Intro To X
Summary: Watching every single episode of the X-Files for the first time, again. No Spoilers.
This we week we discuss episodes 1x02 “Creegan” and 2x04 “Mauser's Day Out” In which the crew is menaced by an inexplicable clown that was warped by the machinations of Mr. Potter and they learn a valuable lesson about reprogramming a gay science robot for sex.
Ian joins us for the handiwork of Chris Carter episode 8x15 – “Deadalive”. Mulder's return from death, autopsy, embalming, and three months in the ground is questionable as Scully 11 month pregnancy. On the plus side Little Doggett and Slycek face off. The Lone Gunmen 1x07 “Planet of the Frohikes” features a talking chimpanzee named Simon White-Thatch Potentloins, and therefore is the best episode of Lone Gunmen ever.
It's time for everyone to drop to their knees and scream to the skies that Episode 8x14 – “This Is Not Happening” here. DJ J-Jon JonE Jon joins us as we discuss this Chris Carter penned pile of garbage. The Lone Gunmen 1x06 “Madam I'm Adam” has Stephen Tobolowsky which makes it slightly better than it's usual sub-mediocrity.
We're back for Episode 8x13 – “Per Manum” in which someone finally remembers that Scully is pregnant. There are a grip of flashbacks to when Gillian Anderson had good hair and a lame partner. Also we meet everyone's favorite new character Knowl Rohrrererrghragher. The Lone Gunmen 1x05 “Three Men and a Smoking Diaper” is as boring as it is sexist.
Join us for Episode 8x12 – “Medusa” as we travel into a mysterious train station being menaced by a phantom, or jellyfish, or sweat activated parasites, or a vengeful mute orphan. Frankly we have no idea what the hell is happening but we know Scully is angry about it. The Lone Gunmen 1x04 “Like Water for Octane” is as questionable as it is mediocre.
DJ J-Jon JonE Jonathon joins us for Episode 8x11 – “The Gift”. Unlike Mulder, Dogget gets eaten and vomited up by a disease-ridden monster and doesn't feel compelled to murder an innocent. We witness the most unsettling use of a mask ever in the loneliest of times for The Lone Gunmen 1x03 “Eine Kleine Frohike” which largely revolves around Frohike trying to look at an old lady's ass.
Matt and Mila are here for the confounding and repulsive Episode 8x10 – “Badlaa”. Scully is sad that she's not quite as sociopathic as Mulder and there's a monster that is climbing up the ass of random people for no discernible reason. The nest makes room for another loser in the loneliest of times for The Lone Gunmen 1x02 “Bond, Jimmy Bond”
Hot off the Gaz, Alirio and Chris join us for Episode 8x09 – “Salvage”. Where a man slowly turns into metal monster almost as terrible as his wife. The writers continue to have very little understanding of elementary school science. Also we climb into a nest of grossness for the loneliest of times for The Lone Gunmen 1x01 “Pilot”
DJ Jonny Jon Jon J-Rider joins us for Episode 8x08 – “Surekill”. In which gross creepos do gross creepo things whilst carrying around buckets of dead rats for no discernible reason. Also famed actor with a lisp James Franco steals someone's credit.
Jon and Mike are honorary members of the Kersh Appreciation Society for Episode 8x07 – “Via Negativa”. Scully calls in sick to the episode and Manliest of Men John Swagger Dogget fights nightmares. We all enjoy Stingray's hit children's book “Don't You Worry Little Dogget”
Will and Chris join us for Episode 8x06 – “Redrum” where backward living Joe Morton races against the clock to stop Spider-man. We learn about the manliest way to get coffee and desperately want to interview the transcript writers on the podcast.
Alirio is here for Episode 8x05 – “Invocation” Wherein a real douchebag of a ghost kid has a really questionable plan for saving his brother from the creepiest creep ever. Also everyone yells at Doggett for no reason.
We are here to tell you everything you might need to know about the first 7.25 seasons of The X-Files before it's inexplicable return. From Conquistador Tree-People to Clone Drone Hybrids this is truly the definite Critical Guide to Characters, Mythology, and Monsters whether you Want To Believe it or not.
Matt and Chris join us for the questionably titled Episode 8x04 – "Roadrunners" wherein Scully gets kidnapped by an evil parasitic slug worshiping cult. We also spend an inordinate amount of time playing a Chris Carter Monologue Game.
Everyone is arguing loudly and we have absolutely no clue why. Join us for the questionably titled episode 8x03 – “Patience” Wherein Scully and Dogget go to Gotham to track down the Batman. We learn a lot about being an old-fashioned cop and are hugely upset we didn't get to meet the town librarian.