Episode 16: Being happy with who we are and where we are




The Musicks in Japan show

Summary: <p><strong>Summary</strong></p> <p>We talk about when we first “met” ourselves, how we evolved as people, and being happy with who we are. There’s a fair amount of politics talk, some talk about differences between Japan and California and between California and Alaska.</p> <p><strong>Transcript</strong></p> <p>K: Lately, I’ve been thinking about how happy we are, and mostly that’s because I had a client the other day in the middle of the session stop and look at me and say, “You seem really happy.” I was like, “Thank you. I am.” It was surprising to me because I had been sitting there with my… I have what I think of as a therapist scowl, where I furrow my brows and pay attention. So for them to read that as happiness was a little bit shocking to me. We started getting into a conversation about happiness, and they wanted to drill down into mine, and I was like, “Right on.” because I don’t do that tabula rasa thing, I do like, “Hey, you can ask me anything. I’m an open book.” I think all therapists should be, and I also think if your therapist doesn’t have a therapist, run, because your therapist needs a therapist.</p> <p>C: I think that blank slate is intended to keep boundaries and that you’ve learned to keep boundaries in other ways.</p> <p>K: Yeah, and I think it’s not appropriate in the day and age of social media because I’m on Twitter, we’re doing this podcast. Anybody can find out anything they want to know about me. I have a website. And so I think when that was kind of the ethos, it was well and way before social media. And I know because I’ve practiced therapy before social media and after social media, and I’ve had clients say, “How do I know you’re real if you’re not on Facebook?” So feeling like they couldn’t trust me if my life wasn’t out there for them to see. And I think with YouTube and Snapchat and Twitter and everything else that’s out there, we’re so used to being able to look into people’s lives and Google someone and by their social media, their Instagram or what have you, get a sense of at least what they want the world to think their life is. </p> <p>C: Right. We’re careful not to put anything on there that would facilitate stalking. So I think that’s part of why therapists are advised don’t share your life with your clients is because you’re not really sharing your life, you’re just sharing information about yourself.</p> <p>K: Yeah. And we have certain security measures in place for that. And so anything a client wants to know about me I’ll always tell them, because I view the hour as theirs and if they want to spend their hour talking about me, I ask them, “Are you sure you want to spend your time talking about me?” And sometimes they’re like, “Yes, because I want to know about you.” And I welcome that and I honor and respect their process. Because it could be part of their trust and bonding process. </p> <p>C: That was my thinking when you said that, is that I would want to know more about somebody to trust some, just because I so often encounter things that surprise me from people if I haven’t asked those questions. </p> <p>K: Yes, and my judgment is something that people are really relying on. And so knowing what opinions my judgment is based on. For me, something that I find most shocking is when I have very devout Christian clients who are okay with me being an atheist. And I’m just so humbled and honored by that leap of faith and their expansion of what somebody who has good judgment is their definition of that. Because to include me, it really does for some clients challenge their belief systems, but that’s not what this podcast is about. That’s not what this episode about. This episode is about knowing yo</p>