The Marriage Podcast for Smart People show

The Marriage Podcast for Smart People

Summary: With over 1,000,000 downloads...we have the research, the truth, and the answers you're looking for. You’re not satisfied with your marriage. You’re afraid of ending up alone--but married. Or maybe you fear losing your marriage entirely. Look, we know how tough marriage can be but, like you, we believe marriage should be forever. Many have told us that these weekly shows have helped them to create a marriage they love today and they’re going to treasure for a lifetime. You can see their comments in our reviews. Listen, you don’t have to be unhappy in your marriage. Or alone. Or even considering divorce. Start your marriage towards enjoyment and security today: first, subscribe to our podcast. Second, get our worksheets and other bonus content via Patreon. Third, build a thriving, passionate marriage! Who are we? Caleb has his Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy and brings you solid, research-based marriage advice once a week through this show. Verlynda keeps his two feet firmly planted on planet Earth! Together, we bring you The Marriage Podcast for Smart People from OnlyYouForever.com.

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  • Artist: Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele
  • Copyright: Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele, 2017. For personal self-help use only.

Podcasts:

 OYF113: If Your Spouse Is Too Jealous | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 27:08

Jealousy. Is. Frustrating. Both for the jealous person (when does enough jealousy make you feel safe?) and for the person being guarded. We’ll show you why this tactic actually ends up achieving exactly the opposite of what it is supposed to do, and what to do instead.

 OYF112: Find Yourself in a Roommate Marriage? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 25:29

Learn more about the problems, symptoms and deeper issues that are present in sexless marriages. If you’re in this situation, you can find hope and ideas for recovery.

 OYF111: Is My Marriage Beyond Recovery? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 23:59

We break this difficult subject into two parts. First, we look at indicators that your marriage is severely distressed. This helps you understand and assess the seriousness of the situation. It’s really an honest appraisal of what makes marriages really hard to be in. But we don’t leave you there. We give you four things to hold onto that show that there is hope, that your marriage CAN be recovered, and that rebuilding and recovery is possible.

 OYF110: Why You’re Not Getting Enough Sex and What To Do About It | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 26:25

Getting more sex in marriage is not about learning how to schmooze or grovel more effectively. You don’t want that kind of sex anyways. If you want to feel truly connected with real intimacy in every part of your marriage, you’ve got to listen to this episode. We reveal what researchers have uncovered about increasing sexual desire. We give you both short term and long term strategies to increase the lovemaking in your marriage.

 OYF109: 10 Sure-Fire Ways To Make Time For Each Other in a Crazy Busy Marriage | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 23:28

We’ve got 10 great ideas for you to take home to your spouse so you can start building the marriage you’ve always wanted! Verlynda and I also show you how to leverage the time you do have available to make the most of it. Sometimes it can be impossible to make more time: we’ll help you make the most of what you do have.

 OYF108: How to Create More Intimacy in Your Marriage | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 19:50

Intimacy is about so much more than having sex. It’s that deep sense of connection, trust and joy that we all want to feel in our marriages. In this episode, Verlynda and I show you how to build intimacy in four different but complementary ways: through disclosure and responsiveness, knowledge and understanding, curiosity and finally through sharing positive emotions and events. If you start working on this today, it will change your marriage for the better; and it will keep getting better, too!

 OYF107: Codependency in Marriage: What It Is and What To Do About It | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 28:52

Codependency can be disorientating, overwhelming and leave you feeling incredibly stuck. But you can shift your marriage away from a codependent relating style via the four steps I outline in this episode. I’ll show you how to think about your codependency and move towards a healthier style of relating to one another.

 OYF106: What To Do When Your Spouse Offends You | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 28:42

Sometimes we can’t pull out of the conflict cycle or spiral because we haven’t taken the time to figure out what went wrong. In this episode, instead of going straight to problem solving I show you the various types of statements that offend and how you might typically respond. Arming yourself with that knowledge helps you to better plan your own response so that you come out of the conflict with your spouse with your own integrity and dignity intact.

 OYF105: 3 Things To Talk About Every Day | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 21:03

Busy lives lead to less communicating — and more conflict. In this episode, we show you how the quantity and quality of your communication relates to your marital satisfaction. Also, we dive into the HOW of communicating — just because you’re doing it doesn’t mean you’re doing it right. Effective communication is a learned skill that will create deeper intimacy, and we want to help you get more of that!

 OYF104: How to Recover From Betrayal | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 31:09

When you’ve just learned of your spouse’s betrayal, your world becomes whirlwind of hurt, confusion and anger. Is it possible to find a way out of this storm? There is a way to work through the confusion and overwhelm. Towards recovery, peace and building a marriage that is stronger and resilient against the flaws that made it vulnerable before. In this episode of The Marriage Podcast for Smart People, I show you how your marriage can recover and move forward. Additionally, we drill into two specific areas: how to make amends (for the betrayer) and how to forgive (for the betrayed spouse).

 OYF103: Fight The Problem – Not Each Other! | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 26:01

There are really two core issues at play when I look at conflict: fighting styles and goals. Fighting styles are significant because they have a significant impact on the likelihood of a positive outcome. In this episode, I discuss the four styles with Verlynda and talk about the good, the bad and the ugly! Goals are another key piece that couples rarely discuss. And yet it’s our goals — dissimilar or otherwise - that underly the ongoing issues couples fight about. So when we get the goals out in the open and clarified, that’s one way to move towards fighting together rather than against each other.

