Hole in My Heart Podcast

What does “fasting from your desire from sex” mean, and why was it so significant to Matt? Why do so many male Christian leaders fall sexually? Is “maintenance sex” good for marriages? How can guys access their hearts more (and how can women help)? Today we are concluding our deep-dive of themes in our Impossible Marriage book with a co-author, Matt Krieg. Highlights: “Oftentimes, because we are taught that sex is the thing that we're supposed chase—and we’re not supposed to be these emotional people, we’re supposed to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and get the job done…we just run to what feels good….It’s all very powerful, but it’s not just this physiological thing. It’s emotional.” -Matt Krieg Do the Next Thing: Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/471437812 Order the book! https://lauriekrieg.com Last day to register for the Impossible Marriage Workshop! https://my.calvarygr.org/default.aspx?page=3911&event=5048 Bonus: Check out Producer Steve on the radio! http://wcsg.org

We often encourage people to: "Live the Metaphor." It means, "show us heaven in how you live and love." Sure, in our Impossible Marriage book we mainly use the phrase to exhort married people, but SINGLE PEOPLE LIVE THE METAPHOR, TOO. How? One of our favorites, Greg Coles, brings the heat, the love, and the real-time conviction about how single people equally give us a glimpse of heaven, too. Bring it, Greg. Let's wake up, people. Highlights: “The Body of Christ is actually purposeful in having people are called to one vocation and another vocation, instead of turning us all into carbon copies of each other. So I think the healthy question that we can ask—any of us, single or married—as we’re thinking about fostering unity within the Body of Christ between us is, ‘How does my vocation equip me to serve the Body of Christ and to be the Body of Christ to the world in a way that a different vocation would not?’” -Dr. Greg Coles “I think the more we see each other as purposefully different characters in this joint story, the more ready we are to live as one without thinking of ourselves as identical to each other.” -Dr. Greg Coles Do the Next Thing: Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/469187305 Register for the Impossible Marriage Workshop! https://lauriekrieg.com Check out our “Live the Metaphor” merch! https://lauriekrieg.com/shop/ Check out Greg’s website (and his amazing book!) here. https://www.gregorycoles.com

When past trauma affects today's living, it can be challenging to function in any way. In this first episode of our Impossible Marriage Moments' mini-series of three, we dive deep into that theme: Laurie experienced trauma's effects in her marriage, it magnetized to her attractions toward women, and together, they almost walked her to a divorce. What can we do if past trauma is affecting us now? What if it's gripping someone we love? Author and therapist, Dr. Dave Beach, guides us brilliantly toward some next right steps. I Highlights: I “Loving attachment is the crucible for a lot of raw stuff but a lot of healing. We’re harmed in relationship and we’re healed in relationship.” -Dr. David Beach “One of the facets of Jesus that I think brings us more compassion for others is ‘Jesus, Man of Sorrows.’” -Dr. David Beach “[T]he beauty of a traumatized story with growth and reconstruction is it’s the imprint—the thumbprint, if you will—of God, [of] the gospel. Because that’s what happens in the life of Jesus.” -Dr. David Beach I Do the Next Thing: I Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/466717786 Check out books by Dr. David Beach and his wife, Cynthia, here! https://www.thebanner.org/bio/dave-beach Pre-order the IMPOSSIBLE MARRIAGE book! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/ Sign up for our Webinar! https://my.calvarygr.org/default.aspx?page=3911&event=5048

We often talk about sexuality or racial equity--but what about when both hit home? Our new friend, Henry Abuto, helps us understand what it is like to live life as a Black man who is also a sexual minority (and an immigrant!), and how we can all engage each other like Jesus. I Highlights: I “When I’m not easily swayed by my emotions and I inform my feelings rather than just follow them blindly, that’s when I know I’m speaking from a centered place….If you [Laurie or Matt] leave conversations with each other after resolving conflict, do you feel encouraged and loved by that person, even through admonishment, or do you just feel beat down? If the person feels beat down and discouraged by the things you said to them, then even if you were correct, you were still wrong because of the posture of your heart.” -Henry Abuto I Do the Next Thing! I Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/464362651 Check out Henry Abuto’s articles here! https://www.henryabuto.com That Barna research we referenced? Here: https://www.barna.com/research/american-christians-race-problem/ Pre-Order our book! :) https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/

