Our Modern Heritage: The Home & Family Culture Podcast

About Dina Dina Alexander is the founder and president of Educate and Empower Kids (educateempowerkids.org), an organization determined to strengthen families by teaching digital citizenship, media literacy, and healthy sexuality education—including education about the dangers of online porn. She is the creator of Noah’s New Phone: A Story About Using Technology for Good, Messages About Me: A Journey to Healthy Body Image, How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography and the 30 Days of Sex Talks and 30 Days to a Stronger Child programs. She received her master’s degree in recreation therapy from the University of Utah and her bachelors from Brigham Young University. She is an amazing mom and loves spending time with her husband and three kids. Together, they live in Texas. This post contains affiliate links From this Episode Our kids need to be stronger than we are.  Our kids experience much tougher issues than we could have imagined as kids.  We need to be able to open up and have tough conversations with our kids about these issues. Smart phones are shaping our kids’ realities Be deliberate with the time we spend with our kids and the conversations we have.  Visualize what kind of adults you hope your kids become. Be deliberate about the activities you allow your kids to engage in, whether digital or otherwise. Be the example by showing them that your relationship with them is more important than our devices. Consume media that reflect your values. It’s a habit, a practice that you develop over time.  Regularly reevaluate habits to determine if they fit your values. Seek out useful ways to use technology, and set boundaries. Be deliberate for yourself!  Set a timer for limiting your own. Our phones have become coping tools.  Part of the conversation is asking our family what we do when we are tired, stressed, or alone. Always speak kindly about our bodies. Give our kids compliments about their character, and the abilities of their minds and  bodies beyond aesthetics and looks. Give our kids opportunities to succeed so it develops their confidence and abilities, and sense of accomplishment. See Episode 020 with Merrilee Boyack. Focus on health practices rather than body image. Don’t label foods as good or bad. (See EllynSatterInstitute.org) Keep sports fun for as long as you can. Be deliberate about what sports, and programs you select for your kids.  Do they bring you closer to your goals?  Talk to the teachers about your values. “Stand tall Molly Lou Melon” by Patty Lovell “Beauty Redefined” web site Speak kindly to yourself. Find Dina educateempowerkids.org Instagram Facebook Educate Empower Kids on Amazon Recommended Books Start your own blog. Sign up for web hosting at Sitground.  Listen to your favorite books on Audible, click on the banner below to sign up!  

About Jeanie: Two-time best-selling author, professional speaker, experienced educator, and parent Jeanie Cisco-Meth shares her scientifically proven system for improving communication and decreasing conflict. She has written articles for many magazines, been quoted in Forbes, and is a contributor for TheBlaze. She has been a guest on radio stations across the country and locally on KSL. She has been seen on television on ABC4, Free Speech TV, and others. As a high school educator for more than 17 years, she witnessed firsthand what bullying can do to a person, a family, and a community. Her solution was to design a program to end bullying. Bully Proofing You is the result of that effort. Jeanie had many learning disabilities and differences growing up that made her a target for bullies. When she entered school, the labeling began. She dyslexia, couldn’t speak well, was legally blind, was six feet tall, had survived cancer, and more! At one point, she remembers sitting with her parents in a classroom listening to teachers predict her dismal future. Jeanie and her parents had different ideas. They knew she would find a way to succeed. When Jeanie entered high school, she refused to let others determine her future. She sought the tools to help her graduate high school and then college, something very few people thought she could or would be able to do. Jeanie has found either success or a lesson in everything she has ever tried to accomplish. She loves teaching people who want to improve their lives and make a difference. She now teaches her special techniques on overcoming adversity to all types of audiences. Her high energy educational program has helped people improve communication and productivity and decrease conflicts. Her expertise and knowledge have helped many overcome obstacles and challenges in their lives. Jeanie finds pleasure watching people change their lives by implementing the lessons learned from her program. Her trainings are comprehensive. The parents, teens, or staff of your organization are trained to make sure that lasting change takes place. “As you increase your personal value others are more valuable.” Jeanie Cisco-Meth. How do you end conflict? Find out today by contacting Jeanie Cisco-Meth. This post contains affiliate links So many amazing gems from this episode.  Jeanie is an amazing person, full of love and energy! The first step to bully-proofing your kids, is to bully-proof yourself.  You can teach them that they can choose what messages to believe.  Parents model how to cope with their imperfections by accepting them, celebrating them, enjoying them! We disrupt our habits of negative thoughts by keeping a thought journal and recording your thoughts on the hour.  When you notice your negative thoughts, you can change them. You may notice your child is being bullied if they start acting out with violence and anger.  If you notice they are listening to violent music or watching violent media, that could be another clue. From this episode:  Jeanie likes this tool from "Love and logic": Say, “Aren’t you glad I don’t believe that?!” when children come and tell us they heard a disparaging message. “You are special” by Max Lucado - you have a choice whether to believe those messages others are telling you about you.  Watch the video I made reading the book here! Tony Robbins pattern interrupt Jeanie says, "Hurt people hurt people!"  What a way to teach empathy and realize that people who are hurting do things to hurt others. My mom told me when I was little that people who are a problem have a problem. That made a big impact on me when I was young and helped me realize that I don't know what is going on in someone else's life that is causing th...

