Speculative Grammarian Podcast

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXXIX — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined again by returning guest Madalena Cruz-Ferreira. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss angry texting orthography, and then attempt to lend a helping hand to non-academics.

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXXVIII — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined yet again by returning guest Tim Pulju. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss automating historical linguistic reconstructions, and then discuss ideas for new linguistics- and language-themed holidays.

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXXVII — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined by returning guest Tim Pulju. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss cross-linguistics differences in language acquisition (with special references to lemurs) and share some more Randomata. Also, identify the Secret Word of the Day and email Trey (@SpecGram.com) within a week of the episode's release for a chance to win a free copy of The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics!

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXXVI — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined again by guest Jason Wells-Jensen. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss the pointlessness of baby talk compared to the pointlessness of lemur screeches, and review more comprehensive exam questions. Also, identify the Secret Word of the Day and email Trey (@SpecGram.com) within a week of the episode's release for a chance to win a free copy of The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics!

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXXV — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined by guest Jason Wells-Jensen. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss the wisdom of trying to revive “Indo-European”, and partake in some Linguistic Parlor Games. Also, identify the Secret Word of the Day and email Trey (@SpecGram.com) within a week of the episode’s release for a chance to win a free copy of The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics!

Old Professor Hockett; by James Riley Whitcomb; From World of Language, Volume I, Number 2 of The Journal of the Linguistic Society of South-Central New Caledonia, February 1991 — Old Professor Hockett came to our school one day, / To teach us some linguistics and earn a little pay. / More accurately, history was what he taught us all / In 1989, as the leaves began to fall; / And all us graduate students, when the clock struck one, / We’d gather in the classroom and have the mostest fun / A-listening to the stories that Hockett told about / And the Chomskyans that gets you / If you / Don’t / Watch / Out! (Read by Keith Slater.)

Annual Realgedankenexperiment Grant; by the Journal of Forbidden Experiments; From Volume CLXVII, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, April 2013 — Once again, the Journal of Forbidden Experiments is accepting applications for its Annual Realgedankenexperiment Grant, underwritten by the generous donations of the Van Tricasse family. (Read by Trey Jones.)

The Texas World Cultural Festival and Poetry Recitation Competition; by Damian Grammatical; — I’m Damian Grammatical, Radio Highbrow’s Culture Correspondent based in Austin, Texas. On Saturday, the 18th of October, 2014, the Texas World Cultural Festival and Poetry Recitation Competition was held in Corsicana, Texas. The day began with the “Not Square But Just as Interesting” ethnic dance exhibition, which featured such dances as the Viennese waltz and the Argentine tango. (Performed by Mark Brierley, Jason Wells-Jensen, Insook Kim, Brandy Graham, Les Strabismus, Mikael Thompson, Joyce Almaguer-Reisdorf, Trey Jones, Bill Spruiell, Tim Pulju, Bethany Barber, and Georgina Hall.)

The Definition of Progress; by Sam Crusemire; From Volume CLXVI, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, February 2013 — The average member of Richmond’s “jeunesse dorée” will be delighted to discover that our university plans to release its own “Dictionary of the English Language”. Over the course of a few decades, the Departments of English, Classics, and Modern Literatures and Cultures developed the dictionary, considering Webster pedantic and the OED too wordy. (Read by Trey Jones.)

Using NLP to Defeat NLP; by The Γραμματο-Χαοτικον; From Volume CLXV, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, October 2012 — We are the Γραμματο-Χαοτικον, an underground alliance of linguists, philologists, and polyglots. Our self-appointed role is to encourage arbitrary and capricious change both in Language and among languages, world-wide. Our exploits are legion, and now reasonably well documented (see “The Γραμματο-Χαοτικον Manifesto”, SpecGram CL.4). (Read by Trey Jones.)

Important Idioms in Contemporary Science; by Metalleus; From Lingua Pranca, June, 1978 — Text: (28) is very likely a universal constraint. / Read: I know, for sure, that (28) works for English, French, and certain Lolo-Burmese dialects. (Read by Trey Jones.)

Linguists Don’t Need Prescriptivists; by Dr. D. Schkrbtov; From Volume CLVIII, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, January 2010 — I was very disturbed and exceedingly disappointed when I first read Afiresay, Iresaf, and Safopireop’s screed “Linguists Need Prescriptivists (and probably Pig Latin, too)”, for a variety of different reasons. The authors, in discussing language games and their importance to the field of linguistics, only mention the English transformative “games” Pig Latin and Opish. (Really, was that the best they could come up with? Even first-years should know something of Cazarny, or Obby Dobby, or Cockney Rhyming Slang!) (Read by Trey Jones.)

Linguists Need Prescriptivists, and probably Pig Latin, too; by Dr. Illiamway Afiresay, hDPay; Dr. Iamwill Iresaf, DPh; and Dr. Willopiamop Safopireop, PophopDop; From Volume CLVI, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, March 2009 — It has been theorized before that many of the perceived constraints on human language (and thus on any universal grammar of human language) are actually more likely to be constraints on the ways that human languages can change as they are transmitted from one generation to the next. On the other hand, language games, such as Pig Latin, Verlan, or Opish, often require transformations that violate the so-called “rules” of Universal Grammar. (Read by Trey Jones.)

Don’t Baby That Baby, Baby; by Butch McBastard; From Volume CLXVIII, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, October 2013 — Despite the attempts by those who study the phenomenon to dress it up in jargon (“caretaker speech”), cutesiness (“motherese”), or TLAs (IDS/CDS—“infant-/child-directed speech”), baby talk is still baby talk, and frankly as a linguist I’m insulted that you think I’d fall for that kind of whitewashing of such a despicable practice. That’s right, I said it, baby talk is despicable. (Read by Trey Jones.)

A Psychosis of the “Framework Psychosis” Framework; by Jonathan van der Meer; From Volume CLXVIII, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, November 2013 — Framework Psychosis, as expertly reified by Dr. Pill, is a very useful window on the world. It provides an explanatory model of the success of the most successful frameworks, of tribalism in linguistics, and of Chomsky’s successful decades-long trivialization of performance in favor of competence. (Read by Jonathan van der Meer and Trey Jones.)