Not Alone Today Podcast

In this episode, we reflect on the previous year and the transition into a new year. We discussed the following among others: ✥ Highlights of 2022 ✥ The merits and demerits of making new year resolutions ✥ Daily Audio Bible Chronological (https://player.dailyaudiobible.com/chronological) ✥ The concept of naming a new year ✥ A warning against distraction You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

This is a 6-in-1 special episode bringing together over two hours of Relationship Content from the Not Alone Today Podcast. For easy navigation, here's a guide: 0:00  ⏩  1. Help! I Don't Like Who God Wants Me To Marry  19:07  ⏩  2. Marrying a Pastor  45:14  ⏩  3. Becoming the Right Person While Waiting for the Right Person 01:12:40  ⏩  4. The Audacity of Marrying on a 'God Said' Basis 01:30:15  ⏩  5. Being Sure of Who to Marry 01:51:47  ⏩  6. Am I Ready for a Relationship? You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

In today's episode, we respond to Chika's question sent in from Lagos, Nigeria. Here's her question: "What do you do when you try to work out your relationship with other people and it seems like the more you try to 'express' who you are, they keep misunderstanding?" We discussed a few possibilities for Chika's consideration including but not limited to: ✥ The possibility that God may be teaching Chika some patience ✥ The possibility that Chika may be surrounding herself with the wrong inner circle ✥ The possible flaws in Chika's attempt to "express who she is" ✥ The possibility that Chika may be unpacking the gift of 'not fitting in', which is often a prerequisite for a call into PIONEERING one form of ministry or the other. For more on the last point, we mentioned the works of Jonny Baker who has written a lot of insightful materials on the gift of not fitting and pioneer practice as a whole.  You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

In today's episode, we respond to Betty's question sent in from East Africa. Her main question goes thus: "Pastor, I need your help. I've been married to a man I believe is God's will for my life for a couple of years. However, I have observed in recent times that my husband lies to me and hardly apologises! There are so many decisions we make as a family but sometimes he goes against them and, in turn, lies to me instead. I am so fed up. I feel it's not healthy for me, especially as we are currently expecting our first child. To be fair to him, he had previously confessed to me that while he was growing up, he never felt loved because both his parents passed on while he was still very young. However, the fact that he lacked any significant parental love while growing up seems to be affecting him in marriage. It also meant that he didn't grow up with a model of what a man does to his wife. Sometimes, when I am feeling down and in need of his support and encouragement, he doesn't know what to do. Yet, I feel like I need him sometimes to show me that he's concerned or understands how I feel, but he doesn't seem to care about it. As for me, I grew up around both my parents, so I am here battling in my mind about how I think "he's supposed to do this and that" or "this should come naturally to him" but those things are not happening. I am confused and need your help." We discussed this in the episode, among other things, an exposition on 1 Peter 2 and 3 while also offering some practical insights into Betty's question. You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

In today's episode, we respond to Helen's questions. Her main question goes thus: "What can you say about a single lady who is waiting and working because she is not sure that it is time for her to get into a marital relationship yet? She is willing to walk according to divine timing; she is working on discovering herself, acquiring useful skills, working on her character flaws, maximizing her God-given potential, and receiving training on 'the art of authentic ministry.' Meanwhile, as she is doing all these things, proposals keep coming from Christian brothers; what should she do? I believe that some people see this kind of 'waiting' as being 'seemingly foolish' while some would tag it 'a fear of commitment' or 'fear of being vulnerable in a marital relationship'; perhaps, some would even call it 'pride.' Is this so, sir? What if such a person feels so strong about this inner perception of hers (to take her time and do all these preparations BEFORE getting into a relationship)?" We discussed this in the episode. Meanwhile, her other question came up in her mind while reading Echoes: Life Lessons from an Online Village (Joseph and Anu Ola's latest book). Helen wanted to know if Anu's fears prior to consenting to the beginning of her relationship with Joseph played a part in her waiting for almost 4 weeks before responding positively to Joseph's marriage proposal. To this, we pointed her to previous episodes where the reasoning behind this was already well discussed. See the following past episodes: S1E03 - Pre-Courtship, Courtship, and Pre-Wedding FEARS S3E01 - Being Sure of Who to Marry S1E27 - Becoming the Right Person While Waiting for the Right Person S1E28 - The Audacity of Marrying on a 'God Said' Basis Our response to Helen's questions welcomes us to Season 4 of the Not Alone Today podcast. You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 ALSO MENTIONED ✥ Echoes: Life Lessons from an Online Village (Volume 1) - http://viewbook.at/echoes FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

