Love Over Addiction

My ex-husband lied to me constantly. I was always on guard. I had a strong intuition, but it was continually being tested.  I felt like I was going crazy. I was exhausted. Can you relate?  I just wanted to trust again, but I didn't know when (or how) that was going to happen. Have you ever wondered when (and how) to learn to trust again? Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/learning-to-trust-again/

Today we hear from a woman in our community who’s been married for over 35 years and her husband has been in and out of recovery for years.  She’s learned to trust her intuition, come out of denial, and discover herself, whether he’s sober or not. It’s a daily challenge for him, but she has boundaries in place to protect herself, stay in her lane, and be happy, no matter what he’s choosing that day.  Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/their-long-road-to-recovery-and-yours-too/ 

When we love someone suffering from addiction, it can be hard to see the light of day. Our once very accurate judgment is now being manipulated into something else. As I started my own recovery, I discovered that there are tools that I could use in those moments to find clarity. And today I share two simple lessons with you that I was reminded of when my ceiling caved in.  Find here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/lessons-when-your-partner-suffers-from-addiction/

Here’s the deal: you reserve the right to change your mind at any time, for any reason. If you’re anything like me, you put a lot of pressure on yourself to make the “right” choice. You may even get frozen in indecision, because you’re too afraid of getting it ‘wrong’. Find out why that's okay in this episode: https://loveoveraddiction.com/why-its-okay-to-change-your-mind/

When I was healing from loving a man suffering from addiction there was one thing that was part of all of my days: self-care. And I know, I get it, self-care is all the rage right now. But self-care should meet your needs, and not necessarily be ‘trendy’. My self-care right now is a bowl of ice cream and an episode on Netflix. My self-care has been physical movement, walking with my dog and kids, among other things. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/take-care-of-yourself/

Today’s episode is about a whisper. A whisper within us that we may hear, or we may not be able to yet. The voice of addiction in our own heads is loud, ugly, demanding, and full of lies. It covers up our own voice. Our whisper within is clouded by the loud ugliness of our partner’s addiction.  Learn how to uncover your whisper, and more importantly, listen to it.  Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/listen-to-your-whisper/

When I was married to a good man that suffered from addiction, that was one of the hardest seasons of my life. I learned all kinds of tips and tools to handle the disease, and some of these, I still use to this day.  Today I have one simple tool for you. I used this tool when I was married to my ex-husband, and I started using it again recently when we moved into our new (99-year-old) house, and it started falling apart.  Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/simple-tool/

Here’s the loving truth: when you have children living in this situation, with their parent (or step-parent) suffering from addiction, you’ve got work to do. You must be the strong and sober parent, willing to educate them and keep them safe and protected. They know something is going on, no matter how young they are. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/talk-to-your-children-about-addiction/  Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

I believe in dream boards (or vision boards). They sound incredibly hokey and woo-woo... But I stand by them.   Today is all about your future. Why it’s important to dream, envision, imagine, and how to actually do that. It’s actually really hard for a lot of people, and it was at first for me too.  Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/create-a-vision/  Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

When we love someone suffering from addiction, our lives become chaotic and out of control. That’s just the way addiction works. Today we'll talk self-care, even in a crisis. Because addiction gets crazy, and our lives can get completely out of control.  Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/self-care-during-a-crisis/ Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we will eventually become completely isolated if we’re not already. That’s what addiction needs to thrive. Today I share tips on what kind of friends to look for (and what kind of people you want to avoid), so that you can create friendships and share your story, with that special person, or two (three at most).  More here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/how-to-choose-friends/ Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Sometimes when we love someone suffering from addiction we can get into the mindset that it’s all on us. Everything falls on our shoulders, and we’re responsible for it all.  And let’s be honest: many, many times, that is the case. We’re not in a ‘normal’ relationship. Our partners are suffering from addiction, which means that our lives are different.  Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/create-your-team-of-experts/ Connect: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we do our very best to help them. We try everything we can think of, read, or find on Google. We try it all. With the most pure and best intentions. We want our loved ones to get sober, and stay sober for good, right? The reality is that all that energy we’re putting into our loved ones, we need to be putting into ourselves. Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/stop-enabling-behaviors/ Connect: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

We’re expected to balance life, work, children, self-care, all of it. Every day. With balance, grace, and ease. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s BS. It’s not easy, especially when we love someone suffering from addiction. It’s real, raw, and unscripted. It’s giving ourselves permission to be hot-messes and take the path of least resistance, just to get by. Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/finding-balance/ Connect: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we can start to become isolated. We may feel so wrapped up in our loved one’s issues, that we start to lose our joy, our friendships, and the things that really matter to us. And this is all too common. Addiction wants us to feel lonely and powerless. Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/when-addiction-steals-your-friendships/ Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/