 OYF102: 3 Essential Principles for Successful In-Law Relationships | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 30:57

Setting up your own family unit without estranging parents or in-laws can feel like a real juggling act at times. Even if you do have great in-laws. That whole where-do-we-go-for-Christmas thing and all the expectations that come with marrying into another family…it can be anything from tricky to downright painful. I’ll show you how to balance the value of honouring your parents against the importance of creating an autonomous family unit. If you have in-laws that are still living — you need to listen to this episode. You’ll learn how to have the independence you want while still cherishing and valuing the healthy relationships you can have with your own parents along with your spouse’s parents.

 OYF101: Always Fighting About the Kids? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 30:18

Parenting has a lot of good times but it can be a huge source of conflict, too. In this episode, I’ll show you the importance of having a united front and how that plays into the dynamics that happen in spouse-spouse-child triangles. Once we figure out the dynamics, it’s also a good idea for you and your spouse figure out where your parenting values and priorities may be misaligned. These unacknowledged differences can be an ongoing source of conflict because then we’re often just debating the symptoms rather than talking to each other about those closely held values and ideals. Also: I cover the need to be aware of where and when you do have your parenting conflict. This can be a source of anxiety and distress for children. Again, it’s not something we often think about but it does come back to the need to display a united front. As usual, you can get the full text version of this episode at http://oyf.link/101

 OYF100: 100 Episodes of The Marriage Podcast for Smart People! | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 18:08

Episode #100! Wahoo!!! Normally we focus on real-world, research-based strategies to help your marriage. Today, we’re mostly just going to stop and reflect on our podcast and www.onlyyouforever.com and talk a little about our future plans.   But, this being the marriage podcast for smart people, hosted by a research-guru…we couldn’t have no research! So here’s the research, and if you want all our nitty-gritty details, you’ll have to listen to the audio. What Caleb and I do is called copreneurialism. An entrepreneur is a person who runs his or her own business. Copreneurs are when a husband/wife team start and run a business. So, that’s what we are! According to the research, about 14% of households in the USA have their own business. Of those, about 30% are husband-wife teams.[i] Here are some possible tensions for being in business together (and our responses in brackets). As I said, more details are on the podcast. * Underestimating the tensions (we’re guilty) * Boundaries (ok) * Conflict (a little) * Roles (a struggle) * Neglect of personal needs (didn’t exercise for 18 months) * Inequitable division of responsibility (feel that) * Time and financial pressures (for sure) * Loss of ability for the uninvolved spouse to act as a sounding board for new ideas or for ways to reduce work tension (not a problem).[ii] That’s all the research for today. Short and sweet! If you want more details, or are curious about what’s ahead for www.onlyyouforever.com listen to episode 100 of the Marriage Podcast for Smart People. But before I go, I just have to give you guys the credit. It’s exciting to hit episode 100, but if it wasn’t for you guys, we wouldn’t have made it. We give you the info, and sometimes push you WAY outside your comfort zone, but YOU are the ones putting it into practice in your marriage. You are the real heroes making your marriage something you love today and will treasure for a lifetime! Kudos!   [i] Glenn Muske et al., “The Intermingling of Family and Business Financial Resources: Understanding the Copreneurial Couple,” Journal of Financial Counseling & Planning 20, no. 2 (December 2009): 27–47. [ii] Ibid. Episode #100! Wahoo!!! Normally we focus on real-world, research-based strategies to help your marriage. Today, we’re mostly just going to stop and reflect on our podcast and www.onlyyouforever.com and talk a little about our future plans.   But, this being the marriage podcast for smart people, hosted by a research-guru…we couldn’t have no research! So here’s the research, and if you want all our nitty-gritty details, you’ll have to listen to the audio. What Caleb and I do is called copreneurialism. An entrepreneur is a person who runs his or her own business. Copreneurs are when a husband/wife team start and run a business. So, that’s what we are! According to the research, about 14% of households in the USA have their own business. Of those, about 30% are husband-wife teams.[i] Here are some possible tensions for being in business together (and our responses in brackets). As I said, more details are on the podcast. * Underestimating the tensions (we’re guilty) * Boundaries (ok) * Conflict (a little) * Roles (a struggle) * Neglect of personal needs (didn’t exercise for 18 months) * Inequitable division of responsibility (feel that) * Time and financial pressures (for sure) * Loss of ability for the uninvolved spouse to act as a sounding board for new ideas or for ways to reduce work tension (not a problem).[ii]

 OYF099: Making Time For Your Spouse: 2 Strategies That Actually Work | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 25:00

When you’re looking for more time with your spouse, that’s a good thing. The problem is, it’s often so hard to find that time. In this episode, we give you two effective, research-backed strategies that actually work to help you make more time with you spouse. The question is, are you actually willing to pay the price for creating that time? It’s worth it, but ultimately it’s your decision. When you do choose to make more time for your spouse, the rewards are great. Marriages that last are characterized by the willingness of both spouses to consider their time together as something that is sacred and intentional.

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