About Shelly I am a wife and a SAHM to two boys. I have a master's in education with a principal's certificate. I taught elementary school for 15 years with some admin positions along the way.  I loved professional development, and I always had way more hours than was required, not to mention all the reading I did and gurus I followed on social media.  I always tried to put best practices in place in my classroom. When I found out I was pregnant, I immediately turned that energy into research about pregnancy, childbirth, later on, infants, toddlers, then preschoolers and I have not stopped.  I research every question I have about my children, and then some. I hope that all of the time that I have put into research can go beyond benefitting my children.  I want it to benefit my followers by helping them to make informed parenting and family decisions. The purpose of my blog is all things parenting professional development, This -N- That Parenting   From This Episode This Post Contains Affiliate Links Being able to have fun creates a lightness to our family culture that makes everyone want to be together!  Having fun (for fun's sake and not at the expense of someone else) creates a resilience in the family because having a sense of humor, and making home a place where you can have fun makes it all worthwhile!  When we are having fun at home, we aren't looking for it in other places.  When we create a space for fun in our family, you may naturally fall into rhythms and habits that work for your family and allow you to thrive, even without thinking about it too hard!  Still, sometimes we need to intentionally create that space when it doesn't come naturally, or other things creep in and take away our attention from doing fun things together. Some things we like to do for fun is have tickle fights, play board games, go on fun field trips or day trips as a family, spontaneously drop in to get ice cream, donuts, or fro-yo, call grandparents and tell a funny joke, watch a fun show when it is not our usual media time (cause we kind of regulate that in our house), make cookies together, go to a park and play tag.  There are so many ways that we can have fun, and make fun a part of our daily rituals.  I like how Shelly talked about the book about why the author didn't rebel, is because the fun was at their house!  When I was a teenager, my house was the one where all our friends liked to come.  We would play fun party games, and have yummy food on hand, and watch movies, and we kept it all clean!  I loved that about my family culture growing up.  That's totally the kind of home I want to have, too: a place where my kids and their friends want to be because they know mom and dad like to have fun! There is an element of grace when you are having fun.  It's like you can have a sense of humor about life in general and that brings light and peace to the home.  Both grace and humor, really, take humility.  Being a humble parent opens us up for guidance and the ability to cope with anything that comes our way! Books and other resources discussed: Why I Didn't Rebel: A Twenty-Two-Year-Old Explains Why She Stayed on the Straight and Narrow---and How Your Kids Can Too by Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach AhaParenting.com with Dr. Laura Markham Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Dr. Laura Markham Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp   Connect with Shelly Blog: http://www.thisnthatparenting.com Instagram and Twitter: @TNTParenting Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/thisnthatparenting/   Start your own blog. Sign up for web hosting at Sitground. 

