Summary: My life has been a roller coaster around friendships. I learned early on about rejection. Family friends were the way to go when I was little, but then during elementary school, it was all about BFFs. I had a close friend for three years, and then she actually dumped me in middle school. It was rough. I spent the rest of those middle school years virtually friendless. I lived right next door to my school, so I got a laminated pass to go home for lunch where I would spend the hour snacking and watching the A-Team. <br> <br> Things changed again when I got into high school. Kids who knew my older siblings took me under their wing, and I became a band geek (only not totally geeky since I played the drums), and my confidence grew. Through my junior and senior years, I had friends in all sorts of groups, mostly because I hated cliques and I refused to join one. I remained somewhat charismatic beyond high school.<br> <br> When I got home from serving a mission for my church, I had few reservations. My true charisma shined, and a friend even described me as having an "electric personality." I could be friends with anyone, and I made it my goal to make anyone I met feel welcome and accepted. I was enthusiastic about life, and loved meeting people. This was probably the happiest season of my life to date.<br> <br> When Michael and I got married, we thrust ourselves into a crazy transition. We were newly married for one whole week when we moved across the country to go to school. It took us a good six months to recover from that. But, we were given assignments at church that brought us out of our shell, and we loved feeling valued and connected.<br> <br> Then, ten years ago we hit our crisis mode. We'd moved into a new area and struggled to make deep connections. Noelle talks about this in the episode, that the hardest times to make friends is during a transition. We were in severe transition when shortly after we moved, we started having children. For the eight years we lived in that area, we made few deep friendships. I had a falling out with my very closest friend in the world, and it was an incredibly lonely time. Michael and I grew very close as a couple, but we have always struggled with this missing element in our lives.<br> <br> Having friends is crucial. I discuss the important of friendship in my 30-Day Coping Challenge how important friendships are to our ability to be resilient. Friends help us cope with our insecurities, they help us resolve our conflicts, and lend a compassionate ear. They help us feel acceptance, and grace. They are there to make us laugh, or to vent, or to coach us through a rough time.<br> <br> When we value friending in our family culture, we teach our children what it means to be a friend, how to make friends, we model friending for them, and we are consistently making our friends a priority in our lives. Don't underestimate the importance of our friendships!<br> <br> Why I'm vulnerable about friending<br> About Noelle<br> Noelle's inspiration for starting her podcast<br> Grown-up friendship is no joke<br> Why is friendship so important?<br> Why is it so hard to make friends?<br> The antidote to shame is connection<br> Busyness is belief that we are important. We need to give that up to make room for our friendships.<br> Be invested in your people<br> How to make friends when you don't want to<br> Have the courage to be disliked - to take the chance on people to like you, or not.<br> What demographic has a harder time making friends?<br> Look for our similarities rather than focus on our differences<br> Noelle's advice for people who have anxiety or depression, or are introverts, for making friends.<br> Friending and family culture<br> Be practical when teaching kids how to make friends. Be specific about exact behaviors that make friends.<br> Dealing with your kids' friendship struggles<br>...
