Little Things Matter

(http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2011/03/iStock_000002176354Life-decisions-201x300.jpg)There’s no denying the fact that our lives are a mirror image of the decisions we make (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/18/our-lives-are-a-mirror-image-of-the-little-decisions-we-make/). Sure there may be a rare exception—such as a major health challenge— but in the big picture of life, we are where we are today based on the decisions we made in the yesterdays. The key to living a happy and fulfilling life is to make wise decisions; decisions about where you live and work; decisions in how you treat and interact with others; decisions about how you spend money and handle difficult situations. But perhaps the most important of all is where you are leading your life. Where are you going? What do you want your life to look like five years from now? Ten years from now? Twenty years from now? Are you going drift with the tides or are you going to determine where you want to go, strap on a 200 HP motor, and start moving in that direction? Like many people I know, I am trying to get clear on what I want to do with the rest of my life. I have achieved all my major goals thus far; so now I have to figure out where I want to go from here. As part of my soul-searching process, I have answered ten important questions I think everyone should ask of themselves. Regardless of your station in life, you will benefit from answering these questions. Perhaps they will confirm that you are on the right track. Or, they may open your mind to opportunities you haven’t previously considered. They may reveal the missing link in your quest to find happiness (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/07/01/happiness-is-a-choice/) and fulfillment in your life. Finding clarity and direction for your life 1.  What is important to me today? Start by identifying what’s currently important to you. To find the answer, simply look at how you spend your time. This is evidence to you and everyone watching your life as to what appears important to you at this point in time. 2.  What should be important to me? Once you examine the activities that fill your days, you will begin to realize some activities contribute more positives to your life than others. For example, time spent watching TV or surfing the web compared to time invested in relationships, personal growth, or worthwhile projects. It’s time to do some soul-searching and make a list of the things that are truly important to you. 3.  What do I want my life to look like? When you look 5, 10, 20, or 30 years into the future, what do you want your life to look like? What do you want to be doing with your time? Where do you want to be living? 4.  What do I want my days to look like? What type of daily routines would you enjoy? From the time you get up to the time you go to bed, what do you want the typical day to look like? 5.  What would I enjoy the most? Let loose and make a list of everything that fills you up inside. What excites you? What energizes you? Where’s your passion? Keep writing until you are done. 6.  What are my greatest strengths? If your family and friends were asked to describe your most impressive attributes, what would they say? What do you do better than others? What distinguishes you? What makes you stand out from the crowd? 7.  In what areas do I have extensive knowledge? In what areas have you spent the most time? Where would you say you have more knowledge than most people? 8.  What’s the greatest value I offer to the market? Make a list of every skill, talent, and ability you have; then put a dollar value next to each one. Your goal is to identify where your personal services offer the highest value to the market. 9.  How much money do I want to make? If you are looking to make a major career decision (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/20/how-to-make-critical-decisions/),

(http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2011/03/iStock_000009451992Workplacetips-300x227.jpg)Put yourself in the position of the owner of your business or the leader of your organization. What qualities would you look for in the employee whom you would advance within your management structure? If you had to lay people off, what type of person would you release? What type would you keep? Now put yourself in the position of the employee. How would your employer rate your services? The fact is it’s the “little things” you do and don’t do that have a direct impact on your raises, promotions, and influence within an organization. The way you are viewed will not only impact your success at your current place of employment, but it will also affect the recommendations and references that follow you if you leave. Here are 15 “little things” that will increase your value to your employer and make you stand out as a person who takes pride in your job. Become an Employee of Influence 1.  Arrive Early and Stay Late. Arriving promptly at your designated start time and then hurrying out the door the moment your workday ends tells management your job is not your priority. You’ll make a positive impression if you arrive early and don’t rush out the door at the end of the day. 2.  Skip occasional breaks. As a business owner, I was always impressed with employees who would work through their breaks when we had deadlines to meet. Their actions told me they realized the urgency and importance of completing the task and were willing to voluntarily forgo their break to get the work done. 3.  Take pride in how you dress and groom yourself. If you want to be taken seriously at work, start with your appearance. This applies to Fridays, too. If management is not dressing down on Fridays, follow their lead and remain in professional dress on Fridays. 4.  Leave your personal life at home. You may have a close work friend in whom you confide when you're having personal difficulties, but don’t let the word spread about your personal problems. Also avoid communicating with your family and friends during the times you are being paid to do your job. 5.  Be upbeat and friendly. For most of us our workplace is our home-away- from-home. As you go through your workday make it a point to keep your energy levels high, acknowledge people, and be friendly. Be known as the person who always has a positive attitude. It will make for a better work environment for everyone. 6.  Cut the constant chit chat and do your work. Maybe it’s just me, but I have a hard time with people who can’t keep their mouths shut when they should be focusing on their work. I have an even harder time when I am the one paying them. 7.  Avoid speaking poorly of your co-workers. If your workplace really is your home-away-from-home, then why speak inappropriately of your co-workers? Speaking negatively of your co-workers will not only damage your relationships, but it will undermine your credibility. Instead, be the voice of encouragement, praise, and support. 8.  Take pride in your written communications. Everything you type or write as an employee of a company is not only a reflection on your personal brand, but it’s also a reflection on the company’s brand. 9.  Strive for excellence in your work. Be responsible and make sure you complete your responsibilities on time with excellence, even if it requires that you take some projects home. 10.  Keep your workplace clean. No matter how much stuff seems to keep piling up on your desk, do your best to keep it organized. If someone’s workplace is messy and disorganized, why would they be any different? 11.  Respond to emails after business hours. I am always impressed with people who check and respond to their business emails during non-business hours. It tells me they take their work seriously. Upper level management knows who’s contributing during non-business hours. 12.

