Summary: My relationship with God has been hard and confusing at times. I trust Him conceptually, but I have a hard time identifying with Him past that. On the other hand, I feel like I know, love and trust Jesus much more. I want you to know that you aren’t alone if you have felt similarly.<br> <br> <br> <br> I’m not quite sure why I have had such a hard time with understanding God as a person or a parent. I think that a lot of it stems from how I was raised. I was raised to be incredibly independent and to not rely on others for anything. So it’s hard for me to know how to even rely on God as a parent. I’m fiercely independent.<br> <br> <br> <br> I talk about how I have found to trust Jesus and how he fulfills the promise He gave to Jacob in Genesis 28:15 “I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.” I believe that Jesus is just like that. He stays in the mess of our lives with us until He fulfills His promises He has made.<br> <br> <br> <br> Jacob then says in Genesis 28:16 “Surely the Lord is in this place & I knew it not.”<br> <br> <br> <br> There are so many times in my life that I fee like I am alone and then realize looking back, that the Savior was there with me the whole time - in the place I was in of loneliness, hopelessness, despair, shame, etc. He is always there - I just have to look to see Him.
