Better Sex

Natalie Frasca Surmeli is here today to talk about stepping into your feminine wild and what it means. This episode talks of awakening feminine desire and pleasure by slowing down and getting familiar with your own body. Natalie shares her insight of pleasure practices, practicing a new way of being and why it matters.Natalie’s Story – what did she unlock?Natalie shares the story of her journey that brought her into this path of discovery. Being a mom of 3 at a brink of divorce, overwhelmed and falling into depression, she sought out her therapist’s advice to slow down. The scientist in her rattled between the ideas of the universe guiding her and a lack of proof. When she gave in to the idea she realized that her presence, her actions and what she puts out into the world matters.She came to a realization that doing more and working harder is not the answer to a fulfilled life. Natalie works with women in teaching pleasure practices to help them slow down and reconnect with their desires, which ultimately leads to a better sex life and intimacy.Reconnecting with your body – Gender differenceWhen it comes to exploring self it doesn’t matter where on the gender spectrum you are or who your partner is. Natalie gives yoga, meditation and movement practices as examples to get in touch with your desires. It’s important to be intimate with your body and self before sharing it with your partner.Advice that drove her away from divorceNatalie points out advice from her father and later from therapy that drove her away from divorce. To obtain different results you have to start doing things differently. She says it’s a commitment, a process that takes time. It’s intentional work put forth by both partners to grow together. Natalie also talks about introspection. She points out that it’s your partner’s greatest pleasure to please. It’s less of a responsibility and more of a desire and a learning curve to discover what you like.Pleasure PracticesNatalie gives out a few please practices to implement in getting to know yourself. To explore your body in a sensual way, to discover new areas of your body, she suggests self-oil massage, dance practice with closed eyes and mirror staring in the morning. There’s a number of things we are not taught about our own body and pleasure and it’s time that we explore it. Desire can be accessed in all moments of our life. Awareness practices in which we think about things that make us feel good. Natalie describes these things as the most simple and mundane activities we perform just for the sake of our pleasure. She suggests writing down 3 big to-do things for the day and something else that gives you pleasure. For Natalie, it’s taking a walk in the woods. Make a conscious effort to recognize the simple pleasures of your day and gradually transfer it to sexuality.What ifsWomen who want to make a change, Natalie says, they’ve to make a choice. A choice to take out time from their busy life, reach out and make a commitment. For all the time spent in taking care of everyone around, it’s time to regain that energy for yourself.Benefits of non-sexual pleasureNatalie emphasizes non-sexual pleasure with self and a partner. Natalie calls to embrace the human being’s desire to be seen and to surrender. The greatest intimacy with a partner or with yourself can be built by exploring your bodies.Feminine and Masculine energyNatalie describes feminine energy as desire, surrender, flow and creation. Feminine energy calls to slow down while masculine energy strives to move forward and achieve. A balance is needed to be formed between the two for an individual to embrace it to the fullest. It’s the same for all genders.How to have a conversation about sexuality with kids?Natalie offers her insight on how to have conversations with kids about sexuality by giving an...

In this episode we see how communication can affect a person’s sexuality and intimacy and how we can work towards that with our partner.Communication, vulnerability and how to have conversations with our partnersKristen correlates communication with vulnerability because we often don’t talk about sex, it makes us uncomfortable. Her book starts with communication, vulnerability and normalizing the two. It’s overwhelming to read hundreds of pages of a book to be aware of a single topic. Kristen says she wanted some cut to the chase, something practical to read and to apply it in real life. So, she added exercises at the end of every chapter that includes a lot of conversation starters for couples.There are several variables that come into play. Our upbringing has a huge impact on how we communicate in our relations. The way families communicate with each other reflects in how they communicate in their relationships. It’s about acknowledging that.Problems with ineffective communication and what’s the answer?Kristen describes defensiveness and avoidance as the biggest pitfalls people have with communication. We’re so engrossed in defending ourselves that we forget to listen. We also avoid difficult conversations especially about sex because it makes us uncomfortable but Kristen urges us to be uncomfortable. She emphasizes that it’s better to be uncomfortable than to avoid the conversation.How does vulnerability play a role in communication?Vulnerability isn’t necessarily shown in the matters of sex, even sharing our emotions could be vulnerable. Kristen explains it by sharing a heart-warming example from her personal life. When we share our emotions, and they aren’t reciprocated or validated immediately, it makes us feel exposed and thus leaving us vulnerable. But as the conversation goes, Kristen poses a question of whether it’s better to have a conversation rather than keep assuming that someone loves you. She says, “There’s validation in acknowledging it”.What do you think prevents couples from being vulnerable?Kristen believes fear of judgement from your partner and presuming a partner’s reaction keeps us from opening up. We rather let the problems pile up than have a conversation that leaves us with shame and guilt. But If you want to do something differently, give them the opportunity to surprise you, to say something differently even though you know what they’re going to say. Kristen talks about how important it is to “just listen” and she emphasizes that you don’t have to get judgmental or commit to something but just express gratitude for sharing and then revisit it later. It makes the partner feel safe to have an open and honest conversation with you.Exercises for couples around these ideas:Kristen suggests practicing “Pancake talk”. It involves processing an experience and talking about it at a later time in a neutral territory. It gives you an opportunity to not be reactive and get away from high intensity emotions. She refers to ‘four horsemen of John Gottman’ while talking about being mindful with your responses and listening without getting defensive. She suggests repeating it back just like in ‘Imago therapy’ and mirroring exercises which compels you to slow down and listen to what the other person is saying.She also talks about risky conversations about a kink or a fetish or wanting to talk about being polyamory doesn’t have to be difficult. Your partner might understand what you’re communicating with them and acknowledge that but it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re agreeing with you. Kristen explains that with an example, you can be mad at your partner about something and have consensual sex and still not forgive them. Kristen encourages people to look at their childhood and connect the dots with who they are now. It can be done by questioning how you got your sex...

