Mind Over Matter: Podcast show

Mind Over Matter: Podcast

Summary: Mindset is everything. The moment you become fearless, life becomes limitless. I share stories of personal experience to inspire you to live the life you dream about. Use fear to fuel you, not rule you.

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  • Artist: Heather Hakes
  • Copyright: Copyright Heather Hakes LLC 2019


 Homeless to Getting Back on Track: A Tale From My Uber Driver | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:27:28

Episode #121   You Never Know Who You’ll Meet! This week, Keith Fitzpatrick joins me to share how he went from homeless, to getting back on track. Just a few weeks ago I landed in Nashville for a bachelorette party weekend and called an Uber to get to my Airbnb. That’s where I met Keith. I love talking to people and hearing their story. Keith shared with me that he’s a dance choreographer and not too long ago was homeless. Obviously I wanted to know more. When he dropped me off I asked if I could get his info and bring him on the podcast. An important question I wanted to know – how do you get to the point of literally living out of your car? Change Your Focus We’re all on our own journey with life lessons to learn. Keith is no different. What I liked most about his story was how he embraced his situation, didn’t play victim and how he got himself back on track. Keith spent nearly three years living in the Wal-mart parking lot while sleeping in his car. He showered at his local gym each day and stayed busy with multiple jobs.  He realized he got himself into this mess, he had to get himself out. He started by asking “What am I going to do?” and “How will I change the way I think?” Learn From Each Experience Keith believes that this experience was a test from the universe. Rather than feel sorry for himself and play victim, he chose to learn from the experience by redefining life. He had to figure out what was really important to him. The first step was accepting responsibility for his choices up to that point. Then, he got resourceful. There was a Lowe’s home improvement store next to Wal-mart where he learned he could logon to wifi. He started researching ways to rebuild his credit, and after eight months, he was back in the 700’s.  Keith’s mantra was this: no matter what, I’ll be ok.  To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN

 Trust The Timing of Your Life | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:07:45

Episode #120 Trust. That’s a tough word for many. Trust the timing of your life – that can be a tough pill to swallow. I know what it’s like to get caught up in wishing or hoping you were somewhere else. Whether that be in a relationship, different job, living elsewhere, more money, traveling – whatever your “different” may be, you’re wasting your energy focusing on that. Instead, I offer to you to trust the timing of your life. Trust that you are exactly where you’re meant to be right here, right now. When you can get into a state of trusting, you let go of resistance (the wishing for something different). You step into allowing. By being in a state of allowing, your desires can flow freely to you. I’m serious.  This isn’t woo woo or airy fairy, I’m speaking from personal experience. In the past, when I tried to rush things or make things happen, I really learned what “haste makes waste” meant. Nothing good comes from a hurried state. Trying to control your life and the timing, is as if you know better than whatever higher power you believe in. Get out of the drivers seat.  Let go, let flow. Four measly words, but so much power behind them. When you can live in a state of surrender, trust and belief, you can literally float through life. You’re no longer functioning as a boulder trying to dam up the flow. Get on your raft and enjoy the ride! Can you trust the timing of your life?! To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN  

 5 Steps to Change Your Negative Narrative | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:23:09

Episode #119   It’s Time to Change Your Negative Narrative! Dr. Nicole LePera joins me this week to share her five steps to change your negative narrative. You may be asking, “What’s a negative narrative?” Without be consciously aware, or because it’s become such a pattern, the thoughts you think and the language you speak create your reality. If you are always speaking from a negative angle such as “never, can’t, should, try” or live life with a victim mentality (that everything happens TO you), these are examples of negative narratives. The good news? You have 100% power to empower your life and create the reality you truly desire.  We’re Energetic Beings Quantum physics states that we, and our surroundings, are all energy. Atoms and subatomic particles to be exact. We’re energetic beings emitting waves of energy. If you habitually emit negative, that’s what you will get. Another way of saying it is, life is a boomerang, what you put out, you get back. If  your current reality isn’t exactly what you hoped or planned for, you can change it by thinking new thoughts. Your thoughts create emotion and emotion is a frequency that attracts like. How do you do this? Pair your new thought (positive or focused on the desire you want) with a new feeling. Daily, consistent habits will literally turn your reality around.   Change Your Focus When you step into a new energetic state and act as if your desire is already true, it must show up. It’s law. Change your focus on who you want to be. When you believe it and feel it, you will become it. Nicole shared five steps to change your negative narrative: Self awareness Identify patterns Prioritize area(s) of life Pinpoint negative narrative Replace it with affirmation (new thought) Developing sustainable habits is possible. Small steps each day will create a new reality. Train yourself to have motivation that it’s worth it.  Are you ready to attract your desires?   To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN

 7 Tips to Break Free From Social Conditioning | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:07:27

Episode #118 This week, I’m sharing with you my 7 tips to break free from social conditioning I’ve had this same conversation multiple times over the last few weeks and realized the importance of helping my audience let go of the pressures of social conditioning.  As I wrote about in my book, Take the Leap (available on Amazon and Audible), I knew there had to be more to life than what we’ve been told. Go to college, get a job, pay bills, live for the weekend or next holiday and wait to live the good life when you can finally retire. These are just a few of the ways in which we’ve been socially conditioned to how it “should be”.  Peer pressure isn’t just for teens. I feel that in this ever evolving world, we’re pressured socially as adults. Whether it revolves around drinking, or wanting to fit in with having material objects or accolades, or trying to keep up with the Jones’. I think there’s a better alternative – liberate yourself and your live your life to do things you actually WANT to do. Be ready for more.  The boring box that has been created and most people live in, is not a way of living at all. In order to find contentment, joy, passion and purpose, you have step away from the social norm. You have to be willing to follow your inner compass. You have to get comfortable, being uncomfortable in order to push past your comfort zone.  I have compiled a list of seven ways you can break free from social conditioning. I know that by using these as a model, you can re-write your story. You can be living your best life. Check out my seven tips below. 7 Tips to Break Free From Social Conditioning:  Self Care is necessary, not selfish Challenge yourself by getting out of your comfort zone Level up by surrounding yourself with ambitious people Learn to say no Quit your terrible job Let go of toxic relationships Try new things Are you ready to live your best life?! To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN  

 How to Navigate Change | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:21:58

Episode #117   How to Navigate Change Tami McVay joins me for this week’s podcast in which she shares how to navigate change. She went from Marine Corps, to working IT jobs in corporate to mentor. After a tough year with losing close friends and being burned out from a demanding work project, she took the leap and quit to pursue more heart centered work. Leaving a stable corporate job with benefits and paid vacation wasn’t easy – Tami even talked herself off the ledge by thinking worst case scenario. Her worst case? If it didn’t work out, she could always get another “job”. In this interview, Tami shares how to navigate transition and change. One key note she shared – you have to go all in. Burn your safety nets with only one foot in and give it all you’ve got. In the process you will learn what works, and what doesn’t.  Courage – Confidence – Commitment  Having a marine corps background, Tami shares her three go-to’s: Courage, Confidence and Commitment.  Courage – having courage requires you to get out of your comfort zone. It requires effort. It also requires that when you feel that hesitation, that resistance, you forge on.  Confidence – building confidence requires mental prowess. It’s about releasing self doubt. It’s an internal knowing that you CAN accomplish whatever you set out to do.  Commitment – going all in is commitment. Self discipline and mindset are everything. You can’t half-ass your efforts. Nothing half-assed is worth it. The worst case? You learn, you grow and you gain confidence by committing. Create Daily Routines I’ve shared the importance of a morning routine before. Having a morning routine creates momentum for your day. It helps with focus, alignment and productivity. Tami shares that she practices daily gratitude, meditation and knowing her mission and vision to keep her going. Have you created your morning routine?   To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN

 4 Ways to Break Bad Habits | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:07:59

Episode #116 If there’s anything I want to teach, it’s about breaking bad habits. This week, I’m sharing my four tips to do just that. We all have habits that don’t serve us. The question is, how bad do you want change?  A habit is simply regular behavior that is hard to give up. The good news, not impossible to change! I think what it really comes down to is do you want peace of mind? Do you want to finally lose the weight? Do you want to be happy? 4 Ways to Break Bad Habits:  Understand trigger Change your language  Step back and analyze Replace the bad habit Isn’t it comforting to know it’s this simple? Just four steps to literally change your behavior. First of all, understanding the trigger simply means when you’re feeling the negative emotion (stress, insecure, anxious, overwhelm etc) what caused it? Maybe it’s a stressful day that leads to drinking. Next, think about the language you use when you are triggered. You may say things like, “I’m stressed, I’m not enough, I can’t, I’m anxious” or place blame on someone else. Nobody is in control of you or your emotions but YOU. Don’t give your power to someone else. When you notice the negative language, turn it around. Reframe it.  Third, step back and analyze the big picture. Take control of what you can control which are your emotions, language and reactions. Think about how you really want to feel. Is it calm, at peace, confident? Finally, replace your bad habit. I suggest doing things like physical activity, listening to positive and uplifting content, calling a friend or playing music that makes you feel good. If it’s food that you’re triggered by, replace with a healthier alternative.  By using these four steps when you’re triggered, you can begin to break your bad habits. As with anything, it’s about consistency and being aware. Build good habits.  Don’t beat yourself up. It took time to create and live in that bad habit, it will take time to turn it around. Be patient, be kind to yourself and stay focused on how you really want to feel. Building good habits are just like building muscle. You can’t lift a dumbbell once and have nice biceps just like you can’t replace a bad habit once and call it good. The more you are aware of your triggers, the more control you have in allowing them to affect you negatively. Are you ready to break your bad habits?! To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN  

 How to Transform Your Relationship With $ Money $ | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:27:02

Episode #115   How to Transform Your Relationship With Money Dan Harrison joins me this week to help you transform your relationship with money. Dan teaches this transformation from personal experience – he went from over $500k in debt to financial freedom!  So many of us have restricted our money flow. If you’re always thinking about debt, trying to get out of debt, or even lessen your debt – you will attract more debt. Instead, think of ways you could have financial abundance. To get to the root of your money stories, it’s important to go back – way back to your earliest memory of money. What was the money story of your parents or those closest to you? You likely have the same beliefs around money and that is buried in your subconscious. The good news – as Dan shares, he had negative money beliefs that stemmed from childhood. Getting the mail was never fun because the focus was on more bills. But he also had his grandmas story – money could be found anywhere, especially in his cake! Language is Powerful Your beliefs around money are what create your money story. I have good news, as with anything, you can turn negative beliefs into positive and create more abundance. Check back on this episode to learn how to change your language by clicking here. As I touched on earlier, to get out of debt is still focusing on debt. The subconscious mind and your beliefs create your reality. Instead of debt, think and speak about financial freedom. It’s about changing your story. Dan asked himself a powerful question when he was in the debt trenches: Why am I creating these results? He was tired of struggling and knew there had to be a better way.  By creating a new image and story, his experience with money began to shift. The important thing to note here, it was never about money. When you change the inside (your beliefs and stories) the outside has to change too.  Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees Ah, the old adage: money doesn’t grow on trees. The funny thing about this old belief, it’s well, happening. Many states in the U.S. and now Canada have legalized weed. Did you know marijuana is a plant? Money is now literally growing on trees!!  Eliminating Money Stressors #1 stressor in relationships is money. But, it doesn’t have to be! Dan has created wealth conscious programs for entrepreneurs and couples. I highly suggest this program if you have been struggling with money.   To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN

 7 Steps to Become a Master Manifestor | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:11:42

Episode #114 This week, I’m sharing my seven steps to become a master manifestor. Manifesting is fun. Perhaps you know a little something about this from the Law of Attraction or The Secret. I’ve been able to manifest things for years. I imagine you have too whether you’re aware of it or not. I want to share my seven steps with you so you can be doing it regularly and with intention. 7 Steps to Become a Master Manifestor:  Have a clear desire  Ask the Universe Release the need to know the how Trust process Let go, let flow Keep vibration high Clear resistance When you are clear on the end result (specific dollar amount, travel destination, pounds you want to let go of etc) and then you let go of the how, it provides the quickest route for it to come to you. I know you may think you know what’s best, but trust me, let go and allow the process to unfold. By using these seven steps regularly, you can literally manifest whatever you desire. The key is letting go of resistance (the how and timing) and trust that your desire is on its way.  Today is a great day to manifest my desires.  Have fun with this! Once you are clear on your desire, it’s equally important to feel the feelings of already having it. For example, if you desire more money but you are tight with what you have or always focused on lack or debt, you are creating resistance.  When I desired to go on vacation, I was clear about two things: blue water and 80+ degree weather. That’s it. I didn’t try to control the outcome with the destination, timing or any other details. And in less than three days, I was booked on a trip for two weeks later and it cost less than $600! Thank you Universe! Are you ready to be a master manifestor?! To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN  

 Your Language Creates Your Reality | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:27:22

Episode #113   Your Language Creates Your Reality Tiffany Toombs, joins me for this weeks topic: your language creates your reality. I’ve touched on this before and that is, what you speak about, you bring about. Your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between real and imaginary or positive and negative. The overall topic here is NLP. NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming. In short, NLP is the connection between neurological processes (neuro-), language (linguistic) and behavioral patterns learned through experience (programming). I realize that’s a mouthful. The good news – your wiring or past experiences can be changed. Once you uproot your early (oftentimes negative) beliefs about something and then change the language by framing in a positive light and speaking of only what you DO want, you can achieve specific goals.  First Step to Rewiring Your Behavior According to Tiffany, self awareness is the first step. For example, if you constantly find yourself procrastinating, you have to ask yourself questions to know why. Do you feel that you’re not good enough (for end result), do you have worry, doubt or fear of failure?  Then, you have to go deep – where did this seed get planted? This may sound difficult but it’s not. By figuring out the root cause of a behavior you can begin to make changes. It normally comes down to changing your story – more on this in this previous post.  Language is Powerful The words that you are using literally create your reality. Tiffany shares some words it’s time to remove from your vocabulary: don’t, can’t, try, hope.  It’s equally important to filter what you’re consuming. This goes for what you listen to, read and what you scroll through on social media.  When it comes to goal setting, so many focus on what they DON’T want and wonder why they get more of it. Perfect example – debt. Most people don’t want debt or want to get out of debt. By speaking of debt, you can only create more debt. Instead, flip it – focus on increasing your money flow. Creating more abundance.  It’s important to focus on opportunity rather than lack. Your words and thoughts are tied to emotions. What you emit, you get more of. Choose wisely.   Final note, focus on what you do want, change your language, and know your desire is coming. All you have to do is allow and take inspired action.  To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN

 7 Benefits of Tidying Up | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:07:24

Episode #112 If you haven’t hopped on the Marie Kondo tidying up wagon yet, now’s your chance. I’m providing you with 7 benefits to tidying from my personal experience. I watched a couple of episodes on Netflix to know what the craze was all about – and then I started my own tidying up journey. I’ll be very up front, it can be an overwhelming experience, but like anything new, start small and KEEP GOING. It will get better. There are five categories in the KonMari method:  Clothing Books Papers Komono (miscellaneous) Sentimental It’s important to go in order and finish each category before going on to the next. It’s not about tidying up each room, but rather following in order each category. Whether you’re tidying clothes, shoes or books, you’ll literally pile everything into one space to first see how much you have and then to let go of those items that no longer spark joy. Sparking joy is what this process is all about. Although it may sound cliche, now that the process is over I literally do have joy in each room, when I open drawers and closets etc.  Now, to my list of benefits. I’ve compiled seven benefits I have experienced since tidying.  Feel lighter – by letting go of things that you don’t use or need, you will open up space in your home. From closet space, to cupboard space, to shelf space and beyond. You’ll actually feel lighter. Sparked joy – yes, you will have sparked joy! Opening drawers and seeing organization, seeing the floor, knowing where things are, all of these and more are reasons to feel joy in your home. Peace of mind – your outer environment is a direct reflection of your internal environment. By tidying up, you will feel lighter, have sparked joy and yes, have peace of mind. Completed tasks – following the KonMari method, you will be able to actually complete tasks. Rather than have piles or unfinished tasks everywhere you look, you will be able to focus and complete tasks. Productive – waking up and living in a tidy space promotes productivity. With the peace of mind of clear space, you can tackle your to-do list and accomplish more than before. Take inventory – once you’ve tidied your space, you’ll know what you have and what you need. You may realize you may have multiple of many things such as medicine, cleaning supplies, vitamins etc. Sustainable order – finally, the best feeling of all, sustainable order. Unlike other forms of decluttering, this process creates sustainable ways of staying tidy. Are you ready to spark joy?! To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN  

 How to Combat Your Inner Critic | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:27:22

Episode #111   How to Combat Your Inner Critic Tony Whatley, author of Side Hustle Millionaire, joins me to share his tips on how to combat your inner critic. For most of us, your inner critic is loud and holds you back with fear. Tony shares ways he’s learned to process his thoughts and emotions. Rather than fear holding him back, he asks himself, if what he’s doing is something worth doing. If the answer is yes, he pushes through the doubts and fears knowing the impact he can make far outweighs playing small.  As a driven, high performer, Tony is always looking for the next thing. He’s been able to get comfortable being uncomfortable. As I always say, it’s about letting fear fuel you, not rule you. Tony has multiple business ventures that challenge him and enable him to be constantly growing.  What if I win? In addition, I found this statement very powerful: “Rather than what if I fail, what happens if I win?” Taking risk, and busting outside of your comfort zone is about looking at the potential upside. What reward can come out of this? What if I WIN?!  Society has conditioned us since our early years to fit inside of a box. To be like everyone else. That is total BS and boring if you ask me. If you break apart the word (outstanding) it literally means standing out. For just a moment, think about someone who you admire. Is it an artist, athlete, singer, or actor? We admire their qualities but tend to play small when we think of that possibility for ourself.  Be aware of your triggers Tony’s been able to reverse engineer his inner critic. Rather than go down a rabbit hole with doubt and fear, he calls himself out. Gaining awareness to your thoughts and behaviors is key. It’s important to be able to ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this emotion?” And finally, be aware of your triggers – what makes you feel happy, confident, angry, worry and fearful? Finally, fear and confidence are both imaginary. Decide which you’d rather live with. The good news, both exists only in the mind. Growth is overcoming fear, and anxiety and complacency is why you aren’t getting ahead.  To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN

 Worrying: A Waste of Your Time and Energy | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:07:45

Episode #110 Worrying: a waste of your time and energy. We have all spent time worrying. Sometimes justifiably, but I would be willing to bet you would admit most of the time, it was time wasted. In this week’s blog, I’m sharing with you my recent worry and how you can change your habit of worrying. First of all, as I’ve shared, I’m training for an upcoming marathon. My knee pain was to the point of constant sharp pain and I was afraid I had injured something major. I booked a doctor’s appointment on a Monday and was able to get in the very next morning. I spent most of Monday worrying about the what if’s: what if I’ve blown my knee, what if I have to get surgery, what if my snowboarding season is over, what if…? I spent so much time worrying I even woke myself out of my sleep early Tuesday and laid in bed for hours in the middle of the night. Luckily, that worry was all wasted time and energy. After my doctor’s appointment, I learned that I had a very common injury – runner’s knee. I needed to back off training, increase icing, ibuprofen as needed, add some physical therapy exercises and strengthen my quads and glutes.  Worrying is simply a lack of imagination. I know you can do better things with your time and energy and I share six productive items in this podcast. Worrying is simply a habit and habits can be changed. Instead, spend your time focusing on what you do want, instead of what you don’t. To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN  

