Our Modern Heritage: The Home & Family Culture Podcast

When my oldest turned nine this year, it really dawned on me that we are already halfway through her childhood, and that we only have as much time left with her as we've had so far. It was alarming to think that we really only have nine short years left with her! This idea that we only have these 18 Summers with our children is so important to remember. We aren't going to suddenly have a good relationship with them when they are teens, or adults! The relationships we have with our children needs to start when they are young by establishing regular times when you can spend quality time together. Jim calls these times "rhythms" that allow him to have regular, consistent times with his wife and children to foster communication and strengthen the relationship one-on-one. He calls them the family board meetings. He talks about all of these rhythms in his book "The Family Board Meeting: You Have 18 Summers to Create Lasting Connection with Your Children."  The reality is that whether you're an entrepreneur or not, life is busy. And, life can get away from us if we aren't intentional about how we spend our time. Jim talks about how important it is to be grounded in your values, and making sure that family is at the heart of your priorities. When we lose that connection with our family, we are left feeling guilty and depressed. Our family connections can not only strengthen us, they can heal us! Introducing Jim Sheils We only have 18 summers with our children, and the time goes by fast! Overwork is a "badge of honor" that detracts from family time Work and family life required integration Jim shares his story about establishing a relationship with his sons Board meetings are the "crazy glue" The "board meeting" Jim's definition of family culture The difference between rhythms and habits How to establish these rhythms and encourage your family to participate Quality time spent with the individual is not time to lecture or have a hidden agenda. Simple and effective board meetings Where to connect with Jim My closing remarks About Jim Motivated by what he saw as one of the most tragic challenges of modern life—the disconnection of busy entrepreneurs from their families—Jim developed the Family Board Meeting process to help business owners bridge the gaps between themselves and their loved ones. Since then, both Jim’s message and his book, the Amazon best-seller “The Family Board Meeting,” have spread around the globe. Often called “Crazy Glue” for families, Jim’s popular and simple frameworks now reach thousands of parents worldwide, helping them feel more connected with their kids, be happier at home and leave a lasting legacy. Jim is the founder of 18 Summers, which specializes in live events, workshops and private consulting for organizations looking to strengthen their family lives while still succeeding in business. He’s an in-demand public speaker, and owns a private real estate company that has done more than $200 million in transactions. Jim is an avid surfer and enjoys traveling with family and friends, especially his beautiful wife Jamie and their four children, Alden, Leland, Magnolia, and Sampson. His greatest adventure to date? Donating a kidney to the best guy on the planet, his father. To contact Jim about media appearances or speaking at your event, visit www.JimSheils.com or www.18Summers.com   This post contains affiliate links. For more information, click this link.

Every culture needs to be intentional. Establishing your values starts with understanding that you are a leader as a parent, and that you are always being observed by your children. Always being honest as a parent is the foundation of integrity for your family. It all starts with us leading out with our example of living our values. I've been thinking a lot about this concept of being goal-oriented and how this is what having a family culture is all about. When you have a set vision for your family, then you have to set goals to achieve those ends. Becoming goal-oriented means getting clear on that vision, getting clear on why you do what you do, and setting clear boundaries for how to achieve those goals. Marissa talks a lot about being very values-centered, and that she would reinforce their goals and vision by reinforcing their values. I also think that there is something to this when it comes to culture in general. I recently read a book that discusses poverty culture, and how often those in poverty cannot see into long-term ends because they need to tackle their immediate problems. While my family is far from being in poverty, I feel that I often catch myself getting distracted by the immediate crisis that I forget about the long-term gains of staying focused on a larger goal. I will likely post an episode on this next week, so I won't go into it too much here. I just think this is something that is very important for developing our family culture: our beliefs, our mindset, and our habits filter through to become our culture. Introducing Marissa The importance of being intentional Components of a successful culture: leadership, ownership How to encourage your kids to adopt your vision and values How to cultivate open communication with your children How to develop trust between parents and children Kids have a responsibility to use their opportunities and resources to fulfill their potential Upholding boundaries How to encourage goals-centered thinking, and encouraging children with ADD or ADHD, etc. How to cultivate a legacy Marissa's final word of advice Where to connect with Marissa About Marissa Website: https://www.successfulculture.com inc.com profile LinkedIn Twitter A 25-year entrepreneur, speaker, & globally recognized growth strategist, Marissa’s lifetime legacy mission is to educate, equip, & empower 100 million entrepreneurs & leaders with the skillsets and mindsets they need to reach their greatest potential. Marissa Levin’s entrepreneurial journey began in 1995 when she launched Information Experts, a strategic communications and education firm. She launched her firm as a solopreneur with a $35,000 contract and led/grew the organization to approximately $13 million in revenue until she resigned in 2012. Under her leadership, Information Experts won more than 80 awards for creativity & leadership, was named to the Inc. 5000 List of America’s Fastest Growing Companies for 2009, 2010, and 2011, won the 2010 SmartCEO GovStar Industry Star Award, and was known as a trailblazer in establishing an extraordinary employee-centric culture that fully supported work-life integration and a core value of "responsible flexibility." In 2012, she launched Successful Culture, a leadership consulting organization that helps CEOs master the 3 most critical aspects of busi- ness growth: leadership development, strategy formulation & execution, and organizational culture assessment & improvement. In 2017, she co-founded Women’s CEO Roundtable, a professionally facilitated year-long program for women business owners from non- competing organizations that are committed to scaling beyond $1 million in revenue.

