Calm and Connected Podcast

This is such a hectic and strange time. I had plans to talk about something completely different during this podcast episode, but things have significantly ramped up in terms of school closures, working from home, and other disruptions due to the spread of COVID-19. So, I put other things on hold, and I started writing in an effort to help families. I wanted to offer some suggestions for kids and adults to help deal with the stress and anxiety that is happening right now. Take a listen to hear about some coping skills I recommend we all use now, plus see the resources below to get more support.

"Literally, it worked!" Recently, one of my teen clients said about the coping skill I cover in this podcast. I'm always thrilled when a coping skill works for a client of mine. She struggles with anxiety, and we've talked about a ton of different coping skills, but this was the first time she ever used that phrasing. To hear more about what this coping skill is, take a listen.

On today’s podcast, I quickly re-visit one of my favorite ways to help kids see the impact their words can have on others. Then I talk about two more ways to help kids & teens understand the impact their words can have on other people. It's a great way to encourage them to think before they speak (or post). Here’s a sneak peek into what you’ll hear: A silly visual activity which involves toothpaste and a paper plate For the Harry Potter fans, a conversation starter about the impact of words based on Snape and Lily Potter’s friendship

Can I tell you something? I LOVE working with teens. The conversations I have with adolescents can be full of sarcasm, but at the heart of every one of those talks is that they want to be heard. What’s interesting is that a lot of the same strategies I use for younger kids work for teens too (and even adults). Even though the strategies are similar, there are a few critical points to keep in mind when working with teens. Take a listen if you are living with or working with teens!

Whenever I’m speaking to families or professionals working with kids about their coping skills, I always get the question, “They aren’t using their coping skills! What do I do?”In this podcast, I share a few tips and mindset strategies to use when working with kids who are having a hard time managing their feelings. The biggest thing to keep in mind is that it will not go smoothly the first time or 100% of the time. Please take a listen to hear some other helpful tips to help kids more consistently use their coping skills.

Sometimes kids need a little practice on working together as a group. In this episode of the podcast, I discuss three different activities you can do to create some teachable moments around working together in groups. Take a listen and get playing!

Calm down kits are a fantastic way to help kids keep their coping skills accessible for times when they need to calm down. Sometimes it can be referred to as a coping skills toolkit. Whatever name you use, what it means is that there is an actual physical container that houses items kids can use to help calm down and express their emotions in healthy ways. There are lots of places you can go to get items for a calm down kit. One of my favorites is Five Below. This store has only been in my area for a few years, and while their items change regularly, I can always find some awesome things to go into a calm down spot for home or school. On a recent trip, I took pictures of what I would put in a coping skills toolkit. Listen to what I found!

In this episode of the podcast, I discuss how to create teachable moments to practice social skills for kids. I love using group settings with kids to work on social skills because it can be a microcosm of the playground, recess, or other social situations. In the podcast, you’ll hear how I like to structure groups to be effective, and that I love messy groups! Also, I talk about opportunities that happen at home where you can use those teachable moments to help reinforce social skills with family interactions and playdates.

Last week, the podcast focused on the fact that it's okay to be angry. I discussed the feelings rules and understanding the anger iceberg. This week, as promised, I've shared 5 of my favorite coping skills, plus two bonus strategies to keep in mind as you're working or parenting angry kids.

It’s OKAY to be angry. It’s happened multiple times in my career when I’ve said that, kids will look at me like I have three heads. I explain that everyone gets angry - it’s a normal and expected human emotion. Its what you do with your anger that matters. Then I share the feelings rules with them: 1. Don’t hurt yourself 2. Don’t hurt other people or living creatures 3. Don’t destroy property And then we talk about healthy coping skills to use to express anger. It can feel intense to work with a child who is feeling angry. In this podcast episode, I discuss some tips that will hopefully make it easier for you to work with kids in those mad moments.

Open-ended play is incredible - it cultivates imagination, thinking differently, and encourages creativity. To promote open-ended play, we should offer toys that can be played with in multiple ways. One benefit of having versatile toys is that it cuts down on having so many! I know what it feels like when it seems like the toy department of your local Target is all in your living room. Plus, having fewer toys is helpful for child development. A recent study from the University of Toledo in Ohio found that the fewer toys a child has, the more creative and imaginative they become with the toys they have. Listen to this podcast to hear about five awesome open-ended toys that I love.

When a kid is feeling sad or upset, a good coping skill to try is thinking of things that make them happy. Finding and focusing on the good things in life can have a positive impact on mental health, plus paying attention to those positive experiences is the beginning of gratitude practice for kids. But it can be hard to remember the good stuff in those tough moments. In today’s podcast, I share three ideas to help kids focus on the positives. Take a listen!

A coping skills toolbox is an actual physical container that houses items kids can use to help calm down and express their emotions in healthy ways. There are a ton of strategies your child can use to calm down, and having a toolbox is one way to keep several of these tools readily available to use. Where can you get these items to help create a coping skills toolbox or a calm down kit? A lovely listener requested that I do a podcast episode on Oriental Trading, so I took a peek around the website for awesome items to go in a calm down kit. Listen to what I found!

Several years ago, I wrote an article on this topic because the mother of a client of mine had significant concerns about getting through the holiday season, in particular, all the parties. I also understood this from my own experience as a parent, so I gave her some ideas. Since it's that time of year, I wanted to share these ideas with you to help. Take a listen!

We all know how important it is to help kids explore their feelings - it's a vital step in helping them understand and manage their emotions. But what do we do with those little ones who don't want to talk about it? Truthfully, it can be hard for kids to talk about their feelings. Here are four ideas to help you explore a child's emotions - without talking!