Old Millennials Remember Movies

It happened to Sandy Bullock. It can happen to you. Computer technology in the 1990s was amazing... just look how fast master programmer Angela Bennett orders that disgusting anchovy-riddled pizza in the opening minutes of "The Net." She seems to have high-speed internet back before that was a thing, so good for her. But technology has a dark side, and before long Angela's entire identity is stolen, including her house, job, and (probably) some leftover anchovy pizza. Maybe it's for the best, because almost nobody in Angela's life even knows what she looks like. Even worse, she used to have an intimate relationship with Dennis Miller. In your dreams, Dennis Miller! The Old Millennials follow Sandy Bullock on the information superhighway of "The Net," or maybe the titular "Net" stands for something far more sinister...

It happened to Sandy Bullock. It can happen to you. Computer technology in the 1990s was amazing... just look how fast master programmer Angela Bennett orders that disgusting anchovy-riddled pizza in the opening minutes of "The Net." She seems to have high-speed internet back before that was a thing, so good for her. But technology has a dark side, and before long Angela's entire identity is stolen, including her house, job, and (probably) some leftover anchovy pizza. Maybe it's for the best, because almost nobody in Angela's life even knows what she looks like. Even worse, she used to have an intimate relationship with Dennis Miller. In your dreams, Dennis Miller! The Old Millennials follow Sandy Bullock on the information superhighway of "The Net," or maybe the titular "Net" stands for something far more sinister...

There are bad Christmas movies, and then there's "Jingle All the Way," a movie worthy of its own awful category. "Normal guy" Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a lazy dad to the future Darth Vader, and comedian Sinbad plays a deranged terrorist. Ho Ho Hilarity ensues. Their kids want rare Turbo Man action figures for Christmas... well Anakin wants a Turbo Man. Does Sinbad even have a kid? He sounds made up. A bunch of insane things happen, Arnold flies around in a jet pack like he's trapped in a Looney Tunes cartoon, and Phil Hartman (RIP) tries desperately to salvage the whole thing. It's a movie so bad in so many different ways, it's almost worth watching. Note: "Jingle All the Way" hates Minnesotans, depicting the citizens of the Minneapolis/St. Paul metropolitan area as an angry mob of criminals. The Old Millennials know very well the people of Minnesota are wonderful. Sorry, Minnesota, for "Jingle All the Way." Also discussed this episode: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)Shirkers (2018)The Night Before (2015)National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

There are bad Christmas movies, and then there's "Jingle All the Way," a movie worthy of its own awful category. "Normal guy" Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a lazy dad to the future Darth Vader, and comedian Sinbad plays a deranged terrorist. Ho Ho Hilarity ensues. Their kids want rare Turbo Man action figures for Christmas... well Anakin wants a Turbo Man. Does Sinbad even have a kid? He sounds made up. A bunch of insane things happen, Arnold flies around in a jet pack like he's trapped in a Looney Tunes cartoon, and Phil Hartman (RIP) tries desperately to salvage the whole thing. It's a movie so bad in so many different ways, it's almost worth watching. Note: "Jingle All the Way" hates Minnesotans, depicting the citizens of the Minneapolis/St. Paul metropolitan area as an angry mob of criminals. The Old Millennials know very well the people of Minnesota are wonderful. Sorry, Minnesota, for "Jingle All the Way." Also discussed this episode: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)Shirkers (2018)The Night Before (2015)National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

Kevin McAllister is left Home Alone for Christmas, and the Old Millennials don't think it was an accident. We know Uncle Frank is a creep, and that Kevin's brother Buzz is headed for juvie, but let's not forget about absentee father-of-the-year Peter McAllister (RIP John Heard) and the great Milking-of-Kevin's-Airplane-Ticket Incident of 1990. He left Kevin there on purpose! "Home Alone" was a classic growing up, so we have a lot to discuss -- Angels with Filthy Souls, Macaulay Culkin Fever, lazy Chicago cops, the John Hughes Canon, Wet Bandit logic, John Candy (RIP!) improv, deleted scenes and why the snotty pizza guy might be the MVP of the whole movie. Okay, that last one might be a stretch, but it's Old Millennials Remember (Christmas) Movies!

