Being Well with Dr. Rick Hanson

Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin a new series of episodes dedicated to a simple question: Who am I? To explore this big question, they start by going into what creates our individual variation in personality and temperament, how we’re impacted by our genes and environment, the ups and downs of personality typing, and just how in control of our own nature we really are. Timestamps: 2:20: Where does personality come from? 5:25: Nature and nurture. 14:30: What can we really control? 19:45: Why we group people. 24:00 Personality typing. 31:00: Expanding the circle of your comfort 35:00: Stereotype threat. 38:30: The village in the mind. 40:00: Recap

It’s easy for our New Year's aspirations and goals to come wrapped in a package of self-criticism. To help fight that, Dr. Rick Hanson is joined by Dr. Tara Brach for this special episode. Rick and Tara explore the importance of self-caring how we can grow this critical resource inside ourselves, and why it’s not selfish to be on your own side. The Foundations of Well Being: https://thefoundationsofwellbeing.com/affiliate/38370 Timestamps: 3:00: The “sweet spot” of personal growth. 6:45: Why should we open to painful experiences? 10:15: A personal story of self-caring. 14:00: The “near enemies” of self-caring. 16:40: How can we feel the difference between authentic self-caring and imposter emotions? 19:00: Self-caring and wholeness of the self. 21:35: Self-caring without narcissism. 25:55: Facing our needs. 29:30: A practice of self-compassion. 38:35: Seeing through the eyes of another.

Today's episode focuses on getting the most out of your New Year's Resolutions! Timestamps: 0:45: Do you make resolutions? 2:30: A process for new resolutions. 4:00: Focused goal setting. 6:10: Good crowds out great. 7:10: Be aware of how setting resolutions makes you feel. 8:30: Pitfalls around resolutions. 12:05: Process vs. outcome. 13:20: Setting goals for love, work, and play. 15:20: The power of little numbers. 19:15: Sticking with resolutions. 21:30: Focusing on what you can control. 23:30: Means and ends. 27:15: Affective forecasting. 29:45: Big picture ends and actionable means. 33:15: Focusing on the present moment. 36:00: Removing negative influences.

Dr. Hanson and Forrest conclude their yearlong journey through the 12 strengths with a final episode dedicated to opening our hearts to all beings. 1:30: What does “widening the circle of us” mean? 5:00: The evolution of prejudice. 6:30: What are the benefits to us of widening the circle? 12:30: How can we tell if we’re being discriminatory? 18:30: What can we do to expand the circle of us? 27:10: Key takeaways from the last year. 37:15: Recap

In the second of our two episodes dedicated to Forgiveness, Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore the tender territory of forgiving yourself. Use code BEINGWELL10 to receive 10% off Dr. Rick Hanson's Foundations of Well Being Program here: bit.ly/2DUmSy6 Timestamps: 0:45: Why do some people struggle to forgive themselves? 2:30: Why it’s good to forgive yourself. 4:00: Taking maximum reasonable responsibility. 7:15: Feeling appropriate remorse. 11:05: Making amends. 15:20: Seeing the larger causes. 17:15: The balance between taking full responsibility and seeing larger causes. 20:40: Asking for forgiveness. 22:05: Offering forgiveness to yourself. 24:40: Recap

Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore one of the most important, and challenging, ways we can give to other people: Forgiveness. Use code BEINGWELL10 to receive 10% off Dr. Rick Hanson's Foundations of Well Being Program here: https://bit.ly/2DUmSy6 Timestamps: 0:50: What are the two kinds of forgiveness? 2:20: The challenges of forgiveness. 7:10: The real goal of disentangled forgiveness. 8:10: What needs to happen before we disentangle? 11:10: Creating a coherent internal narrative. 14:45: Using forgiveness as a balm to our wounds. 15:30: Suggestions for disentangling. 21:40: How can we know when it’s appropriate to extend a full pardon? 26:45: Remembrance and responsibility. 28:15: A story of full-pardon forgiveness. 31:50: Taking a wide view. 34:15: Recap

Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin the final strength, Generosity, with an episode dedicated to seeing the many ways we give every day more clearly. The Foundations of Well Being: thefoundationsofwellbeing.com/affiliate/38370 Timestamps: 1:00: What is “everyday giving?” 3:20: The evolution of generosity. 9:25: What generosity gives to us. 12:00: Feeling like a person of value. 15:30: Blocks to giving. 20:00: Compassion and equanimity. 23:30: How to build equanimity. 28:45: Recap

Dr. Hanson and Forrest bring the strength of Aspiration to a close with an episode dedicated framing our actions as offerings to others. The Foundations of Well Being: https://thefoundationsofwellbeing.com/affiliate/38370 Timestamps: 0:25: What does it mean to make your offering? 4:05: How does making your offering support aspiration generally? 5:45: Two blocks to aspiration. 8:45: How making your offering simplifies relationships. 10:10: Finding fertile ground. 13:45: Being wise around persistence. 16:30: How can we find more fertile ground? 23:10: Whole effort, whole heart. 27:15: Recap

Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can "aspire without attachment;" dreaming big dreams and pursuing them with commitment, while also being at peace with whatever happens. 0:40: What does “aspiring without attachment” mean? 2:45: Why is it a good thing to aspire without attachment? 7:55: Process vs. outcome goals. 10:35: Re-framing what “winning” looks like. 15:00: Accepting the reality of negative outcomes. 16:45: “Failure” as part of a process. 18:45: The power of big goals. 20:30: Relaxing the sense of self. 28:15: Being carried by purpose 31:00: Recap

Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can learn from and bring to life our childhood dreams - a key part of Aspiration. Timestamps: 1:15: Why is aspiration a key strength? 3:30: Why are childhood dreams important? 6:15: Viewing the world without assumptions. 10:15: Aspiring toward ends rather than means. 14:15: Being conscious of the impact of other people. 20:20: How the “dreaded experience” stops us from aspiring. 24:00: Love, work, and play. 29:15: Including talents and values in your life. 34:20: Ikigai 37:45: Recap

Today we’re beginning a new strength, Aspiration, with a conversation between Dr. Hanson and Dr. Dan Siegel. During this episode, Dr. Siegel will explain how you can use “mindsight" to tap into the dreams you had as a child, and honor those aspirations as an adult. This interview is also a part of the Foundations of Well-Being online program. If you'd like to learn more about the Foundations of Well Being: https://thefoundationsofwellbeing.com/affiliate/38370 Timestamps: 1:15: Interview begins 4:00: Why has it been important to you, personally, to develop inner strengths? 8:25: How has your life experience contributed to your view of Aspiration? 14:55: How can you use Mindsight to tune back in to your childhood dreams? 21:20: Reclaiming the dreams of your youth. 29:45: What are some of the internal blocks people bump into? 38:30: Supporting the thriving of others. 46:15: How can we support the aspirations of younger people? 56:30: What advice would you give your younger self?

At even the best of times, our relationships require a natural process of correction – let’s call it repair – to clear up little misunderstandings and ease points of friction. Doing that skillfully is the focus of today's episode. Timestamps: 1:15: What are the common things that require repair? 3:25: The problem of resisting repair. 9:00: Checking our attributions and understandings. 15:30: Negotiating relevant values. 17:40: Know that your needs matter. 20:50: Expressing your needs clearly. 22:15: Scaling your relationships. 23:40: Repair as an expression of caring. 25:45: Leading with the good. 27:00: Recap

Relationships go smoothly when everyone wants the same things. But how common is that? On this episode, Forrest and Dr. Hanson continue the strength of Courage by exploring how we can assert ourselves effectively. Timestamps: 1:15: Why do people struggle to assert themselves effectively? 3:10: Setting the stage for asserting yourself. 8:45: Keeping your eyes on the prize. 11:50: Commenting on process. 16:10: Focusing on the future. 18:15: What would it look like if you got what you wanted? 24:00: Make requests, not demands. 25:50: Making requests with dignity. 28:50: Consolidating your gains. 30:45: Make clear agreements. 32:15: How can I help you do this? 37:10: Recap

Think about the weight of what’s been unsaid in your relationships. What have the effects been on you and other people? Today we’ll explore how to express those undelivered communications, and "speak from the heart" with kindness and skill. Timestamps: 1:25: What do you mean by speaking from the heart? 3:00: What do we gain by speaking from the heart? 5:10: Speaking the positive as well as the negative. 6:20: The different dangers in speaking from the heart. 8:00: Establishing safety. 11:45: Being clear about our own facts. 15:30: What are the results you’re aiming for? 16:30: Talking about process. 21:20: Knowing your line in the sand. 22:30: Start by joining. 26:00: Leading with “I feel.” 28:15: Wise speech. 35:20: Continuing to practice empathy. 37:15: Nonviolent communication. 40:15: Honoring other people’s fundamental questions. 43:00: Recap

We have a natural desire to trust a reliable world - but life happens, and no person or organization is perfectly dependable. So we have to learn how to manage that natural undependability, which is the focus of this episode. The Foundations of Well-Being Program: https://thefoundationsofwellbeing.com/affiliate/38370 Timestamps: 2:00: Our expectations of dependability. 5:00: The undependability of experience. 7:30: The inevitability of disappointment. 12:30: Centering amidst disappointment. 17:00: Seeing what IS dependable. 20:40: Recap.