My life has been a roller coaster around friendships. I learned early on about rejection. Family friends were the way to go when I was little, but then during elementary school, it was all about BFFs. I had a close friend for three years, and then she actually dumped me in middle school. It was rough. I spent the rest of those middle school years virtually friendless. I lived right next door to my school, so I got a laminated pass to go home for lunch where I would spend the hour snacking and watching the A-Team.  Things changed again when I got into high school. Kids who knew my older siblings took me under their wing, and I became a band geek (only not totally geeky since I played the drums), and my confidence grew. Through my junior and senior years, I had friends in all sorts of groups, mostly because I hated cliques and I refused to join one. I remained somewhat charismatic beyond high school. When I got home from serving a mission for my church, I had few reservations. My true charisma shined, and a friend even described me as having an "electric personality." I could be friends with anyone, and I made it my goal to make anyone I met feel welcome and accepted. I was enthusiastic about life, and loved meeting people. This was probably the happiest season of my life to date. When Michael and I got married, we thrust ourselves into a crazy transition. We were newly married for one whole week when we moved across the country to go to school. It took us a good six months to recover from that. But, we were given assignments at church that brought us out of our shell, and we loved feeling valued and connected. Then, ten years ago we hit our crisis mode. We'd moved into a new area and struggled to make deep connections. Noelle talks about this in the episode, that the hardest times to make friends is during a transition. We were in severe transition when shortly after we moved, we started having children. For the eight years we lived in that area, we made few deep friendships. I had a falling out with my very closest friend in the world, and it was an incredibly lonely time. Michael and I grew very close as a couple, but we have always struggled with this missing element in our lives. Having friends is crucial. I discuss the important of friendship in my 30-Day Coping Challenge how important friendships are to our ability to be resilient. Friends help us cope with our insecurities, they help us resolve our conflicts, and lend a compassionate ear. They help us feel acceptance, and grace. They are there to make us laugh, or to vent, or to coach us through a rough time. When we value friending in our family culture, we teach our children what it means to be a friend, how to make friends, we model friending for them, and we are consistently making our friends a priority in our lives. Don't underestimate the importance of our friendships! Why I'm vulnerable about friending About Noelle Noelle's inspiration for starting her podcast Grown-up friendship is no joke Why is friendship so important? Why is it so hard to make friends? The antidote to shame is connection Busyness is belief that we are important. We need to give that up to make room for our friendships. Be invested in your people How to make friends when you don't want to Have the courage to be disliked - to take the chance on people to like you, or not. What demographic has a harder time making friends? Look for our similarities rather than focus on our differences Noelle's advice for people who have anxiety or depression, or are introverts, for making friends. Friending and family culture Be practical when teaching kids how to make friends. Be specific about exact behaviors that make friends. Dealing with your kids' friendship struggles...

