Sextras

There has been a lot in the news and on social media about sexual assault and sexual coercion in the past couple of weeks. Starting with the disappearance of Sarah Everard in London, where we're both from, women have been expressing their outrage at the lack of response from the government and the Metropolitan Police, as well as telling their stories online about the sexual harassment they experience on a daily basis. We wanted to share our thoughts about what has been happening, and tell our own stories of sexual coercion, which we know many women will be able to relate to. We discuss how sexual coercion is extremely common with people in relationships and not, as well as the fact that sexual coercion is so normalised amongst women because of how common it is. An often-asked question is why sexual assault goes unreported, but we wanted to bring light to the fact that because instances of sexual assault and sexual coercion happen so often, most women don't even consider reporting it. This is all a part of the victim blaming that comes along with sexual assault. We also discuss how the word 'no' is received, as well as how women use it, and how women can be scared to resist sexual coercion because of the fear of what that might lead to. Sexual coercion is a part of the larger conversation about sexual assault and rape culture, and how there are countless ways women are pressured and forced into sex or sexual acts that they have not consented to, or feel uncomfortable doing. In order for the conversation to change, both men and women need to do more to acknowledge the countless ways we are complicit in upholding this harmful culture with our silence and hesitation to call people out, especially those we are close to. If you have experienced any form of sexual harassment, sexual coercion, or sexual abuse, we're sorry you had to go through that, and you're not alone. There are so many people telling their stories online right now, but we also want to stress that it is okay to not share your experiences if you're not ready. And to those who have shared, thank you. If you'd like to talk to someone, know that help is always available. Victim Support have a 24/7 confidential hotline (UK based) on 0808 16 89 111 We're sending love to everyone who is affected by sexual abuse, or who feels emotionally drained in the midst of these conversations. Stay safe, look after your mental health, and keep calling people out! We love you, and we'll see you on Tuesday <3

What would life be like without friendship? This week we discuss the beauty of female friendships, as well as reflecting on our own friendship throughout the years; why friendship is important, and how female friendships are different to men and women being friends. We start the episode by hearing what our listeners favourite parts of their female friendships are. As it's Women's History Month we wanted to pay homage to our female friendships particularly, and we also hear moments that our listeners have felt closest to their friends. We then move on to reflecting why we're so drawn to being friends with other girls when we're younger, as it's often easier to relate to other girls, and you don't have to worry about people thinking you have a crush on them (even though we're bi, so the joke's on them, really). When you're at school, friendship can be really difficult as there's so much pressure to be popular and to fit in, and teenage girls are so judgemental and scary. We reflect on how our own friendship has changed, from the amount of friendship groups we've been through, to the ups and downs in how close we've been, as well as the dynamic with friendship and dating and how that often changes how close you are. We have lots of ideas about how friendship should be, and that's why it can hurt so much when you're not as close anymore, especially when going to university or going through big life changes. We've always said we're soulmates, but actually a lot of patience and caring has gone into our friendship, and what's made us close, more than anything, is that we've always been there for each other and come back to one another throughout our 8 years of friendship. To end the episode, we tackle the ways male and female friendships can be different to our female friendships, concluding that there's value in both. Friends are so important. They influence our decisions, motivate us, and are always there for us when we need it most. Friends become family, but the best part is you get to choose your friends. If you haven't found your people, don't worry, we've been there and we know how hard it is to go through a friend breakup, but if you know what kinds of people you want to surround yourself with, you will find each other! It's not about how many friends you have anyway, it's about valuing the ones you do have. We hope you enjoy the episode! Don't forget to send us your confessions for our submissions-only episode: you can do this anonymously via our website or send us an email sextraspodcast@gmail.com with a voice note or your written story! Follow us on: Instagram: @sextraspodcast, Facebook: Sextras Podcast, www.sextraspodcast.com, and leave us a review or a rating, and subscribe! We'll see you next week <3 Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam

In honour of International Women's Day 2021 we thought we'd dedicate an entire episode to women who inspire us. We begin the episode by hearing who our listeners' female role models were growing up, and who their female role models are now. We then discuss how our role models have changed throughout the years, what role models' qualities are and why role models are important. There are so many inspiring women, and maybe we should not only choose role models who have overcome adversity, but also broaden our ideas of who are good role models and what role model characteristics are. Yes, being a leader and being brave make a good role model, but for some their role model might be someone who is open about sex our challenges our ideas of what makes a respectable woman, too. Role models influence our lives in so many ways, particularly when growing up, and that's why having good role models for girls is so important. If we see more female politicians we might actually start to believe we can be a politician and aspire to be, and if we see women being open about their sexuality like Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion, we might start to think that being open about our sexuality is healthy and normal. There are so many inspirational women today that we are spoiled for options, all we have to do is find them. We hope you hear about some inspirational women you've never heard of, or maybe never thought of as role models, and you learn that role models can be so many things: a parent, a spy, an activist, a model, or a rapper. Keep celebrating women, and keep sharing women's stories! Happy Women's History Month 2021! If you'd like to find more of us, you can do so on: Instagram: @sextraspodcast Facebook: Sextras Podcast Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com Website: www.sextraspodcast.com Don't forget to send us your stories and questions for our upcoming episode. Our anonymous submissions page is: https://www.sextraspodcast.com/confessions or you can DM us on social media or email us with your stories or voice notes! We can't wait, see you next week! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam

A patriarchy is a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it. The bad news is, we live in a patriarchy. And what are the effects of the patriarchy? In this weeks segment we asked how the patriarchy affects your daily lives, from from being able to wear certain clothes, to being told to ‘smile more’, to being too scared to travel alone. We discuss how much we relate to a lot of daily occupancy of inequality, and how sad it is that we do. There are many problems with the patriarchy, and infinite ways it shows up in our daily lives. Some things are more deeply engrained: like the emphasis on female beauty standards and expectations that negatively impact women’s self perception and self worth. Other issues are more about what women are taught- to be polite, to be mothers, to be submissive- and the ways in which we adopt these roles ourselves. Touching briefly on family dynamics, we talk about the examples we were set growing up, and the kinds of future we could have when we were older, as well as how perhaps we have internalised sexism, limiting ourselves and our capabilities. We talk about how the patriarchy even affects our sex lives, although perhaps sometimes it won’t seem like a feminist issue or like something that is a result of the patriarchy, like finding it difficult to say no to sex. However, we establish that it impacts everything, especially the way men and women interact. We break down some of the pressures that we felt sexually with men that perhaps we haven’t felt with women, and how with men we fall into a position of submission. Ultimately, even though the patriarchy fucks us in many ways every day, we understand that in order to break all of these systems down we need to ourselves be aware of our misogyny and call men out on theirs. Let’s start now, this Women’s History Month. And let’s go and SMASH the patriarchy!! We hope you're enjoying the podcast, and if you are please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser. It means to much to us! Don't forget to subscribe, and you can find more of us on: Instagram: @sextraspodcast Facebook: Sextras Podcast www.sextraspodcast.com Or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com Otherwise, we’ll see you next week! Produced by Mable Productions Original Music by Sacha Puttnam

So many people don't have a sex life at the moment. Around the world, lockdowns have left people unable to fulfil their sexual desires, and for many women this has meant they struggle to feel sexual at all. This week we discuss what it's like when you're in a sexual dry spell, hearing from our listeners about what the longest they've gone without sex is and how they broke the dry spell. We discuss how long is too long for us to go without sex, and what is considered a dry spell, deciding that it's different for each person depending on how often they have sex normally. We then give some advice about how to manage your dry spell in quarantine, as well as how to end a dry spell if you're not in lockdown. Having a dry spell in a relationship before quarantine was bad enough, but with the added fact that so many people are in long distance relationships, or going through a dry spell after a break up, it's that much harder to stay sexually active or connected to your body, basic human needs and physical needs. Self pleasure is so important, so we encourage you all to try to stay connected to your eroticism in some way, even if you're in lockdown! Dry spells for women are particularly hard because it's so damn hard for us to feel aroused when we're not having sex with anyone, but you can do it! Get a stash of sex toys or flirt with that guy you like over text! We hope you're enjoying the podcast, and if you are please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser. It means to much to us! Don't forget to subscribe, and you can find more of us on: Instagram: @sextraspodcast Facebook: Sextras Podcast www.sextraspodcast.com or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.com We'll see you next week! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam

This week, Morgan Doman, a life and clarity coach joins us to talk about saying no, how people pleasing affects our lives and relationships and how to set healthy boundaries. Sometimes it is hard to know how to set a boundary, or even to know there is a boundary to set at all. Morgan talks us through some ways to go around setting boundaries, as we discuss some of the boundaries that you guys have set in the segment, or boundaries you want to set. We talk about physical boundaries, like being touched, or hugged without warning, and the importance of consent, as well as knowing how to set boundaries with friends when you start feeling like their therapist. We discuss attachments styles and how recognising your attachment style might help you understand what boundaries you might need to set. Morgan tells us about her experience as a recovering people pleaser who helps people pleasers break out of those habits for a living. We talk about how we're not really taught that we can say no, and so that why we struggle setting boundaries sometimes. Especially as women it can sometimes be hard to know how to say no, or feel pressured to say yes, so Morgan advises us to try to start practising saying no to small things, so you are able to when it matters. We all admit it's hard to set boundaries, often the boundaries we need to set are for ourselves, or within ourselves, and that's the hardest part. Sometimes, when someone sets a boundary it can feel like rejection or an attack, when in reality they are trying to make the situation healthier and better for everyone. Be brave! Go set those boundaries! You can find Morgan on instagram @morgan.doman and read her blog on her website [www.morgandoman.com](http://www.morgandoman.com) ! You can find more of us on: Instagram: @sextraspodcast Facebook: Sextras Podcast Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com Website: www.sextraspodcast.com We hope you enjoyed the episode, don't forget to subscribe, review and share! We'll see you next Tuesday. Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam

For some people, Valentine's Day is overrated, simply an excuse to spend money and say 'I love you' for the sake of it. For other's, it's a day filled with magic, when love fills the air and it feels like we have all the time in the world to set aside for the people we love. On this week's episode, we talk about the things we love about Valentine's Day, like the fact it's a day completely set apart for love. But we also talk about the things we don't like, how a lot of pressure can build around the day leading to stress and disappointment. During COVID, the expectations surrounding Valentine's Day look a little different: we can't go out, a lot of people can't even see their significant others, some people may feel even more so isolated. But there are a lot of ways to make the day still feel special. In the segment this week, we share some ideas on what to do for Valentine's at home, like picnics and blanket forts. It might even be as simple as getting your favourite food delivered. If you're not with your partner, you could facetime and eat at the same time. And if you're single, you can spend it with your flatmates or your friends. Valentine's Day can people feel even more 'single' or alone, when the day is really about love, of all kinds, and that includes friendship. We talk about some of our Valentine's Day stories and experiences, and note that some of the best Valentines were those spent with friends and memories with parents, and some of our bad ones are when we actually had a valentine. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if someone is going to kiss you this Valentine's or not, because we all have a Valentine somewhere, and that is anyone we love! Happy Valentine's Day you beautiful people! We love you! Show us love here: Instagram: @sextraspodcast Facebook: Sextras Podcast Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com Website: www. sextraspodcast.com

This week we're joined by Bing Fraser, who attempts to provide us with some insight into the male psyche. We begin the episode with some questions our listeners have for men, such as 'when does sex end?' and what sex feels like for a man. Bing explains the male anatomy to us and explains the best thing a girl can do is to have fun and be fun. We then move on to hearing how Bing came to be a sexual being. He tells us the story of how he got over his fear of rejection, and we speak about how society often teaches men that they must be masculine, which doesn't really give them many clues, but not really how to flirt or how to have good conversations, which can have a major impact on their confidence and self-esteem. Bing tells us his tips for how to get laid, as well as some more stories from his upcoming book 'Unprotected Treks.' Thank you so much to Bing for teaching us some more about what it's like to be the male of the species, we got some invaluable insight. If you want to buy Bing's book you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08R3KBNMF, and you can check out his website www.bingfraser.com or instagram @kingbingfraser for more. You can find more of us on: Instagram: @sextraspodcast Facebook: Sextras Podcast Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com Website: www.sextraspodcast.com Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam

In this week's episode we discuss a very curious phenomenon: the ick. Where does the ick come from? No one knows (although we theorise it might be a manifestation of your intuition telling you to *get away* from that person). Here on this podcast we're terrified of the ick and the power it holds over us. You can get the ick in a long-term relationship, or even when you're dating, and there's no knowing if if the ick will, or *can*, go away. We begin the episode by speculating how to describe the ick, and how it's different to simple turn offs and annoyances in dating. We then go on to a segment where we hear what gives *you* the ick, from people actually liking you back, to someone trying tooand tell our own ick stories. We try to dig deeper to understand what the ick really is and why we get it, but conclude that, ultimately, it is intangible, and laugh and how ridiculous the reasons for the ick ending a relationship can be. The ick is real!! Don't underestimate it's power- you could get the ick for anyone and everyone, and there's no reversing it once you acknowledge it. It will soon be downhill from that moment on. We hope you enjoyed the episode, and we appreciate all your support so much! If you want to see more of us, you can find us on Instagram: @sextraspodcast Facebook: Sextras Podcast Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com Website: www. sextraspodcast.com Don't forget to rate, review (on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser), share and subscribe, and we'll see you next Tuesday! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam

This week we have a lovely guest, Mary, joining us to talk all things mental health and being single in lockdown. We begin the episode by hearing from what our listeners think the best part of single life is. We then dive into Mary's experience with being single, and having never been in an established relationship at 21. Some people think being single is lonely, but we discuss how sometimes being single is better as you can do some self-reflection, focus on your mental health and discovering what you want from a relationship. Mary explains that, while she's slightly bitter that covid began as she was ready to begin dating, she's grateful that she's single during lockdown, as maintaining a long distance relationship would be extremely difficult. She also tells us about how being single during covid has been difficult, and how she thinks her mental health would be affected by being in a relationship. We conclude that of course it's difficult to be single sometimes, especially during covid-19, when you can't get the intimacy (both physical and emotional) you need for your well-being, but that ultimately it's being single is best if you don't feel as if you're able to be in a relationship because of your mental health. Thank you so much to Mary for joining us, we hope you enjoy the episode! You can find Mary on Instagram @mazza.h99 and TikTok @mazza.h, and you can find more of us on: Instagram: @sextraspodcast Facebook: Sextras Podcast Website: www.sextraspodcast.com Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com Don't forget to rate, review, share and subscribe! We'll see you next Tuesday! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam

In this week's episode we ask if you can be friends with your ex. We begin by hearing from some of our listeners' opinion on if exes can be friends, if they're friends with any of their exes, if they'd be okay with their significant other being friends with an ex, or if their significant other minds if they're friends with their ex. We then move on to explaining how we came to be friends with our exes, and what to do if your ex wants to stay friends and you don't. There are often so many reasons not to stay friends- they're your ex for a reason, after all (!)- but sometimes losing someone from your life forever is unnecessary and not worth it. Of course there are wrong reasons to stay friends with someone you dated, like you still secretly have feelings for them and you're hoping they'll change their minds and regret dumping you, but we truly believe, after some time and reflection, exes can be friends. You probably can't be friends straight after a breakup, though. We wouldn't recommend that (from personal experience). And you definitely, definitely, can't be friends with someone you love. We also discuss how we feel about our boyfriends being friends with an ex, and if it's ok for them to be friends with their ex-lovers, even if they don't have feelings for them. If you're going through a break up, we really feel for you. We know how difficult it can be, but maybe you'll get a friend out of it eventually! Just don't stay friends with them and lie to yourself about not having feelings for them, and you'll be fine! We hope you enjoyed the episode, we love making this podcast for you! If there's anything you'd like to see, any advice you'd like, please do reach out and make any recommendations you might have. You can find us on: Instagram: @sextraspodcast Facebook: Sextras Podcast Our website: www.sextraspodcast.com Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com Don't forget to subscribe, rate, review and share, and we'll see you next Tuesday! Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam

Happy new year!!! If you're listening to this- congratulations on making it to 2021 baby- I can't believe we did it. Let's hope the new year brings the end of the pandemic and a lot *lot* more joy and freedom than 2020. We hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and celebrated new years safely, and you're all wrapped up at home working on your new year's resolutions. Even though starting the new year doesn't mean you have to set goals for yourself we think it's always important to be do some self reflection. It's easy to look back and be critical of what you achieved during the year, but maybe setting small goals for yourself like how you want to improve your relationships or something you want to explore in your sex life, like a new kink, will be more realistic than deciding you're going to cut out sugar forever! We encourage you set *intentions* if you will, or rather just resolutions you can keep. In this week's episode we discuss what we want from 2020 in our careers, relationships and sex lives, from learning to integrate exercise into our routine to wanting to have a threesome, and also hear our listeners' resolutions. We wish you all a happy 2021 and we can't wait to spend it with you and see you next Tuesday! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, review and share. We dedicate a lot of time to creating this podcast so if you listen regularly it would help us out a lot! You can find more of us on: Instagram: @sextraspodcast Facebook: Sextras Podcast Website: www.sextraspodcast.com Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam

We have finally made it to the final week of 2020. There is no beautiful, poetic, amazing way to bring up everything that has happened during 2020, and we by no means try to do that. We know that this year has brought challenges, pain, struggle in a way we have never in our lifetimes seen before, and in all of that, there is a lot of room for growth. Being quarantined and staying home for most of the year provided us, and people all over the world, with nothing but time to really think. Lockdown has forced people into really thinking about their priorities and what they want, and if anything we hope all this time to yourself has given people time to think, and maybe even learn. For this week's segment we ask our listeners what they learned this year, with answers ranging from valuing themselves to missing your job. We relate a lot with some of the answers, and talk about how in our own ways we've learnt to say fuck it and be happy. We tell you some of our best lessons learnt, from believing more in our own abilities, to learning how to really dress up for ourselves and not for others. All in all, we pat ourselves (and you guys too!) on the back for really just doing our best even though this year has been hard. We wanted to share some of our 2020 favourites and what really got us through the year, from TV shows, to Podcasts, to books, which will all be available to find in our website. We hope you can find something positive to say about the year, even if only small! Please don’t forget you can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, and you can subscribe and rate us, too, wherever you get your podcasts! You can find more content on our social media, below, and get in contact with us if you have any recommendations or feedback: Instagram: @sextraspodcast Email: [sextraspodcast@gmail.com](mailto:sextraspodcast@gmail.com) Facebook: Sextras Podcast Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam

In this week's episode, we take you through our experience as bisexual girls. We talk about the first times we ever heard of the term 'bisexual' and how we first started identifying with it, or questioning our sexuality. The bisexual identity can be difficult to come to terms with because often you are left in a limbo, of not being 'straight enough', nor 'gay enough'. This can bring forward a lot of confusion, we share how we often have felt like impostors, how maybe we are just saying we like girls for attention, and similar internalised biphobic tendencies. Since we have both been in relationships with men, we speak about how that can be difficult when identifying with our bisexuality, how the 'gay world' and the 'straight world' seem to fail to coexist sometimes, and how someone who is part of both, it can sometimes feel like the world doesn't have a place for bisexuals. We talk about how dating men and women can feel so different, and how lucky bisexuals are that we get to experience both and whether we fear 'missing out' on dating girls or dating guys once we settle down with one person. Ultimately, we complain about all the hard stuff that comes along with being bisexual, yet we both agree we would not want it any other way. Love the way you are! No matter who you love. We love you. Please don’t forget you can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, and you can subscribe and rate us, too, wherever you get your podcasts! You can find more content on our social media, below, and get in contact with us if you have any recommendations or feedback: Instagram: @sextraspodcast Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com Facebook: Sextras Podcast Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam

We're joined this week by the lovely Pup Anarchy (aka Amir) who talks to us about kinks and how to pay attention to what you really want, whether that's during sex or just in your day-to-day life. We begin with a segment where we hear what the kinkiest thing our listeners have ever done is, ranging from peeing on someone to smelling people's underwear. Amir then tells us about his job as a shaman, and how he found out what kinks he's into (spoiler...he's into puppy play). He tells us how his work and his sex life are similar in that he has to pay close attention to what he really wants, making sure he knows what sort of energy he expects to receive from his interactions with others. We also dive into the BDSM community and what kind of space it provides people with kinks, as well as aftercare, with Amir teaching us about how submissives and dominants are really not that different when it comes down to it. We hope you enjoy this episode! You can find Amir on instagram @anarchy_flow7777, And you can find more of us on: Instagram: @sextraspodcast Facebook: Sextras Podcast Email: sextraspodcast@gmail.com Website: sextraspodcast.com We now have stickers! We'll be giving one away every week to our favourite submission for the segment. Keep an eye out on instagram to see when we post the prompts for the segments, and you can also submit your stories anonymously through our website. Don't forget to review, rate, subscribe and share our podcast if you enjoy! See you next Tuesday. Produced by Mable Productions Original music by Sacha Puttnam