"What are your thoughts on how young moms can manage money in their marital context?"  That's the summary of today's question. It is the concluding part of Tunde's question which we began responding to in our previous episode (S3E04) on balancing the roles of a wife, young mom and career person with one's spirituality. Here's Tunde's question once again: "3 ladies who just got married have been struggling with balancing their spiritual life with child care, marriage and career. They wish they could get back the experience of their pre-marital days when they were able to maintain consistent spiritual growth by engaging in spiritual disciplines which they no longer seem to have time for. They all had their first child within their first year of marriage—just like Anu—and so I will like to ask her, how did she manage in those first few years of her married life? Secondly, how can these young mums also manage money concerns in their marriage?"  Joseph and Anu reflected on the question and Anu shared various tips that worked for her (and continue to work for her). She drew her approach from Proverbs 14:8 (see also Proverbs 13:16) and also explains why, in her own context, she chose to pull all her income into a common purse with Joseph (while acknowledging that the same approach may not work for everyone). Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 BIBLE REFERENCES ✥ Proverbs 14:8 NKJV - "The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, But the folly of fools is deceit." ✥ Proverbs 13:16 NIV - "All who are prudent act with knowledge, but fools expose their folly."  FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA S3E04 - https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/38126580/s3e04-being-a-mom-and-being-you-finding-the-balance https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

"How can a young mom balance spirituality, childcare, marriage and her career?" That's this week's question in a nutshell. Today's question comes in from Tunde who sends a voice note to ask a question based on his recent interactions with 3 of his friends (all ladies) who share some things in common. In summary, here's his question:  "3 ladies who just got married have been struggling with balancing their spiritual life with child care, marriage and career. They wish they could get back the experience of their pre-marital days when they were able to maintain consistent spiritual growth by engaging in spiritual disciplines which they no longer seem to have time for. They all had their first child within their first year of marriage—just like Anu—and so I will like to ask her, how did she manage in those first few years of her married life? Secondly, how can these young mums also manage money concerns in their marriage?"  Joseph and Anu reflected on the question and Anu shared various tips that worked for her (and continue to work for her).  Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 BIBLE VERSES REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE ✥ Ecclesiastes 7:10 NIV - "Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions."  ✥ Habakkuk 2:1-3 NIV - "1 I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint. 2 Then the Lord replied: “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. 3 For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA Are You Called to Write? (My Story): 7 indicators to discern if you are called to write - https://www.josephkolawole.org/post/are-you-called-to-write https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

THE QUESTION: Today's question comes in from a listener who asks, "Do you ever worry about whether someone—or many people in fact—might have written about what you have in mind to write about?" Joseph and Anu reflected on this from their writing and publishing experience. Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA Are You Called to Write? (My Story): 7 indicators to discern if you are called to write - https://www.josephkolawole.org/post/are-you-called-to-write https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

THE QUESTION: Today's question comes in from Tejire, a young lady who has been in a godly courtship with the man she's truly and fully persuaded to be God's will for her life. However, as the wedding day draws nearer, it's been one challenge from her family or the other. She's feeling depressed from the various issues that are popping up (mostly pertaining to the wedding plans) so she reached out to ask how she could shield herself from allowing those issues to get to her. Joseph shared his initial thoughts to her on the day she reached out drawing some prophetic insight from a hymn titled "We Shall See The Desert As a Rose" and Anu shared her more practical thoughts that help put Tejire's scenario in perspective. Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

THE QUESTION: Today's question comes in from Ire, a young lady who feels a bit fearful being faced with a dilemma regarding her choice of a life partner. She asks, "How do I hear from God (regarding who to marry) when my heart is full of fear?" The backstory is elaborated upon in the episode. BIBLE VERSES REFERENCED 2 Timothy 1:7 TPT - "For God will never give you the spirit of fear, but the Holy Spirit who gives you mighty power, love, and self-control." Psalm 32:8-9 TPT - "I hear the Lord saying, “I will stay close to you, instructing and guiding you along the pathway for your life. I will advise you along the way and lead you forth with my eyes as your guide. So don’t make it difficult; don’t be stubborn when I take you where you’ve not been before. Don’t make me tug you and pull you along. Just come with me!”" Isaiah 28:16 JUB - "Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD, Behold, I lay in Zion for a foundation a stone, a tried stone, a precious corner stone, a sure foundation: he that believes shall not make haste." Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 RESOURCES REFERENCED 1. S1E02 - How Do I Hear From God? - https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/3ea611af/s1e02-how-do-i-hear-from-god 2. S1E03 - Pre-Courtship, Courtship, and Pre-Wedding FEARS - https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/dbfdea73/s1e03-pre-courtship-courtship-and-pre-wedding-fears 3. S1E11 - Help! I Don't Like Who God Wants Me To Marry - https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/d08a7110/s1e11-help-i-dont-like-who-god-wants-me-to-marry 4. S1E28 - The Audacity of Marrying on a 'God Said' Basis - https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/1bffc5c3/s1e28-the-audacity-of-marrying-on-a-god-said-basis 5. Is This Opportunity From God?: 7 Checkpoints for Discerning Divine Opportunities - https://paystack.com/buy/is-this-opportunity-from-god FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