Last night I had a dream that woke me up like a nightmare, but the weird this is, it wasn't a scary dream. Still, I woke up shook and afraid. Here's what happened: I dreamed my family had gotten a nice new car. We were preparing to park it in a city, and trying to figure out how to hide our valuables so we wouldn't draw attention to our car when we left it. For some reason, I got out of the car to try and figure out this detail, and I'd forgotten to put the car in park. We realized this when the car actually started to roll away! I panicked! I started chasing the car, running as fast as I could! I was upset, and shouting at anyone I could see for help. I saw the car twist and turn down the street, rolling down hills and out of sight. I could see in the distance a highway, or series of highways where I knew my car would be destroyed if it got that far. When I caught up to the car, it had crashed, and authorities were already clearing the debris. I was so upset, and I woke up jolted by the trauma of what I'd just witnessed in my dream. I asked Michael to help me figure out the meaning, and at first we both thought of chasing after the world and temporary pleasures. But, then I thought about it a little deeper. I realized that my dream meant that we had been distracted by the details of the situation and our vehicle slipped away. If family culture is the vehicle, what happens if it escapes us? What happens if we aren't inside steering where it goes? It is up to us to define where that vehicle is going to take us, but we need to get inside and start driving! Lately, I've learned that part of my own personal problem with making the decision to get in and drive is I always second-guess myself! I always question myself! Then, I heard this scripture during a talk: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:5-8 KJV). When I heard "a double minded man is unstable in all his ways" my mind went directly to the realization that I was always second-guessing myself. I knew that by always doubting myself, I was as good as being double-minded! In this episode, I go into more detail about how to solve this double-mindedness, and get clear on your identity and purpose, as individuals and families! I describe my dream Interpreting the dream Quote: "'Company culture' doesn't exist apart from the company itself: no company has a culture; every company is a culture." Peter Thiel, Zero to One What does it mean to be intention? My feelings of self-doubt and second-guessing myself Get in the car! James 1:5-8 Double mindedness and how to solve it. Adulting requires us to live our own lives and follow our dreams Keep the vision in front of you every day to keep it clear Discover yourself on the path!  The Matrix analogy Do the work of developing your family culture by doing those things that reveal who you are and develop your character as a family The Family Reset from TJEd and Rachel DeMille. "Living After the Manner of Happiness" by Jeffrey R. Holland the mind dump by Mel Robbins Time blocking Resources mentioned in this episode: "Firm and Steadfast in the Faith of Christ" by D. Todd Christofferson "Zero to One" by Peter Thiel "How to Raise an Adult" by Julie Lythcott-Haim "The 6-Point Plan: Advice for new Homeschoolers and Families Needing a 'Reset'" by Rachel DeMille "Living After the Manner of Happiness" by Jeffrey R. Holland

About this Episode I've been learning a lot lately about why it's so important to have an entrepreneurial mindset, and it isn't just to become an entrepreneur. I've been listening to a talk by Oliver DeMille of A Thomas Jefferson Education (tjed.org), and he talks a lot about the development of our economy and our education. In this talk I've been listening to, he's talking about how our society has come through an institutional era, and has now crossed into an innovation era. Yet, our education and our beliefs are still stuck in the institutional era. There are still reasons why we need institutions, and institutional education, but our economy is shifting toward the development of innovation. I've been talking so much about entrepreneurship because I think this is an important concept for shaping our family culture so that we can develop this idea of supporting our families to be more intentional. Being intentional often means being innovative, creative, and adaptable. In this episode with Chaz, we talk a lot about how families can intentionally support opportunities for developing an innovative attitude through service, through intentionally creating memorable experiences with neighbors and friends, and through helping our children be more capable of giving of their talents and resources. Chaz says, "show up filled up" meaning that we don't walk into situations, like neighborhoods, church, work, or even school, waiting to be given something. We show up asking ourselves "what can I contribute?" Being resourceful makes it easier to network, and to make an impact through your own contributions. When that becomes a habit, you begin to build a reputation of service and resourcefulness that allows you to connect with people who need help, or can help you reach your goals. A family culture that values service, resourcefulness, connection with our friends and neighbors, innovation, creativity, and building a legacy is what my message is all about. I want to help you find ways to instill these values into your family culture, and that's what this episode is all about. Time Stamps Chaz's bio. Chaz's experience with starting a business after losing his job.  Get out of God's way to follow His path for you. God readies you to do what He wants you to do to -- it's an evolution of your life, a process of growing. It's important to keep ourselves open to new relationships and opportunities. Every experience builds on developing skills and knowledge that prepare you for what can happen down the road. The importance of building relationships, and intentionally planning opportunities for our families to connect with our community. People are becoming more internal and aren't going out to interact with their neighbors so much because everything is so organized. Being unstructured, or even planning experiences for unstructured time with neighbors encourages creativity. Chaz describes an experience with interacting with some friendly millennials who he describes are non-judgmental and tolerant. There are many types of entrepreneurs, and many don't even have a business plan. The importance of networking and "show up filled up". Learn to use your gifts to follow the path God shows you. Don't be afraid to leave an unrewarding job when something else is calling you to innovate. Younger generation is better at taking risk, although it is important to build a solid reputation and repertoire  of experience. Even institutional/professional occupations need to be business owners: doctors, lawyers, etc. Services are available in most communities to help develop business skills and networking. Connect with Chaz. About Chaz Chaz Freutel is blessed to have served and currently serve many ...

