History Impossible

When we last left the side of renowned and loved silent film director William Desmond Taylor, he was lying dead on the floor of his bungalow and his valet was shrieking for someone--anyone--to help. Little did the valet know that "help" would indeed come, but the only people being helped were the ones who hired William Desmond Taylor to clean up the tarnished image Hollywood had earned for itself. In the second part of our epic story involving the unsolved murder of William Desmond Taylor, as well as the greatest cover-up in Hollywood's relatively short history that followed it up and set the scene for the next century, we'll be looking not just at the crime scene and the shenanigans that occurred there, thanks to Taylor's employers, but also the LAPD's primary theory of who killed Taylor and why that's most likely wrong. Then we'll look at all three major accounts that have been explored in our main secondary sources of who could have done it and who was responsible. We'll dive into the life of an obsessed teenage girl and her wicked stage mother and the political powers that protected them, the enraged drug dealers and an actress struggling with an addiction to their product, the failed actors and filmmakers who moonlighted as bottom-feeding petty criminals, and the powerful moguls who loomed over it all and made it impossible for Hollywood to ever be the same again; all in the epic conclusion of History Impossible's The Great Hollywood Coverup.

Nearly 100 years ago, scandal after scandal was rocking the new kid in town, the motion picture business; Tinseltown; Hollywood. Overdoses on mercury bichloride, cocaine-addicted starlets, prostitution and drug rings, suicides, and an alleged raucous orgy ending in the rape and murder of an actress by one of the top stars. This was all occurring while this new art form was under constant scrutiny by Christian fundamentalists and early feminist activists on a moral crusade to "clean up" and save America from its sinful trajectory off which Hollywood's leaders seemed hellbent on profiting. It seemed like the wolves were closing in until Hollywood's leading power broker--the man who understood and capitalized on Americans' fascination with fame--decided to place one of his most loyal directors in charge of presenting a cleaner, more dignified image of Hollywoodland. And almost without missing a beat, that director was found dead in his home, bringing down all the heat Hollywood's leading power-broker wanted least. In the first part of this epic duology of History Impossible, we'll be looking at this power broker's place at the dawn of Hollywood and in the original culture war, the mysterious actor from England with a shrouded past that he hired as his propagandist, and the ominous circumstances leading up to that actor's death. Stay tuned for Part II in the coming weeks.

The Pop Quiz returns for a much lighter, more fun episode (or fun recounting for Molly, at least) of the third episode of History Impossible, the story of Simo Häyhä, the White Death, the Magic Shooter. Give this quiz a listen to see how Molly manages to find such a cold-blooded bad-ass mass-killer so "cute", manage to call him a butt-face, and still be in awe of his accomplishments and monk-like temperament. Also make sure to sympathize with Mr. von Sternberg as his patience is eternally tried by puns and silliness coming from his history-phobic significant other. So fix yourself a nice drink, kick back, and listen to two amateurs attempt to dissect the deeper meanings behind the man--the phenomenon--known as The White Death.

In the winter of 1939, a Soviet colossus came bearing down on the small Baltic nation known as Finland, sparking off a 105-day conflict known to history as the Winter War. Facing impossible odds, the Finnish Army did all it could to fight off their Russian invaders, all with the simple goal to remain free from tyranny. During the fighting, one man would set himself apart from the struggle with extraordinary deeds and yet come to symbolize the character of the struggle itself, as well as his nation. Claiming more individual kills in wartime as a sniper, this man, Simo Häyhä came to be known by many names, including the "Magic Shooter" and, according to his terrified and freezing enemies, the "White Death." This is the story of this gifted shooter, the things he accomplished, and how he came to represent the fortitude of a nation who would never trade in their freedom for empty success. Additional music by Moments and Eino Rautavaara.

For the second episode of History: Impossible, we have our second episode of An Impossible Pop Quiz! This time around, we discuss the misery that was the second episode of History: Impossible about sexual assault in times of war--in particular the American Civil War. As impossible (ha) as it might seem, we managed to have a few laughs, but unlike the first Pop Quiz, there is less of a narrative recap/discussion and more of a sober-minded discussion about the concepts explored in the episode. So fix yourself a nice drink, kick back, and listen to two amateurs attempt to dissect the deeper meanings behind sexual assault in the American Civil War.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contents graphic depictions of sexual assault and violence, occasionally involving minors. The American Civil War was supposedly a war of liberation. But the question of who some of these liberators actually were rarely gets asked. Most of the soldiers on the side of liberation--the Union Army--were simply grunts; uneducated, poor men who were completely unprepared for the horrors that awaited them. Equally unprepared were the women of the South, both white and black. Some feared having their property taken away from them. Others were the property and were told they were being freed. And yet both groups were only really concerned with their lives.  This is the story of roaming gangs of drunken hooligans, serial abusers and rapists, ostensibly socially-conscious racists, and pederasts, not to mention the legal system that protected them: not the picture of an army of liberators fighting for a noble cause that many of us were taught in school. Music thanks to Lobo Loco for the track "Work Wonders". (If you don't want to listen to the news/housekeeping, skip ahead to the five minute mark).  

And now for something completely different... In light of the fact that there inevitably will be delays and desires to hear more from the world of History: Impossible, I've decided to have my history-ambivalent lady friend Molly Pan along for the ride. And since she can't be bothered to learn anything unless a grade is being given to her (her words, not mine), we decided to start our own little History: Impossible side show where she does her damnedest to remember the story of the most recent episode. As I say in the introduction, this is a bit of an experiment and may one day become something of a treat for the future (fingers crossed) premium subscribers who enjoy this lighter fare (especially after the darkness I tend to subject you to with pretty much every episode).  So fix yourself a cocktail, a mug of tea, or whatever poison suits you and give a listen to the first of many History Impossible Pop Quizzes. 

WARNING: This episode contains harsh scenes and quotes involving mass murder, racial slurs, and child abuse. Nearly a century and a half before populist messaging was used to propel the unlikeliest and most divisive of candidates into the Oval Office, the groundwork was being laid amid the most terrifying time in American history. A true vision of a post-apocalyptic landscape on the verge of exploding into chaos all over again: a sense of corruption at every level of government, starvation in the streets, the constant threat of violence, rampant racist pogroms, and a nation still attempting to heal its self-inflicted wounds caused by a destructive Civil War all serve as the backdrop for the least and yet most likely rise of a firebrand demagogue who will change the landscape of populist politics forever, leaving a smoking crater of legislative destruction in his wake, and yet be completely forgotten to history. This is the story of this man--this original Donald Trump--and the world that created him and the world of which he took advantage to mould into his own. Thanks to Kevin MacLeod for the use of his song "Last Hope".

In this introductory episode to History: Impossible, self-imposed ground rules are laid out, information on past, present, and future is provided, and thanks to inspirations are given.  This will probably be one of the few times you'll hear such an off-the-cuff ramble in this series.