Kevin McAllister is left Home Alone for Christmas, and the Old Millennials don't think it was an accident. We know Uncle Frank is a creep, and that Kevin's brother Buzz is headed for juvie, but let's not forget about absentee father-of-the-year Peter McAllister (RIP John Heard) and the great Milking-of-Kevin's-Airplane-Ticket Incident of 1990. He left Kevin there on purpose! "Home Alone" was a classic growing up, so we have a lot to discuss -- Angels with Filthy Souls, Macaulay Culkin Fever, lazy Chicago cops, the John Hughes Canon, Wet Bandit logic, John Candy (RIP!) improv, deleted scenes and why the snotty pizza guy might be the MVP of the whole movie. Okay, that last one might be a stretch, but it's Old Millennials Remember (Christmas) Movies!

Two selfish dreamers make a series of terrible decisions based on "signs" because "fate." But, hey, it's romantic! There are a couple of warm, Christmas-set scenes, an idealized version of New York City, and John Cusack pushing that classic Cusack-Charm to its absolute limit. Look, it's a bad movie, but maybe, just maybe, the world is a better place with "Serendipity" in it. The Old Millennials go deep but still make time for some terrible British accents.

Two selfish dreamers make a series of terrible decisions based on "signs" because "fate." But, hey, it's romantic! There are a couple of warm, Christmas-set scenes, an idealized version of New York City, and John Cusack pushing that classic Cusack-Charm to its absolute limit. Look, it's a bad movie, but maybe, just maybe, the world is a better place with "Serendipity" in it. The Old Millennials go deep but still make time for some terrible British accents.

Bill Murray and Christmas. It should be a great fit. Heck, Bill Murray and anything is a great fit. So what happened with "Scrooged"? It's a dark, comedic (?), very 1980s revival of "A Christmas Carol" with Murray firing ad libs with reckless abandon. There are a couple of iconic moments here, but also 90 other minutes filled with aggressive slapstick and yelling... so much yelling. The Old Millennials discuss whether "Scrooged" deserves to be on the naughty or nice list.

Bill Murray and Christmas. It should be a great fit. Heck, Bill Murray and anything is a great fit. So what happened with "Scrooged"? It's a dark, comedic (?), very 1980s revival of "A Christmas Carol" with Murray firing ad libs with reckless abandon. There are a couple of iconic moments here, but also 90 other minutes filled with aggressive slapstick and yelling... so much yelling. The Old Millennials discuss whether "Scrooged" deserves to be on the naughty or nice list.

Back in 2001, on the cusp of adulthood, we old millennials saw the first Harry Potter movie. Maybe we didn't appreciate it so much at the time (we were jerky teenagers), but we eventually turned into major Potter Heads. How does the film hold up 17 years later? How did our kids react to seeing it for the first time? Why doesn't Quidditch make sense? The Old Millennials return to Hogwarts and also check in on some major 2018 year-end releases.

Back in 2001, on the cusp of adulthood, we old millennials saw the first Harry Potter movie. Maybe we didn't appreciate it so much at the time (we were jerky teenagers), but we eventually turned into major Potter Heads. How does the film hold up 17 years later? How did our kids react to seeing it for the first time? Why doesn't Quidditch make sense? The Old Millennials return to Hogwarts and also check in on some major 2018 year-end releases.

"Beethoven," like many 90s children's movies, is more disturbing than you remember. The villain is a veterinarian who needs a giant dog so he can test out some exploding bullets. Charles Grodin mistakes the licks of a St. Bernard for the flirtatious kisses of his wife. Stanley "The Tooch" Tucci is here as a henchman with an unnerving dialect. The dog slobber. So much dog slobber. Can "Beethoven" overcome all this and be an enduring children's classic for future generations? Regardless of the answer, Charles Grodin is annoyed by the question.

"Beethoven," like many 90s children's movies, is more disturbing than you remember. The villain is a veterinarian who needs a giant dog so he can test out some exploding bullets. Charles Grodin mistakes the licks of a St. Bernard for the flirtatious kisses of his wife. Stanley "The Tooch" Tucci is here as a henchman with an unnerving dialect. The dog slobber. So much dog slobber. Can "Beethoven" overcome all this and be an enduring children's classic for future generations? Regardless of the answer, Charles Grodin is annoyed by the question.

They're the few. They're the proud. They're the Waterboys! Back in the 90s, there was a thing called Pauly Shore. "In the Army Now" is the movie where Pauly shaved off his gorgeous mane and went to the desert to face scorpions, cultural stereotypes and a streaking Andy Dick. Pauly Shore may be a punchline now, but was there a brief time in the universe where his movies were...entertaining? What We've Been Watching BlackkKlansmen (2018) Incredibles 2 (2018) Walking Tall (2004) Miami Connection (1987)