The Luke and Pete Show

Ever wondered what a society run by the least qualified individuals would look like? Well, that's sort of what The Luke and Pete Show is, isn't it? And it's called a kakistocracy. Anyway, we're diving straight into this episode with talk about the nuances of the Jagger family, and rapidly moving into Maplin-esque territory by lamenting the loss of electronics giant Dick Smith. Elsewhere there's chat about brandy, Jim Davidson, Oliver Reed, and of course more stuff listeners' Dads have 'borrowed' from work.  Be a good egg and email us here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We're back, just like you said we would be. Let's get straight into it, shall we? A man enters the Guinness Book of World Records in a way that must surely mean he's tired of living, we discover a land beneath the sea that we never knew existed, someone directly related to an Arctic Monkey gets in touch, and Pete lets us in to the nightmare that is his subconscious. Elsewhere, there's emails on tips for visiting the UK, the building in London that Hitler purposely avoided bombing, and a famous man visiting Hartlepool for the fish n chips, when in fact he should be sticking to his tossed salads and scrambled eggs. Saucy! To send us a lovely battered cod, it's hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Good morning and welcome to this episode of The Luke and Pete Show, you're very welcome. Make yourselves comfortable. This time around, Pete kicks off proceedings by furnishing us with some Japanese pornographic film titles translated into English. It's actually funnier than you'd expect. After that we take in subjects as diverse as Duran Duran, saving animals from extinction, Ian Botham and, in an unrelated matter, hear from a listener with arguably the best Dad ever. To get in touch and expand on any of the subjects we've talked about, it's: hello@thelukeandpeteshow.com. We're also on Twitter and Insta: @lukeandpeteshow ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This time around, we hear from a listener who became involved in an ill-advised tete-a-tete with The Shield's Kenny Johnson, with quite spectacular results, learn of the tallest free-standing structure in the UK (Hint: It's not in London), and marvel at a truly horrific tree surgery injury. Meanwhile, there's Tony Hawk, storm chasing, frontmen with the best mic skills and much, much more. All packed into a commuting-friendly half hour. What more can you ask for, eh? To get in touch: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com Caution: This show contains Pete Donaldson's robust views on the Channel Islands.  ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Congratulations on your download! Your all-new Luke and Pete Show will contain the following: White Chocolate Chicken Shops Fish n Chips Sweaty Armpits How to assemble a band for a wedding Warning: Results may vary, do not listen to while operating heavy machinery. To prescribe us a higher dose: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

As promised, Pete delivers (sort of) on his Conspiracy Theory Special chat from shows gone by. What we mean by that is that he found a list of them in a magazine and would quite like to read them out.  And the excitement only ramps up from there - in the second half of the show both Luke and Pete get tucked in to a tube of space food that their pal brought back from Russia. I mean, they have to translate the label first, but it can't be that bad can it?  To send us into space, or give us any ideas: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Finally, finally, FINALLY, Pilot Neil returns. We don't know where he's been or what he's been doing but the most important thing is that he's back. We weren't angry, just disappointed. Also on your all-new edition of The Luke and Pete Show - tales from Bruges, the most beautiful/perverted city in Belgium, pinball machines, elaborate record packaging and the time Pete was attacked by a police dog for no reason. Can you tell we don't plan these in advance? We also took the time to get through a few of your emails of course, and to get involved yourself it's: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Howdy everyone! We're back in our respective saddles and looking to artfully waste another half an hour of everyones' time with some more pith and nonsense. Huzzah! Pete's been to Korea and so joyfully regales us with tales of his travels, including of course the eating of octopus. A textbook Korean pursuit if ever there was one. Elsewhere, there's plenty of your emails including job interview chat, a laugh spared for Alex Jones' latest woes, and Pete wonders whatever happened to that most stalwart of 80s sights - the bullworker. To contact us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The Luke and The Pete are getting to the age where they need to think about going grey and what that means for them. Apparently, Anthony Kiedis of Red Hot Chili Peppers takes affirmative action on that front. Who knew? Also, there's a revisiting of the 'posh people getting angry' trope, and we discover (via a listener) a man who can literally make a sharp knife out of just about anything at all, including clothing and pasta. Incredible really.  Steer our conversations any way you choose: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A police helicopter has been keeping Luke from watching TV. Pete's more interested in those little finger trick skateboards you used to get back in the day. What were they called? Did you ever become good at using one? If so, let us know. Meanwhile, we hear of a man who died by having a tortoise dropped on his bald head, and another, separate, man who had a rum old time working as Liam Neeson's stand in on a Martin Scorsese movie. Yes, really.  Have you ever worked with Marty? Let us know! Even if you haven't, we'd still love to hear from you: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com  ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Rejoice at the return of your favourite podcast featuring two men that know nothing about anything talking for half an hour. Pete's been to the seaside, and this time he managed to avoid getting sunburnt! He celebrates by talking for a bit about pants. We then move on to the well-trodden subjects of haircuts, how much one should pay, and finish off with a good dose of British awkwardness, something both Luke and Pete know very well. There's time before we go to hear two incredible stories too - one about a man who is phobic of crisps, and another whose 'porn shed' burnt down in a 'horny inferno'. We apologise in advance. To tell us a tall tale: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Why is Sir Paul McCartney so odd? And, while we're at it, why is Ringo Starr also so odd? Any advice greatly appreciated.  This time around, we break bread over the differences between the Japanese and Korean languages, marvel at possibly the worst job interview experience of all time, hear a Mencarta, and find out that, in the 70s, people that used to go door-to-door selling spider monkeys. Yes, really. To tell us of your worst ever job interview experiences, or anything else for that matter: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We start this episode as every podcast should begin - with Tom Jones impressions. After that we keep up the music theme by finding out that Pete has been hobnobbing with Franz Ferdinand's Alex Kapranos and bonding with him over Graceland. Once we finally get past the name-drop section of the show there's time for an email from Brunei, some more weird baby names, a discussion about LiveJasmine, some more Jurassic Park chat and much, much more courtesy of you, the lovely listener. What ho! Join us by telling a tale of your own: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Tune in this time around for Luke and Pete reminiscing about puncture repair kits, before marvelling at how strange and unreliable the passing of time and capturing of memories can be. Don't worry though, we get on to much more firm and familiar ground shortly after that as Pete waxes lyrical about how he hates leg day at the gym. What's more, you beautiful listeners step up to the plate with tales of Don King, ejecting from a jet in the middle of a thunderstorm, and much, much more. Don't miss it, mother! Besmirch us here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We start today's proceedings by talking about a one hour documentary on Japanese trains, including men fashioning a light fitting 'the old fashioned way', whatever that means. It's not as boring as it sounds though, and before you know it we've moved on to camel urine anyway, so that's a plus. Elsewhere on your all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, there's more sodium-based tom foolery, actors that didn't act more than once and a big end-of-show finale as Pete attempts a physical and mental feat that any sane man wouldn't even consider... To contribute: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.