KritzKast

The moment has come, we can finally reveal what hidden in the strongboxes. Cosmetics. Very good cosmetics, but cosmetics none the less. With the update we also gained some bioshock promo items, weapon balances and massive change to the way quickplay works. Listen now for all the details. Also covered this week is the steam music beta, many of Gary Schwartz voice lines for fans, the winners of the 72hr mapping contest and the SA show match using one of the winners. Plus our video of the week ten thousand feet.

Social groups collide Moments of Winter Classic Yellow snow… profit #TF2Haiku   Our thanks go to SleepDepJoel for the use of his artwork in this week’s show notes.

It’s amazing how little changes can make such a huge difference. Valve made their own servers the default for Quickplay causing a torrent of tears from devastated server owners. That too is how some traders felt after SourceOp appeared to shut down their PayPal rep forums. So many well regarded traders almost lost years of work they’d put into building their reputations. While the issue may have been resolved now, at the time of recording the only information any of us had was from an interview Sir Grey did with one of their admins. Following up on last week’s visit by Fr0z3n, we look at the maps which have emerged from the 72hr Winter Classic. We’ve played some of them but come on …. there’s over fifteen hours of gameplay there! If you want to try them out before voting ends we have a server running all the entries. Featuring our own Ruskeydoo we give you the Reddit vs Tumblr Showmatches, but with so many matches happening will the question of which has the best TF2 players be answered here? Staying on comp for a moment, Team Awesome also had their one day HL cup  on the Sunday while we recorded. Finally, a shout out to redditer corlore for using his intelligence to craft the only sign of intelligence you’re likely to see here for a while. And Legopie3 gets a mention too for his lego teleporter.

72 hours may seem like forever when you’re waiting to go on holiday but it flies by when that’s all the time you have to build, test and finish a map from scratch.  Fr0z3n from TF2maps.net joins us to explain what was involved in their first ever 72hr Winter Classic. Perhaps it’s good that they are following that competition with the comparatively more sedate Major Mapping Contest #10. This is in two parts; testing the metal of map makers’ layout prowess. Then the detailing stage, where the previously untextured maps are coloured in and made pretty. Speaking of pretty, Robin Walker’s head has been removed from the game. And speaking of heads, Gaming Heads have a new item: The Engineer, yours for a mere $269.99. Gabe is looking to raise some coins by racing cars. A donation of just $700 will get you a free t-shirt and that warm feeling you can only get from giving kids [your salary]. James McVinnie clears up some of the confusion surrounding his End of the Line update. You can buy a fully coloured 3D printed turret for €20 and lastly we welcome you to check out the glory that is Beard Fortress.

More changes have been made to the Short Circuit. We still question if this weapon can be balanced as its new version makes a huge difference to the way engie is played. From the very same update we have started to receive strongboxes. Could this have to do with the end of the line update? Only time will tell. In other news, 3A have shown off their new Machine Pyro figures for the first time. showing off that they look like they intend to do all (or most) of the Machine classes. We also found out the price tag for the Machine Heavy. Its too much for us to say outloud, click on the link to see for yourself. Last weekend also marked CES, at which, many prototypes for steam machines were on display. We go through the look and feel of these machines and say which ones we would pick up and why. However, if its a pickup group your looking for, but TF2lobby is down. Then why not take a look at TF2center.com which is currently in open beta. We’ve talked about it before, but now anybody can jump in and give it a go. Or maybe a Female Demoman is more what your looking for? These fantastic models created by Chemical Alia are her latest work on changing the gender on all of the classes in TF2. Then to top it all of, Sir grey has provided another video of an even larger Spy crab bet. this time worth over $16,000 in unusual hats. Wow.

