The Marriage Podcast for Smart People

Nobody's marriage is perfect. But a marriage with long term, unresolved problems can have some serious costs. Today we examine the research and find out how an unhealthy marriage can impact many areas of life, including your health, your job, and your children. But there is hope. Working on restoring your marriage will help you tackle these other issues as well. And no marriage is ever too far gone to save.

The odd criticism and complaint is a normal part of marriage, and can be necessary to help you grow closer together. But sometimes the constant complaints can get out of hand and start to affect your sense of self-worth. High levels of criticism could be a sign of a marriage in distress, or that your spouse is struggling with their own issues and externalizing them onto you. Either way, you need to find a way to protect your self-esteem while you get to the root of your spouse's criticism issues and bring your marriage to a healthier place. Join us for a look at how you can stay strong in the face of criticism.

A loving, passionate and intimate marriage is a wonderful thing. The benefits of a great marriage relationship can affect every area of your life, from your health and happiness to your longevity! But what are the most important benefits of a happy marriage, according to the research? Join us as we dive into the top 5 benefits of working on your marriage.

People spend their lives chasing after happiness, but joy is something that comes from within and allows you to be content in any situation. Joy is one of the six basic human emotions but it's not something we all experience as often as we'd like. Finding joy in marriage is about friendship, attentiveness and supporting each other's passions. It's also about being yourself and feeling free to pursue your own goals in life. Join us as we examine what affects how joyful we are, and how you can create more joy in your life and your marriage.

Sexual abuse can have a big impact on those who experience it, leaving behind a legacy of trauma, sadness and inability to form strong relationships. One of the places past abuse can manifest is in your marriage. But there is hope. The trauma of sexual abuse can impact how you relate to your spouse and to your children, but it doesn't have to. You can develop the resiliency needed to rebuild your trust and your framework for relationships. If you, your spouse, or someone you know have been through the horrors of abuse, join us for this exploration of how it can impact marriage, and what to do about it.

What's it like being married to a spouse who can't stop lying? Lies and dishonesty might be present in most marriages to some extent, but for chronic or pathological liars, lying is a habit they can't break out of. Chronic lying may be caused by brain impairments, or by past trauma leading to low self esteem and the need to protect yourself by spinning elaborate falsehoods. Constant lying can erode at the trust and intimacy in a marriage, and yet even for chronic liars there is hope. Dealing with the underlying issues and training yourself to respond differently may be hard work, but creating a marriage based on trust and honesty is definitely worth it.

Love is one of the most powerful and wonderful feelings in the world. But is it something that you can increase and work on over time? Absolutely! Feeling more love within your marriage is about learning to recognize, become aware of, and express your emotions. It's also about increasing the intimacy you have with your spouse and working through any beliefs you have about yourself or your ability to love. Everyone wants to have more love in their marriage, so join us as we take a look at how you can increase the love you have for your spouse every day.

Hugs are great. Hugging your spouse is such a great way to connect with them, and regular hugging has all kinds of benefits for your health and your marriage. But did you know that scientists have invented a self hugging machine? Or that there's a national hugging day? Join us for a fun look at the weirder side of hugging, and learn how to harness the power of the hug in your marriage.

Love is a powerful thing. It creates a rush of chemicals in the brain similar to that experienced by drug users. For some people, this rush caused by falling in love can become an unhealthy addiction. Love addicts aren't interested in having healthy, stable relationships. They're just after the quick-fix of excitement and arousal that comes from the early stages of a relationship. When that wears off, they become disinterested in the relationship, or else move on entirely. Where does this startling form of addiction come from? What can be done about it? And how can you move from this immature, me-centered view of love to the full joy of intimate, self-sacrificing love that lasts a lifetime?

Assertiveness is the technique of stating your needs and desires in a firm but non-aggressive way. This is a vital skill in any marriage, and one that can stop arguments, increase overall satisfaction and help you both get better at expressing what you want. You can start learning to be assertive by practicing some basic verbal and nonverbal techniques, but there's more to it than that. You need to look at your core beliefs: do you think you are in control of your life? Are you someone who is worthy of being respected and listen to? Your answers to these questions affect how well you will be able to stand up for yourself. Join us as we take a look at assertiveness and how it can help your marriage.

Therapeutic separation means agreeing to take some time apart from your spouse in order to heal your marriage and work through your personal issues. It's something many couples consider when they seem to be out of all other options except divorce. But does it actually help? Separation certainly has its risks. You might drift further apart. You might be at risk of infidelity. Or you might just drift back into the same old habits when you get back together. To make it work you need to be fully committed to the idea of staying together, and use the time for personal growth and discovery so that you can come back together stronger and with new perspectives. Join us for an in-depth look at therapeutic separation and how it could help your marriage.

Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) often grow up in very chaotic, turbulent families. Their parent's alcohol dependency, mood swings and absences can all affect how young children learn to relate to other people. These effects can continue long into adult life, often affecting the marriages of ACOAs. ACOA often have a deep yearning for intimacy and trust, held in check by their fear that their needs will not be met. Luckily, there are things you can work on in your marriage today that can reduce the legacy of your parent's alcoholism and define your marriage on your own terms. Join us as we explore the effect of parental alcoholism on marriage, and how you can stop it impacting your happiness.

ADHD is a mental health disorder that's normally thought of as affecting children. But adults with ADHD can often struggle with attention, memory, and impulse control. This can sometimes put strain on a marriage, so today we're looking at how you can avoid that. As with any personal issue one spouse can bring to a marriage, there are plenty of things you can do individually and as a couple to stop ADHD impacting your happiness and intimacy. From providing structure and regularity to helping change the underlying beliefs around ADHD, your marriage can actually be a place of healing where you learn to deal with your ADHD symptoms more effectively.

Confronting an abusive husband is never an easy proposition. But with the right preparation it is possible to get your husband to recognize his need to change, and get him into therapy, all while protecting your own safety and that of your family. There are different kinds of interventions available, all of which work best on men at different points in the change process. But a big part of the challenge is recognizing when your husband is prepared to change, and when you yourself are ready too. Join us as we explore how to safely get abusive husbands the help they need.

Nagging can be a common thing in many marriages. That cycle of making a request and having it shot down over and over can lead to arguments and resentment. Giving in to the nagging teaches your spouse that nagging is a good strategy, but NOT giving in leads to conflict. So what can you do? There are a couple of approaches for reducing the amount of nagging in your marriage, some obvious and some requiring you to look beyond the nagging and see the genuine concern beneath it. Join us for an in-depth look on how cycles of nagging can form, and how to break them. We'll also answer the age-old question of why wives are thought to nag more than husbands!