Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler
Summary: Welcome to our podcast! My name is Richard Ostler (twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler; FB: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5; IG: instagram.com/papa_ostler/) and am a native of Salt Lake City. I am the author of "Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773) and Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints) I am the author of two recent Ensign articles on ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin and ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use I have degrees from the University of Utah and Brigham Young University (business). I married my best friend and eternal companion Sheila Juergens of Houston, Texas in 1990 and we are the parents of six children and several grandchildren and live near Cottonwood High School in Salt Lake City. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group. The name ‘Papa Ostler’ resulting from being introduced to Twitter by my High School age son Matt in 2010. I wanted the high school age youth to know I wasn’t their age as I interacted with them … hence the name Papa Ostler. I served as a YSA Bishop in the West Valley City/Magna area of Salt Lake (released in 2016) and met some of the finest people I will ever know. In addition to meeting with wonderful active members of my Ward, I reached out and connected via social media (mostly via the private messaging features of FB and Twitter) with many of our inactive members and their non-member friends. Over time, many felt comfortable meeting with me and sharing their stories. Through hundreds of interviews and ‘listening to understand’, I was able to ‘see’ the church from the eyes of those on the outside. Many feel the church is their ‘spiritual home’ but feel uncomfortable attending for a variety of reasons such as work-in-progress testimonies, concerns about church history, feeling unworthy because of past or current sin, don't fit the cultural mold, role of women, are LGBTQ and/or feel God's LGBTQ childen should be more welcomed in our congregations, etc. This podcast is designed to 'Have a Conversation' about some of the more complicated issues in our church to help all of us 'listen, learn and love' so we can minister in a more effective way to all of Heavenly Father’s children. Most podcasts will be from our LDS LGBTQ friends to give them voice so we can better understand their road, touch their cross, learn from them, and minister to them as directed by President M. Russell Ballard when he said "We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly, we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home where their brothers and sisters love them and where they have a place to worship and serve the Lord(Nov 2017 BYU Devotional)." Some podcasts will be from LGBTQ allies sharing their experiences and how to be helpful. Other podcasts will be from guests talking about other complicated topics such as mental health, returning from a mission early, overcoming sin, and faith challenges. Are podcast are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening. With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤ firstname.lastname@example.org *I will respond to your e-mails*
My friend Brittney Herman bravely shares her story surviving multiple sexual assaults. Brittney, who did nothing wrong, has great insights to help others walking this road to heal, and hope and move forward. Brittney started a nonprofit called “We Will” (wewillorg.com) to help sexual assault survivors. You can also following Brittney’s work on Instagram @we.will.organization and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/we.will.organization/ Brittney has great insights working through trauma, being angry at Heavenly Father and connecting with Heavenly Mother, role of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, solving shame, and realizing she didn’t do anything wrong. Brittney also the importance of parents teaching their kids consent, coercion and refusal skills. Thanks for being on the podcast Brittney. You are one of my new heroes. You bravely sharing your story is giving hope and healing to so many.
My friend Bob Burggraff joins us to share his story. Bob and his dear wife Inma are the parents of 4 children and one grandchild. Bob has experience gender dysphoria his whole life and it has been a painful and difficult road. Bob talks about what he is doing to cope with his dysphoria and why he now considers himself detrains. Bob honored all the paths those who are transgender walk and ask that people honor his path. I’ve learned that gender dysphoria is real. These good people are not being deceived or making this up. I’ve also learned that each story is unique and I’m so grateful for Bob’s courage to share his story. Bob also has a podcast called “Faith and Gender” at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/faith-and-gender/id1498053947. Thanks for being on the podcast Bob. You and Inma are awesome!
My friend Dennis Schleicher joins me to update our listeners on his service, journey and work. Dennis (who joined us on Episode 108) is now a LDS literary agent, talks about his firesides, his work in his EQ Presidency and North Star. Dennis also shares answers he get to common question from other Latter-day Saints. You can buy Dennis’ book at: https://www.amazon.com/He-Nuts-Become-Member-Church/dp/1462135714 Thanks for being on the podcast my friend Dennis. You have a beautiful and unique life mission to help many unto Christ.
