Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler show

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Summary: Welcome to our podcast! My name is Richard Ostler (twitter:; FB:; IG: and am a native of Salt Lake City. I am the author of "Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints at and I am the author of two recent Ensign articles on ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) and ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) I have degrees from the University of Utah and Brigham Young University (business). I married my best friend and eternal companion Sheila Juergens of Houston, Texas in 1990 and we are the parents of six children and several grandchildren and live near Cottonwood High School in Salt Lake City. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group. The name ‘Papa Ostler’ resulting from being introduced to Twitter by my High School age son Matt in 2010. I wanted the high school age youth to know I wasn’t their age as I interacted with them … hence the name Papa Ostler. I served as a YSA Bishop in the West Valley City/Magna area of Salt Lake (released in 2016) and met some of the finest people I will ever know. In addition to meeting with wonderful active members of my Ward, I reached out and connected via social media (mostly via the private messaging features of FB and Twitter) with many of our inactive members and their non-member friends. Over time, many felt comfortable meeting with me and sharing their stories. Through hundreds of interviews and ‘listening to understand’, I was able to ‘see’ the church from the eyes of those on the outside. Many feel the church is their ‘spiritual home’ but feel uncomfortable attending for a variety of reasons such as work-in-progress testimonies, concerns about church history, feeling unworthy because of past or current sin, don't fit the cultural mold, role of women, are LGBTQ and/or feel God's LGBTQ childen should be more welcomed in our congregations, etc. This podcast is designed to 'Have a Conversation' about some of the more complicated issues in our church to help all of us 'listen, learn and love' so we can minister in a more effective way to all of Heavenly Father’s children. Most podcasts will be from our LDS LGBTQ friends to give them voice so we can better understand their road, touch their cross, learn from them, and minister to them as directed by President M. Russell Ballard when he said "We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly, we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home where their brothers and sisters love them and where they have a place to worship and serve the Lord(Nov 2017 BYU Devotional)." Some podcasts will be from LGBTQ allies sharing their experiences and how to be helpful. Other podcasts will be from guests talking about other complicated topics such as mental health, returning from a mission early, overcoming sin, and faith challenges. Are podcast are indexed by category at Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening. With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤ *I will respond to your e-mails*

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 Episode 213: Doug Richens, Active LDS, Incarceration | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:16:06

My friend Doug Richens joins me talk about impact of crime and incarceration of individuals, families and communities. Doug, who works for the Church as Sr. Manager in the Priesthood of Family Department, share important work being done in the Church in this area. While this podcast focuses on incarceration, Doug shares wonderful principals of ministering and insights into the excellent work being done at the Church do meeting the needs of marginalized groups. Thanks for being on the podcast Doug and all your great work. I was deeply touched and educated by the things your shared.

 Episode 212: Darren Bush, LDS Bishop | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:14:27

My friend Darren Bush, a Bishop in Madison Wisconsin, talks about making his ward safe for everyone, helping his ward members focus on Christ, creating an atmosphere that's safe and unconditional loving, so when Ward members need spiritual guidance, they'll feel comfortable knowing he will "judge without being judgmental." Thanks for being on the podcast my friend Darren and all you are doing to help people truly understand the Atonement and come unto Christ through our restored Church.

 Episode 211: Jacob Graf, Gay Latter-day Saint, RM, Age 26 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:08:51

My friend Jacob Graf shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Jacob feels his path is find a husband and have a family. Jacob is respectful of the church and grateful for the spiritual foundation it provides and his continued relationship with his Heavenly Parents. Jacob and is close to his wonderful and supportive family. Jacob acknowledges he is choosing a path outside the teachings of our church which I sustain and support, and as a fellow human is worthy our support and understanding as he makes his way forward. Jacob, who is out as gay at work, has a leadership role at Divvy located in Utah County and talks about the positive environment for fellow LGBTQ employees. I’m glad to hear this is a non-issue at Divvy and realize how far we have come as a society. Thanks for being the podcast, Jacob and sharing your story. You have a great life ahead of you.