He's Black. She's white. He has his past. She has hers. Then they get married. Guys, we have our REAL LIFE FRIENDS in the house, and they are here to show us a microcosm of the critical bridging of divides that must happen in our world. How do they bridge barriers in their marriage? What can we learn from them about bridging racial divides today? Chaplain of the Kent County jail, Jason Botbyl and his wife, Julie, are here to help us out. I Highlights: I “I think to live life fully, especially in Christ, there needs to be this vibrant, diverse atmosphere, which I think people are really wanting right now.”-Jason Botbyl “I know that I’m going to see someone that is made in the Image of God and I know that they need Jesus—that’s a fact. And so, let’s go see what Jesus has for the both of us today.” -Jason Botbyl “The power of the gospel is just so redemptive—redeeming, buying back what was lost, what was broken.” -Julie Botbyl “I just picture the cross. There’s this barrier, but I picture the cross in front of the barrier.”-Julie Botbyl I Do the Next Thing! I Pre-Order the IMPOSSIBLE MARRIAGE book!! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/ Register for the Impossible Marriage Workshop! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/ If you’d like to connect with Jason and Julie, email Laurie at podcast@lauriekrieg.com.

I If you've been around the church for a while, you know the verse: I "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 has been showing up on coffee mugs and social media posts for years...but what if, as Megan Fate Marshman says, "we've been holding onto the wrong promises"? Join us today as we hear from Megan about how to rightly interpret Scripture and hold onto the right promises--promises that will blow your mind if you let them. May you be deeply encouraged in the listening. I Highlights: I “‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future’ were words written to a specific people at a specific time and I fear we’ve been holding onto those as promises for ourselves. And we go through COVID-19 and it doesn’t feel like plans to do all of that so then we start to distrust our God, when we’ve been holding onto the wrong promises.” -Megan Fate Marshman “The way Paul is defining good in Romans 8:29 is this: to form us more into the likeness of Jesus. And if that’s the case, if that’s God’s definition of good, than He can use all things.” -Megan Fate Marshman “'Even if’ is not my common word. Too often, I use these words: ‘But God, what if?’ …’What if?’ breeds fear. ‘Even if’ breeds faith. And why can we say ‘even if’? Because God knows the plans: Jeremiah 29:11.” -Megan Fate Marshman I Do the Next Thing: I Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/459591357 Get Megan’s new book, Meant For Good! https://www.meganfate.com/shop/meant-for-good Pre-Order the Impossible Marriage book! (Releasing October 27th!!) https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/

I Do you wrestle with shame? I Us, too. Today, we hear from Curt Thompson, author of The Anatomy of the Soul and the Soul of Shame, about how shame affects us, specifically in this pandemic time. Join us as we learn the roots of shame, how to hear from God, practices that help deal with shame, how to meet each other in it--and even talk about Jesus' lightsaber! This week's episode is balm to the stressed and shame-filled soul and we are deeply grateful for Curt's wisdom. I Highlights: I “What's the next new thing that God is gonna create? What is the next artifact of beauty that’s gonna happen here in the next five minutes?” -Curt Thompson “Shame isn’t now telling these stories for the first time, it’s just that COVID now gives these stories an opportunity to come full-blown into their maturation. It’s not like it’s creating our problems, it’s just revealing that these are the kinds of people that we are and these are the kinds of people that we always have been.” -Curt Thompson “We are not just made to be known…We’re made to be known on the way to then create beauty and goodness in the world.” -Curt Thompson I Do the Next Thing: I Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/457103596 Pre-Order the Book!!! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/ Listen to Episodes 64 and 65, where we discuss what shame is with Curt. https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/exploring-our-souls-of-shame-part-1/ Check out Curt Thompson’s books, The Soul of Shame and the Anatomy of the Soul. https://curtthompsonmd.com/books/

