Mom Enough: A Parenting Podcast

The average age of the onset of puberty has dropped significantly in recent years. But research on probable causes of early puberty in girls yields some surprises that defy popular beliefs.   Dr. Louise Greenspan and Dr. Julianna Deardorff, authors of The New Puberty: How to Navigate Early Development in Today’s Girls, join Marti & Erin in this week’s Mom Enough show for an informative discussion of some of the reasons behind early puberty in girls and the consequences of this phenomenon. They also discuss practical steps parents can take to reduce the risk of early puberty and protect children from other possible harm from environmental toxins. Whatever the ages of your children, don’t miss this very important discussion.   What surprised you in this discussion of early puberty in girls and some of the likely causes? What has been your experience with helping a child in your life understand and manage the physical and psychological changes associated with puberty?   For the lavender and tea tree oils study from the New England Journal of Medicine, click here. For the Skin Deep Mobile App, click here.

Countless children (and adults, for that matter!) are in the habit of nail-biting, hair-twisting, thumb-sucking or nose-picking. When might those behaviors be cause for concern? Even if they are apparently harmless habits, are there reasons to try to put an end to them?   University of Minnesota pediatrician Dr. Andy Barnes brings reassurance and practical advice to this week’s lively chat with Marti & Erin!   Note: You will want to stay tuned through the end of the show for a Relationships that Nurture brief from St. David’s Center. This segment addresses what you can do to ease your child’s separation anxiety.   Does your child have a habit, like nail-biting, hair-twisting, thumb-sucking or nose-picking, you’d like to bring to a stop? What purpose do you think that behavior serves for your child? Is there a more acceptable behavior that might serve the same purpose? What ideas did you get from this week’s Mom Enough show about how to understand and respond to your child’s habit?

Just as shaming our children undermines their healthy development, shaming parents undermines them and spills over to their children as well.   California therapist, coach and writer Mercedes Samudio has a mission to end parent shaming and help parents build a “shame-proof village” that will support them in using effective parenting strategies and sustaining strong, healthy relationships with their children at every age. Marti & Erin loved Mercedes’ wise approach and are glad to have her as part of the Mom Enough village of parent support!   In what situations have you felt judged or shamed for the way you parent or the life choices you’ve made as a mom or dad? In what ways have you felt yourself judging other parents? What steps have you taken or could you take to build a positive network with other parents in which you all can be heard, supported and encouraged to find what’s best for your children?   For Mercedes' blog, click here.

We all know someone who has experienced the pain and tragedy of substance use or addiction, and we long to keep our children safe from such harm. Sometimes we feel powerless in the face of the many temptations our children are likely to encounter.   Dr. Joseph Lee, Medical Director of the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation Youth Continuum, joins Marti & Erin to bring strong words of hope about the power of the messages you give your children about drugs and alcohol. And even if your child is still just a tot, it’s never too soon to think about the messages about substance use that you are sending in words and actions!   Thinking about the risk factors mentioned in this Mom Enough discussion, what are the risks that could make your child especially vulnerable to substance abuse? Even if there are no notable risks in your child or your family, what are the social situations that might tempt your child to make unwise choices about substance use? What messages are you giving your child in both words and actions and what more could you do to prepare your child to handle risky situations involving alcohol or drugs?   For tips for how to talk to your child about drugs and alcohol, click here.

As parents, many of us often find ourselves in reactive mode, letting stress, frustration, anger or disappointment overwhelm us. For some of us, those feelings reach the level of clinical depression or an anxiety disorder.   Dr. Henry Emmons has spent his career helping people understand and apply the chemistry of calm and  joy by using simple, accessible strategies to manage energy, quiet our minds, build resilience and maximize our experience of calm, joy and well-being. Learn with Marti & Erin in this helpful, inspiring discussion!   What ideas did you take away from this Mom Enough discussion of the chemistry of calm and joy with psychiatrist Henry Emmons? Think of a recent situation in which you felt like negative emotions were taking over. Next time a similar situation arises, what steps could you take to handle it differently?