 Episode 210: Valerie Loveless, Mother, Author, Media Producer at Cedar Fort Publishing | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:14:36

My friend Valerie Loveless (active LDS and mother of 3) joins me to talk about the joys and challenges of getting married young, being a ‘stay at home mom’, having a miscarriage and wanting to join the work force. Valerie has wonderful and honest insights to help others. Valerie talks about the book she wrote ‘Enduring Promises of the Heart’ ( and her work at Cedar Fort Publishing including their new podcast called ‘Cedar Fort Publishing and Media: Behind the Scenes Podcast’ ( Thanks for being on the podcast Valerie and thanks for all the good work you and my friend at Cedar Fort Publishing are doing to help others.

 Episode 209: Daniel Yesilonis, Active LDS, Convert, Early Returned Missionary | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:23:30

My friend Daniel joins me in Philadelphia to share his journey converting to the Church and then serving a mission. Daniel’s emotional health deteriorated on his mission leading to thoughts of suicide and self-harm. Daniel returned to Philadelphia after 9 months. During the next nine months , Daniel’s emotional health further deteriorated with constants thoughts on suicide and self-harm. Daniel is doing much better and shares how he was able to ‘walk out of this desert’ because of therapy, medication, great friends and local leaders. If you are suicidal or want to help someone, please listen as Daniel bravely shares his story. Daniel also shares why he stays a committed member of the Church. Thanks for being on the podcast Daniel. You are one of my personal heroes. You have a great life ahead of you!

 Episode 208: Kyle and Reece Jacobsen, Married, Great Family Support | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:19:04

My friends Kyle and Reece Jacobsen (RMs from Moscow Russia and Ventura California, respectively) share their journey as gay Latter-day Saints. They eventually felt their path was a same-sex marriage and stepped away from the Church. They are respectful of the Church and are please it works for others. They share how their active LDS families navigated this road and the great support they had at their wedding and going forward. They are both close with their families which is consistent with Church teachings to keep the family circle together. Great job to Kyle’s parents Hugh and Margaret and Reece’s parents Kent and Marilyn. Thanks for being on the podcast Kyle and Reece and your contributions to society. You are good men who are worthy of our support and friendship as you make your way forward.

 Episode 207: Mayor Jon Pike of St. George, Active LDS, LGBTQ Thoughts | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:46:31

My friend Mayor Jon Pike shares his thoughts about our LGBTQ friends including a former missionary companion and a cousin. As mayor of St. George, Jon shares his desire to ‘be the Mayor for everyone’. With that charge, he shares learning about LGBTQ member of his community and what he and his team is doing to meet their needs. He talks about allowing pride flags during this summer pride festival and the community discussion that followed. Jon shared some thoughts in his FB post on Sept 17th: Thanks for being on the podcast Mayor Pike and all the good you are doing in our community to create a feeling of love, respect and inclusiveness.

 Episode 206: Stephen Lambert, Gay, Director of Pride of Southern Utah | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:00:12

My friend Stephen Lambert shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Stephen got married and together they raised 5 children. Stephen came out to his former wife 6 years ago and their marriage ended. Stephen no longer participates/believes in the Church but is respectful and glad it works for others. Stephen has great insights on mixed-orientations marriages (many do work) our single members considering a mixed-orientation marriage. Stephen also has helpful insights into how to better minister to our LGBTQ members. As Director of Pride of Southern Utah, Stephen manages the St. George Pride Festival (3rd week of September) in its 4th year with over 3,000 attending. Stephen talks about this ‘family friendly’ event and how it is helping to bring the community together and help our LGBTQ community members. Thanks for being on the podcast Stephen and all the great work you are doing.

 Episode 205: Dr. Tim Hollingshead, Founder of, Solving Porn | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:18:01

My friend Dr. Tim Hollingshead shares his story of being a YSA Bishop (St George area) helping the YSAs overcome porn. Tim went on a deep dive realizing that he lacked all the tools needed to meet his YSA needs. After Tim was released he started to help people escape the trap of pornography. If you are working to solve porn or are trying to help others, please listen to this podcast and go to This is an inspired program to help solve this challenge. I wish I had these resources during my YSA assignment. Thanks for being on the podcast Tim and all your great work to help and bless others.

