SiF # 86 - The 30 Day Sex Challenge

Summary: Download the show Product Review: Nexus series Prostate Stimulators Not feeling like you are getting enough intimate attention from your partner? Change it all in 30 days. Consider challenging your partner to have sex with you every day for thirty days whether you are in the mood or not. You’ve got too much on your plate at work, the kids need baths, the microwave oven is broken and the last thing you want to do is summon enough energy to have sex. You don’t feel sexy and frankly you’d rather fight with your partner than kiss. But why? Kissing is always more fun than fighting and sex always makes you feel better than shopping for a new microwave. If this sounds like you, you may be suffering from an oxytocin deficit and the solution may be as simple as reminding yourself that you enjoy regular sex. In the same way that regular exercise makes you feel good through the production of endorphins, this challenge will also cause you to create feel-good chemicals. Don’t expect to lose much weight. Instead expect to gain intimacy, energy, and a general sense of well-being. According to one woman who tried the challenge with her partner, “We both felt happier. It felt like it was easier to kiss and hug and gaze into each other’s eyes.” This woman is describing the effects of oxytocin, a natural hormone that is released when you fall in love and have orgasms. It makes you feel good and producing it in large quantities seems to make people want to cuddle. It is the way your body rewards you for being intimate. The more intimacy you have, the more you will produce. The more you produce, the more you’ll feel like having sex. Having sex or not having sex presents a cycle of continued behavior. It is up to you to decide which way to steer your relationship. It is no secret which direction is more fun. After all, sex is fun. Preparing for the challenge If you are one of those couples who has been having sex once a week or less for the past couple of years, ramping it up in this fashion is going to be no small task. Even if you are having it much more frequently, you’ll still need to face at least a few issues that you may have not dealt with before. Define what constitutes sex Making out for five minutes isn’t a bad start but to gain the full benefits of this challenge it is important to realize that sex involves arousal, climax and resolution. This means that it is important for all involved to get off. It doesn’t really matter if you do this orally, manually, vaginally or anally. An added benefit for fluid bonded couples is the sharing of other feel-good chemicals found in semen. While masturbation may fulfill some of the requirements of the challenge, it won’t create intimacy with your partner in the same way as sharing sexual acts together. Making the time Many couples blame time constraints for their lack of sexual intimacy. You’ll soon discover that there is little difference between planning your day around sex and planning your sex around the day. When you commit to this challenge, you are establishing that sex is a priority and it may need to come before lesser duties. Many couples will need to be creative and plan on a few mornings, later evenings, and a nooner or two. Take-out is your friend throughout the next thirty days. Doing it through the flow Neither sleet, nor snow, nor blood will keep the sex from being delivered. The heterosexual relationships that are still in their baby making stage of life will need to bone through their periods to complete this challenge and this can be a good thing. Many couples avoid intimacy during tampon time and sadly, this may be when many women need intimacy the most. Sex during menstruation is completely safe for healthy participants and may even decrease negative menstrual symptoms. Many women may discover that this is their most arousing time of the month. For other women, they may discover a whole series of emotions that come forth when they partake in sex during their period. Explore thes