Lynne E Sheridan, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist after being an international transformational trainer for 27 years is here today to talk about Joyful Monogamy from her book, “​The Birds and Bees of Joyful Monogamy: Nine Secrets to Hot Partnering”. She dives into the topics of monogamy as a basic nature, what leads us to choose monogamy, advantages of a monogamous relationship, and how to keep it alive over time. Definition and what monogamy meansLynne defines a monogamous relationship as ‘a mutual endeverance’ of a couple that stems from an urge for fathering and mothering a child and to have a partnership. A father’s need to know that the child is their own and a mother’s need to have a partner who supports them throughout, historically has driven people to choose monogamy. Lynne talks about the romanticizing of monogamy in Hollywood. She declares that Hollywood represents a relationship to be easy and it’s merely a fantasy to think that’s how a monogamous relationship is in reality. This representation encourages couples to go unprepared with the expectation of it to be a natural process. Monogamy as our inherent nature While answering questions about our inherent nature of being monogamous or open, Lynne says we are intrinsically pulled both ways. Our personality, formed from several factors of our childhood experiences that draw our unconscious beliefs, leads us to make choices. As we repeatedly make the same choices, they form a pattern. We repeat negative patterns rooted in our unconscious beliefs that we don’t recognize until we see the result. Lynne talks about how these patterns result in whether we choose or not choose monogamy by sharing a personal example. Lynn states that monogamy itself is not the problem but our relation with it is. We have to make an authentic choice that isn’t coming from an old pattern but from a clear conscience. Gifts and struggles of Monogamy The goal here is not to solve all the problems in a relationship, it is to communicate them. She says that it’s about sharing your troubles and healing each other’s wounds constantly. When a person is willing to work through what troubles you or them and is still there to listen to it over and over again, that is the gift that monogamy brings-to put in the effort. As Lynn puts it, “it’s about transference and counter transference”. She talks about intimacy as being totally transparent, to be our authentic selves all the time. More than just sex, intimacy is to constantly catch yourself and acknowledge when you are being someone else. Lynn poses a question on how one can be in an intimate relationship when we don’t let ourselves be seen. It’s a continuous process where we repair and move forward and get better each time. How to keep a thriving, passionate sex life alive Talking about keeping your sex life alive in monogamy, Lynn quotes Esther Perel, “We have this conflicting desire with mystery and adventure and security”. She says it’s about balancing between both monogamy and wanting more adventure. It’s also passion that drives sex. To ignite that passion we have to be willing to open up to risks, adventures and keeping the mystery alive. She presses the need for sensuality without orgasm or penetration. While out of habit we look for a quick release, Lynn suggests reinventing sensuality by blindfolds, exploring each other’s bodies without an orgasm or a quick fix. She emphasizes prolonged pleasure that requires time and space and the freedom to pick a tone of the encounter. She gives a number of exciting ideas to keep the fire burning such as role-play, dress up, picking each other up at a bar and titillating. Dating yourselfAs important as it is to keep the fire burning in a monogamous relationship, it’s also of great importance to rekindle the fire within yourself. Lynn talks about “dating herself” by...