(Contains affiliate links) About Blaine and Audrey When traditional marriage therapy failed them, Blaine and Audrey Rindlisbacher became intensely passionate about finding the answers to what makes successful marriages work. Their commitment to finding the answers has driven them to make significant time and financial sacrifices in order to send Blaine through both a difficult and lengthy Liberal Arts Bachelor’s Program and an intensive Marriage and Family Therapy Master’s Degree Program at Liberty University while raising and providing for 6 children. In addition to his degree programs, Blaine has spent 100’s of hours reading every marriage and relationship book he could find. Through his study and experiences in his own marriage, Blaine discovered the GREATEST SECRET to obtaining and maintaining a fulfilling marriage—the 12 PRINCIPLES of Happy Marriages! As he’s used these principles in his Couple’s Coaching Practice, he has been overjoyed to watch these principles work miracles in the lives of the husbands and wives who apply them. In an effort to make these principles available to couples everywhere, Blaine and Audrey have worked together to found ADORE YOUR SPOUSE where couples can learn more about the 12 Principles, take the FREE Marriage Assessment, watch FREE weekly tip videos, sign up for a FREE online class and get involved in other programs that will strengthen their marriage. Find these free marriage tools and more at AdoreYourSpouse.com! From This Episode Principles are true, whether they are principles of health and wealth, or principles of a successful marriage.  You know that the principles of health are physical activity, good nutrition, rest, healthcare, etc. You know the principles of wealth are saving, getting out of debt, and investing.  Marriage success has the same kind of principles. Living the principles of a successful marriage are like a muscle, a skill you can strengthen with practice and consistency. Follow along with the principles we discuss on Adore Your Spouse. Each of these principles build on the one before it, so you need to master each one in sequence.  Principles 1, 2, 3, and 4 address our personal development.  Principles 4-10 are about becoming informed and educating ourselves about marriage, ourselves, and our spouse.  Principles 9-12 are about taking your marriage to the next level of relationship, becoming supportive and unified. Listen in for all the details, and understand how each principle leads into the next one.  Blaine's practice is to coach individuals and couples through each of these principles in sequence.  I really consider him an authority because he has experienced the process of learning these principles for himself. Put your marriage first Ensure individual needs are met Regularly forgive and repent Safeguard against addiction and abuse Frequently express love and make sacrifices for your spouse Respect and appreciate your differences Truly understand your spouse and yourself Build and preserve complete trust Engage in kind and effective communication Maintain healthy boundaries Clarify roles and fulfill responsibilities Create unity in all areas of the marriage Audrey mentioned the author Scott Peck - the opposite of love is laziness. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman - Do you know your spouse's love language? Living After The Manner of Happiness by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland Find Blaine and Audrey AdoreYourSpouse.com January 30th workshop on Addiction: http://adoreyourspouse.com/online-workshops/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/adoreyourspouse/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adoreyourspouse/  

Born in 1984 in Flensburg, Northern Germany, the life after finishing highschool led me from working in a sheltered workshop farm for people with disabilities over to 10 months work & travel in New Zealand. After that I studied Environmental Engineering in Bremen (Germany) and Sweden followed by studies in Biomimetics in Villach (Austria). Changing course after that I worked 3 years in Innovation Management, Crowdsourcing and Crowdfunding in Graz (Austria), during which time I also began to teach Innovation Management at the university to international master students of Electrical Engineering. Personal development, inner work and consciousness as well as Martial Arts (Karate, Wing Tjun Kung Fu, Taiji) were always part of my main interest and natural longing. IN 2016 I followed passions a bit further by co-teaching Wing Tjun Kung Fu and movement to kids between 3 and 12 years. And after quitting the work in Innovation Management I follow my passion into the realm of systemic coaching and took part in a 1-year systemic coaching programme, which was like a big opening for me. Currently I assist in a Montessori school in Styria (Austria) once a week, after a 1-year break in Kung Fu training took up again the kids-training (and my own) and started to build my own business with systemic coaching and helping parents develop a better family culture by helping them building a nourishing environment to grow in for their kids, in which they can develop social and emotional skills to be successful in life aligned with their own strengths, passions and their heart wide open for connections to the wonders of the world around them. My aim is do my best to foster the ability of people to connect with each other and especially to support parents and their children with my best effort to build strong, loving and trustful relationships.   It's very fascinating that we often think that if we stand over our children and direct every course of their lives that they will be perfect little angels and will always do exactly as we say.  I don't know about you, but that doesn't seem to work much with my kids! I like what Max describes as a flourishing culture, that it is just about creating the type of environment that allows for optimal growth and development.  Max describes how he has observed this kind of environment during his experience with a Montessori school.  It seems that when children actually enjoy more freedom and trust, they are allowed to become what they should and develop to their full capacity. I also love the reasons for why Max chose The Happiness Project as the book that he recommends because family culture is really all about this process of working on ourselves.  It is never about perfection.  And, when we can create an environment where happiness abounds, it is an optimal culture for safety and development! Find Max and his courses: Website & Course: https://www.maxweichert.com https://www.maxweichert.com/courses/sel FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/MaxPhilippWeichert INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/maxpweichert TWITTER: https://twitter.com/MaxPWeichert LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/max-weichert Other resources mentioned in this episode (contain affiliate links): The German brain researcher: Gerald Hüther The Power of Starting Something Stupid by Richie Norton The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin  

