Summary: Oh, honey. Yesterday I hit a snag and then the skids after receiving a bit of inconvenient news—nothing catastrophic, mind you—but the way the rest of my day went, you'd have thought it was the end of pretty much everything that ever was. Already beat from a long stretch of work and more work, and feeling brittle as an old bone, I was in no mood. And yet, yesterday felt like I was nothing but moods. This is the other side of feeling every feeling and not denying the occasional slap of emotional waves when they roll in: sometimes it's just not cute. Being available to our feelings doesn't have to mean coming completely undone in the process. As a kid I remember feeling so sensitive to criticism that I learned to respond by vowing to never to put myself in those situations again. Sadly, my options were limited—I could shut down and swallow what I felt, I could attempt to be perfect and beyond reproach, I could blame someone else, or I could cry foul. Each choice was a brick in the wall I erected around me. My young self couldn't bear that crushed feeling of knowing I’d displeased the people whose praise I wanted most. Yesterday took me right back to, and through, that experience. Between you and me, I don’t care much for calisthenics. Put me on the hiking trail or the running path; let me loose in the Zumba room and I’m good for hours. Jumping, crunching, and flailing, though: no. If I’m to do any of it, I need a coach or a partner to see me through. Especially when it comes to holding a pose. You know that part of the crunch when the trainer yells, “HOLD!” while you lie there trembling in a pool of your own sweat? Well, that’s where I take today’s inspiration. Getting stronger isn't always about transitioning smoothly from one state to the next. Indeed, some phases hurt like hell and we fall backward no matter how far along, evolved, or strong we think we are. Sometimes we can’t help but let other people see us sweat. And that's a good thing. Yesterday’s rollercoaster seemed downhill most of the day and believe me when I tell you how much I wanted off. I was at my edges and I knew it. Here’s what's so good about growth and practice: there’s an inherent agreement between us and them that keeps quietly urging us on. We may wince and whine, and still they wait for us to come humbly to the mat and HOLD long enough to break us down a little bit at a time. The facade is often the first to go. Providing we don’t give up, we return again to the discomfort; we make ourselves available to the process; we grow. - - - - - - - You might also like: Good Energy Tip: Arrive! Simply Contagious Hammer Time
