Worst Collection Ever

Adventure Comics #452 (1977) Guys, we had NO idea that this just happened to be “that one Aquaman story” when picked up this issue of ADVENTURE COMICS. Ah, god. This one doesn’t end on a fun note. Regardless, we find some joy here like the improbable laminating machine used to hand out Aqualad headshots as well as Black Manta’s plans for a Peter Benchley library. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Quasar #17 (1990) In this issue of Shawn’s favorite comic, QUASAR, some random-ass Elder of the Universe decides the time is right to have a bunch of super-powered speedsters race to the Moon, thus exposing the sad roster of Marvel speedsters. I mean, once you get past Quicksilver, the quality drops off dramatically. This is also the issue of QUASAR where its revealed that omnipotent space broccoli Eon is WEEKEND AT BERNIE’ing Quasar's dad. Also, Quasar bro Makkari (of the Eternals) dresses like Ace Ventura and for some reason, we ponder using a Ouija board to contact comic scribe Mark Grunewald (RIP) Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane #103 (1970) In this fascinating issue of SUPERMAN’S GIRLFRIEND, LOIS LANE, Lois marries Satan. Well, it’s not quite Satan but Satan-ish. Ok, its not Marvel’s Satannish BUT it is an alien posing as an Indian version of Sigfried & Roy who gets hot for Lois from deep space and decides to hypnotize tigers in hopes that she’s dumb enough to cover the story and show up so he can woo her. Turns out she is. Then, later in the book, Lois runs afoul of some evil wigs that make the wearer go FINAL DESTINATION on themselves. Supergirl has to save her ass because some cranky actor decided to set up some crooked real-life Patreons and didn’t like Lois being all inquisitive and stuff. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Avengers West Coast #70 (1991) We keep it local this week as we cover AVENGERS WEST COAST from 1991. Here, we have Julia Carpenter Spider-Woman farting around in Newport Beach, handling the (presumed) rampant thefts of seafood tapas. Or maybe someone’s double parked at the day spa, preventing Peter Gallagher from getting his eyebrows fluffed. A sad state of affairs in the OC. Glad Spider-Woman’s there. Also, Tigra and Iron Man go on a date to a bowling alley and we DON’T get to see it, Wonder Man gets huffy that Scarlet Witch won’t get over her non-existent kids and robot husband and Elvira (the vampire lady, not the Oak Ridge Boys song) makes an appearance. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Total Justice #2 (1996) Sometimes you can make a comic book out of a toy line and its awesome and then sometimes you can do one and its garbage. This is the latter. TOTAL JUSTICE was a toy line that put clunky plastic armor deals on DC characters. I had the random Despero figure (STILL HAVE IT IN 2018) in case you were wondering if I hold on to things forever. Anyway, the story is confusing and kind of gross because there’s this snot armor that J’onn whips up that adapts to whatever your power is. Captain Atom is here and he’s all indignant about not being able to get inserted into the main story and mash everyone. That part is pretty great. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Santa the Barbarian #1 (1996) To cap off our Holiday-themed month, we foist upon you SANTA THE BARBARIAN, a Rob Liefeld-curated book about angry Santas who fight robots, sit in thrones with hot elven lasses at their feet, stalk random dudes with knives and murder Jason Momoa doppelgängers. Sometimes, you just gotta take a swing and make a comic about a chromium trading card that came packed in a Wizard magazine.  There’s also a bevy of ads for other Maximum Press books and Image Comics-adjacent titles that I just don’t have the patience for. The 90s were just too extreme for me, guys. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Batman and the Outsiders [vol 1] #19 (1985) Continuing on with our Holiday comic book adventures, we check in to see what Batman and the Outsiders are up to. Turns out Geo-Force is ready to kill a creepy, life-ruining dude so Batman puts down his Criminology book and helps Halo call Superman to kill Brion. What results is a morality-based fight between Geo-Force and Superman that ends with justice (hopefully off-panel) because dudes be creepy and lousy. There’s also not enough Metamorpho which is a shame because he could’ve, like, turned into an X-Mas tree and the Outsiders could have opened their gifts around him or something. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Marvel Two-In-One #74 (1981) Ben Grimm and the Fantastic Four go X-Mas shopping and poor, blind Alicia Masters is stuck carrying a bunch of boxes in an inexplicably cruel act. I mean, hell, Reed can carry all the boxes himself so I don’t know why he’s making a woman with a legit handicap do it. Anyway, Alicia makes Ben write a letter to step-dad, the Puppet Master, who promptly gets out of jail and brings his James Carville-looking self to their holiday party. Then, out of nowhere, Franklin Richards guilts his family into flying Ben and the Puppet Master to Europe so Puppet Dude can get his evil clay and presumably star in low-budget horror films. Hijinks in Eastern Europe occur involving a cow-based woman. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Power Pack [vol 1] #53 (1990) We did some shopping over the holiday weekend and you lucky folks get to reap the rewards! For the first time, we cover POWER PACK, a book about four kids bestowed with super-powers by a dying alien horse. In this issue, Dr. Doom wants those powers so he sends Typhoid Mary to infatuate the blatantly underage Alex Power and Alex’s Doonesbury-looking dad into fighting over her crazy ass while she steals the secret to anti-matter control or something. It doesn’t go well so Mary goes back to Dr. Doom and ruins his couch but somehow is not immediately incinerated for doing so. She totally owes him a new couch. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Superboy [vol 2] #38 (1983) Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Superboy’s celebrating Thanksgiving here as well by ignorantly starving a prison filled with malcontent boys, roasting albino turkeys with his eyes and then hiding in the basement of the Kent’s house like he’s Eddie Munster’s pet dragon Spot. Then he goes all street justice on Lex Luthor instead of staying home and eating his weight in Stove Top Stuffing like he should. We also give our thoughts on the JUSTICE LEAGUE movie and we get a bit spoiler-y. Not too bad but its worth a heads up. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Cage [vol 1] #13 (1993) This CAGE book is pretty boring but we do our best to make it work. There’s 90’s excess abound with sinewy cyber-villains and the Tinkerer being all creepy in his truck using his violence-based trickery to get Cage to help him find his son who is conveniently being held with Cage’s brother and father. Also, Cage’s dad looks like the Afro-American version of Mr. Buzzcut from BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD; its uncanny. We also go off on a large tangent regarding this cadre of villains-for-hire that Cage’s captive family is mixed up in. There’s a guy named Kickback and a contract killer literally named Contract. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Batman: Hollywood Knight #1 (2001) “Batman” makes it out to the west coast finally but its not “Batman” Robin’s here too but he’s actually this bad-ass stunt man who has hair like Lobot from EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. Its an Elseworlds book so there’s all sorts of nuttiness that doesn’t count. Speaking of nuttiness, Jen and Shawn discuss the latest happenings on GOTHAM such as Bruce Wayne buying a nightclub with a handshake (just regular handshake too, not a cool secret one) and then ignoring alcohol restrictions for minors. All of a sudden, he’s that shady dude who used to sneak high schoolers into bars like “The Locker Room.” Pro tip: never go into a bar called “The Locker Room.” Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Silver Surfer [vol 3] #11 (1988) Its back to the Marvel cosmic universe as Silver Surfer and Nova search for pirates in Mos Eisley-ish kind of place that they have to go through space tar to get to. Surfer takes clothes from two dead guys to fit in like he’s in some sort of Salvation Army / Hunger Games deal. He ends up looking like a kid wearing an adult fireman’s outfit. Meanwhile, Nova (the Frankie Raye version) gets restless over her lack of space travels as she’s only been doing the herald thing for a few months. I feel ya, sister. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Doorway To Nightmare #2 (1978) Its Halloween and we celebrate by checking out one of DC’s many horror anthology series, this one hosted by Madame Xanadu (because Zatanna was probably in the JLA or something). This issue revolves around some physics girl who opens up a gate to Hell using SCIENCE~! and accidentally looks at a demon with large lady hips for too long and she gets possessed. Madame Xanadu uses her tarot cards to tell her egregious boyfriend to constantly spy on her while our physics girl gets more possessed, indicated by her taste for escargo and David Hasselhoff clones. Then we get a straight-up exorcism because its the 70s and Udo Kier is probably hanging out somewhere weirdly pronouncing the word “occult” like he does in SUSPIRIA. Anyway, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Ravage 2099 #21 (1994) Here’s one of those books that is supposedly written by Stan Lee although Stan Lee investing considerable time in a disgraced white-collar exec turned super-powered eco-warrior turned thorny Sabretooth story is dubious. I mean, maybe he did. I don’t know….he’s rich and could do whatever he wanted. Maybe it was a passion project. Or…maybe it was a passionFRUIT project and Stan Lee just wanted a refreshing Snapple Tea. Anyway, Ravage brings a dead manimal body as a housewarming gift and the main villain’s lackey looks like Howie Mandel from WALK LIKE A MAN. That was a movie where Howie Mandel is raised by wolves, gets assimilated into society and steals a Teddy Ruxpin.  Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield