The Marriage Podcast for Smart People

Admiration, or feeling a deep sense of fondness and approval for someone, is an amazing force for good in any relationship, and marriages are no different. In fact, researchers have seen that the levels of admiration newlywed couples show towards each other, can predict whether the couples are still together six years later! To get more admiration going in your marriage, you need to get better at noticing when your spouse needs your help, and then finding ways to meet their needs in a way that's worthy of admiration. This doesn't have to be a big grand gesture, in fact it normally works best in the little everyday stuff of married life. So what are the benefits of admiration? And how can you get more of it in your marriage? Join us as we look into the powerful effects of admiration in marriage.

So you’ve been married many years, you both have jobs, you have kids, a mortgage and a dog. In the middle of all that can you still find time for a bit of flirting and romance? Flirting in marriage is going to look a bit different to flirting when you’re just getting together. Often the motivation behind flirting determines the effect it has: are you getting your flirt on just because you want to have sex, or are you trying to express intimacy, have fun and really create a unique shared world for you and your spouse to inhabit? Join us for a saucy episode of the Marriage Podcast for Smart People where we look at the ins and outs of bringing flirting back into your marriage!

Everybody uses a bit of sarcasm now and then, but is it really as harmless as you think? Sarcasm can often be a way to hide our true emotions and express annoyance or criticism in a superficially more acceptable way. But if marriage is all about open and honest communication, can sarcasm have a place in it? Of course, sarcasm can be funny. But if used insensitively, sarcasm in marriage can convey defensiveness, rejection or even contempt. So how do you tread this line? Join us as we look into the effects of sarcasm on marriage, and how you can cut back on it when it becomes a problem.

Having a husband with "wandering eyes" who has a habit of ogling other women is a problem for many women today. Objectifying and judging women based on their looks is such a strong part of our culture that many wives may think there's nothing they can do about their husband's behavior, or that they're wrong to be upset by it. Ogling and objectifying may be commonplace, but the consequences for a marriage can still be severe. Ogling can destroy the trust an intimacy in your marriage, interfere with your sex life and create a betrayal event which spells bad news for any marriage. So what can women do? And what can guys do who recognize the problem and want to work their way out? Join us as we look at the causes, consequences and solutions to "wandering eye syndrome" in marriage!

Managing a demanding job and a sometimes equally demanding family can be hard work. You only have so many hours in the day and it can feel like your work and your home life are both competing for the same time and energy. This work-family conflict can have some seri ous consequences: for you, for your marriage and for your work. Learning to balance work and life is about managing the resources you have available to you and learning new skills where needed. But it's also about making tough decisions, choosing to stand up for your marriage and ultimately choosing which is more important to you: work or family.

Is loyalty just about staying faithful to your spouse? Or is that the bare minimum? Real loyalty is the journey of a lifetime: it's about becoming one with your spouse and sharing everything with them: your hopes and dreams and vision for your life. Loyalty can be conflicted at times, by family, work or other circumstances. But a loyal marriage is a place of real security and love, as well as being a place of personal growth and discovery. Join us as we explore what it really means to be a loyal spouse.

There's a bit of defensiveness in all of us. And that means every marriage suffers from the effects of defensive communication sooner or later. Defensiveness is such a harmful thing because it prevents you ever moving forward: you just keep thrashing out the same arguments without any of it ever getting through. Defensiveness in marriage comes from one person feeling insecure about an aspect of themself, and the spouse pushing on that particular button. Luckily there are ways to reduce your defensiveness, and ways to raise issues without triggering your spouse's defenses. Join us as we explore these issues and start cutting defensiveness out of your marriage.

Resentment happens when you feel you have been treated unfairly or wronged in some way. In marriage, conflict that goes unresolved or feeling like you are doing all the work can lead to resentment, creating a toxic cycle that only leads to more conflict and unhappiness. What can be done to stop resentment taking hold? Join us as we examine resentment in marriage and three ways you can deal with it.

Marriage counseling can be a mysterious and daunting prospect for couples whose marriage is in trouble. Choosing the right kind of therapist, getting past all the pscyho-babble and exposing yourself to scrutiny can seem like a scary prospect. Understanding what's involved in counseling can help you figure out if it's right for you. Join us as we demystify the process and take a deeper look at the aims, values and success rates of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.

Mental illnesses like depression, anxiety and bipolar affect millions of people around the world. Mental illness is a hard thing to live with, and supporting a mentally ill spouse can be a real challenge. But there is hope. Supporting your spouse through long-term mental illness requires separating the person from the illness, learning to manage conflict sensitively, and other skills which can be learned and practiced. It also requires you to look after yourself properly. Join us as we look into how mental illness can impact marriages and how you can stay strong in the face of these difficulties.

Gratitude is a powerful thing. Remembering to appreciate the good things in life isn't always easy but it can definitely improve the quality of your life. In marriage, being grateful to your spouse and expressing that gratitude creates a positive force that improves things for both the expresser and the receiver of gratitude. So how exactly do the benefits of gratefulness work? And can you develop gratefulness like a skill so that you can see the benefits of it in your marriage. Join us as we explore how being a more grateful spouse can help your marriage.

We've all got a bit of narcissism us. But for some people their levels of self-obsession can become harmful or even become a diagnosed personality disorder. Narcissism can be a hard condition to live with but it can be even harder for your spouse and those around you. Narcissism can impact all areas of marriage as the narcissist sees the relationship as only existing to serve their own needs. This can make being married to a narcissist a hard and thankless task. But there is hope. When the right traits and attitudes are worked on narcissism can be reduced, or even turned into a positive force that strengthens your marriage. Join us as we examine narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder and how to cope with them in your marriage.

Merry Christmas! Or is it? Christmas can be a time of fun and celebration for many, but a lot of couples also see it as a time of stress, argument and expensive present lists! How can you make sure your marriage survives the holidays? Is it possible to have a fun, relaxed time and remember the real purpose of the holiday amid all the chaos? Join us for a special Christmas episode as we look at the ingredients of a successful Christmas!

Pornography has no place in a healthy marriage, and regular viewing can lead to real hurt in your marriage. But it also takes a terrible toll on the actors involved in the porn industry. From abuse, addiction and STDs to human trafficking and exploitation of deeply vulnerable people, the reality for these actors is shocking indeed. Join us as we look into the dark realities of the porn business, and why you should make sure this world never gets anywhere near your marriage.

Blended families, or families with children from the current and previous marriages, are becoming more and more common. But couples are often in the dark as to how they should function. How do you build a new sense of family identity? How do you form a relationship with your new stepchildren? And how do you make sure your marriage survives under the pressure? Join us as we look into the dynamics of blended families and offer some practical tips from the research on making it work for you and your marriage.