex: the art and craft of the female orgasm".   Through the use of mindful attention and a practice she has developed and has taught to thousands, OM (Orgasmic Meditation) offers an easy to adopt daily practice that elevates the cultivation of pleasure to a spiritual practice.  Learn how this shift in thinking and a daily attention to orgasmic pleasure can revolutionize not only your own sexuality, but the foundation of how you think about yourself and live in your body. Nicole Daedone is a speaker, author, and educator focusing on the intersection between orgasm, intimacy, and life. She is the founder ofOneTaste, a cutting-edge educational company bringing a new definition of orgasm for both women and men. She is the author of Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm (Grand Central/Hachette, May 2011) and has appeared on ABC's Nightline. Her work has been featured in the New York Times, the New York Post, the San Francisco Chronicle, and 7x7 Magazine, among others, and her writing has appeared in Tricycle magazine. The practice at the heart of her work is called OM or Orgasmic Meditation. OM uniquely combines the tradition of extended orgasm with the practice of Zen Buddhism, mystical Judaism and semantics. Helping to foster a new conversation about orgasm —one that’s real, relevant, and intelligent—she has inspired thousands of students to discover the pleasure available to them by making OM a part of their daily lives.

Discover the power and healing in the Wild Feminine energy at the heart of what it means to live in a female body.  Author, Tami Kent combines her understanding of energy medicine with her female physical therapy practice to introduce us all to the healing potential within the pelvic bowl.  From discovering our root voice to exploring the energetic influence of the ovaries, Tami reveals the amazing potential of healing and creation that is built into our physiology.  Don't miss the stories and exercises we discuss that will awaken the wild feminine energy in your life. Tami Lynn Kent is a woman's health physical therapist, founder of Holistic Pelvic Care for women, and author of Wild Feminine: Finding Power, Spirit & Joy in the Female Body. She is passionate about cultivating the creative energy that is meant to run through all aspects of a woman's life–and draws upon hers daily in mothering three gorgeous sons and making her way in the world. Her goal is to teach every woman how to read the physical and energetic patterns of the pelvic bowl and restore access to the full range of creative resources–this beauty and wildness within. Find out more at www.wildfeminine.com.

Love that Works 101—Join your loveologist, Wendy as she shares insights and wisdom about making your relationship vital, passionate and sustainable.   This talk will help you approach your relationship as a method of personal growth and help you recognize the four basic elements that create a healthy ecology of love. Learn to identify the thinking errors, communication blocks and safety issues that keep you from the intimate life you long for and deserve. Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative advice. It has been called "the essential guide for relationships".  The book available as an ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years t0 her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13-22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

Discover the healing that is available to you through Shamanic teachings with Sandra Ingerman, world renowned shamanic practitioner and trainer,  author of eight books including: How to Thrive in Changing Times and Awakening to the Spirit World: The Shamanic Path of Direct Revelation.   Shamanic practice is the oldest spiritual path on the planet practiced by millions throughout the world. This is a conversation that might change your mind about the truth you have heard within you and the fact that we all carry the power to change the world. Sandra Ingerman, is the author of numerous books and has taught thousands of workshops internationally on shamanic practices and healing.  She has trained thousands and  founded an international alliance of Medicine for the Earth Teachers and shamanic teachers.  Sandra is recognized for bridging ancient cross-cultural healing methods into our modern culture which  address the needs of our times. Sandra is devoted to teaching people how we can work together as a global community to bring about positive change for the planet which is the topic of her most recent books: How to Thrive in Changing Times and Awakening to the Spirit World: The Shamanic Path of Direct Revelation.  She has also authored six other books including Soul Retrieval, Medicine for the Earth, Shamanic Journeying: A Beginner’s Guide, and How to Heal Toxic Thoughts.   She has also produced several audio CDs  "Shamanic Meditations: Guided Journeys for Insight, Vision, and Healing" and "Soul Journeys: Music for Shamanic Practice" which have helped many learn the art of shamanic journey work.  Her work has been translated into ten languages and she produces an international monthly newsletter called Transmutation news. Sandra is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist and Professional Mental Health Counselor. She is also a board certified expert on traumatic stress as well as certified in acute traumatic stress management.  

Carol Queen, author of Real Live Nude Girl and long time sexpert at Good Vibrations apply her wit and intelligence to some of the  most complex and intriguing questions concerning human sexuality.  Fearless about exploring her own sexuality through experience, Queen advocates for sexual positivity and safety.  Don't miss this enlightening and lively conversation that affirms the truth of our own sexuality and the right we have to discover our capacity for pleasure. Carol Queen is an American author, editor, sexologist who has been influential in promoting the sex positive and feminist movement. Queen is the author of Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex-Positive Culture as well as Exhibitionism for the Shy: Show Off, Dress Up and Talk Hot.  She has also edited several volumes of erotica.  She is a regular contributor to the Spectator and on several blogs including at Good Vibrations where she has been the resident sexpert for years. Queen has produced adult movies, events, workshops and lectures. She has been featured as an instructor and star in several pornographic productions. Queen, together with her partner Robert Morgan Lawrence are the co-founders of the 501(c)3 education San Francisco based non-profit Center for Sex and Culture. The mission of the CSC is to "provide non-judgmental, sex-positive sexuality education and support to diverse populations by means of classes, workshops, social gatherings, and hands-on, practical skills-building events".  

Prepare to be introduced to the very heart of your life with Sally Kempton, who through four decades of training and teaching thousands of students the path to deep meditative states of Awareness.   Formerly a swami, her articulate and lucid explanation of the availability of wisdom and heart in our lives is a true breath of fresh air and freedom. Author of Meditation for the Love of it,  Sally is one of the most realized spiritual teachers with a gift of integrating a deep wisdom of love and ancient meditation practice.  Her voice offers a clear light and gentle guidance to the place we are all searching for- our own hearts.   Don't miss this interview that will change your heart if you let it. Sally Kempton is an internationally known teacher of meditation and spiritual wisdom, who has practiced and taught for more than 40 years in a Hindu tradition. Once a groundbreaking journalist writing for the Village Voice, Esquire, New York Magazine and the New York Times, Sally was also an early voice in the second wave feminist movement. In 1974, she left her career to study with her guru, travelling to India and around the world. She now teaches independently, writes a popular column, Wisdom, for Yoga Journal, and is the author of the recent Meditation for the Love of It, which the magazine Spirituality and Health called "the meditation book your heart wants you to read."  

Listen as Paul Chappell, former Army Captain dispels the three main myths of war—that it is inevitable, that it makes us safer and at the core, that human beings are naturally violent.   Author of "The End of War" and renowned national speaker on the urgency to begin the work of "waging peace",  Paul brings both his strong West Point academic training and experience on the battlefields to his well reasoned and profoundly loving conclusions that peace is possible in our lifetime.   Prepare to question your assumptions about the profound human capacity for love and healing, and our real opportunity to end war in our lifetime. Paul K. Chappell graduated from West Point in 2002.  He served in the army for seven years, was deployed to Baghdad in 2006, and left active duty in November 2009 as a Captain. He is the author of Will War Ever End?: A Soldier’s Vision of Peace for the 21st Century and The End of War: How Waging Peace Can Save Humanity, Our Planet, and Our Future. He lives in Santa Barbara, California, where he is serving as the Peace Leadership Director for the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation (www.wagingpeace.org). He is working on his third book, Peaceful Revolution: How We Can Create the Future Necessary for Humanity’s Survival, and he speaks about the necessity of ending war and doing the work of waging peace throughout the country to colleges, high schools, veterans groups, churches, and activist organizations.