Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler show

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Summary: Welcome to our podcast! My name is Richard Ostler (twitter:; FB:; IG: and am a native of Salt Lake City. I am the author of "Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints at Amazon ( and Deseret Book ( I am the author of two recent Ensign articles on ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) and ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) I have degrees from the University of Utah and Brigham Young University (business). I married my best friend and eternal companion Sheila Juergens of Houston, Texas in 1990 and we are the parents of six children and several grandchildren and live near Cottonwood High School in Salt Lake City. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group. The name ‘Papa Ostler’ resulting from being introduced to Twitter by my High School age son Matt in 2010. I wanted the high school age youth to know I wasn’t their age as I interacted with them … hence the name Papa Ostler. I served as a YSA Bishop in the West Valley City/Magna area of Salt Lake (released in 2016) and met some of the finest people I will ever know. In addition to meeting with wonderful active members of my Ward, I reached out and connected via social media (mostly via the private messaging features of FB and Twitter) with many of our inactive members and their non-member friends. Over time, many felt comfortable meeting with me and sharing their stories. Through hundreds of interviews and ‘listening to understand’, I was able to ‘see’ the church from the eyes of those on the outside. Many feel the church is their ‘spiritual home’ but feel uncomfortable attending for a variety of reasons such as work-in-progress testimonies, concerns about church history, feeling unworthy because of past or current sin, don't fit the cultural mold, role of women, are LGBTQ and/or feel God's LGBTQ childen should be more welcomed in our congregations, etc. This podcast is designed to 'Have a Conversation' about some of the more complicated issues in our church to help all of us 'listen, learn and love' so we can minister in a more effective way to all of Heavenly Father’s children. Most podcasts will be from our LDS LGBTQ friends to give them voice so we can better understand their road, touch their cross, learn from them, and minister to them as directed by President M. Russell Ballard when he said "We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly, we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home where their brothers and sisters love them and where they have a place to worship and serve the Lord(Nov 2017 BYU Devotional)." Some podcasts will be from LGBTQ allies sharing their experiences and how to be helpful. Other podcasts will be from guests talking about other complicated topics such as mental health, returning from a mission early, overcoming sin, and faith challenges. Are podcast are indexed by category at Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening. With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤ *I will respond to your e-mails*

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 Episode 65: Dr. Spencer Fluhman, Executive Director of the Neal A Maxwell Institute at BYU | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:08:14

My friend Spencer Fluhman talks about the Maxwell Institute, how seeing good in other faiths helps us appreciate the restored truths in our Church, ministering to those in a faith crisis and helping thoughts for our LGBTQ Saints. Many of my BYU friends have mentioned to me the personal ministry of Brother Fluhman and how he is helping them navigate complicated topics. I think you will enjoy the podcast.

 Episode 64: Harper Dawn Forsgren, active Latter-day Saint, BYU Student, RM | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:03:05

My friend Harper (along with her dear friend Sophie Huff) tell the story of her mission (successfully competed) having PTSD because of traumatic and difficult experiences on her mission. Harper bravely shares what happened, how she coped, the isolation and difficult feelings she felt, and how she managed to complete her mission. She also shares how she is coping with PTSD today and remaining a faithful member even with this difficult mission experience which was outside of her control. You are strong and courageous Harper. One of the bravest persons I’ve ever met. You story will help so many others address, deal with, and solve difficult church situations that are difficult through no fault of their own and how our Savior can heal us.

 Episode 63: Susan Meredith Hinckley, Latter-day Saint, Mother of Three, Writer/Artist, Why I Stay | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:10:52

My dear friend Susan Hinckley shares her lifelong wrestle with our church and why she stays an active member. It’s a remarkable story. I believe Susan’s multi-decade journey to stay will help others (especially our younger members) know there are others on this path that have processed complicated issues and have found a way to authentically stay. Susan also talks about teaching Relief Society for the past 5 years, and her efforts to create a culture to process complicated topics in a faithful way. Thank you, Susan for sharing your story. You are awesome and helping many to Christ.

 Episode 62: Todd Sylvester, Beliefcast Podcast, Helping others overcome addictions | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:20:55

My friend Todd Sylvester shares his story overcoming addictions and plans for suicide following a successful basketball career (including taking State at Brighton High). He talks about how a great friend and Bishop who gave him hope and path to find Christ through our restored church. Todd, now married with 4 children and one grandchild, has spent his life helping other overcome addictions. If you want to feel hope and inspired, please listen to this podcast. Thank you Todd. You are a great man and friend. You are bringing hope and healing so many!

 Episode 61: Kim Pearson, active Latter-day Saint, Father of gay son | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:09:44

My friend Kim Pearson share his journey as a married father of three children one of which is his gay 18 year old son. Kim shares the journey of his son coming out at age 13, finding safe places for him (such as joining the Bridging Voices, The Portland GSA Youth Choir), and supporting him in his decision to not be an active Latter-day Saint. Kim is doing a great job keeping his family together and navigating this complex space in our Church. Thank you my friend Kim for sharing your story!