My friend Kerri Scott bravely shares the story of her 2-month affair that resulted in a child. Kerri shares telling her husband Troy, going through Church discipline, how her marriage ultimately survived, and how Troy accepted this child as his own. This is a story about pain, redemption, forgiveness, communication, friends and family, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ to forgive and heal broken hearts. Thank you Kerri for sharing your story. It gives us all hope and better insights into the Atonement. You are Troy are two of my new heroes. Thanks for being on the podcast.
My friend Jordan shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Jordan shares growing up, doing his best to stay in the Church, and helping other LGBTQ people. Jordan is on the executive committee at The Utah Hearth (https://www.facebook.com/groups/320445228673183/) and is launching (end of 2020) lgbtqut.com as a central place for Utah resources. Thanks for being on the podcast Jordan. You are a great man, helping many, and with a wonderful future.
My friend Deborah Schone shares her story of raising her gay son Hunter. Deborah is joined by her mother (and Hunter’s grandmother) Catherine Pedersen. Hunter, who came out to Deborah in the 9th grade, and Deborah and her husband Steve have been walking this road for the last nine years. It is a beautiful story as Hunter is close with his family. Deborah and Catherine have great insights and advice for others. Hunter, who has stepped away from the church, is a great man doing wonderful things in his life including getting a PHD in neuroscience at University College London. Check out his ted talk on Alzheimer’s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARd2cpdZpjI). Deborah recently posted a pride flag at her home and shares her thoughts on why she did this as an active LDS parent. Great insights. You can read her IG post @gr8fulmom9 Thanks for being on the podcast, Deborah and Catherine. You are great examples of family, service and discipleship. Thanks for your insights on keeping the family together as you support your good son and grandson Hunter.
My friend Rebekah Westover (active LDS, married mother of 3) shares her journey to become a LGBTQ Ally. It started by doing a photo shoot of a same-sex couple (her cousin Marc Galbraith and Nick Burton) in 2013 at the Salt Flats. Spending a day with these two good men changed Rebekah’s heart. That shoot became the focus of an article at the Park City Magazine (see https://www.parkcitymag.com/weddings/2013/09/men-in-black-marc-galbraith-nick-burton-grooms-portraits-at-the-salt-flats). Since that time, Rebekah has done work for Encircle and other same-sex couples. Rebekah shares her thoughts on our LGBTQ friends, their gift and contributions. She also talks about her role as an ally including wearing a rainbow bracelet to Church. Thanks for being on the podcast Rebekah and your insights to love and support all of God’s children. Your insights helps us to better come together as the same human family.
My friends Skyler and Amanda share their story. The first part of the podcast is Skyler coming out as gay to Amanda while they were dating. That brought them closer together and they were married in the Provo City Center Temple in March 2018. They have a beautiful, authentic and wonderful marriage. The second part of the podcast is the birth of their beautiful son Milo at 24.5 weeks. They share having Milo for 24 days until his sudden death on Aug 25, 2019. Skyler and Amanda bravely share the story of losing their beautiful son, how they are grieving and what helpful things we can do/say to those grieving. I felt Milo with us.” Thank you for being on the podcast. I learned so much from you and your story will give hope, healing and better understanding to our listeners. The three of you are awesome.
My friends Grace Soleberg (Black Latter-day Saint) and Faith Williams (Grace’s friend and ally) talk about being black at BYU. I became aware of Grace following her tweet after painful experience at the Black Immigration Panel at BYU in early February where racist questions were submitted (https://twitter.com/SoelbergGrace/status/1225607906092974081). This experience helped me to realize how much more work we have to do as the Body of Christ to help Black Latter-day Saints feel welcome and that racism exists today. Faith (a RM from Argentina) shares wonderful insights into the problem and what we need to do better. Thank you Grace and Faith for being on the podcast. You two are awesome. You have a unique and beautiful life mission to help us to better.
