The cats out of the bag...

IMG_4741
Originally uploaded by frankwit.

Seriously, what is the deal with cats and bags? I think they want to visit the dump. That must be it.

No More Road

No More Road
Originally uploaded by frankwit.

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Nintendo has announced that they will be bringing the hit Japanese Nintendo DS Brain Training titles to the US, now titled Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day, and Big Brain Academy, to be released on April 17th and May 30th, respectively.

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We've Moved Here

Come visit us at the new site!

Oregon woman countersues RIAA

This is the case peer-to-peer file sharers have been waiting for. Tanya Andersen, a 41 year old disabled single mother living in Oregon, has countersued the RIAA for Oregon RICO violations, fraud, invasion of privacy, abuse of process, electronic trespass, violation of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, negligent misrepresentation, the tort of "outrage", and deceptive business practices.

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VISIT US AT THE NEW BLOG SITE

Update your bookmarks and RSS feeds! We're leaving blogger behind! HERE

So you wanna be a hooters girl?

The smoking gun has published the employee handbook for working at Hooters. I always thought there was really only one requirment for working there... What's up though, the manual clearly states no mid-drift should show...

The art of lockpicking

A great video that gives you some good information on the art of lockpicking. (FrankWit claims no responsiblity for what you do with this information.)

Grinning bicyclist accused of carrying off uprooted pot plants

(9/14/05 - EUGENE, OR) - A bicyclist was arrested on drug possession charges this week after a police officer caught sight of him pedaling away with three uprooted marijuana plants under his arm.

Police spotted Dwayne Earl Anthony Etzel, 18, cycling in the early evening Monday with what they described as a "big smile" on his face.

"I see this guy riding up the street with what looked like a big old bush under his arm," said Eugene Narcotics Detective Scott Vinje. "It didn't click right away that it was marijuana. Then I smelled it."

Eztel is in the Lane County Jail on charges of burglary, drug possession, criminal mischief, escape and trespassing.

When police tried to stop him, Eztel allegedly threw the marijuana plants at the officer's car and pedaled off. After catching up with him, the officer used pepper spray to get the cyclist under control.

Around the time of the arrest, a local man called 911 to report that his medical marijuana plants had been stolen.

Shortcuts to get to the real asshole that can't help you... Instead of that automated one...

Press 1 if you would like to read about this link. Press 2 if you would like to move onto another website completely. Press 3 if you just crapped yourself from waiting on hold too long. Press 4 if you would like to hear other options... Press 5... mmmm beer...

Test your bullshitter finder skills..

Cuz you're bored like me...

Bush: 'I take responsibility'

Wow! Things have gotten so bad for bush PR wise that he's actually had to say that he takes responsibility for something. This is the first time he has ever said anything close to i've made a mistake... but of course not the first time he has lied to the public...

The "Work Blind" Curtain

This guy is desperate to avoid work... This is a beautiful idea... I might need to invest... although it wouldn't work too well for the car... make sure to visit his site... A while ago I mentioned an idea that I had about creating a "work blind". I actually ended up doing it. I had buttercup666 stand in my neighbor's cubicle and take a picture of me hard at work. Then I straightened the photo, undistorted it, and cropped it to the area in the doorway. I took it to Kinko's where they printed it onto vinyl, and grommeted the top with a kit that matrushkaka bought me. The result: The Work Blind. Think of it as the modern version of Jughead drawing eyes on his eyelids so that everyone thinks he's awake and paying attention all day, or Wile E. Coyote painting a tunnel entrance on the side of a mountain.

Let's hear about kindergarden from the pro's

Kid's say the darndest things.

BARBARA BUSH RELEASES "HOUSTON FOR THE UNDERPRIVILEGED" TOUR GUIDE

This was copied from WhiteHouse.org Make sure you pay them a visit. There's lot's to make you laugh there. BARBARA BUSH: Attention Great Unwashed Refugees of New Orleans! You know, this truly is the perfect time of year for you downtroddens to spend a few months vacationing in Houston while your homes are bulldozed into the Gulf. After all, it is so hot and miserable here that most normal folks will be indoors, so your unsightly loitering will barely be noticed! Honestly, I'm not sure which so-and-so invited you people, but now that you are here – which is sort of scary – I guess I might as well grit my dentures and wish you a "Happy Temporary Welcome to Texas!" Trust me: you'll love it so much here, you won't want to leave when we force you out!