"How can you help a younger believer who is addicted to masturbation when previous intervention doesn't seem to be effective?" That is the summary to the interesting question we responded to in this episode. It comes in from Bimpe who asks,  "Sir, please I need your counsel on a matter. There's this girl myself and [my fiancé] are discipling who is addicted to masturbation. I shared with her #Unaddicted. We read it together and encouraged her [but] she's still deep into the act. How else can we help her sir? (Plus we've prayed with her!) Thank you sir." Welcome to this special episode of Not Alone Today Podcast. It's our ANNIVERSARY EPISODE! It's been ONE YEAR since this podcast began and we are grateful to God for the journey so far. We began the episode by reflecting briefly on the TOP 5 EPISODES (the episodes that had been listened to the most) before diving into the question for the day. The resource Bimpe mentioned in this episode is a book I wrote in 2019 titled #Unaddicted: Finding Freedom from Sex-related Addictions (link below).  Anu and I discussed this by reemphasising the fundamentals of victory in managing any negative addiction: by taking our focus off of the act and viewing our sanctification process more holistically. God is not only after your victory over ONE particular sin; He wants you to enjoy your victory in Christ over ALL sins. What will this look like? Have a listen to the episode to find out more. BIBLE VERSES REFERENCED Romans 6:14 (NKJV) "For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace."  Hebrews 4:15-16 (VOICE) "For Jesus is not some high priest who has no sympathy for our weaknesses and flaws. He has already been tested in every way that we are tested; but He emerged victorious, without failing God. So let us step boldly to the throne of grace, where we can find mercy and grace to help when we need it most." Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 LINK TO GET THE REFERENCED RESOURCE: #UNADDICTED https://paystack.com/buy/unaddicted  ANOTHER RESOURCE FROM JOSEPH ON "OVERCOMING NEGATIVE ADDICTIONS" https://youtu.be/Slod3hIfekM FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

"What if someone is addicted to sharing godly and edifying posts on social media?" That is the summary of the interesting question we responded to in this episode. It comes in from Bisi who asks,  "Sir, I have a question for your wife. I remember in one of the previous podcast episodes that I listened to, she spoke about how that when she has gotten certain godly piece of information, she's quick to share them on her social media handle. Like, for example, she sees an edifying post and then gbam! She has reposted it even before the quote “blesses” her. I’m finding myself in the same situation and it’s making me “addictive” to posting (godly and edifying) posts on my social media page -- WhatsApp especially. My question is: How can I control this sir? Thank you sir." The episode Bisi is referring to is Season 1 Episode 9 - Lessons From the Pandemic (link below).  Anu and I discussed this by reemphasising the need to understand the PURPOSE and PRIORITY with regards to how we use social media. We emphasised the need to first be truly BLESSED by a piece of knowledge (and this can take days, weeks, months or years!) before going on to share that knowledge from a lived-experience perspective. We asked, "What is the point of pointing people to a place you are not willing to go?" Mark 3:14, for example, says that Jesus ordained 12 disciples "that they SHOULD be with him, and that he MIGHT send them forth..." In other words, the primary purpose is to fellowship with The Truth (Jesus), and if He so chooses, He MAY send us to others (through sharing and the likes). Anu offered some practical tips, including taking time to let what the Holy Spirit is teaching you simmer in your heart before sharing the same, and considering using a different platform that will force you to "STOP and THINK" before you post or share. BIBLE VERSE REFERENCED Mark 3:14 KJV "And he ordained twelve, that they should be with him, and that he might send them forth to preach." Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 LINK TO THE REFERENCED EPISODE (S1E09 - Lessons From the Pandemic) https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/episode/20748a44/s1e09-lessons-from-the-pandemic FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

In today's episode, Anu and Joseph both reflect on some highlights from their time in the Word in the past week. Anu zoomed in on different aspects and prayers from the life of David as recorded in 1 Chronicles while Joseph reflects on a conversation between Jesus, Peter and John in Luke 22.  BIBLE VERSES REFERENCED 1 Chronicles 21:8; 22:9; 29:10f  Luke 22:7-13  Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

"If the lady I'm convinced God wants me to marry has a bad attitude and character, should I still go ahead?" That is the summary to the interesting question we considered in this episode. It comes in from Zachaeus who asks, "Please sir, there's this question I'd love to ask as well as seek clarity from you with regards to marriage/relationship. If God is leading me in the direction of a lady as my wife-to-be (God's will) and such a lady has a bad character and attitude, am I permitted to go on with such relationship?" We discussed this by drawing Zach's attention to further reflect on some of the assumptions in his questions and we also shared from our own experience to give further perspective on Zach's interesting question.  BIBLE VERSES REFERENCED 1. Proverbs 18:21 HCSB "Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." 2. Luke 6:45 NKJV "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." 3. Proverbs 18:22 NKJV "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord." Click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share. ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/ ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506 FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/

Have you ever felt disappointed by God? The question we responded to in this episode comes in from Henry who asks, "At those times when you felt disappointed by God, what were the things you did to keep you going and to still trust in God?" We discussed this by sharing some personal case studies of times we have felt such an emotion and the practical steps we took which boosted our confidence and continued trust in God. BIBLE PASSAGE REFERENCED Romans 5:1-5 MSG RESOURCE RECOMMENDED Waiting Compass: Finding God When He Seems to Delay available at https://paystack.shop/josephola and on Amazon at https://mybook.to/waitingcompass FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA https://linktr.ee/josephola https://josephola.disha.page/