Our hosts on the show this week are not what you’d normally expect. Along with Tempest and Chronos we also have Heartsman, Sirgrey and Jimo. The man behind at least 1 of the steam guides you’ve read. But he is also lucky enough to be part of the steam machine beta. As such we’ve asked him onto the show to talk about his experiences with the machine and the controller. Its also a great time to get his impressions (along with that of SirGrey and heartmans) of the Smissmass Events. However, Its not all good news. We talk this week about that fact that steam was Attacked on the last day of its sale, via DDOS. We chat about the flaws in the current system and the flaws in other people. So much so, that we talk about a claimed sharking case on TF2outpost. Instead of pointing fingers, we ask how could valve or the community prevent these things from happening? Also featured this week is the first picture of the Vinyl merc….painted. They look so cute. Plus a fantastic SFM video that we felt the need to show you. Mainly because its nice to see people making SFM videos that aren’t for the saxxies. Don’t forget to check out our post on Thenodi’s latest creation. A real life HoUWaR  

I know, I know. The Smissmas update was last week, but we didn’t talk about it last week, as we were to busy flipping through the archives of humor (see episode 252 for details). Now we have the time to digest the mass of Smissmass items, Festive weapons, and balances. Lots of weapon balances. As with any patch involving weapon changes, we talk in great depth about their effect in competitive, pub and mvm scenarios. Outside of TF2, the rest of steam is still in the holiday sale. Featuring, sales, flash sales, Community sales, boat sails…..wait. Scratch that last part. But it does feature holidays cards that can be crafted into badges. But its when you do the crafting that you could end up with an exclusive TF2 cosmetic. Over the month of December, TF2 Mixup have partnered up with Yogscast & the Humble Bundle to run another round of charity matches…..However, in a revolutionary move, its no longer between 2 teams, its against 4. A 4 team arena tournament. Featuring Team Yogscast, Team Star_, Team Captainsparklez & Team Nilesy. Watch all of the matches including the explosive final here. Then to round it off is Hatmash. A great site trying to find the greatest hat of all time. you are presented with 2 cosmetics from TF2. You click on your favorite. Its that simple. Check it out here.

Smissmass is upon us again and its that time of the year where we open our archives and show all of our screw ups over the last year. However, last year Smissmas it was our 200th episode. So we actually have 2 years worth of outtakes for you. Yes there are a few skits requested by fans and bad christmas karoke for you. But mostly, this is an insight into how we make the show. Enjoy Schedule 1 – Outtake – How to segway into Scout vs Witch 2 – Outtake – Why does Windows 8 suck? 3 – Skit – The birth of Christ 4 – Outtake – Chronos’ pony troll 5 – Outtake – How to deal with shit coffee 6 – Bad Karoke – Last Smissmas 7 – Outtake – Heartsmans Dog 8 – Outtake – Tight spot for a PS3 9 – Outtake – Dear future tempest 10 – Outtake – Forbidden planets delivery service 11 – Outtake – Edit out Heartsman 12 – Trailer – Little buddy Scout 13 – Outtake – How does one intro? 14 – Outtake – Merrrrrrrrasmus 15 – Outtake – Words we can’t say 16 – Outtake – Merrrrrrrrasmus!!! 17 – Outtake – Clunge pack? 18 – Outtake – Piss discing

Its the run up to Christmas, So we have no update to talk about this week. But that’s fine. I’m sure something will be dropped soon….please….Valve. But in the mean time, we decided to make content of our own. What am I talking about? I’m of course talking about our interview with Makani. She is the person responsible for drawing the latest comic series that were enjoying on TF2.com. We ask a whole host of questions in our stand alone interview, which you can check out here. However, its not just us blowing our own trumpet on how good an interview we got, We also talk about the 300 Steam machines that have now gone out for beta testing. We’re a little upset that it turned out to be a US only affair, but laws are laws. If you want to have a look first hand at somebody uncrating (yes I mean uncrating) one of these, check out this video, or to see how TF2 plays on a steam machine, take a look at this. Have you ever wanted the heavy to wish you happy birthday? Or the demoman record your voice mail message for you? Now you can. Gary Schwartz, the voice of said 2 classes and other valve characters, is doing a kickstarter for a project to help theatre actors be better prepared. What does that have to do with me getting a custom ringtone you say. Well, if you donate $50 to his kickstarter, he will record a personal message in the voice of one of his characters. Awesome or what? Then lastly, its all about the raffles. Bazzar.tf’s crystal raffle has now ended, but you can still go back and check out the games that were available, including a little reference to our editor Doug doing a cooking show. Plus TF2r.com are holding a Christmas raffle where you can get your hands on a pile of items to make your friends jealous.

