Keeping Records show

Keeping Records

Summary: In 1977, NASA sent the Voyager into space with two records known as the “Golden Records.” On them were recordings of notable historic music, evocative nature sounds, and murmurs from contemporary life, all used to paint a picture of humanity and the world at large. Things have changed a lot since 1977, so Caleb Hearon and Shelby Wolstein are trying their hand at an update. They're talking with comedians, musicians, and the like about what they would include on their own “golden record” if a new one were sent today. Songs, images, films, and moments are all on the table in this comedic reflection on art, media, and culture.

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 Billionaire Mindset w/ Liva Pierce | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:55:22

Caleb and Shelby have a sit-down with writer and comedian Liva Pierce to talk about their hopes, dreams, and personal choices of artifacts to send to outer space so that aliens may one day come to understand what life on Earth was like at its zenith. Of COURSE there's Kate Bush. Of COURSE there's delicious food. You KNOW there are human social practices on there, and musicals. IT'S. ALL. THERE. Enjoy, aliens. Shelby and Caleb are also extremely uncooperative when role-playing. Liva's Artifacts"The Big Sky" by Kate Bush (song)A hot cookie (food)When a coworker shares personal information (human social behavior)Debriefing a party with funny friends whom you love (human social behavior)Any production of Newsies (audio-visual)Original Voyager ArtifactCathy Rigby, Phillip Leonian (photograph)Follow Liva on Twitter and Instagram! Follow Benito on Twitter and Instagram and listen to him and Mary Beth Barone on their podcast Obsessed. Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via See Privacy Policy at and California Privacy Notice at

 The Pretty Committee Strikes Back w/ Benito Skinner | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:04:38

Actor. Comedian. Writer. Icon. Benito Skinner is on the pod and he's here to show the aliens (or any other beings who might find the record, he does not discriminate!!!) more than just pop culture—he wants them to feel the passage of time. Groundbreaking albums go from panned to adored. Musicians put on amazing performances and are shunned. TV-shows run 100 episodes without heeding any stop signs. Meh clothing becomes a uniform. And The Lion King goes from being an animated film, to a live Broadway musical, to The Lion King with 3D-rendered, lifelike animals voiced by an all-star cast, just because we can. Benito's ArtifactsA compact disc of ARTPOP, Lady Gaga (audio)Nicki Minaj's performance of Roman Holiday at the Grammys (audio-visual)The Riverdale pilot episode and then one from Season 5 (audio-visual)A Gucci belt (human ephemera)The 2019 remake of The Lion King (audio-visual)Follow Benito on Twitter and Instagram and listen to him and Mary Beth Barone on their podcast Obsessed. Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via See Privacy Policy at and California Privacy Notice at

 Defending Rubbernecking w/ Marcella Arguello | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:01:38

Caleb and Shelby welcome stand-up comedian Marcella Arguello into the Headgum family the only way they know how—by getting into a Dick Feud with her. TBQH it's mostly Shelby's feud, with Caleb instigating and causing chaos from the sidelines (as he does). And all this happens around building Marcella's Golden Record, which has iconic TV, iconic music, iconic GIFs, iconic nails, and iconic toddlers. Marcella's ArtifactsRihanna GIF where she rolls up the car window (visual)Mariah Carey, Butterfly (audio)Seinfeld (audio-visual)A hug from a toddler who thinks you’re the coolest person on the planet (multisensory experience)Press-On nails (human ephemera)Follow Marcella on Twitter and Instagram, watch her comedy live, and listen to her and Niccole Thurman's new Headgum podcast The Scroll Down. Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via See Privacy Policy at and California Privacy Notice at

 I Take Being Silly Seriously w/ Geoffrey James | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:04:29

I...don't know what to say about this one. Actor, writer, and fellow Headgum podcaster Geoffrey James is on the show and What even happened here? Mayhem, tattoos, heavily reused bits from last episode, our hosts and guest are absolutely depraved this episode. Geoff's ArtifactsWhen someone with acrylic nails scratches your back during a personal low (multisensory experience)Pretty. Odd. by Panic! At the Disco (audio)Feeling pride when buying something specific at a hardware store (human emotion)Aioli (multisensory experience)Making a friend feel bad about almost getting in a car accident for way longer than is fair (multisensory experience)The 10-minute underwater scuba battle in Thunderball (1965) (audio-visual)Follow Geoff on Instagram and Twitter, and listen to him on The Headgum Podcast and Review Revue! Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via See Privacy Policy at and California Privacy Notice at

 The Importance of Being Earnest w/ Mitra Jouhari | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:02:38

