Summary: -This post contains affiliate links-<br> Transcript<br> <br> Last week, I took my two older kids to a birthday party at a laser tag place. My oldest, who is usually super friendly and bubbly, was terrified. It was rough because she was SO excited about this party and was looking forward to it all week! I can see why she was so scared. The place was noisy and flashy, and other than the birthday girl, and her brother, she didn't recognize anyone else.<br> <br> The birthday girl’s mom had not arrived at the party yet, and her dad, whom we had never met, was the one running the show. He was very busy so I didn’t get a chance to meet him before my daughter burst into tears. It was kind of alarming since she had been so excited to come. She told me it was very different than what she had expected. I waited with her for a little while. I didn’t want her to miss out on this because I knew she would seriously regret it. As much as she was upset now, I knew she would be even more upset if she passed. Especially if her brother still went, and came back with a happy report.<br> <br> I knew I needed to find the adult in charge and make myself known to them. I went up to the birthday girl’s dad and asked if he was indeed her dad. I shook his hand and pointed out my kids. I tried to connect with him over the noise and convey to him the fact that my daughter was kind of upset, but he was too busy. My daughter calmed down enough for me to leave her there which was a relief. I knew she was going to have so much fun!<br> <br> When I came back to pick her up, I was so relieved to find out that she had indeed had a blast! Then she told me the story of how it happened. She was super nervous at first. It was such a new experience. During the first round of laser tag, she was still pretty apprehensive. But then, during the second round, a guest’s mom was there and told my daughter she would help her and they would play together. She got over her fear, and learned to play laser tag.<br> <br> In the book "Hold on to your kids", by Gordon Neufeld, I learned exactly what had happened in this situation, one reason my daughter had been so scared, and why the mom at the party was so important.<br> <br> Our children need to receive their orientation about the world from trusted adults. Ideally those adults are their parents, but sometimes, many times, that is not possible. They are often gone all day at school. We are gone all day at work. But, kids need a trusted adult to mentor them because the alternative is peer orientation which is like the blind leading the blind. I won’t go into detail about that here, you’ll have to read the book. So how can we keep our kids oriented to a trusted adult.<br> <br> 1: When you have to separate, transfer their orientation to an adult you trust. This is why I knew I needed to meet the birthday girl’s dad. If her mom had been there, the trust has already been established, so my daughter would have had an easier time transitioning. I do this a lot with my toddlers when they need to go to nursery at church. I talk to the teachers and smile at them. I might touch their shoulder and show my child that I trust this person and that I know they will take good care of them. I introduce my child to the adult and let them get to know them.<br> <br> This would work with any situation where you need to drop off your child. Meet their teachers. Talk with them. Let your child see that there is an adult they can trust and look to for direction, protection, and guidance.<br> <br> 2: When you need to separate for a long time, like going away for a trip, call them each day, FaceTime would be even better. Send them notes. My husband and I are going on a trip, and we are going to leave their sitter with videos of us talking to them and telling them stories about them. Do the kinds of things that let them know that even though you’re apart, you still care,