There’s a good chance you’ve been enjoying Heather Campbell‘s work for some time without ever knowing it was hers. Team Fortress 2 was released six years ago with neither back story or lore. The game was, after all, just a first person shooter with fast respawn times. This didn’t stop each of the classes from having complex backgrounds that reached far beyond their stereotypes; the suave Frenchman; the cocky scout. Gamers, like nature itself, abhor a vacuum, so it wasn’t long before fan art and stories started popping up everywhere. In the absence of canon, fans made their own. Valve’s canny Fortress team quickly recognised that this was to be encouraged. The WAR! event gave players a chance to pit demomen against soldiers while simultaneously providing artists an official gallery to show off their talents via the propaganda contest. To accompany the update there was a comic that focused entirely on a character who up till then had existed only as a voice: the administrator. This image of a hard-hitting, clerical, old mare of a woman was pulled directly from an image Heather had posted to her Deviant Art blog under the username Makani as “the announcer” a few months before under the title, “mission begins in five”. It appears that in that time Valve had contacted Makani, brought to her their studio in Seattle and offered to buy the likeness from her. Valve aren’t big into external attribution. There’s a saying that it takes a village to raise a child but in Valve’s case it takes a cabal to make a game. The lore surrounding that game is no different so it’s not always obvious exactly who has done what within their content. Makani has contributed her artistic skills here and there to various games but if you want to see her work in detail you need go no further than the Team Fortress comics: Blood Brothers, A Fate Worse Than Chess, Ring of Fired and Unhappy Returns. With the latest of these just out now we asked Makani to talk to us about her time in Valve, about her path to her current position and to chance our arm with a mention in the next comic.

I wanted to call this episode “Team Fortchess 2″ but Doug got his way, and frankly I’m okay with that. This is after all a lovely episode. This week’s update was a simple one, Crates 75, 76 and 77 have been added along with the 2013 Naughty and Nice winter crates. There were a few new strange parts added too, best of which was the Unusual-Wearing Player Kills, something for the poor and Irish. Just three months after the first, there’s a new Team Fortress comic out called unhappy returns. The covers look uncannily like some classic comics. Best of all we have had an interview with Makani, the artist who draws these comics and a quite a few of those that came before. Raffles are getting pretty common place now but bazaar.tf have set their apart with their Crystal Bazaar; if you look very closely you can even see Doug getting a mention on The BZ quiz. Vladar, more famous for his real-life Heavy’s minigun, has created the festive sandvich which we all seem to like a lot more than the TF2 Chess for which but for the love of Doug this episode would have been named.

It’s all about the gold this week; those who have it, those who win it and those who want it so much they are willing to do just about anything to get it. We’re joined by Majine who has the distinction of being the first person to ever get a Golden Pan. He also sold it for five and a half thousand dollars. ozfortress gets their own gold-ish (more a sort of coppery-brass) medals to distribute to winners of their various events. The Saxxys happened and we were lucky enough to have been streaming with him when CobaltGemini realised he had won with the Lil’ Guardian Pyro SFM. TF2Mixup.com is back! And this time it’s going all Arena. You can give your money to all the charities involved by donating to Yogcast Humble Bundle and you will walk away with a Heart of Gold. Dreamhack, the single biggest LAN event in the world featured an MGE TF2 event in Sweden this week. Ruskeydoo and Agro were there to do their own version of commentary. The Starfox TF2 team have themselves a developer website which you should defiantly check out.