It’s almost LAUNCH WEEK! Join us this week as we invite Ben and Lauren Schulke, leaders of the Impossible Marriage book launch team, into the studio to talk about the message of the book! We’ll hear about the Schulke’s story, some interesting marriage advice, highlights of the book, and—as always—how the gospel is good news for everyone, everyday. I Highlights: I “How is the gospel good news to us right now? I really think it’s in this place of God wanting me to be kind to myself.” -Ben Schulke “I don’t cry in books, even if they’re really good or really beautifully written, but this one, your book, I wept through most of it…They were tears of hope and joy...” -Lauren Schulke “It kind of instigated this worship, I guess…Just thanking Jesus and worshiping Jesus because you guys couldn’t fix it! No one can fix this….I also hope that [the book] helps spring up hope in people, also understanding that…nothing’s going to fix a broken marriage….But Jesus can.” -Lauren Schulke I Do the Next Thing: I Join our LAUNCH TEAM! The last day to sign up is Wednesday, the 9th! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/ Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/454785156 Listen to Ben and Lauren’s story here! https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/broken-beloved-pastors-part-1-with-ben-and-lauren-schulke/

I Raise your hand if you've ever felt lonely! I In this pandemic world we're living in--and even more, just in general--loneliness is something we all experience--and none of us talk about. Today, we welcome Jason Gaboury, author of Wait With Me, to tackle the uncomfortable and vitally important topic of loneliness. Why do we experience it? What do we do about it? Where is God in the midst of it? Join us as we answer these questions and more this week! I Highlights: I “What most people don’t know is that the Christian tradition, that the Bible itself, has powerful tools that can lead people through loneliness into deep connection with God, deep connection with themselves, and deeper compassion for other people.” -Jason Gaboury “Jesus doesn’t skip to the end...God isn't that kind of God. [He is r]adically present to you…Radically present right here, right now, in the midst of this.” -Jason Gaboury “That feeling of loneliness. That feeling of ‘I need to connect with other people for it to be right’—That’s not a result of the Fall, that’s not a result of sin. And the fact that we feel shame about needing other people is…because we’re formed as Western individualists, not biblical Christians. Biblical Christians should feel no more shame in feeling lonely than they do of their need for food and sleep.” -Jason Gaboury I Do the Next Thing: I Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/452670205 Check out Jason Gaboury’s book, Wait With Me! https://www.ivpress.com/jason-gaboury While you’re at it, check out “Spiritual Disciplines for Seasons of Loneliness,” also by Jason Gaboury. https://www.jasongaboury.com/blog/2020/5/28/spiritual-disciplines-for-seasons-of-loneliness Join our BOOK LAUNCH TEAM! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/

I It’s Election Time! Is the gospel still good news...? I Today, we invite Michael Wear, Chief Strategist of the AND Campaign, to discuss how to hold onto Christ’s heart in the midst of intense election year. For a few years now, Michael and the AND Campaign have been wrestling with the tension of unity and diversity, especially when engaging in politics. Join us as we discuss unity in the Body of Christ, primary and secondary issues, how to speak up with grace, and how to receive grace from Jesus as we vote. I Highlights: I “The vocational question that has sorta guided my life is, ‘What does it mean to be faithful in public things?’” -Michael Wear "As Christians, in all of life, we are not responsible for the outcome of things that happen. We are to steward the influence and responsibility that we have in the most faithful way that we know how.” -Michael Wear “The state of our politics is a reflection of the state of our souls.” -Michael Wear I Do the Next Thing: I Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/450271055 Go and get Compassion and Conviction. Do it. https://www.ivpress.com/compassion-conviction And follow & Campaign on all the things. It will edify you. https://andcampaign.org While you’re clicking around, we’d love to hear from you via a review of the podcast, or simply by sharing the episode with a friend. “Hey, I thought you might like these guys.” Also, you can now join our launch team for the NEW Impossible Marriage book! Do it today! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/

