The Boundless Show

Repenting for real, plus signs of a healthy dating relationship, and should you leave a church over theological differences?Featured musical artist: David Dunn ( http://www.daviddunnmusic.com/ )Roundtable: Signs of True Repentance (Part 2)Repentance is an important part of the Christian life, and because we’re all sinners, we should be experts at repenting, right? The truth is, living in genuine repentance is harder than you think. Pastor Mark Bates and professional counselor Tim Sanford talk about how to recognize true repentance in ourselves and others. In part two of our discussion, they address whether ministry leaders can be reinstated after showing repentance, choosing to forgive someone who has sinned against you, and finding victory over strongholds.Counseling Consultation and Referrals: ( https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/ )Culture: Are You Dating the Right Person? As a mentor mom who loves seeing God write young adults’ love stories, Rhonda Stoppe has a lot of real-world dating advice. In this thought-provoking discussion, she shares some vital tips for knowing if the person you’re dating is someone you should marry. She’ll address the topics of kindness, purity, evaluating your motives and more. Donate a gift of any amount to Boundless and you’ll receive "Real-Life Romance: Inspiring Stories to Help You Believe in True Love" by Rhonda Stoppe.10 Christian Dating Advice Tips to Pursue a Godly Relationship: ( https://www.crosswalk.com/family/singles/godly-relationship-advice-tips-to-know-before-you-date.html )Inbox: Questioning a Church Leader’s TheologyShe recently broke up with her boyfriend after learning that he and his family believe in “open theism.” Since his dad is a church leader, she’s now questioning whether or not it’s time to leave the church they all attend. Pastor Mark Bates addresses the problematic nature of theological differences and what to do when you’re torn about leaving a church you love.

Repenting for real, plus hope for women struggling with sexual sin, and should you date someone with a criminal record?Featured musical artist: Austin Stone Worship ( https://www.austinstoneworship.com/ )Roundtable: Signs of True Repentance (Part 1)Repentance is an important part of the Christian life, and because we’re all sinners, we should be experts at repenting, right? The truth is, living in genuine repentance is harder than you think. Pastor Mark Bates and professional counselor Tim Sanford talk about how to recognize true repentance in ourselves and others. In part one of our discussion, they define repentance, explain the difference between sinning and struggling, and offer hope to those caught in cycles of sin.Counseling consultation and referrals: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/Steps for Breaking Pornography Addiction article: https://www.boundless.org/adulthood/practical-steps-for-breaking-pornography-addiction/ and Putting Away Porn For Good article: https://www.boundless.org/adulthood/sexuality/putting-porn-away-for-good/Inbox: Dating Someone With a Criminal Record She met a guy at church, but is concerned about his past as a convicted sex offender. It happened before he became a Christian, but should this be a disqualifier for dating him? Counselor Yale Kushner balances God’s grace with the practical implications of this man’s felony record.

Part two of a Q&A with the Boundless team, plus questions about practicing humility, and should she be friends with an ex-boyfriend?Featured musical artist: Vertical Worship ( https://www.verticalofficial.com/ )Roundtable: The Boundless Team Answers Your Questions (Part 2)Our team got together to answer questions sent in by you, our listeners. The questions range from what’s on our current playlists to favorite places to travel, dating advice, getting through a difficult season of life and more. Hear part two of our discussion with Lisa, Hannah and John.Culture: What Is True Humility? (Part 2)We’re all convinced we’re humble enough. It’s everyone else who needs to work on being less prideful, right? But what’s the definition of humility, and what does it look like in everyday life? Pastor David Mathis from Desiring God uses biblical examples to address what it means to be humbled by God, how to humble yourself, and what we can learn about humility from the life of Jesus. In part two, he answers listener questions. Get the book "Humbled: Welcoming the Uncomfortable Work of God" here: ( https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-03-24?refcd=1337402 )Inbox: Letting an Ex-Boyfriend Back In A guy broke up with her because he felt he could never live up to her standards of moral purity. Now he wants to be friends again. Is it wise to let him back in her life? Counselor Wendy Brown weighs in.

