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Quiet the vuvuzelas for a moment of silence; for only the second time since 1976, the United States soccer team has failed to qualify for the Olympics and will not be going to London this summer. With the United States leading El Salvador 3-2 with seconds to go during a qualifying match in Nashville, Tenn., El Salvador kicked a long shot that bounced off United States' goalkeeper Sean Johnson's hands back into the net, tying the game 3-3 and preventing the Americans from reaching Saturday's semifinals and the 2012 Olympic games. "This is probably the worst feeling I've ever felt in my life so far as a pro athlete," U.S. captain Freddy Adu said. Well get ready Freddy: It’s probably about to get worse. Now the rest of the world’s football fans have yet another reason to make jokes about our soccer skills. Time to start practicing for 2016.

The wife of a U.S. service member accused of massacring 17 Afghans in the dark of night has come to his defense. "It's not him," Karilyn Bales told Matt Lauer on the Today Show. Her husband, Staff Sgt. Robert Bales, is accused of leaving his Afghan army base and murdering 17 Afghan civilians, including nine children. Karilyn Bales said her husband was a "big kid himself," and the thought of him killing children was "unbelievable" to her. Sgt. Bales is currently being held for 17 counts of premeditated murder in a Kansas military prison. His alleged actions have further stoked high tensions between the United States and Afghanistan, where a growing number of people are calling for a full U.S. troop withdrawal. Investigators now believe Sgt. Bales committed the murders in two separate episodes during the same night in March. Karilyn Bales says that her husband displayed no telltale signs of PTSD, and that she doesn’t think anything will change her belief of his innocence.

Justin Bieber is all grown up, and he wants to be your boyfriend. The 18-year-old pop star has reportedly found a little swagger with his latest single, recalling early Justin Timberlake from his Justified days. The song opens with a sparse, thumping beat and kicks into a chorus heavy with R&B-influenced instrumentation, as Bieber promises to "Swag, swag, swag on you." Whatever that means? Bieber fans who have grown up alongside their teen idol may appreciate the more adult tone he's taking on this and other songs from his new album Believe, which hits stores later this year. If he can manage the move from pop puppet to widely loved mainstream innovator and SNL digital short star, the younger Justin will have followed in the right footsteps. But he still has to avoid being torn to shreds by crazed teenage fans.

The Los Angeles County Coroner's office has released an initial autopsy report for Whitney Houston's death, saying the singer drowned after collapsing in the bathtub following a possible heart attack. Toxicology tests revealed Houston had cocaine in her system and that she had used the drug "in the time period just immediately prior to her collapse." Many have wondered if those around her and in her entourage played a part in Houston’s drug problem. Bobby Brown's sister, Leolah Brown, suggested singer and record producer Ray J was to blame for Houston's death, because he was enabling her cocaine use. But Ray J has denied her claims, saying he had no idea Houston was even doing drugs at the time of her death.

As protests continue in Sanford and all across Florida after the killing of Trayvon Martin, Geraldo Rivera dropped by Fox & Friends to place the blame for the incident where he said it really belongs: on Martin's hooded sweatshirt. "I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin's death as George Zimmerman was," said Rivera. "I'll bet you money: If he didn't have that hoodie on, that nutty neighborhood watch guy wouldn't have responded in that violent and aggressive way." Thousands attended a rally in Sanford Thursday, where civil rights leader Al Sharpton spoke, saying, "We cannot allow a precedent when a man can just kill one of us … and then walk out with the murder weapon. We don't want good enough. We Want George Zimmerman in court with handcuffs behind his back." Fox & Friends hosts also seemed to criticize a "Million Hoodie March" earlier in the week in New York that was attended by Martin's parents. More protests are planned for today and over the weekend.

When you get paid for going to the club, how do you avoid the bottle full of bub? Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is struggling with this question, as the Jersey Shore cast member tries to downplay the impact of his rehab stint on future nightclub appearances. Sorrentino has reportedly been battling a prescription drug and alcohol abuse problem that developed from the hard-partying lifestyle of MTV’s most schadenfreude-friendly program. But his club appearances—some of which can mean a six-figure check for The Situation—also escalated his alcohol abuse, according to sources. When he gets out of Cirque Lodge in Utah, will he stay clean? Depends on whether the “GTL”-innovator can rake it in sober. Since the reality star leads an expensive lifestyle, Radar Online reports Sorrentino wants to be sure his biggest source of income—appearing at nightclub parties—isn’t hurt by news of his attempt to get clean. Way to focus on the important stuff, Mike.

Seventy-five years later, could an old photo of Amelia Earhart solve the mystery of her disappearance? Newly enhanced, a 1937 photo taken just three months after the female aviator was lost over the South Pacific may show part of the wreckage of her plane. An object in the water on a beach of an island source of distress signals that year bears strong resemblance to the landing gear of a Lockheed Electra—the aircraft Earhart was famously using to circumnavigate the globe. Nearing the end of her famous quest to be the first woman to circle the world, Earhart was headed to Howland Island for her last refuel before crossing the rest of the Pacific. She never landed. The photo’s subject, which even enhanced is so fuzzy that researchers have jokingly named it “Nessie” after the Loch Ness Monster, is still a strong clue, they say. A 10-day search with sonar starts in July. We’ll believe it when we see some photos taken in the 21st century.