About this episode There are so many similarities to starting and growing a business, and growing a family. When you start a business, you need to have a clear reason why you’re doing what you do, and a goal about how to accomplish your purposes. You need to create a mission statement. There are also skills that entrepreneurs have that support family culture, and ways to encourage the values that support your family. Things like, perseverance, and service come up in this conversation.   Such an important concept! I have learned so much about the importance of failure as a way to learn how to be resilient, and to develop a growth mindset. You cannot grow if you are always afraid of failure, or if your decisions are always fear-based.  Christopher and I covered a bit about how his parents encouraged him to be an entrepreneur in the way the ran their homeschool. He said that they started out being very “hands-on” when he was young, guiding him, coaching, and correcting a lot. But that as he grew older, closer to high school, they started to back off, and allow Christopher to learn from his own experiences and choices. He started to learn how to be accountable for his own choices, and recognizing that the outcome depended on him.  Not every kid is going to want to become an entrepreneur, but this idea of supporting our kids to be independent is crucial for their own creativity, freedom, and life satisfaction. I’ve been thinking a lot about this as I homeschool my children how much This is also important to family culture because I think that we sometimes forget about our ‘why’ for our family vision because we get distracted by voices outside of our family. It’s important that we learn how to be intentional about what our own family vision is in spite of what others might be saying. Time Stamps Christopher tells us about the inspiration for starting his business Christopher's homeschool experience growing up, and how his parents transitioned into a more "hands-off" style as he became a teenager Christopher's thoughts about what family culture means Creating a mission statement Characteristics of developing an entrepreneurial mindset Christopher discusses how families can encourage kids to be entrepreneurs Books the Christopher recommends for starting a business About Christopher Christopher O’Rear is a homeschool graduate now entering his junior year at Boyce College in Louisville, KY. Having grown up around small business, he was eager to put his learning into practice, and by the age of 18 had opened a small social media marketing firm. By the age of 20, he had developed an online entrepreneurial course that teaches students about the nuts and bolts of starting and running a small business. He currently serves as the CEO of this business course, 1-2-3 Entrepreneur!, and also serves as the President of Boyce College’s student-led business group, The Boaz Society. In his free time, he enjoys playing piano, playing soccer for his college's varsity team, and having deep talks with friends. www.my1040academy.com http://facebook.com/123entrepreneur http://instagram.com/123entrepreneur Books Christopher Recommends (click on the image) (This post contains affiliate links).

I had a great time talking with Jade, and catching up with her! She and I met eleven years ago while attending school at Brigham Young University. Since then, we both have started our families, and our projects! Jade started her blog, Jonesin’ for Taste nine years ago to share her favorite easy recipes, and maybe earn a little income on the side. Her husband’s job over the years has had a varied schedule so she has had to find creative ways to have family meals together every day. It’s incredible how mealtime is such an anchor for our families to spend time together and talk, and experience new cuisines together. It can be challenging to learn about new recipes with our busy and stressful lives, especially when those recipes have unfamiliar ingredients or a long list of steps. Jade is on a mission to help families introduce new food to our families without sacrificing quality, or time with our families.  In fact, she has teamed up with Jenni over at The Gingered Whisk to create a Global Cuisine Challenge this month! You can go over to https://thegingeredwhisk.com/family-global-eating-challenge/ and subscribe for the challenge. There will be new ideas each week from different regions of the world. And, not just recipes. Jade and Jenni will be suggesting videos or TV shows that will encourage your family to try new food, foreign language phrases to go along with each region, as well as live discussions, and giveaways!  Jade and I discussing the challenges of feeding our families Jade and I talk about how blogging and freelance is shaping family culture Dietary challenges while feeding our family Jade talks about her family culture and fitting mealtime together each day with their varying schedules The challenges of depression and expectations Jade tells us about the Global Cuisine Challenge About Jade: Jade currently lives in Southern California with her husband and 3 children, one girl and two boys.  On her blog Jonesin’ For Taste she creates easy recipes that allow you to explore the amazing flavors of the world AND spend more time together as a family and less time in the kitchen. Jade is a huge Harry Potter nerd, loves Winnie the Pooh, and is not so secretly obsessed with brownies. You can usually find her binge watching episodes of The Great British Bake Off, crocheting or sewing, or reading a book from her gigantic stash. Jade's website: https://jonesinfortaste.com Social media: Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram

It's still Tuesday somewhere, right! I felt like I owe it to you to explain why there was no regularly scheduled episode. I want to be consistent with you, and provide you with useful content every week! Subscribe to my newsletter, and join me on Instagram for updates! Thank you for following along on this journey!