Anyway, until then, here are some accommodations I suspect you'll probably like:

1. Overpasses: Featuring some of the most epically congested traffic in the nation, Houston has among the best overpasses you can unroll your sleeping bag or park your shopping cart under. With Tommy "Teflon" DeLay's constituents driving Beemers and Jags, you won't find any federally funded mass transit here. Most overpasses sport at least 20 lanes, so leaks are kept to a minimum, meaning standing puddles and hallucinating Catholics are as well. You'll wake up with fewer mosquito bites than you would riding the St. Charles trolley to the mansions you used to clean. Rats are a different matter, but I've heard that if you keep the fatback at least six feet from your bedding, you should be OK. And Houston rats don't have that pesky cholera.
2. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th Wards: You'll find your kind of people here. There is plenty of Texas hospitality in the form of sleeping arrangements because most of the residents stay up all night dealing. Heck, just knock on three or four doors at random and chances are one of your relatives will answer.
3. County and/or Municipal Jail: As much as you folks seem to love sleeping on concrete floors in sports arenas, you will undoubtedly be in seventh heaven having your own mattress in a cell where only a couple of people, rather than a couple thousand, reside. To ensure a space in these facilities, watch your crime. If you choose theft, in Houston, petty larceny will get you 30 to 90 days – whereas grand larceny involving millions of dollars and corporate bankruptcy yields little more than DOJ photo ops.
4. Lakewood Church: Joel Osteen is a beloved man of God in this town. He won't open his 700,000 square foot, ostentatious mausoleum/church to any poor, colored family, but he will be sure to say a prayer for you whenever the TV camera's red light is on or book publishers are sitting in the front pews.
5. Harris County Democratic Headquarters: Even during working hours, there is enough unused office space to house at least 1,000 degener -uh - disenfranchised.

So now that you're here, please make the best of it – whether you lost your house to Katrina or the repo man. Why, for all I know, you'll be improving your dreadful standard of living despite no longer having four walls and a roof over your head!

Oh – and if you or your brood of dirty children get hungry for some local cuisine, do have some cake!

FrankWit #21 9/12/05 : Return of the Ganda

I was just lookin' for some porn!

I don't have many words for this post, but your pornsite passwords would be much abliged..

Do you have a dirty mind?

Take a look at the picture first...

So, what did you see?

Now proceed and read below to find an explanation of what you really saw.

I'm sure you will find this very interesting.

Research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such scenario. What they will see are the nine dolphins. Additional note: This is a test to determine if you already have a corrupted mind. If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 3 seconds, your mind is indeed corrupted

Hell Pizza...

The following was found on flickr... My friend took a picture of this billboard over the weekend in Auckland, NZ. His email was sent with the title: New Zealand's view of American Political leadership. Not sure he knew at the time that this is an advertisement by Hell Pizza. The Auckland city council is due to vote today on whether they will remove this billboard due to "inappropriate" content. ...as if US - Kiwi relations would go into the crapper because of this message. Check out Hell Pizza's website... if only Papa Johns and Dominos were this cool: www.hell.co.nz/chooseCity.jsp You can always give them a call... 0800 666 111

Why poop stinks... and other poop facts you always wanted to know.

No one likes to talk about poop. I think everyone is curious about poop. So here is a website devoted to the subject. Got a question about poop?

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Human embryos have been created without using sperm... Men obsolete

The "virgin conception" embryos, which mark a new way to grow a woman's cells and tissues for a vast range of treatments, were revealed by an Edinburgh team. read more | digg story

BUSH: THEY WERE UNDERPRIVILEGED, SO THIS IS WORKING VERY WELL FOR THEM

BUNGLING Barbara Bush yesterday claimed poverty-stricken refugees who lost everything in Hurricane Katrina are actually better off thanks to the devastating floods. read more | digg story

Explore the sensual contours of earth's body.

"The pictures are so sensual it's hard to believe they are actually rocks and trees from Mother Nature. They are unbelievable really." read more | digg story

'Rolling Stone' publishes Hunter S. Thompson note

NEW YORK (AP) - Rolling Stone, the magazine that was home for years to Hunter S. Thompson, will publish a note written by the gonzo journalist days before he committed suicide in February.

Read Rolling Stone Article

Bread body parts (Great Picture)

Thai art student Kittiwat Unarrom has made bread his medium. His subject matter: the human form. The 28-year-old master's student will display his work at the end of the year at Bangkok's Silpakorn University. read more | digg story

Another math trick from our beloved nerds..

