Idle Thumbs

Kotaku's Kirk Hamilton joins us for talk of some recent sneaky games and tries to sell Jake on a 3DS. Chris gets lost in a spooky cave and pushes some guys out of the way. Plus, we can't stop talking about those guys who can't stop talking about Sam Fisher, Fisher.

Did you know the President's job is to sign legislature and collect orbs? Did you know the real purpose of the BigDog is to carry Lords? Special guest Danielle Riendeau of Polygon joins us for a discussion of deep space survival, wilderness survival, and difficult to pronounce words.

Okay, real Idle Thumbs confession time: We can't stop playing and streaming Crusader Kings II. Chris and Nick's lives have been overtaken by it and there's just nothing else. There's... oh god, they're coming this way. Get down here in the grass, bandage yourself up and drink this whiskey so you have a bottle to throw if they get too close.

As Ragnar got up to answer the knock at his door, he thought of his life. He'd been chancellor of the realm (for a day), he'd aided the king himself in a secret plot (though that hadn't gone so well), then he'd helped win a war (that he didn't want to fight). Ups and downs, sure, but it was enough -- a life to be proud of. But under the rule of these lot enough is never enough. It was time to go back, time for one final job. Stepping out unto the midnight air he took one last look at his begonias and headed east.

Can a video game facilitate the highest expression of skill and competition, as well as the most menial of tasks? Can it show us the way towards harmony between all nations? Can it unite far-flung strangers in spectral pottery-spinning? None of this will matter when the robot army crushes our skulls beneath their feet.

With the tragic passing of Ryan Davis, we try to find a chuckle within a horrific simulator, just as we hope he would've wanted. Our thoughts and wishes go out to the guys at Giant Bomb and Ryan's friends and family. He was and is truly one of the greats.

When we're two hundred years dead and buried, we hope the kids of our kids' kids' kids are still bringing you this podcast out of some strange never-ending sense of family destiny. In the meantime, we bring you our experiences playing Rogue Legacy (which is basically that, except killing guys in castles and not podcasting), share our excitement for the new Civ V expansion, and talk about the cold war and the moon. Like we do.

The Last Of Us cast, a formidable task, is one we'll complete, completely unasked! When we bash guys' heads with a brick, do we stop aghast, our inner demons unmasked? A game full of bombast, with much to lambaste -- but it looks world class -- will we hold fast, or will we give it a pass? Also discussed: Capsule, Letterpress.

Did we just experience the Citizen Kane of weeks? The rest of you may have. Chris gets into the early days of the Planetary Annihilation alpha, Sean sits next to a man you thought you knew, and Jake is frustrated that he can't walk into a store and buy The Last Of Us like the rest of America seemed to.

We're not quite at the point where E3 keynotes have exit polls, so you'll have to settle for this episode of a podcast instead. We play pundit following the heated battle that was Sony and Microsoft keynote day at E3, Jake accidentally pays attention to Nintendo for a second and can't look away, and Nick runs a lot of dudes over in his car.

Nick, can you handle this? Chris, can you handle this? Sean, can you handle this? I don't think they can handle this.

A voice cries out in Russian; you don't understand it but that's okay. A guard runs past you, trips a motion detector and lights your way. You lose two wingmen but save the day. That's the price you pay.

As the lights fade and the noise recedes from yesterday's Xbox One announcement, the space left in its wake fills with ideas and dreams, yes, but also... loss? A gnawing unfilled place inside you, left wanting. When you're finally sure you're alone, at the quietest point of the night, you turn to your TV, whisper "Xbox... show me J. Allard," and hope. Giant Bomb's Ryan Davis joins us as we unpack the Xbox One reveal, venture beneath Moscow in Metro Last Light, and gaze into the eyes of Allard one final time.

This week on Idle Thumbs we talk about the video games we've been playing and laugh at each other, but our A/B testing has shown that those things don't really bring in the key demos we're looking for, so we're probably going to just replace this episode with a picture of a woman in a thong, drop a sleazy tagline on it, and claim for some reason that it's rated AO. That should do the trick.

It's Discovery Week here at the Thumb, where we play a bunch of games whose fun comes from learning how to play them. We finally sit down and play our first campaign of Risk: Legacy, Chris falls into CandyBox and Starseed Pilgrim, and Sean takes to the stars to face the nation's most formidable foe.