The ORIGINAL Sector 512 Podcast
Summary: Check out the monthly ramblings of the Sector 512 Productions crew as they pick a "topic of the week" and construct a "top 10" list and then rail upon each other for their obviously suspect choices. Most topics will stem from our collective love of the 80's and 90's. Please visit www.sector512productions.com and post your thoughts/ideas/threats!
Blobfish, Korean Penis Fish, Candiru, oh my! Those mysterious Sector 512 guys are back are dredging up all of god's best depravities for your listening pleasure. As anticipated, multiple lists are dedicated to the animals of the world with the biggest penises and it basically rolls down hill like a 12 inch log from there. Don't miss some absolutely repulsive items like duck rape, "traumatic insemination", corkscrew vaginas, bottle brush cocks, gelatinous flesh, copious slime production, willy-nilly sex changes, and the "Bo Jackson" of the animal kingdom. My god, our mothers would be ashamed and onto the pictures! Wildcard is to come up with a new animal mascot for the Minnesota Twins to replace that lame-ass plushy-wannabe TC the Bear. Apparently nothing says Minnesota like invasive species. Send in a list for the next episode to firstname.lastname@example.org and it will be the Top 10 Children's Books That Need to Be Written (examples include "Everybody Poops on Tammie's Two Mommies" or "Show Me on the Doll where the Wild Things Touched You") and the wild card is to pick your favorite existing children's book.
Eventually it had to happen via a radioactive mishap, genetic mutation, terrorism or just shit luck, but zombies are now everywhere and you will thank zombie Jesus that you listened to this podcast and are now well prepared. Join the hosts as they go through their picks of crucial items to have on hand to fend back the zombie hordes, or establish some sort of questionable hippie commune in a local Walmart. As a sneak peak, check out the pictures below of the ultimate zombie-squashing vehicle found by Daren, the Hydrema 910 Mine Clearing Vehicle. Wildcard was to pick the best zombie movie and we have special thanks to Dead Alive and Thankskilling! Send in a list to email@example.com for the big episode 50, Top 10 Animals and wildcard is pick a new animal mascot for the Minnesota Twins!
It's been a long decade of shit doing down, shit going up and awesome Sector 512 podcasts. The guys go through and pick their favorite things to happen in the past decade and go from sappy (my marriage? BLECH!!) to downright creepy (Somali Piracy) and Tom has a hard time remembering that 2010 is NOT included in this time range. That and EC is cell-phone using hypocrite, don't miss him getting called out on the show. Wildcard: Worst thing to happen in 2000-2009 (9/11? Oh year, we go there). Send in a list for the next episode to firstname.lastname@example.org and we are looking for the Top 10 Items to bring with you to the next Zombie Apocalypse and the wild card is to find the all-time best zombie movie!
Please god, bear with us on this one. We spent our collective creative load on the Top 10 Most Disgusting Foods podcast and are bunting for a pity hit on this one. Check out the Top 10 Things to bring on a time machine and surprising number of them have to do with not getting STD's in the future, weird. We also can't prevent ourselves from discussing the cult "hit", The Room with one of the worse acting performances (Tommy Wiseau) we have ever, ever seen.
The Sector 512 crew weighs in on the foods that turn their stomachs inside out and they range from the bizarre (placenta) to the rather pedestrian (jello?!!?). We also are able to dig up some nice photographic evidence of a few of the foods below for your visual (and regurgitory) enjoyment. Wild card is to come up with a new item for the McDonald's Dollar Menu.
The title pretty much says it all (if you haven't seen the pattern yet, I am ashamed of you) and with listening you will have your fair share of bums, semen, and blue balls. Wildcard: The Minnesota Twins are getting a new stadium and it has been decided they need new uniforms. Come up with a new uniform that pays respect to their history and MN history of mobsters, moonshine and Indian casinos. Hats are required, but sleeves are not.
Be a bartender and come up with your top 10 cocktails endorsed by a celebrity. For example, the Ted Danson is a flavorful mixture of Sam Adams, Just For Men hair dye, and Whoopi Goldberg's menstrual fluid. Served with a hot-dog straw. Wildcard: The Jonas Brothers have just renounced their whole religious "married to Jesus" thing, so come up with the title of their next album and a few key hits.