SJ is a CMA (Consultant, Mentor, & Advisor), as well as the founder + C.E.O. (Chief Encouragement Officer) of SBSL, an Educational Solutions Provider. He is 41 years old and has been an entrepreneur in the education field for 5 years as of the fall of 2016. His business model includes designing &/or implementing customizable solutions for business owners to address three deep, fundamental problems with the traditional approach to the K-12, college/university, & also graduate tracks of education in America. He is presently involved (or has been actively involved) in the following mentorship and/or advising programs / organizations: YEA ( Young Entrepreneurs Academy ) Teen Entrepreneurial Camp AWANA OWU’s EMF ( Econ Mgmt Fellows ) Sundown Group’s ‘Ask an Expert’ Program HECOA’s special events ( Sept 2015; April 2016; Sept 2016 ) ECDI ‘s Professional Advisory Network (PAN) He is a National Steering Committee member. He serves his alma mater, Ohio Wesleyan (OWU) on the Central Ohio Alumni Leadership Board & is also an active member of a non profit board (ChefVet). His favorite pastimes are traveling; reading ( 220+ paper & audio books in the past six+ years’ time ); listening & watching inspirational content; connecting people who may not otherwise have met in the course of time; and being a futurist/visionary when it comes to organically transforming the education system for the Gig Economy age/era in which we now find ourselves.   Soft skills, including empathy, people skills, emotional intelligence among others, lend to our ability to adapt to new situations, to cope with change, and to innovate. 7 Tips for encouraging soft skills: "Drip approach": small doses, consistency, over a long time frame (six-nine months). Keep a score card.  Anything you want to work on needs to be tracked. Disconnect as much as you can from mass media.  Why?  Listen and find out. Distinguish between leisure-centric, and pleasure-centric activities. Be Accountable.  Build a tribe. Focus on one skill per month per family member. Be aware of what schooling and education are, and aren't. C.A.R.: Compliment, servicebeforeselfleadership.com Mentioned in this episode (contains affiliate links): SJ's presentations on HECOA (membership required) Learn more about what a gig economy and a digital era economy are, and what they mean for the future. Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us by Seth Godin Noel Tichy The Cycle of Leadership: How Great Leaders Teach Their Companies to Win by Noel Tichy Future Shock by Alvin Toffler Trends Journal The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door by Jay Pathak Growing Your Business Can Be As Fun & Easy As Giving Candy To Strangers: Tips for Creating Abundance through Heart-Centered Sales by Stan Holden 8 Attributes of Great Achievers, Vol I, Vol II by Cameron C. Taylor Ten Thousand Horses: How Leaders Harness Raw Potential for Extraordinary Results by John Stahl-Wert How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie How to Have Power and Confidence in Dealing with People by Les Giblin Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change by Kerry Patterson et al. Positive Personality Profiles: D-I-S-C-over Personality Insights to Understand Yourself and Others by Robert Rohm Personality Plus: How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself by Florence Littauer      

Pat Hade’s business works with youth sports and educational organizations to form their presence in the digital world, so her team sees hundreds of thousands of posts, tweets, searches and images from students every month. In addition to writing and presenting about using and abusing Social Media and the Internet she collaborates with Virtual Safety Monitoring entities to develop educational content for parents and students. Her book, Social Media for the High School Athlete, has become a staple in the youth sports community and both Teaching Social Media and a new educational series on Social Media are slated for publication in the spring of 2016. Hade’s work has been featured in numerous publications, media and blogs including USAToday We know that kids need to be trained to drive a car, or manage their money.  But, for some reason we disregard that kids need to be trained and guided on how to use their electronic devices, social media, and messaging.  The internet and social media are relatively new, and the hazards are relatively unknown. Pat's job is to help make people aware of the dangers and benefits of using these tools appropriately.  Kids need to learn the skills necessary to navigate the internet, know the rules, and the boundaries necessary to use these tools properly.  People need to be aware that employers, colleges, landlords, and even banks use our social media for vetting their potential employees, tenants, students, athletes, and loan candidates.  People need to be aware of predators, and posting too much information about their personal lives online.  People need to be aware of the addictiveness of social media and personal devices, and how it affects our brains - our attention span and executive function, and delayed vs. instant gratification. As parents, we set an example.  When we are constantly looking at our phones and immediately reacting to the notifications, then kids get the message that these devices are important, and maybe even a priority above reality.  Make it a habit and a rule that you don't need to react immediately to a notification, and not to use the device when we need to be with our children.  It's about being present, being available, and making our children the priority.  We don't need to constantly be in contact with the outside world.  Just BE WITH our kids. In his talk Things as They Really Are, David A. Bednar warns of the dangers of virtual and augmented reality. I plead with you to be aware of the sense dulling and spiritually destructive influence of cyberspace technologies that are used to produce high fidelity and that promote degrading and evil purposes. Please be careful of becoming so immersed and engrossed in pixels, texting, earbuds,Twittering, online social networking, and potentially addictive uses of media and the internet that you fail to recognize the importance of your physical body. And miss the richness of person to person communication. Beware of digital displays and data in many forms of computer mediated interaction that can displace the full range of physical capacity and experience.   Where to find Pat: pl@hssocialmedia.com @HSSocialMedia . on Twitter https://www.facebook.com/HSSocialMedia1 . on Facebook Our course Digital Literacy for HomeSchooling can be accessed at https://teaching-social-media.teachable.com/courses/digital-literacy-for-home-schooling Your listeners can get 25% off the course purchase price with the coupon code: HOMEANDFAMILY The Screenagers website is https://www.screenagersmovie.com   Mentions in this post (may contain affiliate links). Home Education Council of America Social Media for the High School #Athlete by P L Hade