Part one of a Q&A with the Boundless team, plus what true humility looks like, and is dating a non-Christian always a bad move? Featured musical artist: Nathan Tasker ( http://www.nathantasker.com/ )Roundtable: The Boundless Team Answers Your Questions (Part 1)Our team got together to answer questions sent in by you, our listeners. The questions range from what’s on our current playlists to favorite places to travel, dating advice, getting through a difficult season of life and more. Hear part one of our discussion with Lisa, Hannah and John. Culture: What Is True Humility? (Part 1)We’re all convinced we’re humble enough. It’s everyone else who needs to work on being less prideful, right? But what’s the definition of humility, and what does it look like in everyday life? Pastor David Mathis from Desiring God uses biblical examples to address what it means to be humbled by God, how to humble yourself, and what we can learn about humility from the life of Jesus. Get your free copy of Humbled: Welcoming the Uncomfortable Work of God here: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-03-24?refcd=1332705Inbox: Is Missionary Dating Unwise? She recently met a guy online and they have great chemistry. The only problem is, he’s not a Christian. Could dating him introduce him to Jesus, or is the whole idea risky and unwise? Lisa Anderson weighs in. For the culture segment, John Peardon mentioned that he’d like to start having the GOAA URL in the description, but I don’t think hyperlinks go through onto podcast descriptions. I went ahead and just put the link natively in there. Let me know if that works/what you think might be best.

Creative ideas for paying down debt, plus a Q&A on friendships with the opposite gender, and dating without disappointing your parents. Featured musical artist: Stu Garrard ( http://www.stugworld.com/ )Roundtable: Creative Ways to Tackle DebtSchool loans, car payments, credit cards. Many young adults walk into adulthood staring at a mountain of debt. Is there a way to take control and start chipping away at the problem? Surprisingly, small steps make a big difference, and being creative in your approach will get you even further. Our guests share their most unique and efficient ways to pay off debt and save money. Culture: Guy and Girl Friendships (Part 2) Ambiguous male/female friendships — they happen to the best of us. Fortunately, Boundless contributors Joshua Rogers and Suzanne Gosselin have written about the subject and are here to talk about it. Are opposite-gender friendships possible? What happens when one party develops feelings for the other? In part two of our discussion, Joshua and Suzanne answer your questions about guy and girl friendships. Links to Articles: "Not Your Buddy"& "Your Friendgirl Deserves Better" & "Whose Job Is It to Define the Relationship?" & "Revisiting 'Not Your Buddy'"Inbox: Will My Parents Feel Left Out? She’s close with her parents, and is somewhat of a social and emotional support for them. She wants to start dating, but doesn’t want her parents to feel abandoned in the process. What’s the best move? Counselor Elaine Humphries weighs in.

Date without compromising who you are, plus a discussion on friendships with the opposite gender, and should your parents approve of your date? Featured musical artist: All Sons & Daughters ( https://www.instagram.com/allsanddmusic/ )Roundtable: Dating Someone Without Losing YourselfYour friend started dating someone, but now they’ve gone MIA. Or you know someone who got in a relationship and turned into a different person. Too many people are willing to compromise their values, personality and time for someone else, and the results are usually disastrous. Our guests share how they brought balance and accountability to their relationships in order to stay true to who they really are. Culture: Guy and Girl Friendships (Part 1) Ambiguous male/female friendships — they happen to the best of us. Fortunately, Boundless contributors Joshua Rogers and Suzanne Gosselin have written about the subject and are here to talk about it. Are opposite-gender friendships possible? What happens when one party develops feelings for the other? In part one of our discussion, Joshua and Suzanne share the possibilities and pitfalls of being “just friends.” Related Articles: Not Your Buddy & Your Friendgirl Deserves BetterInbox: Should Your Parents Approve? He has a new girlfriend and wonders if his parents need to approve of the relationship. He feels they tend to be controlling, but he also wants to honor their opinion. What should he do? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in.

The desire for control in dating, plus navigating life transitions, and are you spending too much time with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Featured musical artist: Various Artists ( https://www.integritymusic.com/ )Roundtable: Who’s Leading Your Relationship?In an ideal world, everyone in a relationship would be perfectly sacrificial, always seeking the good of the other person, and finding a just-right balance of leadership and following, giving and taking. But we’re not in the real world. Here at Boundless, we find that daters get especially frustrated because they don’t think their partner is doing the “right thing.” Generally, women say men are too passive, and men say women are too controlling. Is this true? How do we encourage godly leadership in men while not taking a woman’s voice away? Our guests share how they navigated the tricky space of leadership and control while dating and discussing marriage with their now-spouses. Culture: The Only Constant Is ChangeChanges and transitions are part of life. You go from college to the professional world, you move to a new place, change jobs, change jobs again, start dating, then transition to marriage and having kids. But is there a way to do life transitions well when there are no easy formulas? Pastor Mark Bates just went through a major career transition and shares how he trusted God to get him through. He also reflects on transitions back when he was a young adult, and how everything has prepared him for where he is today. Inbox: Am I Spending Too Much Time With My Girlfriend? He recently started dating a girl, but she always wants to spend time together. It’s very early in the dating relationship, and with work and other commitments he’s starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. How should he handle this? Lisa Anderson weighs in.

