Summary: My friend Erin Diedling is a gifted trauma therapist, clairvoyant, and matchmaker and who better to chat with about matters of heart and soul around Valentines Day? In her own words, at the core of everything she does, she connects people to themselves, to their hearts and to their community—the global community. ∞ ∞ ∞ I've always been networking people and matchmaking—whether it's with a love, or a job, or internship or volunteering opportunity, It's naturally something I've always done on the planet. I noticed that Valentine's stuff was up before Christmas was even over. On Christmas Day I was in a Walgreen's and they were already putting up the Valentine's stuff, and I was like, Are you kidding? I think the important thing is that you always have a relationship with yourself first, so what you can do is give a big smooch to the media pressure and say, I see you, I've got my eye on you, I know you expect me to be a consumer because it is consumerism we're talking about. I know you expect me to buy the roses and the dinner or buy the flowers or whatever and it's important to acknowledge the pressure there, but you don't have to respond to it. A fun little cognitive thing you can do in response to outside pressure is to feel that pressure and say, I love myself. And just feel it. Because you're always in relationship with yourself, whether you're in a partnership or entering into a partnership, or exiting one—even if you're between partnership—there's always you. If you're looking for the soulmate, I would start with desire. What is it you want to feel with the soulmate? What is the experience you want to have with the soulmate? How do you see that for yourself? Are there activities? Is there a location? Is there a way of being or a form of communication you want? There might be a laundry list of things. I'd say make the list. Not the list of things, but the list of ways you want to feel. For example, I'd really like it if my partner was spiritual, or If I'm going to partner with someone, they have to believe in energy, or in God, or they have to be positive. They have to have an abundant way of being in the world. Things like that. Here's why desire's so important: A lot of people who don't have great examples of positive relationships—or those who've been in a whole lot of shitty relationships—they might not know what it is they desire. Who you are, what you desire, and what makes you tick might not have been a priority in your upbringing, and this could be my own experience coloring my worldview, but a lot of times when I'm working with a client whose desires were not honored in the upbringing, they might not know what it is they even want. You could ask them what they want and they just lock up because they have no idea. To attract what you want, you might want to know what you want. Give the universe some direction, because the universe would love to deliver it! And—allow for some surprise. I had some huge insights around type recently. Having a type isn't necessarily a bad thing; it can help you work your issues out and learn something about you. I went back home for a visit recently, and there was this guy I not get over for years and years. I was like, 'How could someone I was so nuts about and so attracted to, who talks a good game—wind up making me so wrong in the end? Like, eight million shades of wrong? How did I miss that? I was home for ten days, by the way—a long friggin time to be living back in your parents' home, right? I had a lot of time with my mom. You know how little kids are so in love with their parents? Well, I thought my mom was perfect—the way she brushed her teeth was the coolest thing, and her great shape in a swimsuit was like a celebrity, her mini cheesecakes were perfection! But she didn't thinks so, so I was wrong even back then. I wanted to wear summer clothes in the winter and it was wrong, and I wanted to wear things that didn't match,