I Has it ever been hard for you to come to Jesus? I What do we do in those moments? When we are at the end of our rope, how to do we approach God exactly as we are? Today, we welcome Rashawn Copeland, author of Start Where You Are, to discuss his experiences with these questions and more. Rashawn brings good and gracious wisdom to the table, inviting us to come to God from the place we're in--not where we think we should be--and trust Him to meet us there. Join us as we hear Rashawn's heart on this issue and others, always coming back to how the gospel is good news for everyone, everyday. I Highlights: I “I wouldn’t go to God as I actually was, I always went to Him how I pretended to be. And I just want to encourage someone to go to Him with a broken and contrite heart…That’s the sacrifice He loves. Come to Him…with all your mess, all your brokenness, and He’ll meet you there. He wants to. He’s longing. He said, ‘Draw near to Me, and I’ll draw near to you.'” -Rashawn Copeland “Even if you feel too dirty, you’re not too dirty to be cleansed. You’re not too broken to be fixed. You’re not too unworthy to be loved. Just come to God as you are and He’ll take you where you need to be.” -Rashawn Copeland I Do the Next Thing: I This week's dare: share this podcast with ONE person! Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/447946879 Check out I'm So Blessed Daily's website here: https://soblesseddaily.com/ And like their Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/Imsoblesseddaily/ Pre-order Rashawn Copeland's book, Start Where You Are, today! https://www.startwhereyouarebook.com/

I Parents...this is your week! I This week, Matt and Laurie take your questions on the advice they give to parents of LGBTQ+ kids--and, really, it's just good advice for everyone, always coming back to the gospel and the purpose of our lives in God's eyes. Topics include: What is the advice we offer to all parents of LGBT+ kids? Would we bake the cake/do the photography/do therapy for a same-sex couple? How do we know if we are called to marriage or singleness? I Highlights: I “The most—for me—winsome reason for God’s design for marriage being between men and women is because we’re so different. God did that on purpose. Because if Matt and I, in our difference can be one...I’m showing you a gospel picture...” -Laurie Krieg "I don’t know how to answer the singleness piece, but the marrying piece, it had to be [Laurie]. God didn’t want me to just marry anyone. He didn’t call me to general marriage—He called me to [Laurie].” - Matt Krieg "It’s important to not make [marriage]...an idol, to not make that thing the focus of my worship, but to take it as a gift from the One I worship.” -Steve O’Dell  I Do the Next Thing: I Watch this Conversation! (Coming Soon) And while you're at it, check out Laurie's YouTube Channel! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKnRqqDarXvuDzeYDwG3_3A?view_as=subscriber Listen to Episode #123: Single but Not Solitary with Peter Valk, to learn more about the call to singleness here: https://soundcloud.com/laurie-krieg/episode-123-single-but-not-solitary-with-pieter-valk. Also, check out Greg Coles' book Single, Gay, Christian here: http://www.gregorycoles.com/book/ Jump on our sale this month--FREE SHIPPING on our Journey Well Study for the month of August! Find it here: https://lauriekrieg.com/product/journey-well-study-explore-your-deepest-needs-and-how-to-meet-them/ Sign up for our next webinar: "What We Tell Every Parent of an LGBT+ Child" on September 15th (it's free if you become one of our partners!). Find registration here: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_nCBDE76rRMy5X0OPe_VaYQ

I Welcome to Season 4! I We're kicking off this season with a discussion on endurance and courage! What do we do when suffering hits and we're called upon to continue in the work God has given us? Join Matt, Laurie, and Steve as we explore practices and experiences that help build up "endurance muscles" for any form of suffering. I Highlights: I “More and more, [looking back] instills more trust that the God we worship is going to be with me.” -Matt Krieg “Staying in the world, where God has us, is where endurance is required—*and* dependence on Him is required.” -Steve O’Dell “...[I]f I can do that vulnerable place and open it up to Jesus, throughout the day, if I’m continuing that practice, I actually am able to receive surprises from Him.” -Laurie Krieg I Do the Next Thing: I Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/443488884 Join our Facebook group for weekly discussions of each podcast! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast Sign up for our next webinar Saturday, August 1, 9:30-11am EST to hear more about the practice of lament in everyday life! https://lauriekrieg.regfox.com/how-we-practice-lament-in-real-life And here's the DARE this week: Share this podcast with ONE person!

