Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! show

Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Summary: Lou goes to places you never even wanted to know existed on the internet and returns with a podcast you can't stop listening to. All the posts he reads are real even if you don't want to believe it! Sometimes disturbing, sometimes enlightening but always fun to listen to. Some examples of places Lou has gone are a forum for heroin addicts where junkies share their tips on how to negotiate the world of heroin for new junkies, a different forum where people share their most awkward sexual encounters and yet another forum where teenagers who believe they are vampires tell of the time they discovered their true-selves. The internet changes everyday and Lou is there looking for the craziest and most interesting stuff to read about. Check it out today!

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  • Artist: Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!
  • Copyright: Copyright © King Lou Fernandez, 2009-Present


 Lou Reads About How To Fight Demons | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 28:40

How to fight demons? Its the question on everyones mind. Well at least the inquiring minds of the wordpress blog knows as Heal the Land. They have a lot of super helpful posts about how to prepare for spiritual warfare, how to expel demons & other super helpful demon related advice. Well, as you might imagine this argument devolves into bickering and nonsense but I thought it was amusing enough to read. Sadly no ones questions really get answered. Are Freemasons a harmless club or Luciferian based cabal? Can you fight demons by typing words into your keyboard? How can that one lady stop the demons from making her cough? Demons, I condemn thee with this bottle of Robotussin DM! Enjoy!

 Lou Reads about Sucky Christmas Presents from the Something Awful Forums | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 29:59

“Look, its not that I didn’t like what you bought for, per se. It’s more that your choice of gift shows me that you don’t know me at all and its making me sad.” If you’ve thought something like this at Christmas then this is the podcast episode for you! Won’t you join me as I read from the collected sharings of the Something Awful community in a thread about times they received sucky presents for the Holidays. If this all sounds familiar it may because I did a similar episode about Terrible Xmas Presents in 2010. Look, it was two years ago… Lets hope that was enough time! As promised here is that video that was linked in the original post.

 Lou Reads Extrasode from the Cum on Food Forums | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 7:11

The year is almost over! Believe me, I cannot wait to put 2012 behind me. Sadly thats how I felt about 2011, too. I’ll be recording something tonight but before that happens I just wanted to drop off this extrasode gem from 2011. I hope you enjoy it more than a glassful of urine a “friend” may be sneaking into your drinks.

 Lou’s Top 10 XMAS Countdown from Something Awful’s Goon Made Christmas Music | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 29:05

Hey! Hanukka is almost over (or over I can’t remember) and its almost Christmas! The guys over at the Something Awful forums have been working super hard on their 4th annual Christmas music collection. I took it upon myself to fire up the Garageband and make a top 10 countdown. There were 87 songs to choose from and it was actually hard to pick 10 but I did it, you guys. There were some great bad songs made! As you may have seen on the Facebook Page I threw my hat into the ring for a couple of holiday classics. Please forgive this diversion from the usual forum nonsense and enjoy a lovely jumble of holiday awfulness. More forumsy goodness is just around the corner! You can download the whole collection of 87 songs here And remember if you haven’t finished your holiday shopping & you’re planning on buying stuff at Amazon you can help Lou Reads out by shopping via THIS HANDY LINK! Thank you!   If you want to hear all the Something Awful Christmas music ever made then check out  https://saxmas.robotcousin.com/

 Lou Reads about Dragon Dildos from the Forums of Bad Dragon | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 35:22

Honey, I know you’ve been complaining about being bored with our sex life. Now, I’m not comfortable with your suggestion that we invite another man into the bedroom. However I was thinking that you might be open to inviting a giant fantasy dildo instead. I already spent the money soooo…. Merry Christmas! So here we are at the big 100. *Shrug* I hope you enjoyed it! This forum is great because for such a silly product it has some really friendly and enthusiastic customers. I recall when Something Awful discovered Bad Dragon the owner joined SA to talk to people and actually was soliciting the forum members for dildo designs before being banned. Seemed nice enough. You know, for a guy who earns a living making fantasy dildos. Who am I to judge. Who says I am? I’m just reading here. Get off my case. Oh by the way, here is the baby jesus dildo I mentioned in the epilogue. And here is the magic health tea. It really did help.

 Lou Reads Extrasode from Ponychan. How My Little Pony Helped a Man Confront His Abusive Step-Father | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 7:35

You may remember when I read from the forums of the Bronies way back in March of 2011. Well you may have missed this extrasode that was posted on the blog. This story was not from the forum but another site called Pony Chan and involves a person using My Little Pony to help them through a tough time. A listener told me they actually met the author of this story in person at some Brony meet-up… I don’t recall if they told them I had read it online but whoa! Small world.

