Intro To X
Summary: Watching every single episode of the X-Files for the first time, again. No Spoilers.
DJ J-Jon-Jonathon and Chris are here to help us discuss the wacky Darin Morgan penned10x03 – “Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster” in which an everyday happy lizard-man is cursed by podcast rival Kumail Nanjiani also a cute dog gets snatched!
Chris and Will are here to help us discuss 10x02 – “Founders Mutation” where we are treated to a story about mutants and family that completely falls apart in retrospect. No unlike the whole William plot. Also a cat gets what it deserves.
Will joins us as we stare into the abyss of Season 10. We say hello and goodbye to poor lil’ Scoops. Meet an Alex Jones metaphor and marvel at the lack of anything happening. Also Scully now spends her time putting ears on kids that don’t have them.
Amanda and Matt join us to discuss the second film “The X-Files: I Want To Believe” In which Chris Carter tries to make us sympathize with a magical child molester… seriously. The fears of a middle-aged heterosexual male baby boomer are on full display. Also apparently everybody forgot that Mulder broke out of prison where he was on death row for murder.
Michael David and Pat join us for 9x19 “The Truth’ as we close out the original run of this show the only way Chris Carter could, with a boring clip show that pretends to put the pieces together but fails to do a damn thing. We learn that Mulder has been bunking with everyone's favorite chess champ from the Philippines whilst Spender was saving the entire goddamn world.
Matt is here to help us discuss 9x18 “Sunshine Days’ Where we’ve never been closer to The Truth. It’s the penultimate episode of the X-Files so clearly it’s going to be about The Brady Bunch. Ben Linus is the most pathetic sadsack ever and everyone else is crazy drunk this week.
Pat joins us to discuss 9x17 “Release’ In which Robert Patrick has all the acting chops. We meet the biggest creep ever and also a mob connected child murderer. Apparently the FBI has really loosened their recruitment screenings post 9/11. We say goodbye to Follmer and everyone’s favorite drunk is bonkers.
DJ J-Jon-Jonnny Jonathon and Chris are here to discuss the beautiful tapestry that is 9x16 “William’ Wherein Scully is the worst mom ever with the most questionable logic ever. Despite the unending supply of bullshit that is thrown at him American Hero Jeffrey Spender saves the world yet again. William moves to Brimleytown.
Mila and Will join us for the secret final episode of The Lone Gunmen 9x15 “Jump the Shark’ in which the creators pay more respect to a half-hearted garbage one season spinoff than they ever even thought about doing with Millennium. At least Morris Fletcher is back to scheme and scam.
Join us for 9x14 “Scary Monsters’ The human equivalent to nails on a chalkboard, Leyla Harrison, returns to ruin everyone’s weekend. Dogget fails his test to join the Federal Bureau of Imagination but succeeds in punching a hole through a man. In the end everyone avoids getting sent to the cornfield and we still have no idea why he buried a mirror.
Chris and Matt are here for 9x13 "Improbable" in which Burt Reynolds is God and Reyes is a drunk Fraggle. Chris Carter half-asses his way into a not-musical that is complete nonsense. Mi fa cagare!
Dan joins us for the wacky adventure 9x12 "Underneath" In which Sheriff Root is so Christian he transubstantiates into an evil Jesus murderer with a screw driver. Also we meet the world's creepiest lawyer and wish Robin Williams had more screen time in the episode.
Jozie joins us for this jaunt into the Twilight Zone in Episode 9x11 – “Audrey Pauley” Reyes leans an important lesson about drinking and driving and Doggett goes bonkers in his quest to stop the most obvious villain ever. Also Dogs > Cats. #ScienceFact
John Doggett, Jim Rockford, Mike Pinocchio, and Elliot from E.T. join together to present the “true story” of Travis Walton’s abduction by aliens. We discuss this 1993 cinematic classic and the other bonkers claims from terribly titled book “The Walton Experience” that somehow didn’t quite make it into the film.
We continue onward with Chris Carter’s last minute half-assery in Episode 9x10 – “Providence" wherein nothing reasonable happens. Teliko helps Scully find secret passages and people possibly try to surf on a spaceship. Also this prophesy makes no sense.