I've Got Your Back

Today's guest is New York Times Best-Selling author and co-founder of Whole30, Dallas Hartwig. Dallas is so thoughtful and articulate with his words which is why it was such a pleasure to to have covered a huge array of topics, including social media and comparison, and how comparison isn’t always a bad thing, the science of sociogenomics and how our friendships can keep us healthy or make us sick, the benefits and challenges of modern friendships, and this epidemic of loneliness we’re seeing in the western world, and what we can do about it.

When it comes to friendshsips you can have toxic friendships, you can have average or basic friendships, or you can have friendships of the soul! And the foundation of soul friendships is gratitude!

If you feel stuck in your job, unhappy with your work, or unclear about the next move in your career, I have something important to tell you... Do not try to go at the problem of feeling stuck alone. This is a perfect example of a challenge in life that is so directly related to your network, friends and community.

When it comes to friendship and making friends you have to know your worth. There’s knowledge, insight and experiences that you have that could literally alter the course of someone’s life for the better. There’s encouragement that you could give to someone on their path to their goals that would be the difference between them making their dreams happen or not.

When I hear people say “I’m having a hard time meeting people or making new friends,” one of the first questions I ask them is…. “Well, how many people have you introduced recently?” And I usually get a puzzled look like, “What the heck are you talking about?” First off, let’s get clear that the best way to meet people is to introduce people!

There’s this old saying that “hurt people, hurt people.” When someone's in a really, really tough place in their own life it makes it incredibly difficult for them to show up for you as a friend. But sometimes their hurt goes even further than just a few isolated incidents and you can find yourself in a situation where your friend is regularly taking our their hurt on you. They regularly put you down or criticize your decisions, or talk about you behind your back all with the intention of doing you harm. If you can relate to this you might be in a toxic friendship with someone. And it could be time for that friend to go.

What do you do when you start to notice that you and a friend are growing apart? That your interests and maybe even values are starting to change? And that even if you care about them you might be getting to place where you just aren’t enjoying their company as much as you one did?

Being amazing better-than-best-friends with your significant other is so beautiful and should be the goal that every couple strives for.... But not at the expense of other best friends outside of your partner. The stronger your overall friendships are, the stronger your relationship is going to be.

This might sound like a super basic question, but why do we need friends? The answer seems obvious, but it’s worth exploring together! For so much of human history friendship was about survival. No one, no matter how strong or independent they were, could live life alone. Today, most of us aren’t reliant on friends for daily survival. Our basic needs can be met through the efforts of a lot of people who we aren’t directly connected to. We still need people to grow food for us and keep the lights on, but these people aren’t individuals who we have a direct relationship with.

You know what one of the worst feelings in the world is? It’s that moment that a friendship starts sucking. That moment when a friendship, which might have been awesome at some point, starts feeling super HEAVY. What do you do when you’ve hit that moment?

I don’t want you waking up on your deathbed one day looking back and feeling like you didn’t make time for the friends who mattered. If you’re too busy for your friends use this video as a reminder and wake up call to prioritize what truly matters. And if you feel like you are too busy because you don’t have the right friends, friends that you vibe with, make the commitment to start investing in better quality people. Ones who are truly deserving of your time.

When you were a kid things were simple. You would go up to someone and ask them, “Do you want play?” As an adult things can get a little more complicated. But we need to learn how to make friendships from scratch, now more than ever, because the truth is times have changes.

The 5 to 1 Ration by Dhru Purohit

Appreciating Your Friends by Dhru Purohit

Compassion by Dhru Purohit