Shelby is ill and will NOT stop giving sex eyes. Caleb is in Portland and surviving the heatwave. It’s up to comedian, writer, and actress Mitra Jouhari (Three Busy Debras, Big Mouth, High Maintenance) to educate the aliens, and she’s created a Golden Record designed to showcase the pinnacle of entertainment on Earth. Mitra’s ArtifactsPretty Little Liars (audio-visual)Lost & Found Music Studios (audio-visual)Countess Luann and other Real Housewives music careers (audio-visual)Galaxy Quest (audio-visual)Gossip Girl (audio-visual)Follow Mitra on Instagram and watch Three Busy Debras on HBO Max! Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via See Privacy Policy at and California Privacy Notice at

 Through Hate Breeds Art w/ Raina Morris | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:00:02

Caleb has fled to Portland. Shelby is sleeping in and doesn't miss Caleb...yet. Comedian and writer Raina Wilson visits with them to prep her Golden Record and it's much stuff! There's software to instruct the aliens on how to take care of humans; details on how to properly care for our skin and hair; how to satisfy oral fixations and stay hydrated at the same time. Raina swears up and down that she's not prepping the aliens for zoo-keeping an exhibit of humans, but truly you will have to decide on what her plans ultimately are. Raina's ArtifactsThe Sims 2 (software)"Beautiful Liar" Beyoncé and Shakira music video (audio-visual)YouTube ingrown hair extraction videos (audio-visual) The feeling of when a hairstylist washes your hair and scratches your scalp (multi-sensory experience)Eating ice (food)A kiss on the lips from someone wearing lip gloss (multi-sensory experience)Follow Raina on Instagram and Twitter! Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via See Privacy Policy at and California Privacy Notice at

 We All Like to Get Choked Nowadays w/ Liza Treyger | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:59:00

Shelby talks about her shaving injury. Caleb is displeased, but also preoccupied with speculative workplace drama. Comedian Liza Treyger almost leaves the podcast early due to the graphic description of Shelby's injury, but sticks it out to ensure her Golden Record is delivered to the aliens. Liza's Artifacts Britney Spears's catalog of MTV Making the Video episodes (audio-visual)Miley Cyrus defending Kennedy Davenport and drag to Joe Rogan (audio-visual) Ludacris, "What's Your Fantasy" (audio) Bojack Horseman (audio-visual) Emma Chamblerain's YouTube channel (audio-visual) Follow Liza on Twitter and Instagram, and listen to That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via See Privacy Policy at and California Privacy Notice at

 MRIs Are Expensive w/ Nori Reed | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:03:34

Caleb has fallen and hit his head. Like a true king he got back up, but now Shelby has the difficult task of convincing him that he doesn't have a brain bleed. Luckily, she has comedian, writer, and actress Nori Reed to assist in assuring Caleb that he doesn't need to seek immediate medical attention. And while Nori's here, why not find out what she'd put on her Golden Record? Absurd reality television, home decor superstores, Italian vistas and Diane Lane, and Normani's magic basketball bum bounce are all heading to space. Nori's ArtifactsThe Swan (audio-visual)IKEA (architecture and multisensory experience)Normani, "Motivation" (audio)Under The Tuscan Sun (audio-visual)Caleb falling and hitting his head during his self-tape (audio-visual)Original Voyager ArtifactRajasthani greeting, "Hello to everyone. We are happy here and you be happy there."Listen to Hot White Heist on Audible, watch Nori's comedy on HBO Max, and follow her on Instagram and Twitter! Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via See Privacy Policy at and California Privacy Notice at

 Snakes Are a Problem For Me w/ A.J. Marroquin | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:59:53

Last week's really devastated Shelby and Caleb. So much so that they're taking some precautionary steps for the sanctity of the pod. Comedian, friend, and breakfast enthusiast A.J. Marroquin mediates our hosts' ongoing negotiations, occasionally sharing his own Golden Record when allowed to. Jennifer Lopez makes yet another guest appearance on the pod, and so do a hell of a lot of snakes. Theme park souvenir photos, cars spiraling down from the heavens, The Golden Corral, all of it is a wondrous backstop for hammering out Caleb and Shelby's dysfunctional functionality. And it is beautiful. A.J.‘s ArtifactsJennifer Lopez's filmography (audio-visual)Saloon-style famkly portraits/theme park souvenirs (image)Breakfast after a hook-up (multisensory experience)Buffets (multisensory experience)The Carvana vending machine (architecture)Follow A.J. and do literally everything in your power to see him do comedy live.TwitterInstagramFollow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via See Privacy Policy at and California Privacy Notice at

 I See Two Holes Right Now w/ E.R. Fightmaster | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:09:15