I learned so much from Kerry, and the importance of unstructured time. I have been focusing a lot of my studies lately around coping skills, and she and I talked about this idea that we all have a coping strategy to escape from our stressful lives, right?! How often do we come home from a stressful day and watch TV? Well, kids spend time on their devices because it is their way of coping with how over scheduled their lives are! When our kids are spending lots of time on their devices, we need to give them more freedom, and with freedom, they will be less likely to engage in these escape-type coping mechanisms. But, with that freedom, we need to provide them with opportunities. This can be challenging since it isn't as easy to encourage free play, or less structured time. We are often coerced into the institutionalizing everything we do as families. We turn them over to our schools, day cares, camps, sports, and classes to keep them busy. We parents need to be more deliberate about creating space, and opportunity for our kids to explore their freedom and engage in productive activities without the pressure of doing things because they are required by some institution. As parents, we need to figure out how to get away from over-scheduling their lives. Subscribe here to take the challenge to improve your coping strategies and get away from the cycle of stress and consolation! One important reason is the decline of play. Studies are showing a correlation between play deprivation to mental disorders! Watch this video of Kerry's colleague, Peter Gray explaining why play is so important: "The Decline of Play." Kerry makes a distinction between structured time, and providing opportunities for engaging in productive activities on their own. Kerry gives an example of a camp called Camp Stomping Ground where kids have free time most of the week they are at camp, and they have unlimited access to electronics! But, they also provide lots of opportunities to do other productive things! The might be playing a video game, but then they see a shaving cream fight going on and get swept into the action. Soon, the devices hold little interest because there is so much going on to capture their attention. Plus, they don't have anything to escape from because they experience freedom all week. This all reminded me of my conversation with Carol Danaher in episode 036 where we talk about allowing more freedom for kids at the dinner table. But, something to remember is that not everything is going to be OK according to your family standards. Kerry talks about a study by Peter Gray on civilizations that provide their children with access to adult tools including bows and arrows, except for their poison darts. Even when we are providing freedom for our children, we will all have those "poison darts" that we will always want to guard our families from. They may be different in every family, but we will all have something we believe our kids should not have access to. Have better coping skills in thirty days with these powerful constructive coping skills: 30-Day Coping Challenge So, what are your family's "poison darts"? What are your important values? How can you create space for your children to have freedom so they can create a life they don't need to escape from? Do you have that kind of life? Wouldn't you like to have that kids of a life?! About Kerry: Kerry McDonald is an education policy writer and unschooling advocate whose articles have appeared at Forbes, Newsweek, NPR, Education Next, and Natural Mother Magazine, among others. She first became interested in alternatives to school while a graduate student in education at Harvard, but it wasn’t until she became a mom that homeschooling and Self-Directed Education really resonated. Kerry is the author of the forthcoming book, Unschooled: Raising Curious,

Throughout this episode, Connor often refers to the importance of incentives. In any situation, there are rewards and there are incentives. Incentives are the anticipation of a reward, and the reward comes after the work is done. Without an incentive, it may be harder to motivate yourself or others to do a job well done. There are some inherent incentives to certain things. For example, we have an incentive to earn a living so that we can provide for ourselves and our families, and avoid going into debt. We have a natural incentive to exercise, even a little, because we know that it will help us stay healthier than if we didn't. These are systems that work because we have motivation to follow a certain course to avoid unpleasant outcomes, or to affect desired rewards. Connor describes an example of an initiative in his state to encourage young entrepreneurs by setting up a summer farmers' market run only by kids. By learning about what it takes to run a business, these kids gain an incentive to learn about business accounting, production, and sales. Incentive is nothing more than being inspired because you can visualize the outcome. When that vision is blurry, or the promised rewards aren't received, those incentives dissolve. Even children can understand the proper role of government. This is how: The Tuttle Twins Series But what about an incentive to break from standard procedure to do something that deviates from the norm? What is the cost to you for going against standard systems that are "normal" for our society? If you are in a work setting, will you look insubordinate, or like you're brown-nosing? When family culture is concerned, if you do something that deviates from the norm, will it cost you friends, relatives, or maybe even a struggle with your own self-confidence?? These are the things I explore with family culture. We have an incentive to intentionally shape our family culture by doing what Connor is suggesting in this episode: to take some time to have the initial thought and creation of a plan, and then defending that plan. When we are intentional, we recognize when there is something that is worth defending. That takes work, and it takes commitment, and maybe some sacrifice. It isn't easy. Sometimes the promised rewards of family life, and intentional living don't seem to be there at times. Life is hard, and the challenges are real. Family culture is about getting clear on that vision so that we can realize that the incentive to keep up with our goals, and our values, and the culture we envision is important and worthwhile! The ability to work, and understand these things about family culture, are really interwoven into this idea of economic understanding. A free market society described by Connor is about how people interact in pursuit of a common goal. Our families have the capacity to develop these kinds of values, with education, and understanding that how we develop our culture matters. Our national culture is the aggregate of our family culture. Do your kids understand liberty? They will after reading this: The Tuttle Twins Series It's important to have these conversations with our families, to discuss what a free market is, and to discuss our place in this bigger puzzle of society. It's important to question whether the systems we adhere to are serving our family and encouraging these appropriate incentives, or if we are simply falling into an expected mode of thinking simply because that's just what is done. What I appreciate about the Tuttle Twins, and the work of FEE.org is that they are creating conversations around systems to help us recognize them for what they are. They are stirring our minds to consider whether we agree with societal expectations, or if we need to be a little more proactive about what is being offered. You can learn more about the Tuttle Twins by clicking the banner below or...

The time has finally arrived! A new season of the podcast! Announcing season 3 of the NEW home & family culture podcast! It is now "Our Modern Heritage" to represent the culmination of the collaboration and reconciliation between honoring history while writing our own. Family culture is about the values and traditions that make your family who you are, and it is about creating your own legacy while honoring the legacy of your ancestors. The mission of this brand is to help families intentionally discover and design their family culture to reflect the vision and values they have for their families. It isn't enough to rush around "putting out fires" or event to just defend ourselves. We need to create a solid offense, or plan for how to guard our family culture to keep it from falling apart. Learn more at http://homeandfamilyculture.com and follow along on Instagram at @familyculturepodcast   New episodes will be broadcast on Tuesdays, and I will host a live Q&A on Instagram on Thursdays at 7pm. I look forward to chatting with you about this topic, and I hope you know I am in your corner rooting for you and your family culture!    

It’s hard to say which would be more discouraging: drifting from job to job because you’re always the first to be laid off, or laboring in monotonous obscurity at the same job. The first results from not doing what you are told to do, the second from doing only what you are told to do. You can “get by” for a time following either approach, but you will never get ahead. Personal initiative is more important in today’s enlightened, high-tech workplace than it was during the Industrial Age, when the ability to follow orders was a critical skill. As technology makes many supervisory functions obsolete, every one of us is expected to do more with less, determine what needs to be done, and do it. Don’t wait to be told. Know your company and your job so well that you can anticipate what needs to be done — then do it! Stop explaining and start doing! --Napoleon Hill This post contains some affiliate links. Click here to learn more. I know that quote is about our corporate journeys, but it is about so much more than that. We need to know our families so well that we can anticipate what needs to be done. We need to be conscientious of our offense as much as our defense. I mean, we need to work on our own "can do" plans that protect our families and intentionally shape us. We need to plant good seeds, but also weed our gardens. This episode is basically a summary of what I have been learning from my experience with this podcast. It is also a heads up that I will be concluding the season and will resume episodes again in the fall, with gusto! Remember: "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" (Winston Churchill). Her are a few resources I mention in this episode: “There appears to be ‘no other way’ to learn certain things except through the relevant, clinical experiences. Happily, the commandment ‘Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart’ (Matthew 11:29) carries an accompanying and compensating promise from Jesus—'and ye shall find rest unto your souls.’ This is a very special form of rest. It surely includes the rest resulting from the shedding of certain needless burdens: fatiguing insincerity, exhausting hypocrisy, and the strength-sapping quest for recognition, praise, and power. Those of us who fall short, in one way or another, often do so because we carry such unnecessary and heavy baggage. Being thus overloaded, we sometimes stumble and then feel sorry for ourselves…However, if sufficient meekness is in us, it will not only help us to jettison unneeded burdens, but will also keep us from becoming mired in the ooze of self-pity. Furthermore, true meekness has a metabolism that actually requires very little praise or recognition” (Neal A. Maxell) Episodes referenced: Waters + Bennet Bolaji Oyejide Kathy Mellor Wonder Crate - Developing Social/Emotional Skills Books referenced: How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success Outwitting the Devil: The Secret to Freedom and Success The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Pocketbook Guide to Fulfilling Your Dreams For a full list go here: BOOKS   amzn_assoc_ad_type = "banner"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_placement = "assoc_banner_placement_default"; amzn_assoc_campaigns = "audible"; amzn_assoc_banner_type = "category"; amzn_assoc_isresponsive = "true"; amzn_assoc_banner_id = "150QW4V7HCHE6FFE8X02"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "familyculture-20"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "aa2ce6140c249fa8e877487402a2ee4f";