On March 21, 2006, creator Jack Dorsey sent out the first tweet, an appropriately self-focused declaration of boring information: “just setting up my twttr.” It was the modest beginnings of what has become quite the powerful little bird—one given credit for fomenting revolution in Iran and the Arab world, bringing down certain popular American politicians, and spreading nude celebrity photos …140 characters at a time. At 6 years old, Twitter’s 250 million active users and estimated $13 billion valuation has it firmly in the shadow of Facebook’s giant numbers. But the shorthand social network has offered up some pretty unique characteristics, like the ability to break news first and fast, and granting a direct line between regular and famous users. If ad revenue and active user numbers continue to grow, so will this little birdie's wingspan. Just don't tell your parents about it ... being friends with them on Facebook is more than enough.

If Michael Bay has anything to say about it, turtle power now comes from alien planets, not radioactive waste in the sewer. The bombastic movie director is getting lots of heat today from fans of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, for suggesting he may adjust the origin story of karate [[missing word?]] Donatello, Rafael, Michelangelo, and Leonardo in the upcoming remake of the ’90s franchise. Angry TMNT fans got a little backup with the help of Robbie Rist, the voice actor for Michelangelo. In a comment that perhaps matched the quick temper of his old character, Rist suggested Bay was “sodomizing” the story about heroes in the half shell. What’s next? Splinter is a giant chinchilla instead of a rat sensei? April O’Neal is a reality-TV star? At least there’s one thing from the original movie that could use an improvement: Michael Bay will hopefully get a better musical cameo than Vanilla Ice.

After intense public pressure, federal authorities will investigate last month’s fatal shooting of Florida teenager Trayvon Martin. Martin was shot and killed by crime-watch volunteer George Zimmerman, who was patrolling his neighborhood, Sanford, after a rash of break-ins. Zimmerman reported the 17-year-old to 911 as suspicious, but despite being told by police that they would handle the situation, he claims he shot the unarmed teen in self-defense. Tensions are high in the community, and the incident has brought new debate about the state’s “stand your ground” law, which allows people to claim self-defense without retreating a perceived threat. The Department of Justice and the FBI have announced they will "conduct a thorough and independent review of all of the evidence and take appropriate action at the conclusion of the investigation."

Sorry court sketch artists—Mr. Met won't be taking the stand after all. A trustee for victims of disgraced financier Bernie Madoff and the owners of the New York Mets have settled for $162 million out of court. Trustee Irving Picard had claimed that the owners knew of Madoff’s fraud and encouraged thousands of other investments. The owners had countered that like many, they had no idea of Madoff’s fraudulent practices. Jury selection was set to begin in the civil case today. Had the case gone to trial, owners Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz could have been on the hook for over $300 million. Met fans can only hope that after dropping $162 million, Wilpon and Katz have something left in the bank to chase better pitching.

A new video of “Kony 2012” director Jason Russell’s strange rant surfaced over the weekend, showing him pacing naked, swearing, and muttering about Satan on a San Diego street corner. Russell's viral video about the war crimes of African Lord’s Resistance Army leader Joseph Kony has been viewed over 100-million times this month. The director hasn’t been charged for his strange episode on Friday, and the video seems to dispel early reports that he was masturbating in public. But Russel, 33, has been placed in a psychiatric hospital for monitoring. A video posted on TMZ.com and shot from a passing car shows the director in an agitated state, walking back and forth on a sidewalk without his clothes on, directing expletives at the devil, and at one point appearing to applaud. The chief executive of Invisible Children, the organization for which Russell directed “Kony 2012,” expressed his support for the troubled director, saying recent weeks have “taken a severe emotional toll on all of us.” The real question maybe whether Russell’s second viral video this month will rival the view count of his first.

'Tis the luck o' the Irish! With sunny weather and warm temperatures expected in many places this weekend St. Patrick’s Day celebrations will likely be bursting at the seams with merriment. New York City's 251st St. Patrick's Day parade is expected to have a huge turnout this year for its 40-block procession, with attendance likely to top the 3 million spectators and 300,000 marchers who turned out in 2002. But the festivities are promising to be just as boisterous overseas in the motherland. Dublin will have its own celebratory parade, while Belfast boasts a musical performance by the Red Hot Chili Peppers—a band with few Irish credentials, yes, unless you count their ability to party on St. Patrick’s Day.

The trailer for the remake of Dark Shadows, the gothic soap opera that originally aired on ABC in the late 60’s, has been released, and it looks...appropriately campy. As you might expect from a film directed by Tim Burton, Johnny Depp plays the lead role of Barnabas Colins, an 18th century vampire who wakes up in the 1970's to experience a very different world. Other names involved in the project include Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green, and, of course, Helena Bonham Carter. The original Dark Shadows is regarded as a camp classic, and still has a cult following today. Those fans that've loved the show since it ended in 1971 can finally get a little more Barnabas when the new film is released on May 11.

Dwight Howard sure likes to keep it interesting. The Orlando Magic star has led fans and teammates on a wild goose chase of career moves this week, announcing he’d stay with the team, then saying he’d terminate his contract early, then saying again that he would stay in Orlando after all for the 2012-13 season. The decision to leave the only team and town he’s known since he joined the NBA out of high school has been tough for the star center, whose advisers have reportedly been nudging him to leave the Magic early and join the Nets in their new Brooklyn home. “I apologize for this circus I have caused to the fans of our city,” the player told website RealGM.com. “They didn’t deserve none of this.” Howard plans to sign a waiver with his agent sometime Thursday that would keep him in Orlando through next season … unless he changes his mind again, of course!