Actor, producer, and writer E.R. Fightmaster takes great issue with the premise of Keeping Records. And the issue is that the show shouldn't be about educating the aliens on humanity—it's about making the aliens feel how we feel. And that means the aliens need to feel perplexed by CrossFit, electrified by Temptation Island, inspired by the WNBA, and...I actually am not sure what they'll think about the oyster thing. But they're gonna feel something. E.R.'s ArtifactsCrossFit (human behavior)Temptation Island (audio-visual)The WNBA "Wubble" Season (audio-visual)Books about cities (literature)Oysters (food)A text that says “I’m running five behind” when you are really 20 behind (human behavior)Follow E.R. and watch them on Shrill! Also listen to their music released as Twin!InstagramTwitterMusicFollow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via See Privacy Policy at and California Privacy Notice at

 The Doctor Is In w/ Taylor Ortega | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:07:43

Comedian and actor Taylor Ortega (Kim Possible, Love Life, Welcome to Flatch) is crashing on Caleb and Dr. Wolstein's pull-out couch, so why not build a Golden Record? Along the way everyone recounts the trauma of having to go to the bathroom in the woods, and also the trauma of wearing Nike Shocks. Taylor's Golden RecordWet wipes (human ephemera)The Real L-Word (audio-visual)Cute, trendy plants that are easy to take care of (biological sample)Taylor’s group chats (literature)A good nonstick pan (human tool)Original Voyager ArtifactOld Man With Beard and Glasses (Turkey), Jonathan BlairFollow Taylor on Instagram! Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via

 Flirting With Friends w/ Meg Stalter | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:00:34

What begins as a meeting with beloved friend and comedian Meg Stalter immediately devolves into an episode of depravity and psychosis. Shelby leaves the recording, seemingly out of rage. Caleb exposes himself repeatedly. Meg says the c-word. Producer Mike becomes Producer Michael. Quite simply, it's insanity. But, aside from all that madness, Meg's Golden Record is angelic in its innocence. Meg's Golden Record:Girls, Season 3, Episode 7 "Beach House" (audio-visual)Knowledge of Dolly Parton's Existence (audio-visual)Laughing hysterically at a restaurant with friends (multisensory experience)The smell of poolside sunscreen and chlorine (multisensory experience) Realizing you have a crush on someone (multisensory experience)Follow Meg!TwitterInstagramFollow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via

 Who Is This For? w/ Jon Lomberg | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:00:14

You guys...wait...This is huge. Space artist and science journalist Jon Lomberg, co-creator of the original Voyager Golden Record (!!!), joins Caleb and Shelby to talk about his experience putting together humanity's epitaph, which left Earth in 1977. Jon offers his take on aliens, behind the scene stories, and how to comprehend yourself at the scale of the universe. Jon's own personal Golden Record is expansive and comprises as many genres of world music as possible, including (but not limited to):Hawaiian slack key or vocals, like “Ho’olauna Aloha” Teresa Bright from her album Self PortraitCeltic musicMiddle Eastern musicFlamencoInuit throat singingTibetan chantsMusical TheaterMarching BandMichael JacksonAfrojazzK-popWith hypothetical new technology since the original records, Jon would also include Earth's favorite molecules for the ETs, like caffeine and THC, as well as the smell of of roses and the taste of mango. Software like Tetris is on the table now, too. You can learn more about Jon at his website, where you'll find his original artwork as well as links to his lectures and writings. Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via

 Chapstick Lesbian w/ Grace Kuhlenschmidt | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:58:35

Comedian Grace Kuhlenschmidt realizes that her Golden Record is only for her—and that's ok. The aliens will take what they can and leave the rest. But truly, how could they leave the cookies? And she made that cocktail for them, would the aliens dare refuse? They will love quirky, early 2000s pop music. And hopefully the documentary teaches them to not put humans in tiny cages when they conquer us. Grace's Golden RecordHoku and Mandy Moore (audio)Blackfish (audio-visual)Quadratinis (food)Laying in warm grass (multisensory experience)Being tomboy (multisensory experience)Beeresca—a homemade cocktail recipe (food)Original Voyager Artifact"X-Ray of Hand" (image)Follow Grace!TwitterInstagramFollow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via

 You're So Embryonic w/ Negin Farsad | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:52:49

Negin Farsad—comedian, writer, director, host of the podcast Fake the Nation—needs the aliens to experience humanity in a very specific way. And that way is...perfect. Swan dresses, elevated train tracks extending across the Manhattan skyline, trying not to cry when you see something beautiful in public, nouvelle's all there. Except for Plumber's Crack. That's gone, she got rid of that. Negin's Golden Record Artifacts:Anything Bjork related (audio-visual)The Highline in NYC and the thrill of a public works project (architecture)That moment when a concert violinist is playing for free in a park and they play something beautiful and then you cry in public but try to act like you have allergies (multisensory experience)The first time having French food made by French people (food)The Grinder (audio-visual)Knowing you're wearing a cute outfits (multisensory experience)Listen to Negin on Fake the Nation and Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! and follow her socials.TwitterInstagramFollow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via


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