 Lou Reads – More Crystal Meth Tips from Drugs-Forum | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 35:46

Oh hey, just getting ready to call it quits after being up for the past 80 hours so I thought I’d wrap it up and post this podcast about Crystal Meth. Its been a while so I thought I’d dip my toe back into the madness of getting spun. Last time around it was more meth sex talk but this time around I’m exploring more of the tips, tricks & travails of the meth users landscape. And what bette place to do that than Drugs-Forum. I sincerely hope you enjoy this episode and that it doesn’t make you want to try Crystal Meth. Because as glamorous as it is, I just don’t think you have what it takes to be that cool. Wait… You are totally cool enough! Go for it! HEY WHILE YOU’RE HERE! Consider these awesome Crystal Meth related Holiday Gifts!

 Lou Reads episode 98! Emetophiles talk about Hot Puke. | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 28:25

Well, if Hurricane Sandy did one good thing over these last couple of days its that it gave me time to edit this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! A silver lining to the whipping winds and flood tides. I’m sure you’ll agree. So, hold onto to your puke and get ready to listen to discussions from people who are aroused by vomit! I hope you enjoy this episode as much as its humanly possible to enjoy such a thing.

 Lou Reads minisode: How Can I Become a Juggalo? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 4:25

Just stopping in to drop off a little minisode for you. This was a recording done for a fan of the podcast. It was requested as a birthday gift. I figure since this was recorded in April it might be okay to share by now. If you want a recording for your friends birthday please let me know! More full length episodes coming soon!

 Lou Reads Arguments Against Bestiality & Why They Fail | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 34:31

Look, I know this topic is probably going to split my listenership into two groups. Those who love animals and those who love animals for their hot wet love holes. Well, now that you’re in your two separate groups I expect you to fight to the death! Well, maybe before you do that you should listen to this episode of the podcast. You may come away from this one coming to terms with your deeply buried need to bury your needs into your companion animals. (I know… it’s gross…) As promised here is a link to the original blog post.

 Lou Reads all about Real Faeries! | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 33:04

Have you ever lost something of value mysteriously? You may have thought it was a your thieving junky son, home from college! But perhaps there is something more magical afoot! Have you heard invisible people singing? It doesn’t mean you’re having a psychotic episode or that your forgot you’re wearing an iPod. It could be that a member of a magical race of tiny people could be trying to tell you they are there for no reason! Welcome to the wonderful world of faeries and the people who believe in them. Welcome to RealFairies.net As far as silliness on the internet goes this forum is pretty tame. That doesn’t stop it from being very very silly.

 Lou Reads: Bonus Content from Episode 73 – My Brother is my Baby Daddy | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 4:07

Hey everyone! I just got back from PAX and wanted to give you guys yet another mini-update from the Extrasode archives. This story was cut out of Episode 73: The Forums of Female First for time reasons (I think). This is a lovely short reading about a woman who comes to the most logical conclusion to the problem of her husbands sterility. to quote my original post It involves the delightful story of a brother and sister who decide to have babies together and all the details of how they went about it. Its really… special? Enjoy? Bonus content. Here is a picture of me working at PAX!

 Lou Reads all About Foot Sniffing: a Minisode | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 10:33

Hello, true believers. I just wanted to drop a minisode I’ve been sitting on for a while. This was a recording I did for a listeners birthday a while back and I figure now is the time to share. The reading selection was suggested by the birthday girls significant other. If that isn’t true love then I don’t know what is… Maybe I need my head examined… Its been a while so I figured it would be okay to share it with ya’ll. I hope you enjoy it.

 Lou Reads Movie Reviews of His Local United Artists Movie Theater | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 22:50

Have we no decency? No, not at my local movie theater, anyway. I go to this big theater in NYC and its a horrorshow. Imagine how delighted I was to find a large repository of pretty funny and, quite honestly, pretty racist comments about the place on Yelp. Anyway, I hope you enjoy listening to me read the angry rantings of the patrons of the Court Street 12. Somehow that place is still always packed! Sigh…

 Lou Reads Endless Election Nonsense from Tea Party Nation | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 39:23

Ok, so this episode has me sorry on several fronts. First off I’m sorry that it took me so lont to come out with it. As I mentioned on the Facebook page I had some family related health news that has took the wind out of my sails. More about that in the podcast. Secondly I’m sorry because this episode is really one-note-y. I decided to revisit the Tea Party Nation because last time it was a nice assortment of mixed wingnuts. Lots of different stuff to read about. By the time I was 20 minutes into recording I realized that there was almost no variety in the topics. In an election year everyone on that site has one common mission. Defeat Bolak Blaramo. Or at least something like that. Its been a while since I dipped myself into this side of the political pool. I always find it fascinating and yet horrifying all at the same time. I don’t want to spoil it too much but suffice it to say… these people are very scared and very angry about the world and there is only one thing that will make them happy… Actually I have no idea what would make them happy. Probably nothing short of a magic bomb that makes everything back the way it was in the 1950’s… Good luck with that!


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