Research demonstrates the importance of starting early if we want our children to be good stewards of the environment. But that does not necessarily mean we should teach very young children about baby polar bears losing their homes or birds getting tangled in ocean debris.   Listen to Marti & Erin’s discussion with environmental educator and author Patty Born Selly about simple, fun, educational approaches to help your children learn about nature and love nature in ways that will motivate them to preserve what they love.   In what ways are your children learning to know and love nature? In a typical day, how much time do they spend outside playing and exploring? What small steps could you take to engage your children more often in outdoor activities to learn about nature?   For Patty's books, click here.

As a Social Work professor, Oliver Williams has devoted his career to helping men find the strength, compassion and self-control to treat their partners and children kindly and respectfully. With a special focus on African American men, Oliver works with local communities and national and international organizations to reduce domestic violence and support positive fathering.   In this warm and thoughtful conversation with Marti & Erin, Oliver draws on his work and, even more, his personal experience with his father (who died when Oliver was 16), the older brother who became a father figure to him and son Samuel, who, for 26 years, has been the light of Oliver’s eye (and mom Sonia’s). We thank Oliver for helping us remember and celebrate the fathers in our lives!   What are some of your strongest childhood memories of your father (or a father figure if you didn’t grow up with your father)? How do you think your children will answer that question when they are older?

Katey & Scott Taylor faced a devastating loss when their daughter Abbey suffered horrific injuries due to a faulty drain in a public wading pool and subsequently died. With strength and resilience, they and their family have worked to make sure no other child experiences what Abbey did.   Aptly named “Abbey’s Hope,” their foundation partners with schools and community organizations to promote legislation to ensure pool safety, to educate parents about water safety and to make swim lessons available to all children. Listen as Katey shares her personal story and important lessons with Marti & Erin.   What do you need to know about drains in the pools where your children swim or play? What other steps can you take to keep your children safe in the water?   For tips for parents from Abbey's Hope, click here. To become a Water Watchdog and receive a free tag, click here. To make sure your pool is compliant with the requirements of the acts discussed, click here. For the YMCA Safety Around Water application, click here. To see what a dangerous drain cover looks like, click here. To see what a safe drain cover looks like, click here.

For too many of our children, today’s sedentary lifestyle poses a serious threat to their longterm health and well-being. At the same time, many of our more active children are drawn into highly competitive sports at early ages, with risk of injury if they don’t receive appropriate guidance about how much physical activity is too much.   Whatever your child’s patterns of activity, you’ll benefit from the wisdom and experience of Katherine Ites, a physical therapist at Children’s Minnesota, who joins Marti and Erin in this week’s show.   How much vigorous physical activity does your child get in a typical week? How does that measure up to guidelines for healthy living? If your child is in organized sports, is he or she having the kind of experience recommended by Katherine Ites, the expert in this discussion? What factors make it hard or easy for your child to get the kind of physical activity he or she needs for good health and development?

As parents, many of us struggle to sort through varied and often contradictory bits of potty training and bed-wetting advice from childrearing books, peers, grandparents and childcare providers. We wonder when our child should be out of diapers, when toileting “accidents” are something to worry about and what approach will be most effective (and least harmful) in helping our children achieve independence in toileting.   This week’s Mom Enough guest, University of Minnesota’s Dr. Andrew Barnes, helps cut through the confusion with both concrete tips and wise advice to remain calm and patient.   What different kinds of advice have you received about potty training and bed-wetting and how did that advice come to you? What was helpful and what was not? Are your children at an age at which toileting problems are still an issue? If so, what did you get from this week’s Mom Enough show to help you see or respond to the issue in new ways?

What is your experience with – or knowledge of – transgender individuals? What do you know about mental health challenges transgender youth may face and factors that help them thrive and succeed in life?   This week, mom and blogger Leslie Lagerstrom (creator of Transparenthood) and child and adolescent psychiatrist Elizabeth Reeve join Marti & Erin for a candid and informative discussion of raising a transgender child, helping family and friends accept and support the child and understanding both the risks and protective factors that influence mental health outcomes for transgender youth.   Do you know a transgender person? What did you hear in this Mom Enough discussion that gave you a new perspective on issues faced by transgender youth and their families?   For Transforming Families, click here. For Gender Spectrum, click here. For Leslie's blog, click here. For Park Nicollet's transgender services doctors, click here.

