Conflicting Conflicts Ep 11
Summary: One of the biggest items in a marriage is very important in a relationship. This is something that can actually help a marriage grow stronger. Fights, arguments, heated debates, or discussions are all lumped into one. Now there are differing levels of fights and some fights should be avoided, but a good bellowing shout fest does and will happen from time to time. This is because a fight relieves pressure that has built up for sometime. Now fights do a few things one is lets the couple know that they are not on the same page and there is a slight adjustment needing to be made. These adjustments can be good for the couple or they can hurt. It all depends on whether both sides are playing fair or not. How to fight fair First off no Low Blows these are dredging up the past and throwing it in the others face. The past is gone. It is not going to do anybody, any good, being dug up. So leave past crimes where they are. Focus on the problem at hand. Next timeout are great for when the argument is getting very heated and no traction is being made. Some people call it 5 by 5 or Step 5 feet away for 5 minutes. Grab the dog, who is cowering under the coffee table, and take it out for a walk. Come back to the problem after 30 minutes to an hour, you will see a difference and maybe even a solution. This also give you time to come up with an "I'm Sorry". Yes Say you are "Sorry" for whatever the infraction is. It helps to start building a fresh layer of love,when foundation has been fertilized with a healthy helping of Humility. From here you can get a lot more done. Yet when the discussion starts back up don't jump in with an accusation of "You". You start out with the word you and the fight will not be fixed come up with a way to say what the problem is without accusing.