Rethinking the Place of Praise and Rewards in Parenting: A Thought-Provoking Discussion with Author Alfie Kohn
Summary: <a href="https://www.alfiekohn.org/bio/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"></a>As parents, most of us think of frequent praise – and maybe an occasional material reward for good behavior – as essential tools in helping our children build self-esteem and develop the positive behaviors we want them to have.<br> <br> <br> <br> But this week’s Mom Enough guest, <a href="https://www.alfiekohn.org/books/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">author</a> <a href="https://www.alfiekohn.org/bio/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Alfie Kohn</a>, takes strong issue with praise and rewards, contending they undermine children’s intrinsic motivation, lead to reliance on extrinsic reinforcement and reduce generosity. Mr. Kohn goes on to challenge the pervasive focus on children’s behavior rather than their needs and motives, offering some practical, effective alternatives to praising and rewarding good behavior. Mr. Kohn’s many articles and books, including the bestselling 1993 <a href="https://www.alfiekohn.org/punished-rewards/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Punished by Rewards </a>(released recently in a 2nd edition), have prompted countless parents and educators to reconsider praise and rewards. Listen to what Alfie Kohn and Mom Enough hosts Marti & Erin have to say in this lively conversation.<br> <br> <br> <br> What did you think of Alfie Kohn’s arguments against using praise and rewards to try to make children behave the way you want them to? Think of a parenting situation in which you’ve used praise. What could you have said and done instead that would have focused on your child’s needs, motives and the intrinsic rewards that might be more likely to lead your child toward the qualities of kindness, respect and responsibility?<br> <br> <br> <br> Related resources:<br> <br> <a href="https://www.alfiekohn.org/articles/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Articles</a> by Alfie Kohn<br> <br> <a href="https://www.alfiekohn.org/books/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Books</a> by Alfie Kohn<br> <br> <a href="http://momenough.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Accountable-for-Behavior.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Teaching Children to Be Accountable for Their Behavior and Choices</a> by Marti Erickson
