Worst Collection Ever

TekWorld #1 (1992) We just can’t get out of this year of 1992, can we? Eh, its ok. That was the year WAYNE’S WORLD came out. It was a good year. In TEKWORLD, William Shatner creates a buff avatar for himself, a former cop named Jake Cardigan, disgraced by getting hooked on Tek, a VR drug that makes you relive the entirety of HBO’s ENTOURAGE. He goes to space jail, gets unfrozen in the future by a robot with a real attitude problem. Life’s changed so he takes on a gig as a private eye where he must find a falsely anorexic woman trapped in Mexico by Garth Brooks 2099. Got all that? Then at the end, a vagrant explodes. This is the best book ever. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Black Condor #1 (1992) Its the pride of the New Jersey wilderness, the Black Condor, this week as we dig in on this random, Primal Force hero’s book. This is not to be confused with the Black Condor that was a human baby who was raised by actual condors to legit fly and go on to impersonate a Congressman. No, this Black Condor was a genetically engineered by his grandfather Abe Vigoda and hangs out in the Jersey wilderness taking down crooks that look like Tom Savini. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation with Shawn and Jen on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Secret Weapons #4 (1993) Its our first foray into the Valiant Comics universe and surprisingly, its not an issue of ARCHER & ARMSTRONG seeing how every dollar box ever in any comic book store is 50% ARCHER & ARMSTRONG. ARCHER & ARMSTRONG is like ALPHA FLIGHT but its wearing a newsie cap. No, this week we cover SECRET WEAPONS, which is supposed to be Valiant’s AVENGERS-esque title but the main hitters (Solar, Ninjak) are only there for a minute while we fart around with the other geeks. This issue focuses on Stronghold, a mass-absorbing Hank Pym lookalike that gets so huge that he takes a nap in the East River. Also, a scientist eats a brain like that heart-eating doctor in JASON GOES TO HELL and a group of thugs get punted to death. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Nova Vol 2 #2 (1994) At this point, its quite possible that Fabian Nicieza has written every comic that we’ve done on this show. I mean, have we gone insane with New Warriors-related books? Let’s be honest, they are not that good. Bunch of boring young heroes doing boring young hero stuff like playing video games and pretending to be Batman. Anyway, Nova takes on the villainess Tailhook who might be his girlfriend and might be out there killing scumbags with a barbed whip. That doesn’t stop him from eating the largest order of curly fries the 616 has every seen.  Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Adventure Comics #420 (1972) Its a mish-mash of stories this week with Supergirl taking the helm. First up, she ends up on a planet of, like, four dudes. There are these three evil scientists bros who keep trying to kill this puke-colored Adonis guy who gets all inappropriate with Supergirl. Everyone dies, Supergirl does nothing and leaves. Then we FINALLY work in an Animal Man story where Buddy confronts bank robbers. Turns out in early Animal Man, Buddy had to be pretty much right next to the animal in order to get its powers. Even though there are birds and worms everywhere, Buddy can’t seem to do squat and has to fight around the docks where the zoo animals arrive. Lastly, we have two more stories. One is about a bunch of space golems protecting treasure by turning everyone into stone. The other is about Superman when he got turned into a dragon. Supergirl arrives, does nothing and leaves. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Alpha Flight #91 (1990) We’re back to Alpha Flight because we love it. Well, Shawn loves it. Jen’s not that impressed. In this issue, Dr. Doom sets a literal “thirst trap” as he tries to convince Canada to give him fresh water for his parched Latverians. Turns out though, the deal is some sort of gimmick to piss off Symkaria and Silver Sable’s king father. Alpha Flight ends up having to perform security detail for Doom this whole time but not before they cripple a bunch of dock workers trying to collect OT in Newfoundland. Its SAVAGE AF! (that Savage Alpha Flight, led by Randy Savage dressed as Vindicator…..dig it!) Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Justice League Task Force #0 (1994) We are caught between Easter and Wrestlemania as we head back to the 90s and the one of the #0 issues that surfaced due to DC’s Zero Hour event. In this one, a new Justice League Task Force is formed with the lead character being Martian Manhunter’s arm hair. To that point, I think Jason Mantzoukas could make a great J’onn J’onzz based on hirsuteness alone. We also discuss old MTV dating shows that Triumph could appear on if his HVAC career doesn’t take off. Also, Gypsy and the Ray continue to be useless while Despero sits there and reads self-help books. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Iron Man #55 (1973) We take on an actual CLASSIC comic with significant events and debuts that still manages to be stupid with IRON MAN from 1973. Thanos is here for the first time as is Drax and Starfox and all the other cosmic goobers you’ve grown to love. Still though, its a ridiculous book as Tony gets a wicked migraine and gets beat up in his office by two Monchhichis on steroids. He ends up hung over at Thanos’s place in the American Southwest where Bobby Flay’s making egg rolls while Drax is all tied up trying to figure out why his eyebrows are growing into his eyeballs like some horrific Martin Scorsese mutation. We also take a moment to pay tribute to the mighty Meltdown Comics here in LA, shutting its doors after twenty-plus years of cultural awesomeness. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Detective Comics #573 (1987) The Mad Hatter returns in this issue of DETECTIVE COMICS as he gets released from prison and immediately makes a hat out of a newspaper. Batman’s response is to run for city councilman with no political affiliation which goes as about as well as you’d expect. Mad Hatter shows up to throw a few razor fedoras while Jason Todd eats chocolate cake in front of Bruce Wayne’s gargantuan portrait of his dead parents. All of these are true; its up to you to decide the order. There will be a quiz after the show. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Annex: Crucible of Power #1 (1994) Annex is one of those Marvel characters that was introduced via poly-bagged card in the 1993 Annuals. He basically can use his suit of armor to think up guns and weapons and stuff as well as a new leg for himself (because his civilian identity is missing one). If he was smart, he’d think up a better color than 90’s fuchsia to make up his outfit. Also, he's the only superhero named after a word that I learned in 5th grade social studies. In this mini-series, Annex fights a pre-vegan Moby while Spider-Man cleans up his collateral damage. Annex's also got this deceivingly bloodthirsty scientist friend who kills some thugs with an electric doorway.  Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Infinity Inc #22 (1986) This week, we are in the midst of CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS in this issue of INFINITY INC which sees the Infinity-eers transported to the Monitor’s ship for the most awkward company picnic ever. Silver Scarab and Fury are farting around asking everyone “are you my mother” while Skyman sarges on Wonder Girl only to go down in flames. At least Plastic Man and Elongated Man seem to have a good time. We also got this weird time-displacement subplot where lady Doctor Midnight and Hourman XVII (in only his second lamest costume) fight off dinosaurs and Civil War re-enacters on South Carolina. This ain’t your momma’s Ken Burns documentary!! Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Justice: Four Balance #1 (1994) Something’s off because we are back in New Warriors land with this Justice/Marvel Boy/Vance Astro mini-series that reads like a formulaic episode of LAW & ORDER: SVU. Its basically “let’s cram everything about Vance’s life into four issues” as he uses his psychic Green Lantern powers to shakedown the Dickensian street urchins known as the Yancy Street Gang. Ben Grimm also shows up wearing his Persuader mask that no one remembers. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