Kristen A. Jenson is the author of the Good Pictures Bad Pictures series of read-aloud books including the best-selling Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids and Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds. She is the founder of ProtectYoungMinds.org, a website dedicated to helping parents empower their kids to resist and reject pornography. Kristen is a popular guest on radio and TV broadcasts as well as podcasts and webinars. She is a leader in the Safeguard Alliance of the National Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation and has testified before the Washington State Senate Law and Justice Committee on the public health crisis of pornography. Kristen continues to be a strong voice for protecting children from all forms of sexual exploitation. Kristen is the mother of two daughters, and a son who is waiting for her in heaven. Her latest honor is becoming a grandma! She lives with her husband and sassy chocolate Schnoodle puppy in the beautiful state of Washington. Kristen earned a B.A. in English Literature and an M.A. in Organizational Communication. This Post Contains Affiliate Links Find Kristen and Protect Young Minds Website: www.ProtectYoungMinds.org Twitter: @ProtectYM Facebook: ProtectYM Instagram: @ProtectYoungMinds From this episode This is a difficult topic to discuss, but I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to talk about. Kristen tells us that porn is predatory. Kids do not have to look for it, it is looking for them. It will find them. The discussion needs to be centered around what our kids can do when porn finds them. Kristen offers several resources on her site to help parents with this topic, with media literacy, and creating a plan to help our families navigate this over-sexualized culture. Help children understand three things: what pornography is teach our children that pornography is dangerous have a plan for what to do when they see pornography Learn why filters are good for our devices, but more than that, we need to help our children develop internal filters. We need to be the ones talking to our children about pornography and sex so that we become the authority. They don't want to be the ones who don't understand when their peers refer to these things, so they are going to seek out this information. Parents need to be the authority and give their children permission to talk to them about these things. Protect Young Minds has amazing resources to help parents learn how to become their child's mentor to talk through difficult topics, and talk out big emotions. Parents can become the safety for kids who need to understand, and navigate their development into adulthood. As Kristen says, put on our big girl/big boy pants and talk about this stuff. Robyn Fivush, "Do you know" study Bobo the Clown aggression experiment "Switch: How to change when change is hard" by Chip and Dan Heath "The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do in life and business" by Charles Duhigg Covenant Eyes, accountability software Circle with Disney - Parental Controls and Filters for your Family’s Connected Devices PROTECT YOUNG MINDS LINKS: 20 Questions to create your family stories Why we don't depend on digital filters alone Tech Etiquette for the Digital Family - Free Download Family media standards - Free Download Digital citizenship 8 Books to Help you talk about sex Emotional Care Tags Note: around timestamp 30:55 is a trigger story. I left it to illustrate why children need to know all human anatomy,