Moving on after a breakup, plus Plugged In’s Adam Holz on the latest movies and Oscar buzz, and Lisa recommends her favorite books. Featured musical artist: Abandon ( https://www.instagram.com/abandonmusic/ )Roundtable: Finding Hope After a BreakupBreakups are tough. Your dreams for the relationship are dashed, and your heart is left wondering if it will ever recover. Is there a healthy way to move on? Our guests share their breakup experiences and what they learned through the process. If you or someone you know is in a dark place after a relationship went south, this conversation will remind you there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Culture: Minding Your MoviesThe Oscars are almost here, and they always seem to be a mixed bag. Plugged In director Adam Holz watches movies for a living, so he’ll break down this year’s Academy Award contenders, share a few of his all-time favorite flicks, and offer helpful strategies for media discernment any time of year. Inbox: Lisa's Favorite BooksMany listeners to the show know that host Lisa Anderson loves a good book. But have you wondered what her all-time favorites are? This week she’ll offer her best recommendations in the categories of Christian living, fiction, biographies and more.

How COVID has impacted the way we do church, plus discovering your life purpose, and should single adults foster and adopt children? Featured musical artist: Aaron Strumpel ( http://www.aaronstrumpel.com/ )Roundtable: COVID and the Local ChurchSince the start of the COVID pandemic, many churches have seen a big drop in both attendance and volunteers. Congregations are divided on things like mask mandates, vaccines, livestream technology and more. Our panelists share what has changed for them in experiencing church post-pandemic, and what has stayed the same. They also offer encouragement for staying focused on the gospel and making in-person worship a priority. Culture: The Research Behind Finding Your PurposeGod made our lives to have direction and meaning. But struggles and disappointments abound, and it’s easy to lose our way. Dr. Stephanie Shackelford is a senior fellow at the Barna group where she’s done excellent research on how one can find their unique calling in life. She shares practical insights for moving ahead with clarity, including a four-step process: define, discover, decide, and do. Inbox: Should a Single Adult Foster and Adopt Children?She’s strongly considering adopting a child. But the big question looming in her mind is, does the Bible say anything about single adults adopting children? And either way, what are the pros and cons? Dr. Sharen Ford, Focus on the Family’s director of foster care and adoption, weighs in.

When the person you like isn’t attracted to you, plus hope for people-pleasers, and how to respond to a single pastor’s romantic interest.Featured musical artist: Covenant Worship ( https://covenantchurch.org/whatwedo/worship/ )Roundtable: When Attraction Isn’t MutualYou happen to really like someone, but as you get to know them it becomes clear that the feelings of attraction aren’t mutual. Should you hold on to the hope that their feelings will change, or is it safer to just move on? Our panel shares ideas for navigating the awkwardness and disappointment of unrequited love, and how you can find peace even when someone doesn’t like you back. Culture: Taming the People-Pleasing Monster (Part 2)People-pleasers abound. In fact, if you’re honest, you probably are one. People-pleasers do the hard work, hoping someone will notice or give us a compliment for our efforts. Or we never say “no,” afraid to face disapproval or rejection. But constantly looking for approval will only leave us feeling used and depleted. Dr. Mike Bechtle shares how he’s struggled with and learned to stop trying to live for the approval of others. In part two of our discussion, he’ll share some practical tips for overcoming people-pleasing tendencies. Inbox: My Pastor Wants to Date MeShe just moved and started attending a young adults group at her new church. However, the pastor is a single guy who has started showing interest in her. She appreciates his attention, but isn’t interested in dating right now. How should she respond? Counselor MT Wilson weighs in.

Making time for rest, plus common fears of a people-pleaser, and should you and your spouse have separate bank accounts?Featured musical artist: David Baloche ( https://www.louderthanthemusic.com/product.php?id=2437 )Roundtable: How to Rest WellYour to-do list is full and it seems like you don’t have enough time to catch your breath. Are you taking on too much? Are your priorities off? Maybe you don’t know the difference between “checking out” and getting true restorative rest. Our guests share ways they’ve learned to practice self-care and rest well, even with busy lives. Culture: Taming the People-Pleasing Monster (Part 1)People-pleasers abound. In fact, if you’re honest, you probably are one. People-pleasers do the hard work, hoping someone will notice or give us a compliment for our efforts. Or we never say “no,” afraid to face disapproval or rejection. But constantly looking for approval will only leave us feeling used and depleted. Dr. Mike Bechtle shares how he’s struggled with and learned to stop trying to live for the approval of others. In part one of our discussion, he’ll share the common fears that people-pleasers face. Inbox: Separate Finances in Marriage? She and her boyfriend are close to getting engaged, but she’s troubled by some of his requests. Years ago, he went through a tough divorce where he lost a lot. Now, he’s wanting to have separate bank accounts and has even mentioned her signing a prenuptial agreement. What’s the best way for her to respond to these concerns? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in.