(http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2011/03/iStock_000015509165.STOP_-300x265.jpg)Do you keep agreeing to do tasks you don’t have time to do? Do you allow people to interrupt you at their whim? Do you allow your children to ignore your requests? Do you allow people to treat you with disrespect (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/03/16/to-earn-respect-you-must-show-respect/)? If you want to experience less stress (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2011/01/25/33-ways-to-reduce-and-prevent-stress/), enhanced relationships, improved health, and better time management (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/11/09/time-management-tips/), then you must learn to set boundaries. Learn to take control of your life. When you don’t stand up for yourself and set boundaries, negative things happen: people take advantage of you; life becomes chaotic; you feel abused; your strong self-esteem fades away; and you struggle to find joy and fulfillment in your life. Here Are 12 Responses You Can Use to Set Boundaries With . . . 1.  An angry person. You could say, “You are a valued customer, but I will not tolerate this type of verbal abuse. If this is how you are going to treat me, I need to hang up the phone.” 2.  Callers phoning you at home during your family time. “From 6:00 until 8:00 is the time I have allocated to be with my family. If you call during that window, I will return your call after 8:00.” 3.  Family or friends who often interrupt you at work. “I want to honor my employer during the hours I am being paid to do my work. Unless something is an emergency, please text me and I will call you during lunch or after I leave the office.” 4.  Your children texting their friends during family time. “Our family time is sacred. When we are spending time together, please leave your phones in your bedrooms.” 5.  People who ask you to accept additional tasks. You could say, “While this organization and the people in it are very important to me, I can’t make any new commitments until I fulfill my current list of responsibilities.” 6.  Someone who is being disrespectful. “I value you as a friend, but I cannot continue in this relationship if this is how you are going to treat me.” 7.  Your parents who keep prying into your personal affairs. “Mom and Dad, I love you, but I respectfully ask that you not continue to probe into my personal life.” 8.  An adult child who is always asking to borrow money. You might say, “I love you and want the best for you, but I will not be loaning you any more money. It’s important that you take responsibility for your own finances and learn to live within your means.” 9.  Someone who keeps commenting on your weight. “I appreciate your concern for my weight and health; however, I ask that you please stop making critical comments about my weight.” 10.  A person who makes sarcastic and cutting comments. You could say, “I don’t know if you realize it, but your sarcastic comments are not kind, considerate or respectful. If you value our relationship, I ask that you stop making those unnecessary jabs at me. 11.  Your co-workers or colleagues who are constantly interrupting you while you’re working. “When there is something you would like to discuss with me (unless it’s an emergency) let’s schedule an appointment to talk via _____(email). This will allow me to focus on my work and to give you my full attention during our scheduled appointments.” 12.  Your spouse or business partner who is making decisions without you. You could say, “I admire your ability to quickly make decisions; however, when those decisions impact me, I would appreciate being included in the decision-making process. Is that fair enough?” Other boundaries could include such things as refusing to accept calls while you are with other people, taking time to exercise regardless of how busy you may be, putting a limit on the time you will spend watching TV,

(http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2011/02/iStock_000012435514I-Care-about-you-look-copy.jpg)Rapport is the process of building an amicable relationship—an emotional bond—between people based on trust, understanding, and a ...

(http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2011/02/iStock_000002904548non-verbal-200x300.jpg)You have no doubt heard the proverb—Actions speak louder than words. It’s true. Your body is a crucial part of communicating your inner feelings. Of course, we can’t communicate ideas, thoughts, and plans without words. However, the way people interpret those words is tremendously influenced by our non-verbal communication. In her research, Dr. Isa Engleberg (Professor of Speech at Prince George College) has suggested that between 60 and 70 percent of all meaning—understanding—is derived from our body language. What is body language? It’s a form of non-verbal communication consisting of facial expressions, eye movements, gestures, and posture. Here are a few examples: * Face: smiling shows happiness; frowning shows disapproval. * Eyes: attentive gaze shows interest; rolling the eyes shows disgust. * Gestures: nodding the head shows agreement; tapping fingers on table shows boredom or impatience. * Posture: leaning forward shows eagerness, acceptance, or interest; slumped over shows discouragement. The messages we send through these expressions and gestures play a key role in people’s interpretation of the words we speak, strongly influencing how we are viewed. John Locke, a British philosopher of the 1600s, said, “I have always thought the actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.” In today’s lesson I want to focus on the destructive consequences of unattractive body language and the negative messages we send based on our uncontrolled feelings and emotions. If you wish to communicate well, then it makes sense to understand how you can (and cannot) use your body to say what you mean. What we see consciously To quickly grasp the importance of this subject, consider these comments that co-workers have said. What body language signaled this response? What inner emotion was each person experiencing? 1.  “He certainly got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” 2.  “I guess she didn’t get the sale yesterday.” 3.  “He must have stayed out partying last night.” 4.  “What’s she in such a huff about?” 5.  “Wow! He looks like he’s just been run over by a truck.” All of these attention grabbers had a negative impact on how co-workers viewed them. What we register sub-consciously The intriguing side of body language is that what we see affects us at the subconscious level as well—meaning that we notice things intuitively without stopping to consciously think about them. What makes this disturbing is the fact that the signal we give off through our body language creates lasting images of who we are and it influences people’s opinions of us without a conscious thought. If you harbor hard feelings or have a bad attitude, you don’t need to wonder if people know. They do and it never reflects well on you. If you are pouting because your idea wasn’t accepted, you can be assured that everyone in the office knows and it’s impacting their judgment of you. The messages you allow your body to give off not only influence how you are viewed at that very moment but, when repeated over time, play a significant role in the way your brand is etched in their minds. As an example, if something doesn’t go your way and your body language tells everyone you’re upset, people quickly detect that you’re displeased. If you appear this way every time something doesn’t go your way, then you will likely be viewed as a “big baby,” “a spoiled person,” or “Mama’s boy.” On a positive side, if you handle a challenging disagreement without appearing rattled, then people will think, “I’m impressed by the way she handled that situation.” If you continue to control your emotions and body language, then you will become known as someone who’s in control of your actions and behavior. Recognizing destructive body signals

(http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2011/02/iStock_000003733681Meeting-etiquette-300x199.jpg)Meeting with groups of people is something we all experience. Whether it’s board meetings, business meetings, office meetings, chur...