Bonnie Ward Simon is President of Maestro Classics, the award-winning classical music company which produces the Stories in Music™ series for children and families featuring the London Philharmonic Orchestra. From 1989-1998, Bonnie was the Executive Director of the Washington Chamber Symphony, the resident chamber orchestra at the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts in Washington, DC. She has served as an advisor to Scholastic Publications and is an internationally published writer in the fields of music and children. Bonnie Ward Simon holds degrees in music (Vassar College) and music education (New Jersey State College), as well as Japanese Labor Relations, Modern Japanese History, and Ancient Chinese History (Columbia University). She has also taught middle school music, worked in administration at Carnegie Hall, and written extensively for Washington Parent Magazine. Before moving to Washington, DC, she served on the boards of directors of Carnegie Hall, the Guggenheim Museum of Art, and New York City Opera. Bonnie is the mother of Basil and Sebastian Simon, the stepmother of David, Daniel, James, and Adam Simon, and the pack leader for Lulu Simon, their golden retriever. She loves to sail, skis in the winter, travels, sews, knits, paints, and delights in the seasonal changes in Central Park. This post contains affiliate links. Click here for disclosure statements. I really enjoyed my discussion with Bonnie Simon of Maestro Classics. I learned a lot about how the company began, and why it can be so difficult to introduce our children to classical music! Music is the soundtrack of our lives. We can make our lives so much more interesting with music in our homes, and in our cars while we travel. The type of music is important, too, because we want our families to listen to good quality music, and music that is not degrading. Classical music is music that is complex, and interesting, and you can listen to it over and over and still hear something new. But, some people think that classical music is an acquired taste. Perhaps we just need to listen to better quality productions of classical music! What I love about Maestro Classics is that it is a way to introduce our families to classical music in a way that speaks to them on a level that is fun and engaging! My family has listened to “Peter and the Wolf” and “Casey at Bat” and “The Tortoise and the Hare” many times, and they are fun every time! This music, coupled with story, is exciting, and introduces our children to great quality music, and entertainment in a way only classical music can! Classical music is part of our cultural fabric of art, music, history, culture, and class. It is they type of music that exercises our brains and helps us to develop an affinity for something beautiful, powerful, and inspiring. Another resource Bonnie recommends for growing an appreciation for classical music is kickassclassical.com. It's a site where they pick out the best selections of classical music that make it exciting to listen to. Please listen through to the end of this episode because I get serious about why all of this even matters! We want our kids to grow up to be producers more than consumers. Being a producer doesn't mean they become entrepreneurial, necessarily. Our culture at large is steeped in consumerism as a means of coping with stress and anxiety, and life. But, we can never consume enough to ever be satisfied. However, if we could turn to productivity and creativity as a means of coping - WOW! The world would be a different place. Look back at my post about how we will all become whatever we think about, and if we spend our time giving up the opportunity costs that come from consuming in order to take on the benefits of producing, we would be a different people, and we would make a different impact on the world.

Morgen Reynolds has been telling stories for most of her life! She remembers tying on a bandana and lying upside down, with magic marker "eyes" painted on her chin to perform "Wide Mouth Frog" for her friends. It was a huge hit. When her oldest, now 14, was a toddler, he had an endless appetite for stories. He would give her three animals and a place and she had to create a story off the top of her head. Eventually, she had to create story "tickets" that he would use to "buy" a story. There had to be some rationing. That grew to telling at family reunions, and soon after--"Miss Mo" was born. Morgen started performing on stage when she was 12 years old and dreamed of being a professional actress. That is a difficult dream to realize--especially with three kids! Storytelling came to her as a way to perform on her time, with total control over the content. She just started telling stories, without realizing that there is a storytelling world out there! Now she has performed at festivals, attends workshops, and teaches storytelling to others. Some of the most powerful storytelling occurs in the unplanned moments. The experiences around the dinner table that start with, "Did I ever tell you about that time when I was a kid that I. . . . " That's when you've got them! Kids love to hear stories, especially about the grownups in their lives, and especially if it involves the grownups in their lives getting into some trouble! Those stories, told honestly, have far more power than any sermon we could attend. Morgen is using modern technology to spread the art of storytelling. She has a YouTube channel with playlists of stories geared towards school aged children. She is also on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Living in rural Montana makes traveling to live performances difficult, but she has high hopes of building her online brand and connecting with children and adults all over the world through the power of story. Here we go with Miss Mo! This post contains some affiliate links. Click here for disclosure statement. From This Episode Storytelling festivals are LEGIT! If you do a google search, you will find one near you, and they look amazing! I am seriously excited to check these out! Here are some festivals Morgen mentioned: National Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough, TN: http://www.storytellingcenter.net/festival/ Mount Timpanogos Storytelling Festival: https://timpfest.org More festivals: http://www.sostoryfest.com/festivals.html Storytellers Morgen tells us about: Laura Simms http://www.laurasimms.com Bil Lepp https://www.leppstorytelling.com Kim Weitkamp http://www.kimweitkamp.com Sam Payne https://www.sampayne.com/home The Moth on NPR https://www.themoth.org Jane Yolen Folktales http://janeyolen.com/works/favorite-folktales-from-around-the-world/ Why Storytelling: Stories connect families, our past, our identity, our experiences. Our stories are what make up our family culture. Storytelling is also a way to develop cognitive skills as a means of working our brains to remember things, which is why storytelling is so cultural. Storytelling is how family history and culture is perpetuated because they are easier to remember. Stories help us learn about conflict resolution, and connect us with the heroes in the stories, too. Storytelling and The Well-Educated Heart with Marlene Peterson http://librariesofhope.com/storytelling.html A way of keeping track of your family stories is with a five year journal, where you write down a line each day and then you come to it for five years recording one line each day. It's a great way to capture the snippets of life over a long time period.