Solo episodes are really just a few of my thoughts.  I hope you'll find this episode helpful as you plan your 2018 goals.  It's just a short episode, and I STILL have a scratchy voice.  It's been, like, two months or something!  I think you'll find the content insightful and brief. Thank you again for listening.  Thank you for your support! Please remember to like and share on social media.  Click the links here to connect with me. Instagram Twitter Facebook Check out some helpful tools for planning your goals (contains affiliate links): 5 Tools to Maximize Your Time 12-Week Year by Brian P. Moran Fly Lady  

Merrilee Boyack loves life and loves every season of life--especially this one!  She enjoys hanging out with her hubby, four sons, daughter-in-law and two grandchildren and discussing politics.   She is an estate-planning attorney preparing trust, wills and powers of attorney and her law practice covers Utah and California.  Merrilee is also a professional lecturer and speaks all over the country, featured for many years at BYU Education Week and Time Out for Women, and a published author.  She loves to travel and meet people all over the world.  Her perfect day is camping in a tent, reading a good book, taking a perfect hike, and eating FREE food. Her current passion is working with Family Watch International as President for Utah.  She is working to protect the family and children at the international level at the United Nations and in supporting governments around the world to institute measures to protect families.  Merrilee also has created the Empowered Families Coalition of pro-family organizations in Utah to support family and traditional values.  She is a passionate community activist working to protect traditional values and liberties. She is the author of several books and talks, including The Parenting Breakthrough, Strangling Your Husband Is Not an Option; In Trying Times, Just Keep Trying. and her most recent, “The Mismatched Nativity.” I have owned Merrilee's book, The Parenting Breakthrough since I was a newlywed. I think it was part of a bundle that was giving out at a conference because it was a new book.  I loved reviewing its contents in preparation to talk to the author.  It is a very inspiring book that is a guidebook for parents to give their children life skills.  There is even a list of what skills children should learn by what age.  Merrilee has so many amazing tips for preparing her kids for adulthood, and she includes them all in that book. There are so many great tips and tools in this interview, from how to know when your kids are ready to learn a new skills, to money management, to preparing your kids for the workforce by lining them up with internships while they are teenagers!  So many incredible tips and tools here! To be clear, Merrilee is not so supportive of "free range parenting."  Her perspective is about being supportive and training our children up to be independent by mentoring, coaching, training, teaching, and nurturing.  Depending on your interpretation of free-range parenting, this does not include selfishness or simply dumping your child out into the world and expecting them to figure it out! How to find Merrilee: merrileeboyack.com facebook/merrboyack Resources mentioned in this episode (includes affiliate links): Merrilee's books:The Parenting Breakthrough: Real-Life Plan to Teach Kids to Work, Save Money, and Be Truly Independent, Strangling Your Husband is Not An Option: A Practical Guide to Dramatically Improving Your Marriage, Merrilee Boyack John Rosemond: New Parent Power; Toilet Training Without Tantrums Parent Effectiveness Training by Thomas Gordon How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare You Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims

BOLAJI O (DOCTOR HERO) is a superhero movie producer and the bestselling author of the 50-book Brave Young Heroes series.  His goal is to give every kid who’s ever felt like an underdog, a superhero that is just like them. Bolaji uses story to teach children how to overcome adversity, and change the world. This is another longer episode, but SO worth it!  I had such a great conversation with Bolaji!  He's such an amazing person, and it was so easy to talk about this topic with him.  There are so many great gems in this episode! Bolaji and I start our conversation talking about how he got started on his journey as an entrepreneur.  I loved this part of our conversation because this is something I have been learning about myself, especially after my conversation with MJ DeMarco, the entrepreneur and author.  He talks about the hero's journey, just like I talked about with Kathy Mellor in more detail, and how he was reluctant to answer the call to do something different than the status quo at first.  He told of the inspiration for starting his journey and changing the course of his life. Then, Bolaji talks about the inspiration for why he writes about super heroes to help kids cope with the trials of their lives.   There is a subtle difference between super villains and super heroes.  We can all raise our kids to be super, but are we also guiding them to be heroes?  Bolaji talks about what distinguishes heroes from villains.  The difference comes from how the heroes and villains react to trauma, and whether they have the virtues Bolaji lists as qualities of a hero in his latest book (below). Gem: "Are we preparing the path for our children or are we preparing our children for the path?" We talked in detail about his new book I, S.U.P.E.R.: How to Raise a Superhero; and what each letter in the acronym stands for: I - Identity S - Super Powers U - Unlimited Gratitude P - Purpose E - Empathy R - Resilience You will have to listen to find out how each of these apply to the hero's journey, and how they distinguish heroes from villains.  We can incorporate each of these traits into our family culture through our values, our conversations, in the way we instruct and discipline.  We are guiding our children to be heroes, not just to be super.  Make super hero training a part of your family culture by supporting the hero in each of our kids. Find Bolaji: Brave Young Heroes: braveyoungheroes.com Facebook Twitter Instagram   Other resources mentioned (Affiliate links included): Unscripted: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Entrepreneurship by MJ DeMarco Audible - great for listening to all your favorite audiobooks: Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday Brett Culp: Mentor to Bolaji Martin Seligman - Positive Psychology Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell The Talent Code: Greatness isn't Born. It's Grown. Here's How. by Daniel Coyle