L.E.G.I.O.N. ’93 #61 (1993) We have no idea what L.E.G.I.O.N. stands for (Licensed Extra-Governmental Interstellar Operatives Network - I looked it up) but it certainly doesn’t spell a cohesive comic that we would continue to read.  Well, let’s walk that back a bit. There are some good gags and Lobo is only in it for a few panels and is used quite well. But essentially, this is a stop-gap issue where L.E.G.I.O.N. throws a party on a planet inhabited by blue war bunnies and it ends up all going sideways because space aliens. There’s also this hipster Leatherface dude that serves as muscle for a chunky guy dressed in an ill-fitting bellboy costume who would most certainly be played by comedian Eddie Pepitone in the DCEU version of this comic. Not sure if its enough for us to buy in. Maybe if Eddie played his character from the excellent YouTube comedy strip PUDDIN, there might be a sale. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Chuck Norris - Karate Kommandos #1 (1987) This week, we take on our first-ever Star Comics book, which was a 1980s Marvel Comics line for folks that felt Power Pack was too intense. The Chuck Norris slant here is based off of his toy line and cartoon and not the scene in MISSING IN ACTION 2 where a captor hangs Chuck upside-down and puts a bag with a rat in it over his head but Chuck Norris ends up killing the rat with his mouth. The story goes off the rails pretty much almost immediately and never recovers. By the end, its basically RED DAWN for kids. Starring Chuck Norris. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield

Night Thrasher #3 (1993) Well, we’re back in boring New Warriors land but you know, we don’t hate this. I mean, its not good but its not offensive.  Night Thrasher gets into it with a kimono-wearing Wendigo gangster hybrid while Silhouette goes through a number of hairstyles from page to page like she’s Wonder Man or something. We also take the whole Night Thrasher origin for a walk because its basically a convoluted Batman origin that involves forced marriages and Vietnamese sorcerers. Please rate, review, subscribe and tell a friend! Email the podcast at worstcollectionever@gmail.com Continue the conversation on Twitter @angryheroshawn and @JenStansfield