(http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2011/02/iStock_00000226277worry2-300x199.jpg)This is lesson #48 from my book Little Things Matter (http://www.littlethingsmatterbook.com/), 100 Ways to Improve Your Life Today. If you are like most people you probably spend more time worrying than you should. Worrying about job security, project deadlines, health, shrinking budgets, rising taxes, the housing market, world poverty, our children’s safety, even the weather. Some things we can control, others we clearly cannot. The key to maintaining a positive attitude in life is to know the difference. I heard years ago that 92 percent of the things people worry about are beyond their control. If you are troubled about something you can control, like whether you are going to lose your job, then step up your game. Come in early, stay late, offer to work on a weekend, or volunteer to take on additional responsibilities; do anything you can think of to increase your value. If you end up losing your job, you can bet you’ll get a better reference. If you are concerned about your health, exercise regularly, eat a well-balanced diet, and refrain from smoking. On the other hand, if you find yourself worrying about something like the safety of your son or daughter serving in the military, whether the government is going to raise taxes, or whether the coming storm will deluge you with rain, understand that there’s no action you can take to make any impact on these events or circumstances. You cannot control these things; worrying about them will just cause stress and affect your overall attitude. In the long term, worrying about what you can’t control puts your health, happiness, and longevity at risk. LTM Challenge Make a list of the things you worry about. Divide that list into two categories: 1.  Concerns you can do something about 2.  Concerns beyond your control Beside each of the items you can control, include an action item. For instance, if you worry about the ten pounds you’ve recently gained, put together a plan to do something about it. If you’re concerned about an impending deadline, make a list of all the things required to get the project completed. Make a commitment to attack everything within your control and be intentional about not worrying about the things you can’t. At first, you’ll find it hard not to worry about the things you can’t control, but if you use self-discipline and refuse to worry about them, it will become easier. One of the traits of positive people is that they don’t worry about things they can’t control. Click here to visit the site and/or comment on this post. (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2011/02/17/dont-worry-about-what-you-cant-control/) About the Author: Todd Smith (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/about/) is a successful entrepreneur of 30 years and founder of Little Things Matter. (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/) To receive Todd’s lessons, subscribe here (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/referral-subscription/). All Todd’s lessons are also available on iTunes as downloadable podcasts. (http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/little-things-matter/id349111555) (Todd’s podcasts are ranked #22 in America’s top 100 podcasts (http://www.podfeed.net/feedburner_rankings.asp) and #1 in the personal and development field.) Related Posts: It’s A New Day! (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/11/its-a-new-day-2/) How to Quickly Deal With Discouragement (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/09/07/how-to-quickly-deal-with-discouragement/) Our Lives are a Mirror Image of the Little Decisions we Make (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/18/our-lives-are-a-mirror-image-of-the-little-decisions-we-make/) How Likable are You? (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/01/25/how-likable-are-you/) Count Your Blessings (http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/02/22/count-your-blessings/)

(http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2011/02/iStock_000012505328presentations.XSmall.jpg)If you are growing and advancing your life, there will be times when you need to give a presentation. A presentation is not limited to the times you stand in front of a group of people. It also includes conference call presentations, conference room presentations, one-on-one presentations, and even written presentations. One of the ways to stand out among your peers and competitors and increase your value to the market is to learn how to prepare and deliver effective presentations. Years ago I took a class on public speaking by Bert Decker Communication (http://www.decker.com/).  It was an exceptional experience that is still vivid in my mind today. During this training, the key elements of effective presentations were discussed. Since then I have added a few more points to my checklist that I review before EVERY blog post I write and every presentation I give. I open this document and answer these 10 questions. Once these questions are answered, I piece together my presentation. Ten questions to answer as you prepare each presentation 1. Who’s my audience? When communicating with a new audience, identify them. Who are they? What’s their profile? Why should they care about what you have to say? The more you learn about your audience, the more you can connect with them. 2. What’s my goal? Write ONE sentence describing the goal of your presentation. Make sure you are crystal clear on what you want the audience to take-a-way from your comments. 3. What’s my Point of View (POV) on the subject? Write ONE sentence clearly describing your point of view on the subject. This is your position on the topic. 4. What are the benefits to my audience? Make a list of all the benefits your audience will enjoy if they act upon your message. People need to understand the positive results they will experience if they do what you propose. 5. What’s the downside if people don’t act? Some points can be made more effectively if you point out the downside risks of not heeding your advice. As an example, people know the benefits of being on time, but pointing out that being late is considered as being rude, irresponsible and disrespectful, may be more effective. 6. What are my main body points? Prepare an outline of the major points of your speech or document. Drain your brain and list everything that comes to your mind. After you have everything listed, organize it. 7. Can I find appropriate quotes and supportive information? If there are sources that can be used to add credibility to your presentation, include or list them. 8. Is there a story that I can use to communicate my point(s)? If there is a relevant illustration or anecdote that can be told to make your point memorable, include it. 9. What’s my call to action? What action do you want your audience to take? Have you noticed my call to action at the end of all my lessons, both on my blog and in my book (http://www.littlethingsmatterbook.com/)? 10. What would be an encouraging statement? Is there a positive and encouraging statement that would be appropriate to use in the conclusion of your presentation? I always like to end on a high point. If your presentation is in a written format, have it edited. No matter how good of a writer you are, having someone you respect edit your work will likely improve it. When you are invited to make a presentation, accept the challenge. The times in your life when you grow the most are when you push yourself outside your comfort zone to do what you’ve never done before. I can still recall my first group presentation 21 years ago. I scripted out what I wanted to share word for word and practiced it in front of a video camera. Even though I was so nervous my underwear stuck to my butt, my preparation and practice allowed me to give the best presentation I was capable of giving at that time.