MJ DeMarco is a semi-retired entrepreneur, investor, self-made multimillionaire and international best-selling author of The Millionaire Fastlane and Unscripted, Life Liberty, and the Pursuit of Entrepreneurship. He currently is the founder of Viperion Corporation, a small publishing company and The Fastlane Forum, a worldwide  global business community with over 40,000 entrepreneurs registered and over 500,000  contributions.   Update: For some reason, the last few minutes of the recording was cut off, so I re-uploaded the episode to include the conclusion of the episode.  Thank you for your patience! You'll notice this episode is a bit longer than the usual length of my podcast. I normally keep my discussions under forty-five minutes! I guess that just shows how important this discussion is to me.  I don't know if I did the topic justice, but I hope that you will take the time to listen to the whole episode because there are some gems about how to be open-minded about the way our culture at large shapes our mindsets around education, finances, and our day-to-day norms. Raising our children to be, and becoming entrepreneurial-minded ourselves, begins with education, namely becoming cognizant of the biases and constructs that make up the "script" or what I like to call the "conveyor belt." When I read MJ's books, I felt like I had just seen the Matrix, and I had just taken the "red pill" and woke up! While it is a good idea to budget, and stay out of debt and be responsible, MJ goes into such detail on how to truly be financially free that it woke me up to a whole new concept of what freedom really is. Financial freedom comes from creating relative value by creating a system that is duplicatable that exists outside of your time, designed to pay you time and money.  These systems can be physical products, digital products, or anything that can be perpetuated or duplicated that you invent or create that brings value and impact to the world around you. These systems aren't necessarily going to be something that you are passionate about.  Being an entrepreneur requires work and investing a great deal of time and energy especially at the beginning stages of development.  However, the amount of time to create an entrepreneurial system may take five to ten years, as opposed to the forty to fifty years required to create financial "freedom" in a corporate setting. Winning inspires passion.  When you start seeing the results of your efforts, you will feel passionate about the work you are putting in to create your future. Even if you create something that is challenging or difficult to create, you do it knowing that you are creating a wealth system that will eventually lead to freedom. I talk with MJ about how we can raise our kids to be aware of the biases in our educational systems, in our political systems, in our media (briefly), and how we can teach our kids that they have options. We don't have to default to following the "script" that MJ talks about in his books.  I talk about unschooling, but I don't want you to think that homeschooling or unschooling is the only way to prepare our kids to be aware of these social constructs.  Just teaching them how to recognize the messages of the script will help them to become more free to choose their lifestyle, and to realize there are options for their education and careers. We are so conditioned to think that going to a good college, having degrees, and getting a good job is the only way to success.  But, what if there were other ways that didn't involve a crazy amount of student debt, or trading your weekdays for a weekend? Technology has made it easier to get education in more unconventional ways, and has made becoming an entrepreneur easier in a lot of ways. Like MJ said,