My friend Seth Cannon joins us to bravely share his story. Seth, who grew up in Medford Oregon and has a great family, shares his journey with difficult emotional health issues which led to a suicide attempt during his junior year in high school. At the time, Seth falsely believe his suicide who end the burden he was creating for others. Seth talks about how his OCD/Scrupulosity led to a feeling of not measuring up and the need to engage in self harm to ‘even the judgement bar’. Seth also shares his desire to service a mission, being voice for the voiceless, helping us better understand those with emotional challenges, and how BYU can be tough place if you are not a returned missionary. Thank you Seth for your courage to share your story on the podcast. You are brave, strong and full of goodness. Your story will help so many!
My friend Noah Kelsch joins us to share his journey with OCD, Anxiety, and Scrupulosity. Noah, who is getting a degree in Marriage and Family Studies with plans to be a therapist, talks about how scrupulosity was first manifested while getting ready for his mission, then on his mission, and more recently while a student at BYU-I. Noah did not know this was scrupulosity until his therapist diagnosed him in 2019. Please listen as Noah bravely shares his journey. His insights, perspectives, and experiences will help you if you have scrupulosity or simply want to help others. Also, check out Noah’s podcast, "Survive and Thrive: From Courtship to Marriage," at: https://surviveandthrive.buzzsprout.com/. It can also be found on most podcast streaming platforms.
My friend Kris Irvin (who identifies as transmasculine non-binary and asexual) shares their journey as a queer Latter-day Saint. It’s beautiful story. I love the story Kris shared when speaking in Church, the Bishopric member introduced Kris using they/them pronouns. We are all the same human family and I’m grateful for amazing people like Kris who are doing so much good in their family, church circle, for other queer Latter-day Saints, and in society. I’m a better person for knowing Kris. Thank you for being on the podcast Kris. You are awesome. You can follow Kris on Twitter at @krisis86
My friend Jenny Hahn (active LDS) shares her unlikely journey to homeschool her children. As I listened to Jenny, I realized many of the myths and biases I held about homeschooling were wrong. I realized this is the right decision for the Hahn family and many other wonderful families. I realize I need to set aside my past assumptions to bring us together as the same human family. Jenny shares the personal revelation she received as a mother to homeschool her kids, how her kids are thriving, how she honors and support families in the public school system and how she hopes this no longer divides families in our wards and communities. Thank you Jenny for being on the podcast.
My friend Preston Jenkins, who is the missionary Elder Holland spoke about in his conference talk ‘Behold Thy Mother’ (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2015/10/behold-thy-mother) shares his story with our listeners. In 2010, Preston came home from his mission because of the emotional and sexual abuse that he endured at the hands of another missionary. Church-generated trauma can be one of the most difficult types of trauma to overcome because it originates from a place that should be safe and healing. Preston shares how, over the following five years, he overcame the PTSD that resulted from his mission. He talks about his visit with Elder Holland that was key to his moving forward as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints－a ministering home-run by Elder Holland. Preston also shares how wonderful a job his parents, Cheri and Trent, siblings, and other family and friends did to help him navigate this complicated road and ultimately heal, putting his trauma behind him by coming to know Jesus Christ and His ability to heal his broken heart. In 2015, acting on a spiritual prompting, Preston left to finish his mission, assigned to Atlanta, Georgia. Then as "Elder Jenkins," Preston watched the October General Conference in the chapel of his assigned area when Elder Holland spoke about him and his mother. Elder Holland’s talk opened the door for Elder Jenkins to share his experiences with many others, helping them to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ and learn of His Atonement so they, too, could heal. After completing his mission in Atlanta, Preston taught at the MTC for just shy of 3 years and remains an active member of the Church. Preston also shared his story through a North Star - Voices of Hope video (https://www.northstarlds.org/voh-preston). There is also a book manuscript currently being considered by a publisher that details his journey. If you have a wounded heart or want to help others heal their hearts, please listen to this podcast. Preston's story helped me. I think it will help you. Thank you for being on the podcast, Preston. You are a great man with a beautiful and unique life mission to give hope to and heal others.
My friend Curtis Anderson (active LDS, married father of two, former YSA Bishop) shares his journey to better understand and support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. It’s a powerful story. Curtis has great perspectives on how to faithfully deal with the complex historical and current issues of our Church. Curtis also updated our listeners on Encircle, a LGBTQ+ family and youth resource center (https://encircletogether.org/) Thanks for being on the podcast Curtis. You and your wife Margie are awesome!