Hard Cash - Hard Pass

Summary: <p>When you must put your slowly dieing career into the dumpster forever, the fast path is to team up with Christian Slater in a crime-caper. A band of bozos get caught in an dirty FBI sting and must steal all the gold for themselves...and they only thing stopping them is their own idiocy.</p> <p>We'll start by saying that this ALMOST has something. There's bookends of banana business but that squishy look-warm middle bit drags it back into the depths of quite not interesting. Despite it having the worst produced car chases, worse than SNL rear-projection, Verne Troyer in a toilet with a dart-gun, Val Kilmer giving his belief in his characters one last try, and Bill Forysthe in a washing machine, there's just not enough fun here to put it in the do column.</p> <p>It's almost like it doesn't know what it wants to be - either a screwball bumbling crime gang movie or a hard-boiled heist movie with lots of betrayal and twists. </p> <p>And then there is Jose. At 3 points in time, an apparent unrelated passerby becomes either "comedy" or a very strange and unclear metaphor. If someone could explain Jose to us, we'd be grateful.</p> <p>Sadly, we must say - do not.</p>