1. Grab a calculator. 2. type in the first three digits of your phone number (not area code) 3.multiply by 80 4. add 1 5. multilply by 250 6. add the last four numbers of your phone number 7. add the last four numbers of your phone number again 8. Subtract 250 9. divide number by 2 Recognize the number?

Cannabis Researchers Find Tool to Fight Obesity

How can this be? Normally after smoking people can suck down a 2 liter of soda, and a bag of chips.

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"Go f*** yourself Mr. Cheney!"

It's so nice to see people giving this administration what it deserves! VIDEO

God Outdoes Terrorists Yet Again

Louisiana National Guard Offers Help By Phone From Iraq

BAGHDAD—The 4,000 Louisiana National Guardsmen stationed in Iraq, representing over a third of the state's troops, called home this week to find out what, if any, help they could offer Katrina survivors from overseas. "The soldiers wanted to know if they could call 911 for anyone, or perhaps send some water via FedEx," said Louisiana National Guard spokesman Lt. Col. Pete Schneider. The Guardsmen also "would love to send generators, rations, and Black Hawk helicopters for rescue missions," but, said Schneider, "we desperately need these in Iraq to stay alive." Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld praised the phone support, but noted that it would take months to transfer any equipment from Iraq to New Orleans, saying, "You fight a national disaster with the equipment you have." MORE...

FrankWit #20 : 09/06/05 : Camera karma and the pachyderm

Getting Towed and that big fat elephant in the room...

The reality of airbrushing... not that hot after all (Must see to believe)

If you move your mouse across the image you'll see exactly how much has been changed. It's amazing to see. Can you even call the image a "real" person once it's done?

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Want to make your very own pornographic gingerbread cookies?NSFW

This site has templates and pictures for making your own HOT gingerbread cookies. Pornobread cookies are great fun for all! read more | digg story

Crazy Drunk Guy Caller

...I began receiving a number of very strange phone calls at work... whoever it was began to have actual conversations with me. He never identified himself, but it was apparent by the sound of his voice that this was no little kid. This was a grown man, probably in his forties or fifties, who was quite likely completely insane.

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We're all going to die... End-Of-World-Scenarios

As if my anxiety levels weren't already high enough to warrant and entire barge full of SSRIs to be pumped into my system on a daily basis... Here is a website called "Exit Mundi"devoted to end-of-world scenerios. If you feel safe at all, read these, you'll probably start living one day at a time, or maybe one minute at a time... all the brave men say... HO KA HEY!!!

"Isn't life a bitch? The world is going to end. You don't even have to be a religious fundamentalist to see that's true.

Some people collect postal stamps; Exit Mundi collects scenarios of what could go wrong with the world. Sure, our planet could get hit by an asteroid. But hey, that's nothing. Did you know we could all be munched away by hungry molecules? Or that our physicists could unintentionally wipe us all out while tinkering with particles? `Oops, sorry...'

Exit Mundi isn't in it for doom preaching, but strictly for fun. It's a fascinating thought: if that &*%#-comet didn't wipe out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago, we wouldn't be here pondering about apocalypses and armageddons in the first place. The dinosaurs roamed our planet millions of years longer than we did. If it wasn't for the comet, they still would.

That's why this site is a tribute to floods, quantum explosions and awfully big chunks of space rock falling out of the sky. If there's a lesson to be learnt, it should be that within every end looms the dawn of a new beginning. Sounds good, doesn't it?

How would you like to rate how wasted people look?

Remember hotornot.com? Well this website gives you the opportunity to rate how wasted the people in the photos look. Upload your own party pictures, and see what people think.

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Man walks around the world.

Karl Bushby's Record breaking attempt to walk around the world with unbroken footsteps. It will take over TEN years to complete and will cover over 36,000 Miles across four continents, 25 countries, crossing a frozen sea, six deserts, seven mountain ranges in one non-stop journey.

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Death Or Millions

"Government statistics show there are about 1.7 automobile caused fatalities for every 100,000,000 vehicle-miles. If you drive one mile to the store to buy your Mega Millions ticket and then return home, you have driven two miles. Thus the probability that you will join this statistical group is 2 x 1.7 / 100,000,000 = 0.000000034. This can also be stated as 'One in 29,411,765-'. Thus, if you drive to the store to buy your Mega Million ticket, your chance of being killed (or killing someone else) is nearly 6 times greater than the chance that you will win the Mega Millions Jackpot." —"Mega Millions Odds" by Durango Bill

Hicks continue to drive in circles, even with a gas crisis.