 Episode 60: Jake Watts, Active Latter-day Saint, Discusses Faith Journeys | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:07:25

My long-time friend Jake Watts (married father of two young children) discusses his own faith journey following his mission and how he stays a believing and committed Latter-day Saint. Jake has wonderful insights into how to help our members in a faith crisis/journey in a positive and thoughtful way. His thoughts will also help those who are trying to help others in a faith journey. Jake also shares insights into how he and his wife are teaching the more complicated issues to their children. Thank you, Jake for sharing your story. Its great families like you and Chelsie that give me hope for the future!

 Episode 59: Regina Pistilli (lesbian Catholic), Chuck Clark (straight Latter-day Saint) | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:04:36

Chuck shares the story of how he initiated and led the first ever community float project (that included people of all backgrounds) for the Days of ’47 Parade. Regina shares her perspective on how the float project gave the community a chance to build something beautiful together. After the Days of 47 Parade, both Chuck and Regina spoke in their local Ward about this community effort. They share their Christlike talks in our podcast. Thank you Chuck and Regina. You two are awesome!

 Episode 58: Colin Hanson, Travis and MacKenzie Tiner, Viewmont Class of 2012 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:14:26

Colin Hanson shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint coming out to friends following his successful mission in Brazil including his close friends from the 7th grade Travis and MacKenzie Tiner (married three years ago, active Latter-day Saints). The three of them share this journey together. Very helpful insights on how a friendship can be strengthened and how Travis and MacKenzie are providing much needed support to Colin and how Colin is now in a much healthier places as trusted friends know about his sexual orientation. Did Travis and MacKenzie always suspect that Colin was gay? Well, listen and find out! Thanks Colin for sharing your journey. You are a great man with a wonderful life ahead of you. Thank you Travis and MacKenzie for you love and support of Colin. You all give me hope on how we are learning to do a better job as Latter-day Saints supporting all of God’s children.

 Episode 57: Dallin Steele, Active Gay Latter-day-Saint, Age 27, RM | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:15:25

My good friend Dallin shares his journey coming out to family, friends and a FB post (April 2018 He talks about staying close to Heavenly Father and getting personal revelation. He talks about the helpful things friends, family and two Bishops have done for him. He also gives us insights into our transgender friends. Thank you Dallin for sharing your story. You are a great man! Dallin’s blog can be found here:

 Episode 56: Erika Munson, Mormons Building Bridges | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:06:23

Erika Munson, a straight married Latter-day Saint, shares her journey of marching in a Utah Pride parade in 2012 which led to founding of Mormons Building Bridges. Erika has great Christlike principals for active Latter-day Saints to step into this space of supporting God’s LGBTQ children. She also shares helpful insights about our LGBTQ friends. Thank you Erika for sharing your story. You are awesome!

 Episode 55: Jake Lee, Latter-day Saint, Married, BYU Law School | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:01:29

Our family friend Jake Lee, a bridge builder, talks about respect for those in a different political party, empathy of our LGBTQ friends, his own emotional health and how that is helping him touch the cross of others, and concludes with his strong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Thanks Jake for sharing your journey. You are a great man. Sister Ostler and I love you and your wonderful family.

 Episode 54: Royal and Elissa Richards, Latter-day Saints, Dear Friends, Wonderful Gay Son | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:19:01

Our dear family friends, Royal and Elissa Richards, share their family story of raising three great sons who all served missions and who are all married. Their middle son Conner is gay and was married earlier this year to his husband Jan. Royal and Elissa will talk about how are navigating this road, supporting and loving their dear son Conner, keeping the family circle together and helpful Ward support (including some vulnerable and helpful Elder Quorum discussions, and a shower hosted by the RS President). Their story helps all of us show Christlike principals to better love, support and respect others.

 Episode 53; Jodie Palmer, Latter-day Saint, Gay, Mother, Mixed Orientation Marriage | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:24:56

My friend, Jodie Palmer, is a mother, educator, coach, and bridge builder. She is also gay and in a mixed orientation marriage (MOM). Her passion is spreading empathy and dialogue as the universal guides to navigating conflict without losing connection. Thank you, Jodie, for sharing your journey, as well as helpful insights in navigating complex and difficult issues. You are wonderful and a beloved daughter of Heavenly Parents, and I’m glad to call you friend!

 Episode 52, Briget (cisgender) & Ann Pack (transgender), 19 Years of Marriage, Latter-day Saints | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:21:00

After 15 years of marriage, Briget and Ann Pack share their story of Ann transitioning from male to female and why they have stayed married over the past 5 years since that transition. They have helpful insights for us to better understand, support and love God’s transgender children. Briget is the Chair of the Board of North Star and Ann is involved in Affirmation. They introduce these organizations to help us understand how each organization helps our Latter-day Saint LGBTQ members.

 Episode 51: Austin Hodges, Active Gay Latter-day Saint, Age 22, Holds Temple Recommend | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 01:24:07

My friend Austin Hodges share his story of knowing he was gay around age 12, coming out to friends, family and church leaders, being suicidal, serving a mission, being diagnosed with MS and coming home after a year, dating men including going through and finishing church discipline, holding a temple recommend, being suicidal including having a plan but being saved, having a new boyfriend where they are keeping the law of chastity so Austin can stay in full fellowship. Thank you Austin for sharing your story. You are a remarkable and courageous man.


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