Uncertainty around goals and calling, plus a live Q&A with Carey Nieuwhof, and should you speak up if a friend is engaged to a non-Christian?Featured musical artist: Stu Garrard ( https://www.stugworld.com/ )Roundtable: Clarifying Your Life GoalsLate January is typically the time of year when many give up on their New Year's resolutions. But what if you aren’t even sure what your goals are? What if the trajectory of your life seems vague at best? Our panel opens up about times they felt discouraged about their goals and what they learned from those seasons. If you’re feeling down about the direction of your life in 2022, this will give you some hope. Culture: Make the Most of Your Time (Part 2)Last week he told us how to live and work at our best. Join us this week for a Q&A with pastor, author and leadership expert Carey Nieuwhof as he answers questions from a live audience about priorities, time management, influence and more. Inbox: When a Friend Is Engaged to a Non-ChristianHer friend recently got engaged — but her friend’s fiancé is not a Christan. She’s deeply concerned and is wondering if she should say something. Counselor Wendy Brown weighs in.

Volunteering in your community, plus Carey Nieuwhof on maximizing effectiveness, and should you reconnect with a high school love interest?Featured musical artist: Hollyn ( https://www.instagram.com/iamhollyn/?hl=en )Roundtable: Volunteering Where You LiveWhether it’s helping the homeless, being on a neighborhood committee, tutoring, or something out-of-the-box, the options for serving your community are endless. But how do you pick something and actually make it happen? How do you find a great fit that uses your gifting and passions? Our guests share how they volunteer locally and the process they went through to choose great ways to jump in and make a difference. Culture: Make the Most of Your Time (Part 1)For years, Carey Nieuwhof struggled with workaholism, which eventually led to his burnout. After much prayer and recovery, he started budgeting his time and energy, and has seen incredible results. In part one of our conversation, Carey shares lessons from research and his own journey, discussing how to find the time when you’re most productive, why achieving balance in your schedule isn’t the best goal, and insights for eliminating ever-present distractions. Inbox: That Crush From High SchoolHe asked her out in high school and she rejected him. Since then, he’s grown a lot in his faith, and recently started thinking about her again. Should he try to reconnect with her and see if she’d be interested now? Lisa Anderson weighs in.

How to love your extroverted friends, plus a Q&A with author Gary Thomas, and making room for a romantic interest when you have a full life.Featured musical artist: Je’kob ( https://www.facebook.com/iamjekob/ )Roundtable: Understanding ExtrovertsHow well do you understand your extroverted friends? Do you know what makes them tick? Do you celebrate their strengths? Our panel of extroverts shares some of the dos and don’ts of a successful extrovert relationship, so if you’ve ever wondered how to connect with your people-centric friends, you’ll enjoy this conversation. (Also hear from our introverts if you haven’t already.) (https://www.boundless.org/podcast/the-proper-care-of-introverts-episode-727/)Culture: Q&A With Gary ThomasAuthor and marriage expert Gary Thomas is here to answer a variety of questions sent in by Boundless fans. He’ll address topics like boundaries with toxic people, happiness vs. holiness in marriage, how men can prepare for a great marriage, and what humble leadership looks like. He’ll also share both the biggest disappointment and the biggest joy he’s encountered in marriage. Inbox: Making Time for DatingShe’s interested in getting to know someone romantically, but her calendar is already full. Amid her busy schedule and full life as a single adult, is making time for a dating relationship even possible? Lisa Anderson weighs in.

How to love your introverted friends, plus a Q&A with counselor and author Debra Fileta, and what makes a good small group? Featured musical artist: Darlene Zschech ( https://www.darlenezschech.com/ )Roundtable: Understanding IntrovertsHow well do you understand your introverted friends? Do you know what makes them tick? Do you celebrate their strengths? Our panel of introverts shares some of the dos and don’ts of a successful introvert relationship, so if you’ve ever wondered how to connect with your energy-conserving friends, you’ll enjoy this conversation. (Don’t worry, extroverts. You’re up next week.) Culture: Q&A With Debra FiletaAuthor and relationship expert Debra Fileta is here to answer a variety of questions sent in by Boundless fans. She’ll address topics like femininity, maintaining strong mental health, and navigating tricky dating scenarios. She’ll also share both the biggest disappointment and the biggest joy she’s encountered in marriage. Inbox: Finding a Good Small GroupCommunity is essential to living the Christian life well. But how can you find a group of friends who’ll also be a reliable community and a catalyst for growth? Is it best to find a group that only studies the Bible? How deep should the subject matter and sharing be? Does age, life stage or gender matter? Lisa Anderson weighs in.