Police Officers in uniform looting a WalMart

This is unbelievable video. Police Officers in uniform looting a WalMart SuperCenter in New Orleans. When they get busted by the reporter, they act like they're looking for looters and start wandering around among the other people in the store. Seriously. Unbelievable. Its no wonder there's a problem with lawlessness. Click to view the video...

Republican Statements Made When Clinton Went To War.

"You can support the troops but not the president." --Rep Tom Delay (R-TX) "Well, I just think it's a bad idea. What's going to happen is they're going to be over there for 10, 15, maybe 20 years." --Joe Scarborough (R-FL) "Explain to the mothers and fathers of American servicemen that may come home in body bags why their son or daughter have to give up their life?" --Sean Hannity, Fox News, 4/6/99 "[The] President . . . is once again releasing American military might on a foreign country with an ill-defined objective and no exit strategy. He has yet to tell the Congress how much this operation will cost. And he has not informed our nation's armed forces about how long they will be away from home. These strikes do not make for a sound foreign policy." --Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) "American foreign policy is now one huge big mystery. Simply put, the administration is trying to lead the world with a feel-good foreign policy." --Rep Tom Delay (R-TX) "If we are going to commit American troops, we must be certain they have a clear mission, an achievable goal and an exit strategy." --Karen Hughes, speaking on behalf of George W Bush "I had doubts about the bombing campaign from the beginning . . . I didn't think we had done enough in the diplomatic area." --Senator Trent Lott (R-MS) "I cannot support a failed foreign policy. History teaches us that it is often easier to make war than peace. This administration is just learning that lesson right now. The President began this mission with very vague objectives and lots of unanswered questions. A month later, these questions are still unanswered. There are no clarified rules of engagement. There is no timetable. There is no legitimate definition of victory. There is no contingency plan for mission creep. There is no clear funding program. There is no agenda to bolster our over-extended military. There is no explanation defining what vital national interests are at stake. There was no strategic plan for war when the President started this thing, and there still is no plan today." --Rep Tom Delay (R-TX) "Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is." --Governor George W. Bush (R-TX)

Google Announces Plan To Destroy All Information It Can't Index

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA-Executives at Google, the rapidly growing online-search company that promises to "organize the world's information," announced Monday the latest step in their expansion effort: a far-reaching plan to destroy all the information it is unable to index. MORE...

Maynard

Took a picture of Maynard with my new camera. I couldn't resist posting it. I realize that this makes me a big PUSSY (pun intended) but he's a damn cute cat. This new camera is great! Canon Rebel XT

Nippy Mouse?

So you wanna be a porn star...

So you want to be a Porn Star? Just about every guy has thought about becoming a Porn Star at one time or another... and the majority of girls have, too. For some it's a fleeting thought, for others it's a fantasy, and some just wonder if they'd be good enough. And then there are those who really want to get into Porn, but they don't have a clue about how to get into "Porn City"

This website has a great Q & A. Get out there and make your parents proud!

Bonsai Potato?

Most college students and bachelors have these things laying around already. Come on, open up that bottom drawer in your fridge. You know there's a Bonsai Potato in there. Now you can harness the beauty of that rotting Russet! "Our Bonsai Potato takes 4 to 6 weeks to grow, versus a lifetime for a traditional bonsai tree-and the potato does all the work, since it requires no sun, water, or fertilizer. This tongue-in-cheek kit is a humorous poke at Western culture's desire for inner peace and tranquility coupled with our hunger for instant gratification and chronic lack of time." Better than the pet rock I think.

Dildog...

This would be an embarrassing situation at some sort of mixed family get together. "Mary, does your dog have a dildo in its mouth?"

A web of musical similarity...

Play around with this one for a while. Basically you type in a band or a movie and it shows you graphically, based on relevance, other artists/movies you may like. Very very cool. I was playing with this thing for over an hour. You have to give it a try.

Very cool web design... Shop by color

This is a great web design. I like the idea here, and I bet we see more and more of this. Basically you click on a color and it brings up items that match that color. You have to give it a try for yourself. I'm not a shopping freak or anything. I just think this kind of format could be used for anything from music to choosing paint colors for a home.