 Episode 204: David and Jordyn Johnson, Married and Active LDS, Scrupulosity | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:18:50

My friends David (Psychology major at BYU) and Jordyn (Dental Hygienist major at UVU) share their journey with scrupulosity. Since they are walking this road, they have great insights to help others. The have started an Instagram account about their story @scrupcrew (please follow to learn more). Thanks for being on the podcast and bravely sharing your story. You two are awesome and are helping so many!

 Episode 203: John and Jenny Dye, Active LDS, Their Ministry | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:09:08

My friends John and Jenny Dye share their work with the #LightTheWorld initiative (including the new elements announced for 2019), John’s work on the Mormon and Gay web site ( and Jenny’s great podcast called Mormon News Report ( Wonderful efforts to help us Come unto Christ through our restored Church. Thanks for being on the podcast John and Jenny. You two are awesome!

 Episode 202: Marian Bergin, Active LDS, Mother of Two Gay Sons | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:05:02

My friend Marian Bergin, age 84 in December, shares her insights of being a parent of two gay sons and a grandmother of a gay grandchild. Marian (who was a social worker) has great insights into how being LGBTQ is not a choice and what LDS parents can do to ensure healthy choices for their LGBTQ children. Marian expresses her wish for an event that she believes could improve the culture of our Church for our LGBTQ members and what we can do to improve the culture of the Church for our LGBTQ members. Thanks for being on the podcast, Marian. It was an honor to hear your story and your multiple decade perspective on this topic. Thanks for all the ways you service to help our Church and society do better. You are one of my new heroes.

 Episode 201: Brett and Becky Barney, Active LDS, Brett’s Coming Out | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:37:16

My friends Brett and Becky Barney, who drove from Nebraska, share their experiences related to Brett's same-sex attraction. Both in their 50’s and married for 32 years, Brett shares why he decided to come out to Becky about 3.5 years ago and how their marriage is stronger than ever. It is a beautiful love story. Brett (EQ President) and Becky (RS Presidency) talk about why they publicly share their story in their Stake and with friends and their deep commitment to our restored Church. You will enjoy this podcast as Brett and Becky have great insights into successful marriages, role of loving Heavenly Parents and the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and talking about sensitive subjects in a faithful way. Thanks for being on the podcast. You two are awesome. Brett can be reached at and Becky at

 Episode 200: Kyle Friant, RM, Age 21, Gay Latter-day Saint | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:23:07

My friend Kyle Friant bravely shares his story growing up in central Utah, serving a mission in Bulgaria (coming home after 8 months), being home, going back out and serving in Pittsburg (coming home after 3 months), confronting being gay, and almost leaving the church. Kyle, who wrote 20 resignation letters but never sent them in, takes about why he decided to come back to Church and is now a committed member. It’s a remarkable story. Thanks for being on the podcast Kyle. You are one of my new heroes. You have a great life ahead of you and will do so much good in our church and society to help others.

 Episode 199: Tim and Aubrey Chaves, Active LDS, Faith Crisis, Scrupulosity | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:51:56

My friends Tim and Aubrey Chaves (parents of 4 children) talk about their faith crisis/transition and why they stay active LDS. It’s a beautiful story. They also share creating a feeling of belonging at church, their role with Faith Matters (check out, wonderful gifts of a faith crisis and conclude with Tim’s journey with scrupulosity. If you are in a faith crisis and want to stay in the Church (or are helping others stay), please listen to this podcast. Tim and Aubrey have incredible insights and a wonderful testimony of our beautiful restored doctrine. You can read from Tim at Thanks for being on the podcast, Tim and Aubrey. You two are awesome and give me hope for the future of our Church and society. Thanks for all you are doing to bless and help others.


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