Bawdy Storytelling

Are you all wet and exhausted from Amy's sex swamp? Lavender menace Amy Melin is nicknamed after a famous Las Vegas landmark, but it comes with a bit of chagrin: yes, her orgasms are especially cinematic, but what about all that clean-up?! So when her friend Layla has a birthday, group leader the Queen of Mean pull out all the stops: fancy meal prep in a tiny kitchen, too many nude servers, spankings, a violet wand, the happy duck - Wait, you want me to put that ice cold trailer hitch WHERE?

Do you wanna watch me cry in the shower after we have sex? In this vintage story from the Bawdy archives, sex-positive parent Jeanette Clarke returns to school to get her Masters in Sexuality - and her first assignment? To keep a 7 day sex diary, documenting her every tryst, fantasy & sexual interaction. Can this highly competitive student impress the famous instructor - and nail that top grade - by hiring a babysitter and trying to do it all in just one night? #SocialJustice #Fieldwork #PublicSex

Did you just throw a bag of dicks at my head?! Polyamorous sex party organizer William Winters takes an erotic humiliation workshop, musing that it’s a great way to add intensity to a kink scene. But when play partner Jana begs him to use these new psychological torture skills on her, he learns that being mean is harder than he thought, and aftercare isn’t just for the submissive. Talk about intense! #Blush #Shudder #Worthless #Unlovable

Is that a VR headset, or are you just happy to see me? Comic/Writer/Playwright Luna Malbroux is dealing with a divorce during a Pandemic, and Riverdale feels like her only escape from reality. But when Canadian guy Chris shows up to help her new roommate move in, he brings not only pizza but a trunkful of VR equipment - and Luna’s COVID experience is changed forever. Bow Chicka Wow Wow, Get ready for some Science, bitches! (Spoiler alert: there are no Science Bitches, just a newly anointed VR P*rn Broker)

Was that a hotdog or a gunshot? Underground rave enthusiast & thespian Dane Garfield Wilson wows a sold out Seattle crowd with his tale of rampant hormones & misspent youth in Kalamazoo, Michigan. This story is full of bad ideas; should Dane’s first time at sex happen in a single wide trailer/crackhouse, under the watchful eye of Alex Trebek and a pair of chubby twins? Or down by the cemetery, in a Buick Regal? Plus Dixie shares multiple ways to make your upcoming Quarantine Valentine’s Day special.

Get ready to take notes as Author & Podcaster Christopher Ryan tells us about his first sexual encounter. This story’s got it all: 1970 style bridge parties, Harvey Wallbangers, TV’s Love American Style & the birth of polyamory movies like Bob, Carol, Ted & Alice. At the age of 8, Christopher is too young to join the cocktail party, but he *is* old enough to learn about consent, pleasure and natural urges at a party for… one? This story was told live onstage in Los Angeles during our last tour.

Have you ever wanted the world’s most famous Pornstar to share her own true stories with you? This recently unearthed recording of Bawdy’s first live show in LA features the Legendary Nina Hartley! Nina’s shares the naked truth about her sluttiest day ever, she’s honest about her less-than-perfect moments, and Yes, she still enjoys her dream job after more than 35 years in the business. Don’t make her tie you up & use you as a dildo, OK? #Vintage #Feminist #PillowPrincess

Are you a recovering Catholic who rules with an iron fist? As we say goodbye to 2020, enjoy this story from dearly departed sex-positive pioneer Allena Gabosch. Sister Immaculata Concepcion gives us a masterclass in role play: you’ll need a Nun’s habit, a pleasure swing, a big wooden cross, and be sure to book an entire weekend at your local Kinky BnB - you can’t reform a bad girl overnight, right? Also Dixie visits a Botanica and discovers an unforeseen side effect of the Pandemic.

Uh oh, do you have a Santa fetish, too? Dixie De La Tour’s Yuletide ritual means foregoing Christmas travel for a petsitting staycation - but these homeowners have no idea what their cats are gonna be witness to. Her traditional Holiday hookup ad results in one meet cute after another, but time is running out; which of these 3 Wise Men should she boff next to their tree? & will a threesome with Beavis & Butthead make her spirits bright?

Does a feminist conference full of hot queers arouse both your bits AND your brain? Author & Sex Educator Allison Moon enjoys flirting with ubergeeky writers while drinking cocktails out of test tubes, but the awkwardness is real. Then bi-curious Molly attends Allison’s erotic shapeshifting panel - & these are signals that she can read. Will she spend yet another science fiction/fantasy Con without a hook up? And what about the patriarchy? #Lesbian #VirginityIsAConstruct #NoReciprocation #DykesOnBikes

What if Uncle Patrick says it’s OK? Charra Steele’s long monogamous queer relationship is ending, and she’s single and heartbroken. But that private paddling by her ex-girlfriend’s Aunt inspires her to dive into single life: she buys a ticket to Burning Man, joins a theme camp, & suddenly she’s bound, topless, & experiencing exquisite pain with Saint Nick standing guard. Torture bondage! Predicament bondage! Meditative bondage! Ummm… whatcha got in your magic bowl, Santa?

"Joe, you’re hiding in a bush and abducting me, and that’s final!” What happens if you fail to fulfill a witch’s penultimate fantasy? Comedian Joe Klocek knows his new girlfriend is out of his league; she’s hot, rich and Wiccan. He’s having panic attacks & fears a police record, but she won’t take no for an answer. Will he stop hyperventilating in that ski mask and establish some boundaries, or should he make this occultist’s dream come true?

Is ejaculating all over your walking treadmill a bad idea? Sex Geek extraordinaire Reid Mihalko joins the Bawdy livestream to confess: he’s been to more than 300 orgies in the real world, but online sex is giving him the jitters. How do you make eye contact when there are 120 people on the call? & can he hang onto that giant dildo with his kegels while also typing with lubed up hands? Human connection during a Pandemic requires a learning curve - but somehow, it still makes for awkward, delicious joy.

Be careful, the call is coming from inside the house! When pro domme Mistress Amanda Wildefyre gets an outcall to her own Minneapolis neighborhood, she wants to refuse - but the money’s good & her rent is due. And when the client turns out to be her landlord, the thrill of handing him back his own money on the 1st seems too good to pass up. Will a disguise fool her upstairs neighbor? Plus Sex-Positive Titan Allena Gabosch is (Quadruple) Sainted as we say Goodbye on the #Lovestream

It’s our 150th Episode, and we’re celebrating with a Bawdy story from Snap Judgment’s Glynn Washington! Have you ever wanted to just have sex with one woman at a time, maybe even kick it after & get something to eat? When storytelling superstar Glynn Washington realizes “it’s not me, it’s them” he heads to a new dance club with new women & new rules - & ends up in jail. Will he be featured in his hot dance teacher’s nationwide salsa video? & how much should he sell his drawers for?