Just when we were starting to think it was the end of the line for Valve made additions to the game we get a huge Mann vs Machines update. The Two Cities update features two new MvM advanced maps, Mannhattan and Rottenburg. Medic gets three new MvM-only weapons in the form of the ghostbusters style Reanimator, the Shield and the Mad Milk Syringes.  A few other weapons are tweaked too to make them work better in MvM. There’s a new control point map, Snakewater, that’s been used by the comp scene for years but it’s kinda mad seeing in a game with 12-16 people on each side. Also included in the update is a new way to flavor your ordinary or otherwise weapons into Killstreak weapons. Ruskeydoo and Heartsman do a pretty good job of explaining what that means while Agro thinks hard of questions to ask our guest this week. The RPS featured creator of the End of the Line trailer and Practical Problems entry to the Saxxys 2012, Jame McVinnie. He has news about his own TF2 update and lets slip a secret or two about what’s going to be in it. Speaking of Saxxys, this year’s competition is coming to a head so they get a mention but not before we lambaste ESEA for their bitcoin farming ways. Now that they have been fined (pinky finger in the corner of the mouth) one million dollars it’s hardly surprising that AG are looking to move to CEVO.

As we say goodbye to another year of Halloween it’s not it’s with some regret that we can’t actually tell you what Eternaween looks like. In theory it should be dark and sinister with silly hats for hours but you need a registered server and no-where we’ve tried it seems to work. What makes this doubly frustrating is that there are 13 new Merasmus voice lines including such beauties as “Happy Halloween mode!“ and our favourite “Welcome to T-G-I-Halloween, where it’s always Halloween! I’m Merasmus, your server! We have a couple of lovely specials tonight: ONE OF THEM IS YOUR OWN DEATH! The other is loaded tuscan flatbread.” Mmmm, loaded tuscan flatbread. Maybe we have to wait till the next full moon though since that’s when the Halloween spells will have their visible effects. On the no-wait list we have the Collectors item quality. Just combine 200 of your identical unique quality item with a special chemistry set and out pops one red weapon. Totally worth it. As are voting for this year’s Saxxys, which as luck would have it has begun. Corporate Secrets and Crackpot are two examples of the level of quality we’re seeing in 2013. Be sure to keep an eye on our YouTube and Facebook pages where we’ll be highlighting some of our other favs. Looking out to our friends at TF2maps.net they are having a 72hr Winter Mapping event in a few.. well a few months. Kick off date is Jan 17th but that’s no reason to not start getting excited now. You’ll have to maintain that excitement over Thanksgiving and Smissmass but hey, call it tantric practise. Until then Hideous joined us to chat about some of the interesting winter themed items appearing in the Steam Workshop: The Arctic Adventurer, The Chronoscarf, xmas_Ball_2 and The Puff Papa. One think you’ll not see this season, or ever again for that matter is the ID badge. This little unused item has been completely removed from the game.. aww, I would have bought one and given it to Gordon Freeman since it’s his 15th and 9th birthdays for the first and second Half Life games.

Halloween is finally over. But that won’t stop us from talking about it and what classes got what. We chat about our impression of the event, How we would have done it differently and cover the new fixes and changes that were made to smooth it all out. Plus we laugh ourselves silly at some of the cut medic lines. This week we’ve brought in Sir gray. One of the admins from PPM trading group, who this week hosted an event/video of a $9000 Spy crab bet. We take this chance to discuss why such things happen, how the trading community reacted to some of the new items/unusual effects Valve let some of the worlds tech and game media get their first hands on look at the new steam machines. If only we were some of those people, Then we’d answer the most important question of all…..does the controller lend itself to TF2? What do you do if TF2 Lobby goes down? You bombard TF2 Center, the Work In Progress replacement, with requested for a beta. That is exactly what happened on Sunday. As such, TF2 Center did a 1 day open beta. How much better will it be than the currently abandoned TF2lobby? Ruskeydoo, who had a chance to try it, Thinks it will be a lot better.