 Releasing Insecurity and Embracing Self Confidence | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:21:31

Episode #109 Delia Perry joins me to share her story of releasing insecurity and embracing self confidence. Teenage and college years can be difficult for many, including Delia. She shares how she overcame low self esteem and insecurities from playing sports and having a tough coach in college to shedding light on this topic for younger girls to embrace their own self confidence. We all have stories we believe. Delia believed she wasn’t good enough, not skinny enough, simply not enough. By replaying these stories over and over, she started to believe them. What’s important to note is that the stories we create, are just that – stories. If they’re not serving you, it’s vital to witness and accept that and learn to re-write your story.  Delia shares how she was able to own her responsibility and the steps she took to begin believing her own worth and value. She had two choices: stay stuck and damaged or move past and become more? What I love most about her story is that she found the silver lining. From her experience of low self esteem and now having a teenage daughter of her own, she embraced this and is now inspiring other women. She’s a voice to help others through it.  Delia shared her self confidence fundamentals: finding value in who you really are; recognize unhealthy space; being self aware; and being mindful of language.  Finally, in a world where you can be anything, be kind. To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN

 Your Why Must Be Greater Than Any Excuse | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:07:25

Episode #108 This week I’m sharing with you my current mantra: Your why MUST be greater than any excuse. Unless you want to live in mediocrity, you’ve likely set some goals and desired outcomes for yourself. Without a strong enough why, excuses will creep in and eventually win, keeping you from achieving your goals. For example, you want to get healthier, or make more money, or travel or be in a relationship. Cool. But, WHY? I share a three-part strategy with all of my coaching clients ensuring that they have strong why’s in place. Once you’ve truly outlined your why’s and they’re clear, even when the excuses creep in – because they will, your why’s become your motivation and will help you push past your lame excuses.  For example, if your why to get healthier includes feeling more energy, increasing confidence, be able to fit into that dress you haven’t worn in years, be more social, feel sexy, want to look in the mirror, etc. these reasons will motivate you to go after the what. Even if it’s raining, or snowing, or a Monday or a Friday, or you just plain don’t feel like it, you will have such a strong desire to reach your goal, these BS excuses don’t stand a chance! To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN  

 From a Breakdown to a Breakthrough | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:19:25

Episode #107 Claire Brown joins me to share her story of overcoming a breakdown to a breakthrough. Claire shares her personal story after experiencing a heartbreak from ending a relationship. From this experience, she first had a breakdown and then she experienced a transformative breakthrough. We’ve all experienced rough times in our life. What we choose to do with that will help us grow or keep us in a victim mentality. The silver lining of her heartbreak is when she realized she had a need for more powerful women in her tribe. The key to having a strong mindset in anything is to know that life is happening FOR you, not TO you. From her need of more powerful women, Claire has created a community of 6,000 + strong. At times, women can seem distant, jealous, insecure or just plain bitchy, but none of that is allowed under Claire! Her motto: complaining is a garbage magnet. Growth for each of us occurs when we have the courage to get out of our comfort zone. Like anything, it takes practice. In Claire’s terms, comfort screams mediocrity, and you are not here to be average! If you want to push forward it’s time to be bold and let go of any limiting beliefs. My favorite of all when up against a challenge or fear sets in, you have to ask yourself this, “What is the worst case scenario?” If you are honest with yourself, the worst case scenario in going after your dreams or pursuing new ventures isn’t so bad after all. Finally, what you focus on expands. It’s time to get serious about what you are allowing in your life. It may even be time to eliminate persons, habits, distractions, and especially negative thoughts. Know this, you’re capable of so much more than you can imagine.  To listen in to the full episode, click below. TUNE IN


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