Summary: Sexual selection can be found throughout the animal kingdom. Frequently, it can go well beyond the simple “dudes smash their heads together until there’s a winner” model. In order to figure out exactly what’s going on in the sex lives of some species, scientists will get a little creative with their techniques. When researchers get a hunch about traits that are animal turn ons and turn offs, those poor critters’ sex lives might be in for some cruel tinkering. To prove their theory, biologists aren’t afraid to play Nip/Tuck or Frankenstein. Ladies and dudes of all species might get transformed from a shining Adonis to Jaleel White, or vice versa. It might seem cruel, but simply making observations and crunching the numbers can get boring, even for scientists. 1. Bower Birds The Species: If you’ve learned anything from MTV’s Cribs, it’s that you’ll never make nearly as much cash as Lil Bow Wow did during his brief stint on the cultural radar. Also, having a royally “pimped out” pad is pretty awesome. Some members of the animal kingdom have already figured this out, particularly bower birds. While males from our species head to Crate and Barrel or IKEA to make their place more boning-friendly (or “home-y” as the ladies put it), the male bower birds do all their work by hand. Er, beak. Whatever. The elaborate digs these guys make out of woven vegetation are studded with basically anything shiny or interesting they can get their feathers on. And they’re not just trashpickers, they’ll aggressively steal anything they can carry if it looks cool enough. The females then strut on up to their bowers (whenever they bloody well feel like getting around to it) and institute a mandatory inspection. The males also put on a display while they are being judged, much like any generic dance club on your typical Friday night. The fellas with the best bower-related displays get the girl, simple as that. The Makeover: Well, not quite simple as that. See, scientists hypothesized that lady bower birds had a weakness when it comes to decor. Instead of scented bath soaps or decorative pillows, they prefer “Solanum” berries. Males with more berries covering their bower were observed to have greater mating success than those with less. The real bling-bling. So researchers went ahead and added extra berries to some of the dudes’ bowers, even though they refused to add extras when given the opportunity (i.e. provided with extra piles of solanum). The number of mates the males got didn’t increase too significantly, but there was another interesting side effect. It seems that males pretty much only use as many berries as their social status will allow. You know how in the movies when the protagonist talks to the pretty girl, the alpha jocks just beat the stuffing out of him? This is pretty much the same idea. The bigger, more dominant males don’t take kindly to utterly flamboyant berry displaying and would try their best to destroy lower status bowers if they got too flashy. Yeah, like a feathered George McFly, without a time travelling son to fight his battles. 2. Guppies The Species: Since guppies have neither big fuzzy hats, nor shirt collars to pop, the ladies do their judging based on how pretty the guys look. The males have vivid coloration that signals that they’re ready, willing and able to mate. Flashy colors are a popular mechanism for attracting mates in the animal kingdom, or at a bar if you choose to take advice from a pickup artist who goes by the name “Mystery”. The original “peacock”. Maybe he got the “pea” part wrong, though. This type of coloring isn’t an outrageous way to pick your man when you’re a fish in the wild. Being brightly colored comes at a significant cost to males. It’s taxing to produce, meaning weaker males that are less able to acquire food or ones more susceptible to disease and parasites end up being duller in color. Brighter males are also more likely to get picked off by predators, meaning th[...]