Author and writing teacher Kate Hopper invited a select group of women writers to read from their work at her 11th Annual Motherhood & Words Reading at the Loft Literary Center in Minneapolis. Kate’s mission is, in her own words, “to highlight the amazing writing out there by women about motherhood.”   As in years past, Mom Enough is proud to bring you this recording of this year’s event, featuring: Shannon Gibney, educator, activist and author of See No Color, winner of the 2016 Minnesota Book Award in Young People’s Literature; Judy Batalion, New York-based comedian and author of White Walls: A Memoir about Motherhood, Daughterhood and the Mess in Between; and Susan Ito, Bay Area performer, author of The Mouse Room and co-editor of A Ghost at Heart’s Edge: Stories & Poems of Adoption. Make yourself a cup of tea and sit back and enjoy the work of these outstanding writers!   What stood out for you in the readings in the 11th Annual Motherhood & Words Reading? Were there issues or experiences in these authors’ work that resonated with your own experience as a mother? What made you think in new ways about the lives of mothers of different backgrounds and life circumstances than yours?   For Kate’s website, click here. For Shannon’s website, click here. For Judy’s website, click here. To learn more about Susan, click here. For Motherhood & Words, click here.

When you lose your cool when your toddler misbehaves at the park or when your teen botches a major exam, what do you say to yourself? If you’re like many parents, you probably slip into all-or-nothing thinking – saying to yourself, for example, “I’m a terrible parent!” or “My kid will never get into a good college!”   This week’s Mom Enough guest, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, offers practical ways to step back and put our failures (and our children’s) into perspective, using these opportunities for evaluation and reframing that will quiet our inner critic and allow us to learn and grow. With great energy and a refreshing outlook, Elizabeth helps us understand how we and our children can strive for excellence without falling into the trap of perfectionism.   Think of recent times when you or your young child have made a significant mistake or have failed in some way. What did you think or say to yourself? Did you fall into the “all-or-nothing” thinking Dr. Lombardo talks about? What could you say to yourself instead that would be less perfectionistic and more helpful?   For Dr. Elizabeth’s blog, click here. For Dr. Elizabeth’s Better Than Perfect book, click here.

The explosion of new technologies over the last 20 years has opened a whole new world to children and teens, posing both opportunities and challenges for kids and parents alike. The adolescent years probably always have presented issues that make parents uncomfortable. But technology has raised the stakes with threats like online bullying, sexting and texting while driving – just to name a few of the pressures that can arise while parenting a teenager.   Drawing on her experience as a longtime social worker and student advisor, Joani Geltman offers guidance on all this and more in her book, A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens: Talking to Your Kids about Sexting, Drinking, Drugs and Other Things that Freak You Out. Hear all about it in this week’s Mom Enough show!   What issues associated with parenting a teenager make you uncomfortable or hesitant to discuss them with your child? How do you oversee your child’s access to technology and how well do you think your approach is preparing your child to use technology carefully and wisely?   For Joani’s blog, click here. For our interview with Dr. Laurence Laurence Steinberg, click here.

Children on the autism spectrum face many challenges, but appropriate therapy makes a major difference in their longterm adjustment and learning. There also are many practical things parents can do to support their child’s development. Vanessa Slivken, Senior Director of Autism Services at St. David’s Center for Child & Family Development, joins Marti & Erin for an encouraging and helpful discussion of the important role of parents – and the importance of care and support for parents – of children with ASD.   Do you have a child with autism spectrum disorder or do you know someone who does? What helpful ideas did you hear in Vanessa Slivken’s discussion with Marti & Erin in this Mom Enough episode?   To learn more about Autism Support Services at St. David's Center, click here. For the Anoka & Northern Hennepin Counties Autism Resource Guide, click here. For a list of autism book & website resources, click here. For our show on understanding the early signs of ASD, click here. For our show on early identification and intervention for children with ASD, click here.