Podcast 42 ? Can You Really Change Your Unwanted Sexual Behaviors?




Candeo - Porn Addiction Recovery show

Summary: Is ?real? lasting change actually possible? What are the signs and the evidence that you?re truly changing your unwanted sexual behaviors? work online from home Written Transcript of the above Podcast Hi, this is Candeo Co-Founder Mark Kastleman. To Order levitra online day I want to talk about the process of change. You may be wondering, “How will I know when I've really changed?” “How do I know I'm making true change and not just stuck in another avoidance cycle or control phase?” Or as one Candeo Student put it, ?I've been working hard in the program and wondering when I'll know that I've really changed?? As you can imagine, here at Candeo we get these questions a lot, both from our Students and their spouses or partners. Of course, there are no specific answers that fit every person or situation. But the process of developing real and lasting change is accompanied by certain attitudes and behaviors that will tell you you're on the right path. First, if are going to talk about the signs of true change, then of course we have to talk about the human brain. When I hear someone ask the question, ?How will I know if I'm changing?? my first response is, you are always changing. The human body and brain are all about change. For example, every minute 30 to 40,000 dead skin cells fall from your body and approximately a month's time your body is made all whole new layer of skin. Every minute, 300 million cells in your body die and are immediately replaced with 300 million new cells. And when it comes to the human brain, change is constant. Every piece of information that we take in through our five senses from the world around us alters our neural connections; every thought changes our brain circuitry. So, by our very makeup we are built for constant change. So the question is not ?Am I changing?? but rather ?How am I changing?” Throughout the candidate training, we constantly talk about the fact that the human brain is ?neuro-plastic,” meaning that is moldable and shapeable. Based on the thoughts that we consistently allow to dwell on the stage of our minds, and the behaviors we repeatedly act out, we literally ?build our own brain circuitry.” If we have an unwanted sexual behavior circuitry that has been built over time, we can shrink that circuitry and replace it with new healthy behavior circuitry. This is what the candeo programming tools are all about ? molding and shaping the brain so that over time we can acquire the life and relationships we desire most. So, we know by our very nature that we're changing all the time. But how do we know if we're changing for the better; if we're overcoming our unwanted behaviors and moving forward on our desired path? Some of you might be thinking, ?Oh come on Mark, it's not that complicated. You know you've changed if you stop doing your unwanted behaviors.? Whether we realize it or not, change isn't that simple. We build unwanted behaviors over years or decades of repetition, and then expect that we can change those behaviors overnight. Change is not a single event ? it's a process, a journey where we learn, grow and evolve over time. And when we measure our success solely on whether or not we have completely eliminated an unwanted behavior from our lives, we deprive ourselves of the wonderful experience of recognizing and celebrating all of the little successes along the way. In essence, when we focus only on the desired destination, we miss much of the miracle and wonder of the journey itself. What are some of the the signs of change?the evidence that someone is really changing? Keep in mind that the following is not meant to be a comprehensive list of all the signs of change. These are some of the leading indicators of change that will help you determine where you are on your own journey. Use this as an opportunity to discover and celebrate your successes and to identify areas where you [...]