#158 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (30th May 2019) - letmeboreyoutosleep.com

Summary: Hi. My name is Jason Newland. Welcome to Let me bore you to sleep. This is a podcast aimed at boring you to sleep. In this episode, I talk about going to London for the day, to visit my friend. I’ve known him since 1991. We went and had fish and chips and a bottle of lager. I think I saw more people during the day, than I have for the last 6 months in my own town. London is a very busy place. I travelled from my train station, to London Liverpool street train station. (I say, “my train station”, but I don’t actually own it. However after the ticket price increase, I feel I know have shares in it.) I left my flat at about 10.50 am. I was catching the 11.03 am bus. It was a little late, but I managed to get to the train station with 8 minutes to spare, before my train that I was intending to travel on, was due to arrive. After paying for my return ticket and confirming what times I could travel, as I had an off peak time ticket, I had about 4 minutes until the train was about to pull into the platform, ready for the passengers to board. I decided to get myself something to eat, as I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten anything since the 4 fish fingers I scoffed at 5 am. It may have been 5.2 am, but I’m not 100%, as I don’t recall looking at the clock on my laptop when I was eating the fish fingers. They were quite hot to start with, so I had to wait for them to cool down, so that I was able to eat them without scolding my gums or tongue. I don’t enjoy foot that is too hot, entering my mouth as it feels quite painful. In the past, I have ended up with an ulcer in my mouth, and I wasn’t too pleased with that particular outcome. I feel that sometimes it is worth waiting a few minutes in order to avoid such a crisis. My friend needed to go to the bank, so we walked to it. I figured it would just be around the corner. In the end we ended up walking for what seemed like a very long time. Also, it was cold and damp. I couldn’t believe how quickly my friend was walking. I personally wouldn’t walk that fast, even if I was being chased my Godzilla, or a rabid penguin. I’m never in a hurry. I don’t see the point in rushing. My legs are like my brain. They only work when forced. Finally, when we arrived at the bank that we were travelling to, it was closed. Even though online, their website said they closed at 5 pm. We got there at 4.50 pm. My friend said that there was a timetable for opening and closing times, which said that that particular financial branch closed at 4.30 pm. By the way, when I say, “When we arrived at the bank”, It was actually my friend who arrived their, as I stopped walking, about 200 yards away. I couldn’t keep up with him. He said to me, “I’m 71, so I need to walk fast to keep fit”. I answered, ” After walking this fast, I now feel 71″. My friend went into Holland and Barrett health food shop and bought me some sweetener syrup as a present. Its really nice stuff and will help me to reduce my sugar intake. Its made of natural honey, or something like that. It tastes really yummy. I told my friend I will let him know when I run out, so he can send me some more. I think he thought I was joking. We walked back and about 5 minutes from his home, we went into a chip shop. He asked me what I wanted to eat. I asked him what he was going to have and he said that he was having Cod and chips. I said that I would have what he was having, as I figured it would be easier. In the past I’ve had issues, where I have ordered a different meal to the person I am eating with, and their dinner looks more delicious than mine. Then I spend the rest of the meal feeling resentful and ashamed of my life choices. So, I try to avoid such situations, by just copying what the person I am with is consuming. Unless, of course, it contains Bovril or peanut butter, but that rarely occurs in chip shops. By the way, if you don’t know what a chip shop is, its a a really good place to purchase chips. I can’t actually think about what else I talk...