Bawdy Storytelling

What do your fantasy’s characters dress up as: Penny Dreadful, or Grey’s Anatomy? Writer & Spartan Racer Christina Willis has got her masturbation game dialed in, & her go-to imagery features Stirrups & Privacy drapes (Yippee Ki Yay, Reverse Cowgirl!), not Kink or Steampunk Cosplay. Is it OK for her to like what she likes, even if it’s Vanilla? And what if her partner - and the guest stars in their non-monogamous life - is disappointed in her? Expect a miracle and get a zoom haircut, y’all!

Do you take your Mother’s photo off the wall before you choke the bishop? Author & Podcaster Joe Loya has had life experiences that most of us can only imagine: marching all the bank tellers into the vault to steal huge wads of cash, a 14 month, 30 bank crime spree - but somehow, he’s never experienced true intimacy. A chance encounter teaches him how important human connection is…and that single night sustains him through solitary confinement (Can you relate? I bet you can).

Can you open a marriage without breaking it? As an Asian-American with strict Catholic values, Aurelia Foxx is happily married to the punk rock guitarist from senior prom. But life’s challenges - deliver a one-two punch after the birth of her second child. Therapy and photography teach her to fall in love again & they decide to experiment together, but swinging is complex and dating is baffling - until they meet a married J-Lo lookalike (& her attractive husband), and now nothing’s off the menu.

Is your body image working out the way you planned? Dungeons & Dragons’ enthusiast Tazzness thinks he’s a hairy twink, but society disagrees. Then one night, Viking Queen Ella confesses her own fears of being too much, and in bed, they give each other a few orgasms & a reframe: She’s big & bold, He’s furry & sleek - and swimming lessons have never come in so handy. Plus Dixie rubs one out to some Farmer’s Market porn. Will there be a second Thanksgiving? #Queening #Bisexual #HolyCavern #Largesse

That fantasy you have of being bound and gagged by your giant tree of a domineering boss? Seattle storyteller Sarah Calkins makes it all come true: munching on his cum-covered doughnuts, face down and naked in the dirt of an abandoned construction site…you know, the usual. This has to be true love, right? She’s never felt so free to show her kinky queer self to a person, & she savors every moment of it. But when it all comes out at work and their secret life is exposed to the world…well, just listen.

Oh Golly Gee, a Swinger convention! With just a passing knowledge of conversation swinger, Sex educator & queer polyamorous slut Reid Mihalko arrives ready to teach orgies & gangbangs at this lifestyle event, but he’s the one who’s learning this weekend: Hot wife! Full swap! That being the check-in guy for birthday blowjobs has its perks! But none of these compare to the life lesson he receives at 3 AM in a fashionable couple’s 4 poster bed, overlooking the Vegas Strip. #Showgirl #Blackjack #SquadGoal

How do you go from bored housewife to glory hole girl? First time storyteller Jordan Kay tells us how she summoned the bravery to 1) leave a marriage where she was chastised for spending money on art supplies and EDM concerts, and 2) finding someone to make her filthy, kinky fantasies come true. Plus hear Polly Superstar’s romantic story of cock pics and true love - Living the life you dream of will take your world from black and white to Color!

What happens when your brain’s on board to have sex, but your body rebels? Vintage Pornstar Richard Pacheco/Howie Gordon tells us about his first time having sex for money, and how he went from jackhammering concrete on a construction site one week to a different kind of jackhammering on a porn set the next. How did men get it up under duress before the invention of Viagra or Cialis? What’s the difference between personal sex, and professional sex? And is there such a thing as an x-rated woman’?

Are you a Fan of Fanfic? When lonely queer clown/performance artist Tootsie Spangles moves to Seattle, she needs to make new friends - so she joins a book club. Their first selection? Tolkiens’ Lord of the Rings, the entire trilogy. Ain’t nobody got time for that! But getting stoned late at night with this tome in her bed leads to googling Sam & Frodo, and …oooh! Wonder Woman! Thor! And before she knows it, there’s a Song of Ice and Fire IN HER PANTS #WinterIsComing #Heh #StrongFemaleCharacters

Happy VD, Lovers! We’re celebrating romance and love this week with a story from the Risk! podcast’s Kevin Allison (isn’t he a heartthrob?), told live at Bawdy’s NYC show. Kevin’s ’I’ll try anything twice’ policy is tested on a first date… Black tie galas! Machetes! X-Men! and it will only get worse when a certain Mr. Poo joins their scene unannounced. #EroticHypnosis #MindFuck

Did a film shape your early sexual awakening? Preschool teacher Mosa Maxwell-Smith was obsessed with a popular Disney movie as a child, and its imagery really stuck with her. Years later, she’s living a perfect life: in love, pregnant with a first child, renovating a home with her husband - until a pretty furry appears & threatens her happiness. Fearful that she can’t possibly compete with this beautiful stranger, Mosa’s animal instincts take over, and she heeds the Call of the Wild.

Are you thirsty for knowledge? Kink-curious storyteller Deviancy leaves conservative San Diego and heads off to college at Berkeley, ready to acquire some hands-on life experience. And he’s really eager for the homework that hot senior Aaron could assign, to no avail - but when Aaron turns out to be the Teacher’s Assistant in Deviancy’s Deductive Logic class, their studies lead to a late night invite, and a chance to play Aaron’s “guess what I put in your butt?’ game. #Hiss #ExtraCredit #Quenchi

Ready for a delicious snack? First time storyteller (and Food Anthropologist!) Hannah Hoffman reveals a past - being body-shamed for her juicy curves and healthy appetite. Then she discovers vibrators (sorry, roommate’s Holly Hobbie quilt), , sex parties, caring sexual partners and metamours, and a new use for her kitchen food scale. Did you hear that? Tidal Wave! #WetMess #BodyConfidence

“So…what do you like?” As a college student, Zahra Noorbakhsh had never been asked this question by her boyfriend - or by any guy, for that matter. But when she simultaneously breaks up with Dean & learns that beautiful Italian exchange student Sophia has a crush on her, she drinks a lot of martinis, puts a rubber band on the doorknob and together, they figure what she really wants. In the end, who will it hurt - Dean, or her vagina? #RinseCycle #DoNotDisturb #FleurDeLys

Do you hate being the center of attention? Well don’t tell that to Lindsay Olsen, ‘cause she has a celebration fetish! Our perky polyamorous friend invariably asks ‘when’s your birthday?’ If she likes you. But when OKCupid date Christopher refuses to tell, she comes up with a plan that backfires - in the most delightful way. #IrishCatholic #Ticklebutt