Guys! It's the season three finale! After walking through this episode, we felt this season gutted us in the best way and offered hope when we needed it. We did get practical (our theme this season), and we did get real (our constant desire). We were so grateful to listen back to highlight clips from some of our favorites and yours: 1. Episode 99:A Gender Conversation Part 2 Heather Skriba 2. Episode 92: Broken/Beloved Pastors Part 2 with Johnny and Amanda 3. Episode 96: Healthy Friendship and Touch as a Single Person with Meg Baatz 4.Episode 104: Practically Living Life in the Presence of God with Ken Boa 5.Episode 109: When Life Doesn't Go as Planned with Sheridan Voysey 6. Episode 128: Engaging Today's Suffering with Hope with Sam and Toni Collier 7. Episode 116: Maturity is Not an Option with John Eldredge Join us as we pick up themes from each episode, and, of course, talk about how the gospel was good news for us this season. Thanks for being a part of the podcast fam, fam! See you in August! *You can find the links to all of the above episodes here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/season-3-recap-our-favorites-and-yours/* I Highlights: I "I'm so glad that he's living in the open. And I know that pain of the deceit, and the having to hide and to mitigate every circumstance of being found out, and it's so much better on the other side." -Matt Krieg "Every one of us can take something away from that because we've all experience some kind of heartbreak, disappointment...whatever. And...that just really helped me to...look at it differently. And that's what intimacy with God does, it reframes that stuff." -Steve O'Dell "Let's get gritty...Let's turn into gold, because the fire's gonna hurt but if we're staying in the fire with Jesus and with each other, we are going to be gold." -Laurie Krieg I Do the Next Thing: I Watch this conversation: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/season-3-recap-our-favorites-and-yours/ Take our HIMH Podcast Survey to help us make season four the best yet!: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/PZC9C27 Take advantage of our BOGO deal for Journey Well: https://lauriekrieg.com/product/journey-well-study-explore-your-deepest-needs-and-how-to-meet-them/ Listen to Matt and Laurie's story here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/matt-and-lauries-stories-rebooted-and-your-premarital-questions/ And Producer Steve's story here: https://soundcloud.com/laurie-krieg/episode-5-producer-steves-story

*Real* talk: Authenticity seems to be currency we can "use" to deepen friendships, feel seen, or even to get more followers.  But that type of authenticity--that is an end in itself--isn't what we are calling "authentic authenticity." There is selfishness in it, and the fruit produced from it ... tastes gross. How can we and why should we be truly authentic? How can single people experience this? How can married people if their spouse is unwilling to go to the emotional depths?  Let's get this this real conversation rolling with author and Fierce Marriage creator, Ryan Frederick. *Note: The QOTW we give at the end of this episode was answered in 128. 128's is answered next week in 131. ;) Sorry about that!* | Highlights: | “The beauty of [speaking emotionally deep] is that it is not a skill that is un-learnable. It’s not something that people cannot overcome. The biggest hurdle is just the desire…until that desire is there, it’s like pulling teeth.” --Ryan Frederick “One of the biggest issues of our day and age and culture is not the conscious, ‘I’m burying this thing because I just don’t want to got here,’ it’s more, ‘I’m just so distracted I’m not even thinking about going there.’” --Ryan Frederick “Prayer is not nothing. What is prayer if it is not our expression of our need for God’s explicit intervention in our lives?” --Ryan Frederick | Do the Next Thing: | Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/430860353 Check out Ryan and Selena's latest book See-Through Marriage here: https://seethroughbook.com/?utm_source=fiercemarriage.com Their Fierce Marriage site? Here: https://fiercemarriage.com There's a conversation happening on our HIMH Pod FB page! Join it here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast/?ref=bookmarks Take our end-of-season survey HERE! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/PZC9C27