What is grosser than your typical Sector 512 crew member? Them trying to propose marriage through some sort of elaborate stage-death and then pop out of the coffin saying "MARRY ME!". That and the one with the bum kidnapping, that one was pretty cool too. Wild card was pick the next cartoon of your childhood to be made into a live-action movie. Pick the actors and their roles. Watch out Charles Schultz, this shit gets real.
Us Sector512'ians can't keep away from baseball so we decide to hit the history and trivia books to come up with the top 10 Baseball Players of all time that are famous not for their athletic prowess, but usually deviant behavior or murder. One dude pitched a no-hitter high on acid and another tried to light FIVE people on fire and cut them with a machete. Wildcard is simply to come up with your dream scenario for quitting your job. Usually you would think we would have ideas of grandeur, but it usually devolved to poo jokes and taking multiple innocent lives along with our own. Next week we have the Top 10 Ways to Propose Marriage along with a picking your favorite childhood cartoon to be made into a movie AND picking actors for the major roles.
The Sector 512 crew decides to "keep it real" and discuss some dream jobs. Unfortunately, the jobs we pick are likely illegal in more countries, morally reprehensible and basically sick. Wildcard this week simply rocks. Our task was to come up with three strange facts that have come to light during the prolonged professional baseball steroid use hearings. And we hit them out of the park. Learn some unknown facts behind Al Newman's genetic heritage and other shocking facts!
It doesn't get much more "meta" than this and we get some oddities including a puppy-sucking and puppy-launching cannons and of course, dildos. Wildcard is create a brand new board game and the entire crew shines on this one, including a few offensive variants of "Life" and others that are even tougher to explain. Stay tuned for the next episode of Top 10 Things Dream Jobs and wild card is come up with three strange facts that have come to light during the prolonged professional baseball steroid use hearings!
How we love the more esoteric topics and this is definitely one of them. We go from pedestrian of "three bananas" to the all encompassing "shit dollar" and a number of defunt and extinct beverages and snacks. Wildcard is create a new Minnesota Twins baseball fan sign or message for the jumbotron and poor Denny Hecker is the target of two brand new jumbotron games along the lines of the famous "Tires Plus" racing tire game. Email us your lists for the next two episodes to email@example.com Episode #40 - Top 10 Things to Replace Your Arms With and wild card of make a brand new board game! Episode #41 - Top 10 Things Dream Jobs and wild card is come up with three strange facts that have come to light during the prolonged professional baseball steroid use hearings.
The crew is back and joined by the technological marvel of video telephony so we can see the hurt look on EC's face from thousands of miles away. This week we have our Top 10 Comedy movies and the wild card of create a celebrity music album! We had to call "dominoe rally" a few times when the group felt that "Independence Day" was not a comedy movie (which is clearly false after seeing Bill Pullman and Harry Connick Junior's attempts at acting). Daren steals the spotlight with a Michael Phelps music album with new hits like "Snap, Crackle, Pot" and more! Stay tuned for next episode with our Top 10 things to buy for a $1 or less and wild card of a new Minnesota Twins fan sign or jumbotron message.
Who knew there were so many "World's Largest" thingies in Minnesota along with the sad reality that we are the birthplace of the Greyhound bus line? We learn a whole lot of stops you can't miss when you come visit Minnesota for the first time and see our our recommendations for Top 10 Minnesota Tourist Stops! The wild card finds us creating starting 5 for the Minnesota Timberwolves and can come from any place or time (Sorry Jesus, you are excluded). Email us your lists for the next two episodes to firstname.lastname@example.org Episode #38 - Top 10 Comedy Movies of All Time and wild card of make a Celebrity music album complete with style, song selection and album name. Episode #39 - Top 10 Things You Can Buy For a $1 or Less and wild card is come up with your Twins game sign or message for the jumbotron. And yes, Kunkel's mom is off limits.
To keep things gross, we are talking about the top 10 super powers that we would like to have right now. These range from pedestrian ability to fly or the more restrictive "sub-par flight" where you can only fly 5 mph and 4 feet above the ground or the ability to vomit up your internal organs when threatened. Wild card is create your own superhero or super-villain, complete with name, costume and potential love interest. Stay tuned next week for Top 10 Tourist Stops in Minnesota and come up with a new starting 5 for the Minnesota Timberwolves who can come from any place or time (sorry, Jesus is excluded)!