Wendy Ulrich, PhD, MBA, has been a practicing psychologist for over twenty years, and is the co-author with Dave Ulrich of the Wall Street Journal best seller, The Why of Work: How Great Leaders Build Abundant Organizations that Win (2010, McGraw Hill), as well as other books on personal change including Forgiving Ourselves: Getting Back Up When We Let Ourselves Down and Weakness is Not Sin: The Liberating Distinction that Awakens our Strengths. She is the founder of Sixteen Stones Center for Growth, providing seminar-retreats on personal growth and creating an abundant life, and she is a learning partner with the RBL Group. She has taught psychology at Brigham Young University, and is a fellow and former president of the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapists. I like to say that I am a recovering perfectionist.  Forgiving ourselves it about allowing yourself some grace to do what Wendy says, quoting Beverly Flanigan: giving up the hope of ever having a better past.  Just move on from where you are, and do enough to make progress with what tools and skills you have. Wendy says that "mental health is the ability to respond to what really is from our deepest values."  That's what I'm learning.  When I think about forgiveness, the words that come to my mind are meekness and humility, faith, vulnerability, and trust.  In order to apologize legitimately, we need to be humble, open and vulnerable.  That vulnerability is not weakness, but it opens us up to be trusted, and to be forgiven. Wendy tells a cool story about a couple working to overcome the husband's addiction, and another about her willingness to help her young son stop hitting. She shares some tips on how to apologize and how to strengthen the family with forgiveness. I liked what Wendy says about weakness not being a sin.  I think it can be compared to what Brené Brown says in her books about shame - that shame is not the same as guilt.  Guilt means 'I did something bad' while shame is ' I AM bad.' When you think your weakness is a sin, you feel ashamed and you may not feel like you can change so easily, if at all.  But feeling guilty means you can overcome the weakness with time and effort.  Guilt is an invitation to change something that you feel bad about, and that's OK.  Shame, on the other hand, may suppress the feelings that compel change because you assume change is not possible.  Weakness is just a natural part of being human.  When weaknesses are pointed out, it doesn't have to be shameful.  It's just an invitation for growth. Wendy's Site: Sixteen Stones Center for Growth Affiliate Links:  These books are Wendy's books, and also books I have read that apply to this discussion. Wendy Ulrich Amazon Page Beverly Flanigan books on forgiveness The 12 Week Year mentions that to be effective, we need to be accountable, that accountability is not so much consequences, as ownership. Crucial Conversations is a great book about how to have a discussion about difficult things.  We have a tendency to revert to "silence or violence" whenever we are confronted or challenged.  This book taught me that you can have important conversations even when the person I'm talking to wants to run or fight. Love & Respect is a marriage book that has helped me understand how couples can undermine each others' needs because they aren't sensitive to a wife's need for love, and a husband's need for respect. Excellent read. Daring Greatly is by Brene Brown.  If you haven't read any of her books, you need to.  This book is life-changing.  It's about how vulnerability is crucial to our development and growth, that empathy is the remedy for shame, and to overcome anything we need to show up and be willing to face the consequences.   | | | | | |

Jody Moore is the owner and Lead Coach at Bold New Mom where she helps women with LDS values improve their relationships, their confidence and their lives. She believes that if you want to impact the world, the most effective entry point is mothers. She is honored to work with adult women as well as young girls helping them to become the next version of themselves. Jody has a Master’s Degree in Adult Education and Training and she is a Certified Coach through The Life Coach School where she also works part time helping new coaches achieve their business goals. Prior to becoming a full-time Coach Jody worked in a corporate setting as a Leadership Coach and Corporate Trainer.  She currently resides in Washington State with her husband and four young children. Jody and I had a great discussion about why moms are so important, and why she has chosen to focus on moms in her efforts to lend support and guidance.  Jody is a mom, too, and she has learned great skills in the corporate setting that will help moms.  In the corporate world, people get to have retreats, personality tests, and things that help with employee development, but moms need those kinds of things for their development, too!  I have found that for myself I love reading business books because they help me learn to take care of myself, and be a better mom.  It seems like corporate culture is one of those things that people understand and will pay big bucks to develop, but family culture is really the same thing.  When we take the same tools corporations use to develop their culture, we can use them for our family culture!   Affiliate disclosure page The following links may be affiliate links. Jody's Site and Podcast: boldnewmom.com  Bold New Mom podcast (iTunes) Jody's classes Other resources discussed in this episode: Entreleadership podcast (iTunes) Gabrielle Berstein The Universe Has Your Back Marianne Willimanson  A Return to Love What got you here won't get you there Sell or be Sold Leadership and Self-Deception The Anatomy of Peace 10% Happier