Emma explains what perinatal mental health is and includes thinking about pregnant, becoming pregnant and the intersection of this with your sex life. When sex becomes about having a baby, Emma points out that it can become difficult to connect with your partner. Redefining sex is the focus of her conversations with couples. You’re Expecting; Now What? Once pregnant, other issues creep up in terms of body and hormone changes that may affect your sex life. Emma suggests connecting with your partner by answering the question ‘what is sex to you?’ In the case of not falling pregnant, Emma finds that couples may disagree or resent each other on the way forward which can lead to them becoming disconnected and thus affecting their sex lives. In the case of actually having a child, being flexible is key to a successful sex life and keeping communication open, is part of that in a big way. How to Handle Problems Emma discusses statistics of traumatic events around pregnancy and divorce but mentions that there is also a big impact on couples sex lives. Sitting down with your partner and redefining sex so that you and your partner can consciously work on your sex life together is crucial to its survival. She also recommends joining a support group. This can normalize the experience for you and highlight that it can be overcome. Links and Resources http://www.esacounseling.com https://www.postpartum.net/ Background Emma is a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (#119249) in Davis, California under the supervision of Karina Parker Knight LMFT (#48111). ​ Emma is a sex and perinatal therapist as well as a couples and individual therapist that uses emotion-focused therapy (EFT) with influences from attachment and family system theories. ​She was drawn to and became interested in sex therapy in graduate school when she had the opportunity to work under Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, and felt passionate about deepening her expertise in the field of sexual intimacy and sexual identities. After taking courses through the Northwest Institute on Intimacy (NWIOI) she is now a Certified Integrated Intimacy Professional. She did not enter the world of perinatal mental health until she experienced my own late-term pregnancy loss which opened her up to the lack of help available to women and couples struggling with this type of trauma. More info:Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/Better Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/162-perinatal-mental-health-sex-emma-shandy-anway

After having gone through menopause and being surprised by the event, Michelle discusses her journey to finding out more about it and how to make it easier for other women. She shares her experience after taking the pill, then finding out that she had a mass in her uterus thus leading her to undergo an Endometrial Biopsy. Michelle was unhappy with her body and realized that other women were probably going through the same horrific experience. Common Problems in Menopause She discusses how disruptive menopause can be especially since we are not prepared like we are for other age milestones in our lives. From her experience, externally women report weight gain and on internal issues women struggle with their ability to make decisions and encounter an identity crisis. Michelle notes that doctors don’t know enough to help patients and this can leave women in a worse position. She also discusses loss of libido that comes up as a very common symptom of menopause and bleeding into our relationships. Michelle explains vaginal atrophy and urethral atrophy that can come with menopause. The Four Pillars of Thriving in Menopause The key to understanding menopause is to understand hormones. Dr. Gordon discusses 4 pillars which include science, supporting ourselves with diet, movement and the brain. In terms of dealing with menopause, Michelle says there is no single answer for every woman. She encourages reflection and reinvention during our menopause journeys as each one is unique. Links and Resources http://www.menopausemovement.com https://www.drmichellegordon.com/ Background Dr Gordon is a Board-Certified General Surgeon and founder of Gordon Surgical Group, a multi-specialty group practice in 2005. GSG serves the lower Hudson Valley of New York. She is also the author of Managing Menopause which you can find on her website. More info:Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/Better Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/161-menopause-dr-michelle-gordon

Michael Castleman is a journalist that has been writing specifically about sexuality since 2005. He is also the author of Sizzling Sex across the Lifespan, covering the good bad and ugly bits about the subject. His book contains 25 actual medical studies and is based on facts.Common Sexual IssuesPoor ejaculatory control is one of his best-selling subjects and you can find his e-book ‘ The Cure for Premature Ejaculation’ on his website. He discusses how differently men and women think about sex and provides advice for men to help improve the statistic that only 20% of women reach orgasm.We learn that desire difference is also a main difference with couples which is not often reported. Michael talks about sexual pain and the high number of women that suffer with it even to the extent of not knowing the medical term for it and accepting it as ‘normal.’If you are experiencing tension or stress around desire discrepancy, check out my free webinar – How to help your partner want more sex without making them feel pressure or obligation at https://www.intimacywithease.com/trainingThe Effects of PornMichael refers to masturbation and how kids are deterred from this behavior instead of being taught to understand it and enjoy it into adulthood. He mentions statistics that reveal 25% of the porn audience is female and despite popular belief, porn does not increase incidence of rape or disrespect of women, while teens have become more sexually responsible since pornography on the internet.Michael agrees that porn results in masturbation and sexual miseducation. Debunking myths, he affirms that porn does not affect men’s ability to become aroused. He mentions the refractory period and shares how this should be understood in order to manage our bodies. He discusses arousal and how it changes across one’s lifetime.Links and Resourceshttp://www.greatsexguidance.comBackgroundMichael Castleman is a journalist and sex counselor. Writing since 1974, he is the world’s most popular sex writer, covering sexuality, sex research, and sex therapy, helping people everywhere enjoy great sex.More info:Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/Better Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/160-sizzling-sex-across-the-lifespan-michael-castleman

On this episode we hear from DD Haeg who tells about the 5 Erotic Blueprints. She explains that this is a map/ language for how to turn each other on. They consist of the following:Energetics : Like to be teased, enjoy anticipation and prefer lighter touch. A sense of spaciousness appeals to them.Sensual: These blueprints indulge in all their senses be engaged. Ambience and candles work for them, and they love to be completely engaged.Sexuals: Respond to very direct sexual gestures, love nudity and quickies!Kinky: These types respond to things that are taboo and will find a power dynamic often at play.Shape Shifters: love everything!DD mentions that sexuals and energetics are the most difficult pairing one could find.Stacking Erotic BlueprintsPeople have one main blueprint and can have elements of the others- this is called a stack.If this is new to you, DD suggests that you take her quiz to help you figure our which blueprint is your main blueprint and then understand your stack.Learning about your stack helps understand the sequence that works for you and this can really help unlock different things you may enjoy. DD discusses the shadow side of these blueprints and what the purpose of knowing your blueprint is. Ultimately this creates a deeper connection between couples.What works for each blueprint:Energetics love eye gazing and anticipation. A text message is an example of this.Sexuals love nudity so a selfie might help.Sensuals would love an essential oil bath.Kinky is very dependent on the partner you have!Shapeshifter would love all these things.Links and ResourcesFind out more about her Pleasure code program on her website: https://ddhaeg.com/For my free webinar, How to Help Your Partner Want More Sex WITHOUT making them feel pressure or obligation, go here: https://www.intimacywithease.com/trainingBackgroundDD Haeg is an international retreat leader, embodiment educator and certified erotic blueprint coach. She’s the founder of The Pleasure Code,™ empowering retreats and online programs that tap into the principles of permission, pleasure and play to help women shift out of overwhelm and into more juiciness and joy.Over the last two decades, DD has travelled to 35 countries, taught hundreds of yoga and meditation classes, and taken more than 1000 hours of pleasure-focused training including Orgasmic Meditation, tantra, massage therapy, and more. She holds a master’s degree in intercultural studies and currently lives in Denver with her two kiddos.More info:Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/Better Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/159-erotic-blueprints-dd-haeg

On this episode, we learn how to maximize connection and pleasure if you are affected by physical barriers. Kate Wolovsky shares her story being affected with MS and still having a happy sex life despite this condition.Disability Affects More Than Your Physical BodyKate shares that having a disabled body early on in life led to a lot of shame. She also shares her husband’s story as a completely disabled person, expanding on how disability extends from physical to emotional as well.She refers to Dr Kinsey’s approach to research and how people react from physical trauma. We don’t need to ask about a traumatic event to know what the impact of it is. Indicators can be found in other areas of peoples lives through their emotions, sex lives, and interactions – according to her.She sheds light on the difficulties disabled people have with even their medical professionals not being equipped to talk to them or understand them as normal people, which is something she is working on through her surveys.Learning to Talk to Your ProvidersKate mentions that people struggling with disabilities are unsure of what they can ask and that’s where she plays a key role in helping people. Kate lightheartedly advocates that disabled people are sexy and uses the word “adumbptions” to describe dumb assumptions made about disabled people.Kate strongly encourages more meaningful conversations with disabled people pointing out that conversations with disabled people can be broached the same way as able-bodied people. She discusses where the blocks are and how she and her husband try to alleviate these issues. Their surveys are an example of this. She suggests that you participate in their survey which is used to gather information to help you educate your providers.What’s the same for everyoneConsent is important for everyone. Innovation in all aspects of your life. She mentions furniture that works for you or using zoom to keep your relationship alive. In addition to this, she mentions not allowing social media to dictate what YOUR body should look like. “Whatever your body does, its OK”Free WebinarIf you’re interested in our on-going free webinar – How to help your partner want more sex without making them feel pressured or obligated – you can sign up here.BackgroundKate is a psychotherapist, sex therapist, clinical researcher, speaker, writer, and advocate, specializing in disability, sexuality, and traumatic stress. Kate sheds light into these marginalized realities, and exposes the gaps in knowledge, training, and professional care that “other” or exclude people from accessing full enjoyment of their life.Kate is a Clinical Research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute Trauma Stress Research Consortium at Indiana University, where Kate is the co-author of a new, international, inclusive survey study, Body Mind, & COVID-19 that offers people of all backgrounds an opportunity to share how the COVID-19 pandemic has affected all aspects of their life (including sexual pleasure and sexual health) and what is important to them as we all search for answers about how to stay connected while physically isolated.Since the beginning of the pandemic, Kate is increasingly in demand as a subject-matter expert on disability, chronic illness, sexuality, and traumatic stress with an embodied experience of navigating all sides of the healthcare system, academia, and both in person and online. Kate offers professional consultation, customized training, and advocates for nurturing connection and evolving opportunities for healthcare providers and the communities they serve.Links and Resourceshttps://www.disabledduo.com/More info:Book and New Course –

Liberation guide KaRonna Lynn, deals with body image obstacles. Liberation to KaRonna is about following what is liberating to you and not necessarily what society has defined as liberating. Most of her work is around body image but it is not confined to this.Three Pronged Approach to Body Image LiberationKaRonna discusses her three-pronged approach which includes, the physical body, our mental space and the culture we grew up in. Her work entails helping people unpack these things to understand her clients better. She emphasizes that this is a personal journey for each person and therefore each client needs to answer the question “How do you want this to change?”Fat?KaRonna Lynn shares her thoughts around people with body image concerns related to fat. She feels that people can be healthy at every size and that fat is purely a descriptor, especially since she has been through many diets and her own personal journey with weight. She rejects the idea that being healthy means being in a small, thin body.When approached by clients that struggle with weight loss and have a goal to lose weight in order to enjoy their sex lives, KaRonna reveals the underlying message within her clients being “I need to change myself to be accepted. ” According to her, this bleeds into other areas of your life, and she finds that people are constantly trying to make others happy with the results not lasting forever. The secret to success is accepting yourself and allowing others to accept you as you are too.Body Issues In Existing RelationshipsStruggling with body image in an existing relationship can steer a relationship into difficulty as this can be a sensitive subject. KaRonna advises us to tackle this openly with our partners and work on how to move our sex lives into a new place and work with what our new bodies look like as opposed to changing our bodies. Physical attraction is only a piece of attraction and there are other areas we can focus our attraction to.What it feels like to be LiberatedKaRonna explains how this may feel and what to expect when you experience liberation. If you have been conscious of your dress size, your eating habits, other peoples thoughts about your weight and looks, KaRonna explains that liberation would be when those thoughts no longer exist. Your automatic reactions to other people stop revolving around YOUR appearance or your body.BackgroundKaRonna is a Liberation Guide. With intuitive gifts, years of untangling herself from toxic beliefs, and a clinically focused Masters of Social Work, KaRonna connects the dots between the physical (our bodies), the mental (our thoughts), and the social (our systems & cultures) at the core of body image struggles, in order to help people find deep personal liberation & body confidence.Links and Resourceshttps://karonnalynn.com/More info:Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/Webinar:How to Make Sex Easy Without Making It Feel Like an Obligation – http://intimacywithease.com/trainingBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/157-body-image-liberation-karonna-lynn

On this episode, we hear about Leanne Kabat’s personal journey. Faced with an illness and a young family, she found clarity and direction on how to choose to get out of chaos or conflict. She discusses what she calls the five seasons, what they mean and how to get to the “Summer” that we all love and need.Dealing with IssuesShe shares Spring cleaning methods that different people prefer in order to resolve difficult situations. Glossing things over is not an option, as the reference of Spring cleaning implies. She emphasizes getting dirty, uncovering painful or hidden issues in your relationship and dealing with it.Her BookLeanne talks about her book and how she initially thought it was going to be about the other person in her relationships but finding that its actually about yourself. She also shares her discovery about multiple layers to intimacy as opposed to a blanket idea. It also covers levels of awareness in your relationship. Her book delves into unpacking all your issues and difficult moments to connect and instead of holding hurt, growing your relationship from it.Categories of IntimacyLeanne discusses these 7 categories in more detail in her book. The point of these categories is for people to try and connect on as many levels as possible.– Emotional– Spiritual- which can be anything you connect with on a deeper level eg religion, nature, etc.– Physical- is separated from sexual as Leanne highlights that it can be used outside of foreplay and not requiring a sexual act back. It can be used to communicate love and affection apart from sex– Intellectual– Financial– Experiential- She explains the experiential category as the many areas you and your partner have common threads that enhance connection.– SexualBackgroundLeanne Kabat is an international speaker and author of The 5 Seasons of Connection collection. Her books take us right into those crucial minute-by-minute interactions where we either draw closer together or push further apart. When we understand our seasons, we can transform our relationships from conflicted to connected by confidently moving out of the cold, dark, stormyWinters towards love, happiness, and sunny Summer days. Her first book customizes this system for parents, her second book helps entrepreneurs who battle with doubt, anxiety, mental blocks and imposter syndrome, and her third book is for couples. The 5 Seasons of Connection to Your Love Partner goes into the most profound adult relationship we have, guiding couples out of Winter and towards their deepest love and truest connection.Leanne developed the 5 Seasons framework as a result of a medical diagnosis in 2006 that gave her five years to live, challenging her to truly live a life she loved. Fourteen years later, she’s happily raising three teens and excited to visit her 50th country when it’s safe to do so.Links and Resourceshttp://www.5SeasonsLife.comhttp://www.5SeasonsLife.com/booksLinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/leannekabat/More info:Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/Webinar:How to Make Sex Easy Without Making It Feel Like an Obligation – http://intimacywithease.com/trainingBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmerman

On this episode, you will hear from Richelle Fribotta. Richelle discusses her work teaching people with developmental and intellectual disabilities about sex. While there are many misconceptions around whether people with DD are even able to understand or participate in sex, Richelle clears up these myths. Compared to years ago, we learn that there is more activity around sexual education for DD people. Richelle works anywhere that has a need but her main visits currently are institutions. Advice for Parents For any parent trying to educate their kids about sex whether they suffer with DD or not, it can be a difficult journey. She approaches DD kids in a similar way to non DD kids, advising parents or caregivers to firstly open up and be approachable before trying to find a curriculum to share with their kids. Misconceptions With many misconceptions out there, Richelle mentions just a few she comes across. Her work has led her to people who think sex ed cannot be taught to DD people and that people with an IQ under 70 are not sexual. Some she says, fear that broaching the topic would lead to people with DD looking to explore it in inappropriate ways. Outcomes Richelle points out her firm message around consent, age difference and sex with non humans, re-iterating that these are her hard lines and that she communicates this very clearly to her students. She also focuses on Increasing communication skills and how to say no, as well as prevention. For people that want to deliver sexual information to people with DD, she equips them with teaching methods. What to leave out According to Richelle, reading her students developmental age versus chronological age determines a lot of her content. Teaching where students are and reading them is a major part of her method. Richelle does not use lecture format and infuses pleasure into her lessons. There is no set prioritization in the order or learning as she deals with her students wherever they are. Background Richelle has been a professional community-based Sexuality Educator since 1992 when she was employed at Planned Parenthood (Dayton, Ohio). First certified as a Sexuality Educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educator Counselors and Therapists in 1996, she is also a CSE Supervisor since its inception in 2014. She teaches a multitude of subjects that are human sexuality to many populations and in various venues: 4th – 12th graders, higher education institutions, public, private and non-profit organizations, faith communities, alcohol and drug rehabilitation facilities, jails…anywhere she is invited. When training colleagues and those working in human services, she emphasizes that sexuality education should be taught from a medically accurately and research-informed, compassionate, person-centered lens with methods that are developmentally relevant, culturally inclusive while grounded in social justice praxis and a code of ethics. She never forgets that teaching also means learning. Richelle is most proud of her focus on individuals with divergent learning styles. She has authored curricula, trained staff, provided group education to parents, caregivers and self-advocates, and consultation services for folks in the Intellectual -Developmental Disabilities, Learning Disabilities, Autism Spectrum, and Traumatic Brain Injury communities. Most notably in 1997, she established a full-service sexuality education program for an Ohio County Board of DD. Richelle works with State of Ohio DODD, Council of Governments (COGs), Superintendents, and other invested professionals to offer multiple on-going education services throughout Ohio. Her most current work is with self-advocates in Oklahoma and training developmental center staff in Ohio. Both projects endeavor to establish local “sexperts” who co-author and train about quality of life and equity-based topics...

GS found his path after his own painful journey in his personal life and used this to create his book and help others. He references strong women and clarifies that these are women that have a clear understanding of their own worth. Reflecting on the evolution of men and women, GS highlights historically, the role of men as dominators and leaders until women became more capable and assertive. His book helps men understand how to adapt to this without losing themselves or diminishing their partners strength. Masculine Leadership We learn what masculine and feminine energy are and lean into what masculine leadership is. It includes taking responsibility and steering a relationship into a more structured state so that resolution can be reached. Sexual Leadership GS believes that while many men wait for their female partners to be in the mood for sex, it is the man’s responsibility to lead her to it. He talks about creating the container that allows her to open up her sexuality. He names the elements that men need to work on. These are timing, environment (temperature, lighting, aesthetic factors), heart connection, being present, praise, edginess, and attunement. Blueprint A man in his masculine energy is grounded, providing direction and structure and creating safety. He gives men tips on how to transition their partners to a body/heart space. GS explains that women love light and dark energy and shares what each of these mean. Leading GS believes that almost all men can tap into their masculine energy. He recommends becoming grounded and experimenting with your partner in a conscious and respectful manner. Toxic Masculinity As opposed to the blueprint of healthy masculine energy, GS explains that alpha males usually don’t encompass the three elements mentioned in his earlier blueprint. The opposite of this is ‘the nice guy’ which compensates in other ways and again does not model the blueprint he mentions earlier therefore not being able to find their healthy masculine energy. Background GS Youngblood coaches men in relationships on how to live, love, and lead from their Masculine core. He specializes in “nice guys” who are with strong women. His teachings combine deep embodiment work with the framework of the Masculine blueprint from his book “The Masculine in Relationship”.In his past life, GS was a high tech executive in Sales and Marketing for 16 years, including founding and selling a company. The leadership practices of Silicon Valley, based on clarity and inspiration rather than control, are a major influence on the model of Masculine leadership he shares with his clients. Resources and Links Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gsyoungblood1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gsyoungbloodmir/ More info:Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/Webinar:How to Make Sex Easy Without Making It Feel Like an Obligation – http://intimacywithease.com/trainingBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source:

From early on in her career, Dr. Gina knew she wanted to help people with sex and relationships. Her work delved into the more uncommon areas such as discernment counseling, conscious uncoupling, and consensual non-monogamy.Her work today revolves around a diverse group of clients, which she calls expansive relationships. Dr. Gina explains expansive relationships as relationships between partners that want to explore and encompass more of themselves, people who want to “color outside of the lines.”Looking Deeper into Our StoriesGina deals with many stories and talks about how we all have stories. She notes that we need to look at our own actions and history in a healthier way and finds that this can bring us to realizations in our lives that help us better understand ourselves. Exploring our norms does not mean we need to scrap them but rather encourages us to better tailor them to our current relationship needs.IntimacyDr. Senarighi highlights that vulnerability and intimacy are not the same but that handling vulnerability with care can deepen intimacy in a relationship. She explains intimacy as a deep connection with people and explores the different kinds of intimacy around us.CommunicationShe explains that trust and openness go hand in hand and shares how we can cultivate that openness for ourselves. Dr Gina discusses her book and how important communication is in relationships. It is filled with tools and actionable steps for couples to use to strengthen their communication and deal with obstacles. She uncovers a few examples to give us some insight into what she means.A few key elements she unpacks that help communication are clarity of boundaries, having a clear and compassionate accountability process and trust and stability in relationshipsBackgroundDr. Gina Senarighi, PhD, CPC is an author, teacher, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach based in the U.S. She’s been supporting clean fights and dirty sex in happy healthy relationships since 2009. Gina has written several books and currently leads couples retreats and coaches clients all over the world to have deeper intimacy and more meaningful connection.Call for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.About GinaDr. Gina Senarighi, PhD, CPC is a couples’ therapist turned relationship coach, retreat leader, and author specializing in intimacy, authenticity, shame-resilience, and connected communication for diverse relationships.For over twelve years she has supported hundreds of clients creating fulfilling integrity-based relationships according to their own rules. In that time she’s developed a solid framework based in neuroscience, nonviolent communication, and positive psychology research that has transformed diverse relationships around the world.In 2020, she published her first book, Love More Fight Less, A Communication Workbook for Every Couple with Penguin Random House. She earned her Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy in 2010 from Saybrook University, her Bachelor’s degree in Education from the University of Wisconsin in 2002, and a Masters in Education with a minor in Human Sexuality from Indiana University in 2004. In 2019 she completed her PhD in Spiritual Studies and Pastoral Counseling.Gina was named Portland’s Best Life Coach in 2019 and has taught psychology courses, communication workshops, couples intimacy retreats, and guest lectured on alternative relationships and sex-positive therapy at universities across the US. Students love her no-nonsense “real talk” presentation style.Her podcast, Swoon has helped over 10,000 listeners build a more compassionate, creative, confident, and fulfilled society. Gina offers practical, proven skills to transform relationships in deeply meaningful ways.As a...

At age 56, Jane went back to finish her PhD and completed this at 62. She tells us this brought her into her own intellectually. She chose to focus on sexuality, as she found it to be the root of humanity’s problems. Her specialty is sexuality and aging. Her book, the Stonewall Generation, focuses on LGBTQ elders and the process required her to find people to interview. Her writing journey took her to the story of Stonewall “the birth of the modern day rights movement“ which stands today as a historical event for the gay community. Inclusivity Her goals include trying to combat ageism and the myth that LGBTQ is a young persons’ identity. With all this in mind, Dr Jane targeted people who are marginalized so that their stories could be told through her book. Dr. Fleishman’s aim is to experience pride events with more exciting sexual politics. With current upheaval in terms of racial injustice and other injustices, Jane believes that things will change to include more LGBTQ elders. Aging and Sex One of Dr. Jane’s concerns revolves around older adults’ cognitive decline and sexuality. The question she asks is “Do people have the ability and the right to have a sex positive future?“ This brings up ethical issues but Jane is passionate about helping the elderly and ensuring that even in old age, they can enjoy consensual sex. Background Jane Fleishman, PhD, MEd, MS, AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator, is an award-winning educator, writer, program developer and researcher with a keen perspective on the intersections of race, class, and sexuality, particularly for marginalized populations. She holds a PhD and MEd in Human Sexuality from the Widener University Center for Human Sexuality Studies. Jane is the Principal in her own consulting practice, Speaking of, LLC, specializing in program development, training, curriculum design, writing, and policy review related to human sexuality for older adults, parents, teenagers, young children, and members of the LGBTQ population. She hosts a regular podcast on topics related to sex in the second half of life at www.ourbetterhalf.net and recently completed a TEDx Talk entitled, “Is It OK for Grandma to Have Sex?” Her latest accomplishment is her book entitled, The Stonewall Generation: LGBTQ Elders on Sex, Activism, and Aging. Her curious nature has led her to research many topics related to sexuality, such as the associations between internalized homophobia, resilience, sexual communication, satisfaction in relationships, and sexual satisfaction in older adults’ same-sex relationships. Her work has helped organizations of different sizes develop tools to understand their organizational plights and dilemmas and implement changes into their work environment that align with their values, principles, and vision. Links and Resources http://www.janefleishman.com http://www.ourbetterhalf.net More info:Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/Webinar:How to Make Sex Easy Without Making It Feel Like an Obligation – http://intimacywithease.com/trainingBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source:

Kim joins me on this episode to discuss blocks to orgasm. Her aim is to work with the subconscious mind to transform women. What Blocks Orgasm? She delves into the root of the problem being control over women even at an intimate level and shares what these blocks actually look like. She touches on society’s reaction to kids unknowingly exploring their bodies and being shamed for their behavior as opposed to them being guided to understand when it’s appropriate. Other blocks include sexual trauma and religion which frowns upon individuals seeking physical pleasure. Our Minds Can Create Blocks Kim talks about the role our minds play when reacting to sex or orgasm. She mentions how our subconscious feeds our responses by recalling its very first sexual experience and the feelings it brought with it. This of course manifests in our daily lives and sexual encounters. Being aware of our personal stories around sex is key to understanding our blocks and how to fix them. This helps to distinguish between those who have blocks and those who just haven’t discovered how to reach orgasm yet. Rapid Transformational Therapy Kim tells us about a method called Rapid Transformational Therapy. The technique uses hypnosis, cognitive behavioral therapy and NLP, and it uncovers memories from the subconscious to help her clients. Dealing with the mind is crucial to helping clients as Kim emphasizes. What to do on your own Kim suggests once you are open to reaching and enjoying intimacy, that you spend time on your own figuring out what you like and what works for you sexually. If you are unsure of what an orgasm feels like, Kim suggests going with whatever makes you feel good. If you want to work on your obstacles on your own, Kim suggests that you confront your thoughts around sex and tuning into your mind in order to figure out what is attached to your obstacle. She shares affirmations we can use and techniques that work. She reveals that repetition is the key to unlocking your pleasure. Background Kim Akrigg is the host of Kim Akrigg The Podcast and an RTT practitioner who studied under Marissa Peer. Her work focuses around using your subconscious mind to unlock your orgasm! Resources and Links Website: http://kimakrigg.com IG : @kim.akrigg More info:Book and New Course – https://sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com/Sex Health Quiz – http://sexhealthquiz.com/Webinar:How to Make Sex Easy Without Making It Feel Like an Obligation – http://intimacywithease.com/trainingBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/151-blocks-to-orgasm-kim-akrigg