Traditions are one of the important keys in shaping our family culture.  Traditions shape our family stories and create an identity, and shape values and priorities.  In an article by The Art of Maniliness, traditions come in daily, weekly, and monthly forms.  They also come in seasonal forms.  Perhaps your family has an annual road trip, or have a special way to initiate a new school year.  Maybe you have a seasonal purging session in your house each year, or "spring cleaning".  Yes, even those are family traditions.  I love holidays because it's like an annual reminder to foster some tradition.  Holidays tend to come with some expected traditions that are based on national or ethnic norms.  This can make it easier to have traditions, but it can also make it easier to fall into default traditions rather than designing customs that serve your family culture.  In this episode I discuss how we can evaluate the traditions and values we have around this holiday season, and how to be more deliberate. If you follow me on social media, you may have seen my post about what I like to do when I’m out shopping with my kids.  With the holiday season approaching, it’s like kids just know they can start asking for stuff.  Instead of enduring their “gimmies” all season, or waiting until the last minute to figure out what they want, I have a little trick.  When we are out, my kids will always see something that sparks their interest.  At first, they would ask if they could get it.  Of course, I cannot get them every little thing they ask for, but I also don’t want to have mega tantrums every time we go out.  In the book, How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk, when kids say something like, I want to fly to the moon, you say something like, wouldn’t that be so cool, instead of, don’t be silly.  Or when they say, I wish I could get all the toys in the whole toy store, you say, Wow, what would that be like!  Just last week, my kids had all their Halloween candy in a big pile on the floor, and I announced I was going to eat all the candy, and pretended to ravenously shove handfuls of candy in my mouth.  We laughed and laughed at how silly that idea would be!  So, when my kids bounce up to me with something that makes their heart sore, I tell them I will add it to their list, take a quick pic of their beaming faces holding the thing, and they happily put it back on the shelf. As far as gifts go, I read once that it would be cool to get “a thing to wear and thing to read, a thing they want, a thing they need.”  In theory, that sounds pretty good.  But it was way too simple.  While I appreciate the minimalist approach, it didn’t end up working for us.  So, I started thinking about what would work.  We don’t want to keep loading up on toys, so our policy for gifts became about things that we felt would serve our goals.  So, each birthday and Christmas, we choose a book, a puzzle or game, and an experience, and one thing they really want.  This is expanded to include one thing that encourages movement, and the experience can include anything from concert tickets to class tuition.  I love doing this because it makes the focus on experience, quality time, and developing knowledge and skills.  We don’t need more toys, but my kids always love getting more games, projects, and experiences.  I have created for you a 20-page list of ideas based on this idea of avoiding toy gifts, and focusing on experiences and relationships.  You an access my list here. Other mentions in this episode: Episode 013: Kathy Mellor My 175+ Toy-Free Gift Ideas The Art of Manliness on Family Culture Art of Manliness 60 Family Tradition Ideas 25 ways to Light The World The Red-Headed Hostess: Light The World

Download Mary Ann's guide for creating a family mission statement email me: Mary Ann Johnson is the mother of seven children and has been happily married for 46 years and blessed with 13 grandchildren and is a family connection expert. Her book, Becoming a Present Parent, focuses on what she knows and does best – helping children and parents connect.  She has presented her Presence concepts in workshops and webinars for over seven years. You can get a FREE chapter of her new book at becomingapresentparent.com Her website, maryannjohnsoncoach.com, is an online community reaching thousands of people. She created Family Connection Mentoring and is well known in the homeschool community as The Home School Coach. Excerpt from the description of Becoming a Present Parent: "Small and simple things, done consistently over time, bring the greatest rewards. In as little as five minutes you can become a Present Parent. Connect with your children in the big and small moments you share with them every day and help them reach their potential-all without adding to your to-do list. Mary Ann Johnson, the Present Parenting guru, shares the simplest methods you can use to build lasting relationships with your children. Use technology wisely-not as a crutch Create transitions that all will enjoy Learn to be consistent, not perfect Establish goals and healthy habits for your family Change the little moments into big opportunities Give your children more time, more engagement, more you! Find purpose, intent, and happiness in parenting and build a strong bond with each of your children." Nuggets from this episode: No family is perfect! Families come together with baggage You can have joy in the process CONSISTENCY IS THE NO. 1 KEY TO SUCCESS Family culture is just like corporate culture Family culture happens either by default or by design Steps in the process of designing your family culture Modeling, parameters, and boundaries shape the feelings in the family Intention is "a design a purpose, the fixed direction of the mind, to a particular object, or the determination to act in a specific manner" How to remind your family every day of your family intention Our journey is like a road trip with red lights and green lights along the way Religion is only a guideline for our culture, but we must decide for ourselves what our family culture is Being consistent is the glue that keeps your family together Creating an intention for your family can be so simple Family intention is open for revision periodically I have been thinking a lot about Mary Ann's message about family culture by design or default.  Your family intentions will be unique to your family and what your needs are.  Right now, my family functions on survival mode, so we know a lot about those "red-light" days Mary Ann is talking about.  But, you can still be intentional even on those days, weeks, or months by opening up to your family and discussing what your intentions are going to look like during those times.  Being intentional about your family culture doesn't mean that everything is going to always be perfect.  But, you will still be on course if you are committed to your vision and goals for your family. Thank you for visiting my site.  Please, share your thoughts and comments, follow me on social media @familyculturepodcast (click the link in my profile for more) or @_FamilyCulture.  You can also subscribe on many of the available podcasting apps, like iTunes, Stitcher, Podbean, TuneIn, and even YouTube. Affiliate Links: